7 Posts for The 7th Year : The First Year

Reaching the first seven years is something. A little thing to celebrate this huge milestone through something that I know best. So here we go.

Unlike the ‘tricky’ pregnancy, her delivery was too ‘quick and easy’.

Visited the hospital for reguler check up.
Turned out she was on the way. Then everything escalated quickly.
Water broke in 2 hours.
Delivery started at the exact time like a name we prepared for her.
Became a mother 3 weeks early than expected.
Returned home 3 days later as a family.

(Full story of delivery).

“There is no jobs that is equally taxing and emotionally draining than parenting in the first year”. -What to Expect The First Year-

Then, real life began.

First months of motherhood were hell.

Took care of three men, a newborn baby, and a whole house was crazy. The sleep deprived, the exhaustion were no joke.

When you thought things couldn’t be worse, that was the time it could go worse. Mbak Wi suddenly resigned after 21 years.

The Boss up there thought I could handle some more, so, on the second month, He sent the father away for A WHOLE MONTH to a secluded village. He was rarely at home because of his residency during junior years, now he was completely absent for a whole month. I was very much a single parent with a newborn, an elder carer, house caretaker, and part time teacher.

The most depressing period in the first year.

Returned to work at the second month, because having no money was scarier than the exhaustion and the strong urge to breathe properly, being away from everything at home for a while.

He being sent to secluded village and the following month would be another internship outside the main hospital meant there was no income. We were lucky that the delivery was pretty smooth, prepared the money for c-section but the baby chose the other way, zero charge for the labor, only used 1/3 from what we prepared. Maybe He knows we would need it few months later.

Neither good days or bad days stay forever.

Things got better in term of sleep deprived at three months when she finally could sleep a whole night like the science said. Those struggles and stubborness to teach her sleep every single night paid off. The routine ‘day starts before subuh and ends right after isya’ began here.

Things were better at the fourth and fifth, signed by returning to the exercise class, until feeding came at the sixth.

The second biggest homework : eating. I knew already it would be hard, but didn’t expect it would be so hard. Fruit at 5.30, breakfast at 7, lunch at 12, dinner at 17. No snack-snack club. Prepared everything from the scratch, in normal days, shift started at 4, in meal-prep day, shift started at 2. Exercise class once again given up.

Two first months of feeding was easy peasy, exploring kinds of menu was quite fun, until the texture changed. Dealing with longer meal time because she learned to chew. It was exhausting. Running out of patience was unavoidable. But, still kept showing up for three big meals plus a small one on time, everyday.

Here came another witch, her weight that seemed so stuck no matter how strict I was with the meal. So, who said your efforts wouldn’t beat the result? It would, for the short term.

There was always silver lining. Although it was hard, at least, there was no period that she wouldn’t eat. She just ate no matter how long she kept every scoop in her mouth. She ate everything that served in front of her. Some she loved, some she didn’t, but it wasn’t problem. She just tried everything. From ikan cuek to ikan lele, tumis tauge to tumis pare, oatmeal ubi to mac n chesse. Lucky she didn’t have any allergies.

In feeding, I rarely compromised in terms of schedule and food. I didn’t listen to anyone who said “maybe it doesn’t taste good”, “just feed it later on the restauran we go”. Never. She should eat at home right before anything else. Because, It was me who needed to eat at the restaurant.

In dealing with sleep and eat, other than the thought that it wouldn’t last forever, the thought of my sanity also worked. I needed to be functioned well to take care her well. So, doing the right over easy for the short term was the only way to go.

Didn’t remember when it was suddenly getting easier. Feeding hour was getting shorter and play time was longer. Morning routines (fruit, breakfast, bath) all done before 8.

Finally managed to return to the exercise class since she was sleeping right after that. Things that made me five times happier.

More rainbows after the storm, Mbak Wi also made a comeback, the doctor’s shifts were getting better, left her during my work days felt lighter because it was her nap time and the work place was only five minutes by walk. Feeding her right after work was exhausting but knowing my korean drama friends waiting at 7.30 was exciting.

Sleep well.

Eat everything.

Fully breastfeed without any supports.

Thus, in the first year, we managed to have zero medecine intake.

The first year basics accomplished.