Posted in Langit Senja, Review

Cerita DSA (di Sam Marie Basra)

Entah kenapa kok lebih susah ya nulis pake bahasa Indonesia daripada bahasa Inggris. Dari tadi bolak-balik ketik-hapus karena ngerasa aneh sendiri bacanya-__-.

Mau sedikit cerita tentang DSAnya Langit. Di Sam Marie Basra (SMB), selain dokter obgyn dan fetomaternal, ada beberapa spesialis lain seperti anak, penyakit dalam, kulit kelamin, andrologi, dan gigi. Nah, uniknya, lagi-lagi, selain Obgyn, spesialis lain di SMB itu jumlahnya maksimal dua, sepengetahuan saya terakhir kesana. Mungkin karena memang pasien yang tidak terlalu banyak jadi kebutuhannya pun juga ngga banyak.

Dokter spesialis anak di SMB pun juga hanya dua : dr. R. Lia Mulyani, SpA dan dr. Cut Badriah SpA. Dokternya Langit yang mana?

Dua-duanya:)

Waktu lahir, Langit dibantu sama dr Lia sampai kira-kira empat bulan. Beliau cukup komunikatif dan ngga buat saya takut atau males nanya, dan yang saya suka ngga cepat memutuskan untuk kasih obat, sufor atau opname.

Waktu pulang melahirkan, bilirubin Langit dalam keadaan normal, tapi ketika kontrol seminggu kemudian naik jadi 16. Liat ambil darah dan hasil tes darah itu ngga pernah menyenangkan ya.

Saya tau kalo bilirubin tinggi itu bayi harus disinar. Tapi, yang saya ngga tau adalah kalo disinar itu harus diopname, bayinya. Ibunya pulang. Liat angka segitu saya masih berpikir ‘ooh mungkin bisa disinar sebentar aja ditungguin’.

Waktu hasil tes darah menunjukan angka 16, dokter Lia bilang ini masih bisa diusahain tanpa sinar. Jemur tiap pagi, susuin sesering mungkin. Nanti beberapa hari kita liat lagi. Denger itu lega bukan main.

Di rumah, Pak dokter tiba-tiba bilang, ” Alhamdulillah ya ngga harus opname”.

Saya pun heran dan nanya balik,    ” Lho, emang kenapa harus opname?”

“Lah, kalo harus disinar ya harus opname. Bayinya aja. Ibunya ngga. Nanti kalo mau nyusu ya bisa ibunya dateng atau pake ASIP”.

Kalo tadi di dokter saya ngerasa lega bukan main, abis denger kalimat pak dokter, saya bahkan pengen peluk dr Lia. Ngga abis-abis saya bersyukur untuk keputusannya. Saya ngga kebayang harus pulang tanpa Langit. Ngebayanginnya aja bikin nangis.

Setelahnya, saya benar-benar nyusuin Langit sesering mungkin. Jam tujuh pagi udah buka pintu depan lebar-lebar. Taro Langit di ayunan rotan tanpa baju. Selama beberapa minggu, ngga ada hari yg terlewat tanpa berjemur. Saya jemur lebih lama dari yang seharusnya. Di luar itu, karena masih nyusu-tidur-nyusu-tidur, kalo Langit tidur terlalu lama saya angkat dari box dan nyusuin. Alhamdulillah, setelah beberapa hari keliatan badannya sudah ngga kuning lagi. Tapi, berjemur tetap jalan setiap hari.

Sebulan kemudian kontrol, ada lagi yang bikin patah hati. Berat badan Langit naiknya kurang. Memang keliatan kurus banget buat saya. Saya terus terang takuuut sekali kalo sampe disuruh tambah sufor. Saya ngga anti sufor, tapi, saya pengen sekali itu benar-benar jadi pilihan paling bawah dan akhir yang kalo bisa ngga kelihatan sama mata saya, sehingga saya akan ngusahain ASI saya seakan-akan ngga ada pilihan lain.

Alhamdulillahnya, Lagi-lagi dr Lia bilang, ” coba kita liat lagi dalam dua minggu ya, kalo naiknya masih sedikit mungkin harus dipertimbangkan untuk nambah (sufor). Coba lebih sering nyusunya, ibu juga diperbaiki makannya”. Lega bukan main bagian kedua. Setidaknya jawaban dia ngga menutup harapan saya.

Waktu itu, tanpa bermaksud mencari pembenaran, saya benar-benar lagi kacau sekali. Pak dokter di luar kota sebulan, dan mbak yang sudah di rumah selama 18 tahun kerja dan masakin semua yang keluarga saya makan di rumah dari makan utama sampai kue2, keluar.

Saya benar-benar kaya zombie waktu itu. Makan,tidur,istirahat ngga ada yang bener. Dan itu berlangsung selama beberapa minggu sampe saya dapet pengganti (yang jauuuhhhhh banget dalam segala hal dari yang sebelumnya). Tapi, saya ngga peduli selama bisa sedikit ringanin beban, dan Langit bisa ngejar ketinggalannya. Alhamdulillah berhasil.

Langit pindah DSA ketika empat bulan. Ini tanpa disengaja. Dokter Lia dan Dokter Cut praktek setiap hari dari Senin-Sabtu. Dr Lia praktek pagi di hari Senin, Rabu,Jumat, dan Sabtu sedangkan dr Cut hari Selasa dan Kamis. Jadwal siangnya adalah kebalikannya.Jadwal pagi jam 10.00-14.00 sedangkan jadwal siang 14.00-18.00.

Satu hari itu, ternyata mereka tukar shift dan saya ngga diberitahu sampai saya datang ke RS. Karena sudah terlanjur datang, saya pikir ngga masalah ganti dokter sekali. Toh cuma buat vaksin aja.

Pertemuan pertama sama dr Cut ternyata sangat menyenangkan. Salah satu kelebihannya adalah orangnya detil banget. Tanpa kita tanya, dia jelasin semuanya. Sebelum suntik vaksinnya dia kasih liat boxnya masih segel, tanggal kadaluarsanya, bahkan, range harganya. Suka!

Waktu itu mau vaksin PCV, dia jelaskan dulu kalo ada dua jenis, PCV 10 dan 13, yang mana jelas yang 13 lebih lengkap dan tentunya lebih mahal. Beliau tidak memaksakan harus yang 13, tetapi menyarankan kalo memang sudah dibudgetkan khusus vaksin, sebaiknya ambil yang lengkap. Soal ini saya setuju. Sama2 vaksin, sama2 sakit disuntik, kalo bisa kasih yang lebih baik, kenapa ngga. Uangnya bisa dicari.

Selain itu, beliau juga ngga pernah lupa sesuatu yang buat saya penting, yang belakangan saya tau kalo ngga semua DSA melakukan ini. Apa itu? Memplot berat dan tinggi badan plus ukuran lingkar kepala ke kurva pertumbuhan bayi. Di kurva itu, tergambar dengan jelas apakah Langit tetap dalam batas gizi baik atau ada yang harus diperbaiki. Makanya,menurut saya ini penting buat dilakukan oleh DSA.

Mungkin ternyata memang jalannya harus pindah ke dr Cut karena bulan berikutnya saya nambah jam kerja yang mana harinya bentrok dengan jadwal praktek pagi dr Lia. Saya ngga pernah kontrol siang dan hari Sabtu. Ngga ada yang nemenin karena saya nyetir harus ada yang gendong Langit.

Alhamdulillah sejauh ini semuanya oke sama dr Cut. On time, ngga buru-buru, sangat informatif, dan kebetulan, pak dokter kenal juga karena beberapa kali pernah baksos bareng pas masih S1 dan dr Cut masih jadi residen. Bahkan, pak dokter semangat banget cerita kl dr Cut ini salah satu residen yang aktif banget ikut baksos dan ngga pernah mau dibayar. Oya, selain sebagai DSA, dr Cut juga duduk di managerial SMB, kalo saya ngga salah sebagai direktur pelayanan. Ditilik dari namanya pun kemungkinan masih familinya Prof Jacoeb ya jadi wajar kalo beliau juga menjabat di managerial.

Salah satu hal yang paling saya syukuri selama hampir setahun ini, Langit hanya datang ke DSA ketika jadwal vaksinnya. Alhamdulillah selama ini selalu sehat, dan belum pernah ngerasain ngga enaknya obat dan itu ngga lepas dari peran DSAnya. Semoga selalu sehat dan kebaikan DSAnya dibalas oleh Allah.

Semoga ini bisa membantu kalo ada yang perlu DSA di sekitar jakarta timur. Kalo saya ditanya orang, lebih pilih yang mana, saya akan jawab,

“Cuma ada dua, praktek tiap hari. Kenapa ngga coba dua-duanya dan putusin  mana yang cocok dengan ibu dan anaknya?”

Sepatu saya belum tentu pas di kaki orang lain kan ya?:)

Posted in The Big Three

Books Adventure

I used to read and buy lots of books. Bookstore had been my favorite place to go and to spend my money since I was little. Well, I am still little now, but also older.

My reading adventure began at the third grade of elementary. My first love was Girl Talk which I borrowed from a friend. I fell in love in an instant with Sabrina, Katie, Randy, and Allison. I felt like having new (imaginary) bestfriends and a whole playground for my self.

After one book, I went to the bookstore to buy the next series. For few years, I was religiously waiting its next books. The excitement of visiting bookstore and saw the newest serial was there were one of the happiest childhood memories.

Along with Girl Talk, also came several serials like The Babysitter Club, Sweet Valley Kids-High. Enid Blyton serials were a must read too. From Malory Towers, The Twins who went to girls boarding school which I forgot the title, and The Naughty Girl. Oh! Just googled it. It was St Claire’s, the school of the twins.

Little House series were on my favorite lists too. I had complete sets of it. From the first book until the last. I treasured this one a lot. Only few I think who read this one. If you went to the bookstore, you wouldn’t find it easily unless you really looked for it.

Went up to junior high school, my aunt introduced me to Agatha Christie’s. My first encountered was with And Then There Were None and I fell in love once again. I started reading other Agatha Christie books my aunt had. Amongst my favorite were The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, Crooked House, and of course the last case of Hercule Poirot, Curtain.

After Agatha Christie’s, I stopped buying new books since I didn’t find any books which captured my interest. Then, Harry Potter came on my senior high school years. It felt so great to be back. Reading a new good book and the best part was it had few series so it gave me something to be waited for. I collected all Harry Potter series both English and Indonesian versions.

It was on the second year of high school when I first met le husband and book was the first thing we had in common. Mine and his were totally different. His were those books which I found not interesting, well, at first. He introduced me to Ayu Utami’s Saman and Larung and Pramoedya’s Bumi Manusia series. I liked the latter much better. Ayu Utami wasn’t and will never be my favorite. I was never into it, although I couldn’t say I liked Pramoedya’s much too. Those were not my cup of tea. But, since he insisted, I had all those four books. The power of liking someone. Hahaha.

During my college years, Dee Lestari’s Supernova came. Although it was already available since my high school years and le husband had already suggested me reading it. But, after his suggestions on Ayu Utami’s and Pramoedya, I prefered not following. Sorry, Yobo.

I didn’t start Dee’s with the first one. I fell in love first with her third one, Petir. Elektra was my favorite character. Then, I red Akar and Ksatria, Putri, dan Bintang Jatuh. I didn’t all Dee’s book. Other than Supernova, I like her Perahu Kertas better.

After Dee’s, I met Ika Natassa’s. Again, it wasn’t the first book also, but her second, Divortiare. I loved Divortiare. It was fun, witty, and very-well written. I also read other books from her but nothing impressed me much. I haven’t checked her newest one, Critical Eleven.

This one is my last favorite but obviously not the least, Ilana Tan. I love her season series very very much. Summer in Seoul, Autumn in Paris, Winter in Tokyo, and Spring in London, I had all those four. Once again, I didn’t start with the first one but the second one. To be honest, this Ilana Tan’s series deserves another post about this. Maybe later. She just released a new book, Once in a Blue Moon and I haven’t read it.

Other than those ones above, I read several good books such Tony Parsons’, Little Women series, Laskar Pelangi Tetralogy and several books without series. I really love book series. That is also why I prefer dramas than movies.

Book series and dramas give me something to be waited for. It give me a chance to learn from characters intensely and slowly. You begin develop feeling for something or someone when you have daily or regular encounter with them. Then you’re getting engaged and after sometime you may married to the characters without you realize it

Along the journey, it enriches your minds, gives joy to your soul, and once you fall, the good ones stay in your heart forever.

May the good books always be with us. 

Posted in Langit Senja, Maternité

MPASI Updates 2

Here are some of updates of Langit’s eating experiences after five months starting her first food :

1. Eating is went well, alhamdulillah. Not easy at all, but still manageable.

2.  Eating Rules are still applicable. All those five rules are truly my principle of bearable feeding.

3. Langit has been mostly eating what the adults eat for the last two months. Only the texture needs a little bit adjustment.

4. Her food is nothing fancy like Salmon or any expensive ingredients. She eats what is available. Meat, chicken, any kind of fish like bandeng, tongkol, tuna, kakap, gurame, nila, even cuek. Yes, you read it right, ikan cuek. All is good.

5. Tofu or tahu is almost always available and be present in everyday meal at least once.

6. Compulsory fruit is Avocado. Given between breakfast and lunch. The other fruits are replacable such as mango, papaya, melon. Those are given together during breakfast before she eats her main course.

7. The last meal the day is flexible. It’s either fish tofu porridge, macaroni chicken cheese, or sweet potato oatmeal. Usually, it comes with a glass of orange squash if it is available.

8. I don’t do BLW. Almost never.

9. Glad no allergic signs appears until now.

10. My patience has been so much upgraded.

Keep fighting!

Posted in Langit Senja

The Eleventh, Thirtieth, and Thirty-first

It’s one special post since I’m combining three numbers in one post.

Le husband and I share the same month for our birthday by five days interval. By next week insya Allah, I’ll turn 31, the following week le husband will turn 30 and the little baby will be eleven months old.

Langit has been improving a lot since last month. Crawling faster, grabbing and throwing things, and she started eager learning to walk. She is also getting engaged to her toys and exploring it. She actually has only few toys since I am pretty petty when it comes to toys, beside I am lazy. Lazy to tidy it up when she finishes playing.

In speaking, she still hasn’t uttered any words, but she is making more and more (funny) sounds. But, she has already recognized when someone call her name, she will directly turn her head.

Something concern me lately about Langit’s first birthday. Honestly, I am not really into a birthday party. More, a birthday party like those which I often see on the internet. I have several reasons to not to do it.

First, I am not sure whether I can prepare it alone. I won’t expect anyone else to help me even le husband since his schedule is pretty uncertain and tight. Then, others can say, just hire some people to help. Who? The party planner? That will become my second reason, we have no enough budget for this.

The third reason, there’s almost no other babies and kids to be invited other than two babies cousins from my sister and le husband’s brother. So, what’s the point of having a children party when the babies even don’t get it.

Instead, I intend to take others to have lunch out to a good restaurant. It is especially dedicated to those who have been so much help along this first tough year. We three won’t be able to make this far and this good if it is not because of others’ help. So, I want to sincerely say thank you, although merely a lunch will never be able to repay all those kindness we receive.

Well, let see whether my intention will work according to my plan.

For now, Happy eleven months, baby-kun! I love you big time:*

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See how sok tau this baby, climbing, grabbing, while squatting
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Eatung styles from the beginning until the end
Posted in Past learning, The Big Three

A Home, Once Upon A Time

I can’t help writing this right after accidentally found an old photo on Instagram. It was taken five years ago. An old photo of me and my students back when I was teaching at my first school.

I always love teaching. Spesifically, teaching high-grader elementary students. Why? My best chemistry is with those between 4-6 graders.

After graduated, I knew where I wanted to work. Long before graduated, I always wanted to work at an Islamic school. A modern one where English is widely used but still keep its religious environment. I had pictured my self being a teacher at that kind of school for a very long time.

But, I didn’t get right after I got my bachelor certificate. I was pushed to apply for a real office job. For my parents at that time, working at school is not a real job. I was accepted few times at several real office ( I use the term real office to emphasize it), but it just never felt right. I just felt I really didn’t belong there at all. That was why, beside those real office applications I sent, I secretly sent few others to the schools that I found suitable with my dream.

It was already the seventh month after I graduated and still hadn’t installed in any real offices nor schools. I didn’t remember how many applications that I had sent, interviews, but still, it wasn’t for me yet.

Until one friday afternoon, I saw the advertisement on newspaper telling about an Islamic school looking for teachers. When I saw the location, the distance was pretty near from home. I rarely sent hardcopy applications since it took time and more efforts to go to post it. But, that one, without really knowing why, I did send it by post on the next day.

Maybe that was what you call jodoh. I sent my application on Saturday morning, I was phoned by the school on Monday, asking for doing paper test. Thus, I came. The next day, another phone call from the school, asking me for an interview with school psychologist. I came once again. It didn’t stopped there, the very next day they asked me to come again to have an interview with the principal. It was going smooth. Somehow, at that point, I really couldn’t believe that I kept going for three days in a row as if nothing stopped me to be here. Thursday was no call. And, Friday, finally there was one once more asking to do an interview with the school director. The final interview about salary negotiation. Then, that was it. Both parties agreed. I really got the job that I really wanted only within a week.

Believe it or not, I didn’t tell my parents about this until I really made it. I had come so far following their request to apply to those real offices. This one and this time, I couldn’t let go when it just already in front of my eyes and it was real.

I started working the next Monday. Who says if you are doing what you love every work will feel easy? It wasn’t for me. It took me sometime until I could get used with the school work and environment. Working at school wasn’t merely about teaching. We had to do other things such class administration, class decoration, etc , which I found not too pleasant. Haha.

After sometimes, I started enjoying my time. It slowly become and felt like home for me. I got my spirit every morning knowing I’ll meet the students, teaching, and other things. Alhamdulillah, I also got a great partner.

What hasn’t been written here is, I was freshly broken-hearted at the same time. A severe one, which I won’t put it here since it is another very long story.

Coming to this school was surely one way to overcome that pain. My students kept me busy and they were ones that really made my days. As a six grade teacher, I often had to stay late because of additional time for several students, which I didn’t really mind at all. The less I spent at home, the better. I cried too much if I stayed at home.

I had my french course every Tuesday and Friday evening which made me stay late more at school. On that two days, I didn’t leave the school until 5.15 pm where everyone was almost left. I stayed in my class browsing, or simply resting on the carpet.I did shower, prayed, made a glass of tea, then I left. It felt truly like I went to the french course from home. It was a very long day to go, but you know, it wasn’t hard at all. I felt so full and happy.

I went to several field trips with my students. Again, although that was pretty exhausting, but I felt happy. Lots of good things happened there. Like I was once chosen as one of the most favorite teacher by my students. I had my pictured displayed and got money prize. It wasn’t much but it meant a lot and it stayed for a very long time on my good memories shelf.

I remembered one day when the national exam result was out. It was a bright day and my heart was so warm reading all those result. Even warmer when my subject got the highest among three. It felt all the hard works was paid-off very well.

My students were funny, nice and easy to get along with. We conversed like we were bestfriends. Especially for the boys. They said I looked too young to be their teacher. I thanked them for such compliment;))

Other thing beside compliments that I few times received there were marriage proposals. Hahaha, it was confusing yet, somehow made me laugh. I was an ordinary one, not socializing a lot, but surprisingly noticable, hehe. More than that, how did they know I had just broken up?;))

Maybe the happiness felt there was conveyed through my body language. Since I felt happy, I also felt pretty and it happened that others saw it too since I often heard people said that. Yeah, who wouldn’t be happy to receive those compliments saying that you were pretty?;)

I stayed there for 2,5 years before I quitted to continue master degree abroad. I had those great time as I imagined before. I healed my broken-heart almost completely thanks to that school. I found comfort that I didn’t find at home during those hard times.

One that gives you comfort, shouldn’t be it called…

Home?

Yes, it should.

Posted in The Big Three

Introverted Parenting

Few days ago, I found an article about Introverted parenting which I found very interesting.

Why? It described me so well.

To be brutally honest, for these 10 months, I might be very far from what one called a good mother. I don’t play with Langit a lot, sometimes being angry to her, mostly let her playing alone by herself. I rarely take her to baby’s friendly places. Instead, I (had to) take her to places where I had some bussiness to be taken care of like went to the SAMSAT office to pay the cars’ taxes or to car service and repair shop to pick up my car or else she had just stayed at home.

I am also selfish. I don’t like messy schedule simply because it will disturb my resting time. I am doing almost every single thing about Langit’s daily needs except washing her clothes. Apart from breastfeeding, I am doing all the stuff from cooking, feeding, bathing as well as its pre and post bathing, playing, tidying up, washing her feeding utensils, even taking her to the doctor, I go without le husband, every months. Shortly, I am taking care all of it (almost) alone.

To add many more things I have to do at home, I also take care of mostly all stuff at home. Taking care other three men my father, brother, and of course le husband. Preparing breakfast, snack boxes, dinner, sometimes lunch, grocery and monthly shopping, go to the marketplace, paying the household bills, you can continue adding the lists.

That is why I am very strict about schedule. With those stuffs to be done everyday, when will I have my rest if I don’t have precise time management? I am working part time three days a week where the schedule has to be even more punctual.

I need my me-time everyday. When I am currently writing this post, I have done all of morning duties and Langit is sleeping. Beside writing, my favorite thing is of course watching my friends koreans on the laptop. I have to have it everyday to keep me staying sane after doing all the chores.

My me-time is the time I spend leisurely at home. I don’t consider going out as me-time because it gives me more things to do, especially when Langit is going too. Mothers will know how ‘simple’ it is to go out with a baby.

Back to the article, it said :

This seems to me the most important thing about introverted parenting: respecting your need to have time to yourself, even if you’re in the same room with your kid, and finding creative ways to do so. Having a few of those moments—whether you’re literally alone or not—make it possible to be fully present for your child the rest of the day.

One big savior for us? Television. I know: plenty of parents, armed by scientific studies, are against giving too much (or any at all) screen time to little kids. But Felix needs opportunities to zone out, whether it’s with a book or in front of the screen. When he was a toddler, I’d get to the point reading aloud when both my voice and will to live would start to fade, so I began allowing short stretches of TV time. Today, it’s a cherished part of his routine. He has about forty minutes on a school day, once he’s done his homework and before dinner, to watch TV. On the weekends, my wife and I join him for afternoon movies. Afterward, he’s refreshed and ready to rejoin the social world, usually with a minimum of whining.

Okay, so spending time with your child is one thing, but what happens when other parents get thrown into the mix? When your child is still a baby, you don’t have to worry about unwanted socializing because the play dates at that point are mostly for the adults. If you don’t want to have them, then don’t.

Things change when your child grows old enough to show an interest in other kids and making friends. At that point, you have to suck it up, though you can still socialize on your terms.

I know parents who enjoy long, unstructured hangouts where everyone flits from activity to activity and space to space. They might meet at the playground, mosey down to the nearest ice cream parlor to grab a treat, and finally move to someone’s house, gabbing all the way. That kind of socializing is not for me. It’s never been for me! I can make small talk for a while and have deeper talks about life, love, and literature for even longer, but at some point I need to escape.

Felix seems to have the same tendency. He loves playing with other kids for a little bit. Then his attention flags, and he becomes less playful and more rough. A moment of frustration might lead to him stomping his block tower. Or he may sit on my lap and show more interest in hanging out with the adults than the kids. These are all clear signs that he’s reached his social limit and requires a calm space to himself to re-energize. Of course, being five years old, he doesn’t recognize that or want to acknowledge it, so I offer him an incentive to coax him home—a snack, a special activity, or a favorite TV show.

When scheduling play dates, I let the other parents know not just when we’re coming but also when we’re likely to leave so that we don’t overextend ourselves. I don’t feel ashamed about setting an endpoint—there’s nothing wrong with being an introvert!—it’s what works best for us. I make that clear to my parenting friends. “We’d love to come over for lunch,” I’ll say. “And we’ll probably get going around two or so, so we can get home for a rest.”

When we invite friends over, we tend to do it around meal times so that there’s a clear end point. After dinner, you’ve got to go! Honestly, though, we don’t often host play dates at our place because we find them generally tiring. Besides, if one parent takes Felix to someone else’s house for a play date, then the other parent gets time alone at home, which can’t happen when our home is invaded!

Like doing anything as a parent, being an introvert requires a bit more effort and intention on your part since you’re not just managing your child’s proclivities but balancing them with your own as well. My wife and I consider ourselves fortunate that Felix’s energy matches ours, partly because we’re able to understand his needs but also because we’re not often at odds—socializing-wise, anyway. (Like all parents and children everywhere, we have our issues!)

When Felix feels exhausted from a long day in school or even just a short play date with a friend, there’s a warm kind of understanding that passes between us. I don’t push him to get out of his shell more or criticize him when he says he’s tired and requires some cuddling and “spacing out.” I know where he’s coming from because I need it too.

Sooo amazing how this father describes everything. I feel youuu.

respecting your need to have time to yourself, even if you’re in the same room with your kid.

Agree!

One big savior for us? Television.

Agree! But for us, it is youtube. We don’t watch TV at home. Almost never. It is 24 hours off.

you don’t have to worry about unwanted socializing because the play dates at that point are mostly for the adults. If you don’t want to have them, then don’t.

This is truly me. I don’t find playdates suit me and necessary, for current time.

That kind of socializing is not for me. It’s never been for me! I can make small talk for a while and have deeper talks about life, love, and literature for even longer, but at some point I need to escape.

How can he describe me that well?

When we invite friends over, we tend to do it around meal times so that there’s a clear end point. After dinner, you’ve got to go! Honestly, though, we don’t often host play dates at our place because we find them generally tiring. Besides, if one parent takes Felix to someone else’s house for a play date, then the other parent gets time alone at home, which can’t happen when our home is invaded!

So much brutal honesty in this paragraph until I can’t choose it because every word means truth.

After dinner, you’ve got to go? YES!

Host playdates rarely because it’s tiring? I’M WITH YOU. Beside, sometimes guests make me uncomfortable. They take my resting time if they stay too long.

Last one, luckily, as I have been observing lately, Langit seems to be the same like us, or me? She doesn’t really like going out. Only until certain time is beaable for her. At home, she also likes playing by herself. It seems that we understand each other. At least it is for me and her. She tends to be more eager when she meets her father. It’s very okay with me, but not always ok for le husband. Haha.

This is not something that I write to be proud of. But, this what works best for me. I just hope it doesn’t make Langit misses what is important by being an introvert mother. That is why I keep myself updated by reading lots of stuff.

I love this sentence as a closing :

Like all parents and children everywhere, we have our issues!

Yes, we have!

Posted in The Big Three

The Eids

We’re going to celebrate Eid al-adha tomorrow. So, today we are having Arafah fasting as the pilgrims are doing Wukuf.

The Eids always bring some warm and happy feeling. Although it’s getting less and less happier as I grow older, but yet, it is still here. I had a very good memories about Eids. Back in childhood, eid meant new clothes, towel, mukena, bed sheet, even underwears. Those were coming in such lovely scent, the scent of my mum cupboard.

Also it meant Eid cookies too. When my mum was still here, we had five compulsory cookies that should be present for Eid, especially Eid Al-fitri, and another cake. Those five were chocolate chip, kaastengel, almond cookies, sagu keju, and nastar. All was home made cookies. For the cake, it has been always a black forest.

Both those Eids were also a-cleaning-up-the house mood booster. As the Eids were approaching, the house started being cleaned up. Although it was the same house, I loved the house 100 times better during the night of Eids. It was clean, tidy, and so lovely.

I really hope to be able to give Langit the same experience as I had. I really had perfect childhood Ramadhan and Eids memories. They were the best days of the year. Much better than a birthday.

More than any gifts that you received, happy memories will last for a lifetime. It gives you strength to keep going and surviving the bad times.

Happy Eid al-adha!

Posted in Places, Travel

About travel souvenirs

Last week, brother-in-law came home from Manchester after pursuing master degree there. So we came to her wife parents house to say hello. He gave me a souvenir plate from Liverpool.

When I told le husband asked him why brother didn’t bring any chocolate or english biscuits or tea from Harrods, or scottish short bread, or something similar but a souvenir plate instead? Then le husand answered,

” oh, he gave you that? No wonder, he really loved that kind of souvenir, he bought it from every places he visited.”

The answer made me realize something. People will give to others something that they really love. At least, they will spend their money on something that they like. It goes same for me.

For me, that something is food.

My family has been eating home food most of the time. My mother is one of the best cook I’ve ever known. She almost could cook everything, deliciously. We take eating seriously. She was the one who introduced us to wide varities of food taste.

When we traveled we tried so many local foods. And when it comes to gifts, we surely gave kind of food to our grandma, aunties, and others.

My mum once brought six different kind of cheese when she came back from short course in Bretagne. She also brought tuna can in several different cute cans. When I was studying abroad, during my holiday and visited home, all that my family told me to bring home wad food. My mom asked me to bring five packs of five different flavor of White Town Coffee, Biscuits, Yoghurt, Garlic Spread, etc. The most epic one was, I brought three plastic full of indian curry with its roti canai. Yes, we were that passionate about food.

So, it makes sense that sometimes souvenirs are useless from the point of view of the receiver. Because they might not like what they receive. My sister almost never use the souvenirs that her mother in law gave her, which are clothes, which I also found it unwearable. Simply because it doesn’t fit her at all. The style, colour, pattern. Well, hm, a bit old and cheesy?;))

That is why food is always the safest choices. Who would throw away a box of good chocolate or a box of delicious cookies? And why Idul Fitri hampers mostly come with food? Because food is something we can share with everyone at home. Everyone can enjoyn it together. While we can’t do that with other things.

Good food is always comforting and makes everyone happy. Do you know that the taste of food is the best memory keeper? That is why people always seek the food that reminds them of their childhood. Of course, the happy one.

So, if someone goes somewhere and ask me what to bring home, my answer has always been the same.

I enjoy eating good food:)

Posted in Langit Senja

The Tenth Month

It’s really amazing if I look back and compare how Langit has been growing along these ten months.
From tiny little baby who was merely sleeping and having herself breastfeed every two hours, she turns into a big baby girl who now is able crawling fast, standing firmly, even take one or two steps, and so many things that I couldn’t imagine she can do.

Currently, she is enjoying playing all by herself on her play yard. Especially with the books I put near the play yard. She is able to take it within her reach. I intentionally didn’t put the book inside so she can take it off from the book box to train her motoric skills. She also has been better and better in climbing. She is able to crawl to the stairs from the floor using her knees. Really, isn’t amazing how tiny baby could think such way without anyone taught her?

Happy tenth month, dear. Have I told you I love you beyond words?

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Grumpy face
Posted in Langit Senja, Maternité

About feeding

Lately, half of my energy went to this thing called feeding. For this one thing, I had to give up several things so I could concentrate about this. Things I really like such having an aerobic exercise on Thursday, just because it didn’t go well with this feeding schedule.

Comparing to other moms stories, maybe Langit is slightly better since she almost never refuse the food that I serve for her. I remembered few of that she refused back then, but never directly refused. She would try some until she couldn’t take it. Another good thing is she rarely doesn’t finish her plate. For this one, I also really push and insist to finish what have been served until the last spoon.

BUUUTTT, all that is not easy. I have to think 1001 ways to make it. That is why I think, beside love and war, all is fair too in feeding a baby.

What I don’t mostly like about feeding because it is messy, and emotionally draining. During feeding, I also did some works like picked up every small rice that fell on the floor. I hated the way the rice would stick in the feet when others stepped on it. Only ones that fell on the floor?

Not.

I also cleaned those left on the chair, on the toys, on everything that we used during the feeding.
Other than that, I also did singing, playing kastanyet, tamborine, and any possible things that could keep her on her seat. It has been harder lately since she started learning to walk. So, she pushed me to take her out of her seat and move her either to the floor or stand up while holding on my sitting body.

No wonder I always feel so exhausted once the feeding is finished -___-.

But then, no matter how hard it takes, I will still do it every single day. Why? Because I consider it as one of the three most important things that my child deserves from her parents. As stated on my previous post, I believe that good nutrition, health, and education are the three things that every parents should give to the children in order to let them live well, not only for current being, also for long-term. So, those three things become the major reason why we have to work hard.

It makes me also become inflexible when it comes to feeding. Inflexible means I don’t allow others to take it lightly like saying Langit didn’t like the food or she had enough when seeing her being a bit cranky while eating. Or else when we wanted to go somewhere, it had to be done according to her meal time. No such thing like we went first, or she could eat later once we arrived at our destination.

Sorry, it is a BIG NO.

Better being late or cancel it than going without she finished her meal. I won’t deal with feeding when we were out.

On her 10 months to be, she has three big meals a day, breakfast, lunch, and early dinner. She has also fruit snacks between breakfast and lunch and sometimes after dinner or altogether with dinner. So, practically, I have this feeding battle at the very least three times a day.

What makes it paid-well is when the result of those hard work show through her good health and when those people acknowledge it when they see her. That is good enough for me.

Well, hopefully, we can continue doing well. Amin.

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