I just red tweets about a new mum giving her newborn other milk than breast-milk and how it made her being judged by her surroundings. Some said that she was lazy or anything. The other day, I saw a post in Instagram about a mum telling her delivery story through c-sect. She had prepared from the very start to have vaginal birth and had done many things to have it. But, in the end, she had to do c-sect instead. Then, a comment came to her account teasing about her having c-sect in the end.
Sometimes, people are really cruel. Indeed.
Long before Langit came, I have read so many articles on debating vaginal birth and c-sect,breast milk and cow-milk. How people (ibu-ibu mostly) are very judgemental towards a new mom. It said that vaginal birth is better and after that they continue judging you about how you breast-feed the baby.
When I knew I was pregnant, believe it or not, it was le husband who came up with the idea of me giving birth through c-sect. Just because I am petite and my hips really seems too small. It became more clear after seeing the blood-test result stating that I had high d-dimer. It had something to do with blood coagulation and it led to c-sect too. Not enough with those two, Langit’s position until 7 months still was not good enough to do vaginal birth. So, c-sect seemed to be my only way out.
Then about breast milk, in my family, we are all the product of formula. Me and my siblings. My aunt told me often that my grandma,my mum and her didn’t produce any breast-milk at all. So often till I was really sure that I would have the same thing too.
So, I was so ready to be judged since I would give birth through c-sect and gave the baby formula after that.
But, as the due was nearer, I was re-thinking about both of things. Instead of c-sect, why couldn’t be vaginal birth if everything was fine and possible? Mostly because I felt healthy enough and still could do things at home, and outside. I even still went to the market when I was 9 month pregnant.
I kept performing real sujud in my salat because the doc said it helped fixing the baby’s position. In my salat, I prayed hard,not asking to have vaginal birth, but may Allah chose the best way for me and the baby. As long as both of us were fine, it would be ok. Eventough I was sure that deep down inside Allah knew which one I preferred, for so many reasons.
I didn’t join any pregnancy yoga or something similar at all. I even didn’t spare time to take a walk like most pregnant women did, as I often saw with their husband. Simply because I had no time and it was hard for me to do it. My excercises were just at home. Doing all the houseworks, here and there. Just that. So, if people asked me how could my normal delivery was so fast, it might be because of that. One of the reasons.
About breast-milk, in spite of things that my aunt kept telling me, I also kept trying any possible way known so I could produce the milk later. I ate daun katuk few times in a month and other vegetables, consume vitamins, honey and habbatussaudah. If later it won’t succeed, at least I had try before.
In fact, all those two major judgmental things didn’t happen at all. Allah allowed me to do vaginal birth, even with a bonus, without long-bearing pain. 6 hours only. Not enough, my breast milk was flowing from the very first day. So, until today, Langit only consume breast-milk. Alhamdulilah.
But, is that true that vaginal birth and breast milk are really without pain? NO. Big NO.
I had many stiches since it took sometime till I succeed to push her out. It was soooo hurt. Even days after that. I walked slowly and sleep untightly. I was afraid to do number two for days. I had to sit above a thick cover whether it was blanket,sajadah or a pillow. Whether sitting or standing, it hurt. After a week, it was getting better.
It is true that breast-milk has many advantages for the baby and also for the mum. But it doesn’t come easily. On the second day after delivery, my breasts largened as a result of non-stop breast-feeding. The nipples were so hurt. I cried once since I had to bear more pain. In my bottom and my breasts. Double pain.
So, it is either vaginal birth or c-sect and breast milk or cow-milk, each have its own pain and I think all mothers surely want their baby to get all the best from her.
In a jungle called motherhood, I will be trying hard to survive.
A Penny for My Pensieve 