The Big Three – Page 2 – A Penny for My Pensieve

Some thoughts behind the arrival of a new baby girl

Posted on 24 Jun 201515 Aug 2015 by arlanadya

Little sister was giving birth to a baby girl last Monday. Her water broke during subuh and taken to the hospital directly. But, unfortunately, in the end, she had to go through c-section since her vagina was only dilated for 4 cm after induction while the water had been broken for hours.

Looking back through the process, comparing what I had been going through and what my sister had, it made me think. A lot.

We might being raised by the same parents at the same house, still we grow up differently. We see the world with an absolute different angle. With all those differences, I am not saying who is better than the other, but it is also obvious that we are given different things to go through.

During pregnancy, I never bought things unnecessarily. Nothing about being stingy, but baby stuffs are surely pricey while we were not on the term that we could spend lavishly. But, maybe, even when I really had the money, I still would not do that.

I am never into things. But, I wouldn’t compromise health. That was why I sticked to Prof for my obgyn even though it was pretty expensive, with all those tests and everything, I paid it all without (much) hesitation. Paid it without insurance.

Me and le husband also had prepared the money just in case we had to go through c-section. I really remembered how it made me pretty worry if I really had to. Even I would do it as long as both me and the baby were fine, but still, it costed a lot.

While little sis had her company as well as her husband company to cover all those obgyn visits fees and all the tests. She shopped a lot. For me, it was a lot. She even still went to mothercare on Sunday evening although she had visited that store several times within a month. I really adore her determination if it is about shopping -___-.

It is quite true the saying ‘it doesn’t matter how you start, it only matters how you end’. I was diagnosed with blood coagulation, had been hospitalized because of little blood on the sixth month, really had to cut teaching hours a lot (which also means cutting the salary), the baby wasn’t in the correct position to have vaginal birth until the end of the eight-month, and so many more. While little sis was going through pretty easy pregnancy. Even the baby’s head was already down from the seventh month.

In the end, the reality was absolutely different. Me, with all of those cases, was giving birth through vaginal birth, within only 6 hours after admitted to the hospital. I even didn’t dare to hope that high.

Arrived at the hospital 1.30 pm, it was already 3 cm. By 3.30, it was 4 cm. By 5 pm it was 7 cm, the water broke 30 minutes later and when it was Maghrib it was all completed and ready for the main show. By 7.30, Langit came.

To add others luck we had, that day, it was totally free. We didn’t pay any single rupiahs for that day. It was written all zero. When I saw the bill with my eyes, really, Allah’s help is surely always near.

Still, it didn’t stop there. As if knowing that I didn’t shop much, Langit’s presents felt like never stopped coming. Until I have to declutter it. It was still coming even after 5 months. Subhanallah. I couldn’ stand too many unused things so I gave it to others who also needed for their baby for free. Hopefully, later Langit will also do this. It is not how much we have, it is how much we give that makes all the difference.

Is it all truly a pure luck? Nope. I don’t believe there is a pure luck. For everything.

I have never had it easy almost in everything in my life, so I needed to try, work, and pray harder. Really hard until I had in mind that if things that I want really happen, it is surely a miracle. It turns out, those miracles are truly exist. Until today.

If later the situation changes, life is getting better, I really hope this habit stays. Patience, hard work, and sincere prays will never be wasted.

Trials and hardships are probably just some ways for us to see how far can we go, how strong we could bear, and how much we believe in there always be The One that never sleeps and give something more than we could handle.

Life at 20 vs 30

Posted on 15 May 201526 Sep 2015 by arlanadya

On sleeping :
20s
– Wake up when adzan heard from the mosque everyday.
– sleep in almost every spare time, on bed, on the sofa, on the floor while watching TV, in the bus all the way to Bogor, right after arrived at grandma’s home. Everywhere. Seemed like I was living for sleep.

30
– Wake up so early in the morning or whenever Langit cries or even before fall asleep at all or wake up all day. Almost all day.
– Sleep when every work or house works have been done and only on the sofa. Bed is only for night sleeping. No bed during the day.

On money
20
– Buy everything anytime I need without having so much thought. Surely there was budget too, but a very flexible one.
– Saving was 70% from salary. I had already had monthly salary since I was 19 right after started teaching at Yamaha.
– Had several bank accounts for different purpose: daily and monthly needs, Hajj and Europe, and pure saving only.

30
– First three months : jobless as well as totally incomeless. Live by eating the savings.
– Thinking not only twice or thrice to buy something, even for small thing?throughout the weeks or months. The result maybe bought or not at all:))
– Pretty tight budgeting. Langit’s vaccine always come first. Weekend budget is very much depends on Langit’s vaccine price or other compulsory needs. Then the second is le husband’s school. Me? I don’t remember when was the last time I spend money loosely for something that only for me.
– Keep maintaining several bank accounts for different purposes, mine and le husband’s

On work

20
– Earlier years was enjoying studying while being a part time lecturer, and a piano teacher at the same time till graduated.
– After that, enjoyed working 7 days a week at three different places. Though it was tiring sometimes, but I remembered how I enjoyed teaching at school, teaching piano at music school, and private teaching a belgian expat on Sunday.
– Time, distance, salary, never be a consideration. As long as it was good, I went for it.

And, I was and never will be into career. So what I had and have been doing is working.

– First thing first : location. Only accept one which maximum 10km distance from home and easily reached by car or public transportation.
– Second : time. Part time only. 8-11. Or 12. No longer than that.

After Langit came, no matter where, every places seemed so far. Even that 5-minutes-walking-distance music school. That is why I dropped one at school. Pretty sad but that is really fine. Glad that I decided to drop it.

On dream

20
– Big three dreams during 20s were : Hajj, Master degree abroad, Eurotrip solo travelling, all before marriage.
– Achieved the first at 28, the second at 27, while the third failed. Maybe God saves it for later. Amin.

30
– I am almost done with my self except for Europe. But, I won’t mind going with this little family especially with Langit. Maybe it will be so much happier if I have ones to share the happiness of being in the places that I have been dreaming for such a long time. Paris, Barcelona, and any cities in Italy.

20s was surely more carefree, no bill, spent only, low responsibility, and the world seemed to be so kind (at least for me). Then, eventhough I am just only being in my early 30, but the things are pretty much more harder, with so many responsibilities, concerns, consideration, and it will be hard to bear a consequence of having even for a small mistake.

So, kids, if you read this someday, use your 20s well. Work hard, dream high, make it happen, travel far, be tough and you will be very ready to embrace your 30s.

Hopefully, I and your father have enough time to see all those great things happen to you. We surely will work hard to help you with that. When it’s time to stand on your own feet, I hope you will stand firmly. Amin.

The Big Three

Start small and slow

Posted on 13 Apr 201526 Sep 2015 by arlanadya

One day maybe Langit really needs to know her parents’ situation when she was born. So, cipi-kun, read this one day,ok?

We (finally) married in the end of 2012 after 10 long and full of drama years. Lets save the drama stories for another time.

Le husband enrolled residency just two weeks before the wedding. It was Nov,30th when the result was out. The very same day when mum left. I was glad that I was able to tell her before she went that le husband really made it after failed in his first attempt.

The next two weeks were the most least-courage days in my life. It was so gloomy preparing your wedding and the tahlil at the same time. In two weeks, this home set up the tent twice. First, a tent with bendera kuning and two weeks later a tent with janur kuning.
So,the wedding was on like mum wanted it to be. Lets once again save the wedding day story later.

We had no honey-moon since le husband was so busy with his school. At that time, I also just returned from Hajj and just finished my master in Malaysia. We kinda took turn in enrolling school. So, when we first married both of us were basically jobless. I had my music school work, but we could consider it none since I was on leave for Hajj and the wedding. On leave means no income. If I looked back, it was so risky and nekat, I would say.

But then, we really must believe that you will never be alone as long as you ask. Allah’s maths was nothing like human’s. He truly provided everything that we needed from every possible ways that we never even thought about it.

When I was worried how we could afford our monthly expenses and other bills then He solved it merely through a phone-call asked me to add my teaching days. Another blissful thing is the workplace is just 5 minutes walking distance from home. It is such great luxury.

We decided to postpone of having baby until le husband finished his first semester which was a very smart decision. Our first days of wedding filled with his residency things. Money spent here and there, very often no weekend, while weekdays spent mostly in hospital too. Few days he even arrived home at midnight. Once we had a weekend, a phone call from senior came and ruined it. We even once had to give one of our wedding gift for his senior’s wedding since another senior asked him to look for a wedding gift just an hour before reception -_-.

In the other hand, I also was struggling between work and house-works and affairs. Took care all of mom’s financial acoounts here and there. Doing all the duties which once were mom’s. It was like having multiple jobs. My work, the house-affairs, my dad affairs, and of course the marriage.

That was the time when I realized how much my mum had been doing all through her life with us.

We were pretty tight budget for the first few months. But, slowly it was getting better and better. After six months, I had another job which suited me well in the term of time,location and number. So, I was pretty lucky having two jobs that I liked a lot. Le husband also started to get paid when he had night shift at some hospitals.

We’ve been married for 1,5 years when we first knew that Langit was on her way. The night when we knew, we were just staring at each other and laugh. Glad of course,and a bit worry, bien sur.

Although we both had pretty decent income together every month, it seemed only sufficient for both of us. Having a baby would be a bliss, but it also came with other consequences. All the good and best things always have its price. That was why the weekend after we found out, we visited two nearest hospitals to ask some information about the doctor, the facilities, and the price to give birth there.

In spite of a pretty different range of price, we decided to choose the more expensive one since we felt more comfortable there. I think, in the term of health, education, and nutrition, parents should give the best that they could. The cost of those three things should become a meaningful reason to work harder for their child.

As the belly was getting bigger, the income was getting smaller since I decided to lessen my teaching hours. I even asked earlier on-leave than the prediction time which turned out to be a very good decision because Langit also arrived earlier.

Meanwhile, our expenses also were getting bigger. The same month when Langit arrived, it was le husband’s first month of being at the level where he was the one who had to pay for the meal when he had his night shift. It means that he should pay for the meal of 15-20 people, dinner and breakfast, even lunch snack. More, on that first month, he had 6 night shifts schedule which equals to 6 times providing the meals. It costed us one-third of a total hospital fee when Langit was born.
To be honest,if I looked back, it gave me racing and aching heart to let the money we had been saving for months were gone just like that -_-.

Alhamdulillah Langit came through vaginal-birth which really a cost-saving for us. We had prepared the money for caesarian birth. We had to, since we promised we wont count on other’s help for this, even the parents. But, alhamdulillah, the help came from everywhere. My parents, my aunts, and many others.

For this one, if I looked back, it gave me such a great relief at heart that we didn’t have to withdraw our deposit money in the end:D

During those three months without income, I really count on solely on my saving or in the other words mantab: makan tabungan. To add some more, le husband was also sent to Ruteng for a month in January, then got Fatmawati hospital duty on February. Two months of having no income, both of us.

It was scary. Yet, we managed to get through it.

Now, we slowly try to get back to our normal income after those three mantab months. Yes, slowly, since I had no one to help taking care Langit when I go back to my teaching schedule before. Meanwhile, I had not enough courage,bravery, and intention to do that. To leave her with someone unrelated whom I didn’t who. Worse, we even had to pay highly for that. I just couldn’t do that. Couldn’t materially and mentally afford the costs.

We’re getting better as Langit is getting taller and bigger. Although her vaccine price seems to be getting higher and higher. But, no worry Cipi, let us do our duty, you only have to be healthy and happy:)

Until now, It is still hard sometimes,yes. But, we had been through many things beyond our expectation. I don’t feel that we are being left alone in every single thing that we face. There has always been help.

In spite of starting small and slow, alhamdulillah those have been sufficient. So, there is no need to worry about being small and slow, there is Him who will make it sufficient.

The Big Three

About Being Married

Posted on 10 Apr 201526 Sep 2015 by arlanadya

Rarely talk about this. Why now? It is the result of registering in one of mommies forum. Not to share,just like to read those pages.

The first thread I went through was about relationship with husband after being married/having children. I finished all pages within two days. A whole 68 pages with hundreds posts.

So, then it’s true that being married is very far from easy since all those moms shared how their husband changed after a baby. Mostly not in a good way.

Then,another thread was about In-laws talk. There, everything about the in-laws were shared. Again, mostly not in a good way.

It made me feel a bit embarassed. For being so ungrateful (often). At least, I have a husband and all in-laws that I won’t talk about that way in such forum.

It has not been easy at all for these two years. So much hard work, compromising, patience, while it would be still a bit hard for the next two years. I am talking about le husband’s residency.

But, if I looked back, we had been through lots too. Those things that we didn’t imagine that we could go through safely. Every single thing that I often forget when I was angry to le husband.

Since my head is currently working well, let’s count the major blessings this marriage brings :

– Thank You for giving me such patient, funny, and loveable husband. Although he is messy:/

– Thank You for putting me in such kind family and parents and brothers in-laws and Thank you for not giving me a sister in-law;))

– Thank you for giving me such healthy, funny, adorable daughter through this marriage. I have been living 30 years without her. Being 4 months with her makes me wonder how I can be fine during those 30 years.

So, If someone asks me which one is better between before and after le marriage?

My answer will be : I stand on the right side.

The Big Three

Random thoughts

Posted on 18 Mar 201521 Sep 2020 by arlanadya

Currently sitting on the sofa after pumping breast-milk. It is 6.30 am now and today is Wednesday. Going to Yamaha at 2 pm. I have been resuming teaching since January. Only for one day.

Langit is still having her morning sleep after bathing. She will wake up soon usually. My morning has been more hectic since last 4 months. But, it is true that more busy makes you more productive and efficient. I am able to do more houseworks when I am alone. Like having spare time to write this.

Lately, when I was breastfeeding Langit and being alone, my thoughts wandered here and there. The silence made me reminisce the days in the past when everyone were still here. The morning when everyone were busy preparing for school and work, had breakfast together in the table and usually on the weekend we even stayed longer and had conversations. Never thought such small routine is very priceless in years later.

Not to say that I am not happy with le husband and Langit, but it might be happier when we just add the member without losing one(s).
Yeah, just my two cents.

Then, hope for a good day today. Amin.

Maternité, The Big Three

A jungle called ‘motherhood’

Posted on 23 Dec 201415 Nov 2021 by arlanadya

I just red tweets about a new mum giving her newborn other milk than breast-milk and how it made her being judged by her surroundings. Some said that she was lazy or anything. The other day, I saw a post in Instagram about a mum telling her delivery story through c-sect. She had prepared from the very start to have vaginal birth and had done many things to have it. But, in the end, she had to do c-sect instead. Then, a comment came to her account teasing about her having c-sect in the end.

Sometimes, people are really cruel. Indeed.

Long before Langit came, I have read so many articles on debating vaginal birth and c-sect,breast milk and cow-milk. How people (ibu-ibu mostly) are very judgemental towards a new mom. It said that vaginal birth is better and after that they continue judging you about how you breast-feed the baby.

When I knew I was pregnant, believe it or not, it was le husband who came up with the idea of me giving birth through c-sect. Just because I am petite and my hips really seems too small. It became more clear after seeing the blood-test result stating that I had high d-dimer. It had something to do with blood coagulation and it led to c-sect too. Not enough with those two, Langit’s position until 7 months still was not good enough to do vaginal birth. So, c-sect seemed to be my only way out.

Then about breast milk, in my family, we are all the product of formula. Me and my siblings. My aunt told me often that my grandma,my mum and her didn’t produce any breast-milk at all. So often till I was really sure that I would have the same thing too.

So, I was so ready to be judged since I would give birth through c-sect and gave the baby formula after that.

But, as the due was nearer, I was re-thinking about both of things. Instead of c-sect, why couldn’t be vaginal birth if everything was fine and possible? Mostly because I felt healthy enough and still could do things at home, and outside. I even still went to the market when I was 9 month pregnant.

I kept performing real sujud in my salat because the doc said it helped fixing the baby’s position. In my salat, I prayed hard,not asking to have vaginal birth, but may Allah chose the best way for me and the baby. As long as both of us were fine, it would be ok. Eventough I was sure that deep down inside Allah knew which one I preferred, for so many reasons.

I didn’t join any pregnancy yoga or something similar at all. I even didn’t spare time to take a walk like most pregnant women did, as I often saw with their husband. Simply because I had no time and it was hard for me to do it. My excercises were just at home. Doing all the houseworks, here and there. Just that. So, if people asked me how could my normal delivery was so fast, it might be because of that. One of the reasons.

About breast-milk, in spite of things that my aunt kept telling me, I also kept trying any possible way known so I could produce the milk later. I ate daun katuk few times in a month and other vegetables, consume vitamins, honey and habbatussaudah. If later it won’t succeed, at least I had try before.

In fact, all those two major judgmental things didn’t happen at all. Allah allowed me to do vaginal birth, even with a bonus, without long-bearing pain. 6 hours only. Not enough, my breast milk was flowing from the very first day. So, until today, Langit only consume breast-milk. Alhamdulilah.

But, is that true that vaginal birth and breast milk are really without pain? NO. Big NO.

I had many stiches since it took sometime till I succeed to push her out. It was soooo hurt. Even days after that. I walked slowly and sleep untightly. I was afraid to do number two for days. I had to sit above a thick cover whether it was blanket,sajadah or a pillow. Whether sitting or standing, it hurt. After a week, it was getting better.

It is true that breast-milk has many advantages for the baby and also for the mum. But it doesn’t come easily. On the second day after delivery, my breasts largened as a result of non-stop breast-feeding. The nipples were so hurt. I cried once since I had to bear more pain. In my bottom and my breasts. Double pain.

So, it is either vaginal birth or c-sect and breast milk or cow-milk, each have its own pain and I think all mothers surely want their baby to get all the best from her.

In a jungle called motherhood, I will be trying hard to survive.

Life happens, The Big Three

A Farewell Note

Posted on 22 Oct 201427 Apr 2022 by arlanadya

The last day of my 20’s.
I am having a new number insya Allah in few hours. How does it feel?

To be honest,

It is scary.
It has been great along these 10 years. People say that 30’s will be more exciting. I hope mine will be too. But, I will start the new phase by having the most important role as a human. A mother. That what scares me most, I think.

Not to say I am not happy or grateful. Maybe I think about this too seriously. But then, who is not?

Having a child is like a lifetime job that you are never be able to resign. Since the due date is getting closer (I am currently in my 32 weeks), I have more doubts and anxieties about this. There are too many and I can’t even elaborate.

I just have my faith in me that helps me a lot to carry on. The faith and my belief that I will never be alone to go through everything.
No matter how rough the road ahead, there will be one thing that always be near with me. One that is the help of all affairs.

Laa haula wa la quwwata illa billah.

I recite this one sentence very often along these months..

Well, welcome aboard, three-O:)

The Big Three

A Lazy Sunday Morning Random Thought

Posted on 24 Aug 201426 Sep 2015 by arlanadya

I really love sunny Sunday Morning, especially when I have nothing to be done later. My mind wander here and there, think about many things. It’s quite enjoyable.

This morning I decided writing after having some conversations with little brother about pursuing a degree abroad.

I talked quite much since I had been there. Doing all the process about that for more than a year. That was one of my most-alive moments in my life. The times when you felt so excited everytime you woke up in the morning knowing that you had something to do. It was a journey to make your dream came true.

I did all the research thoroughly. From choosing universities, practising IELTS, searching for scholarships,etc. I spent hours in front of that old computer before went to work or after, and sometimes until late at night.

My 6,5-IELTS-score was the most proud real result of those hard work that I have been doing during that time. I couldn’t afford to take a preparation class due to time and yeah,money constraint. I actually could ask my father to lend me some, but I chose not to. I thought that I could save the money for other purposes and better made some time to practice it alone since the resources were available on the internet.

So I sat every morning,literally every morning,after subuh working on almost every IELTS preparation tests available online for an hour. At first, it seemed so difficult and made me think and re-think that I was not be able to do this unless someone taught me. But, still, I kept working on it every morning and the score started progressing.

In spite of all those efforts, until just few days before the test, my score was still quite lower than 6,5. I became a little bit anxious. Wondering whether I had really tried my best. Questioned my self often, what a-3-million-rupiahs meant for taking a preparation class if it worked better to make your dream realized than suffered for days doing it alone, altough I didn’t have to spend any money. I could earn some money again later, but the time would not return.

For me, having a-6,5-IELTS-score was extremely important and urgent at that time. It couldn’t wait any longer. The clock was ticking. If I failed, than I might have had to give it up until I didn’t know when.

At the same time as I was studying hard for it,since the test quite costly too, (it was about USD 180 or around 2 million rupiahs), I was working from Monday to Sunday. Yes kids, from Monday to Sunday, you read it right. In three different places : Elementary school, music school, and teaching private piano to an expat on Sunday. Didn’t I feel tired? If the question was asked now, I wouldn’t even dream about working that crazily. But back then, it was nothing about feeling tired. I was enjoying all of that since I knew I had a bigger purpose of doing it more than merely just the money.

The test were taken on a Saturday morning. I made special time to do it since saturday was actually my teaching day at music school. So I had replaced it on another day before.

I remembered when I arrived at the test venue, it was quite nerve-wracking. I didn’t know it would be that crowded. The queue was very long for registration and they were very strict that we couldn’t be late.
Thankfully, the registration was quite smooth. Then, the second anxiety came. I saw people reading book everywhere while I wasn’t bring any at all. I never study when it is the day of the exam. It makes me more nervous.

It was even worse when I heard some people next to me talking that it was their second or third time retaking the test after attending the preparation class. How could I not feel so agitated hearing those things? If they were failing after taking class and so on, then what about me?:|

Not for long, they started calling names to enter the room. Then, the things started to fall nicely in its place.

When they called my name, I was appointed to a small room, not a big hall, which the less people the better, so you could be more focus.

Next best thing was they had also prepared for the seat. We could not choose by ourself where we wanted to sit. Mine? I got a front-row middle seat with both audio speakers next to me. One in my left and another one on my right. It was truly Allah’s helping hand worked there.

The luck didn’t stop there. I nailed the listening and structure section since I could hear everything clearly. When I opened the reading section, 4 out of 5 reading texts were about classical music, education, and an interesting psychological article which was quite easy to understand. It was soo different with any other IELTS texts that I had been practising before which were very long and hard to understand. My smile were getting wider and wider.

It was a total Allah’s help on that day. Even the writing and speaking, I got the topics that I was really well-comprehended. Finished taking all the sections that day, I felt no regrets at all for whatever the result would be.

I received my IELTS score result exactly on my birthday. It was Friday of 23rd October.

I fetched the result during my school break time. Had the anxiety since morning. It was the day that would tell me whether I could continue or had to stop. The result would decide where my life would be in the following year. It made all the difference.

I arrived at the venue around 12 pm. It was very hot sunny day. While walking towards the venue, I kept soothing my self when the result was not as I expected. Keep talking that I had tried all my best with all the resources I had. Then, if it was not now, maybe Allah saved another better time later in the future. But, deep down inside, I knew it would be pretty heart-breaking if I failed. I surely would be 1000%.

I took a very long and deep breath when I received the result on my hand before opening it. When I opened the envelope, and saw that 6,5 score and other scores were all 6,0 and some section above that, I couldn’t help crying. I couldn’t believe that I really make it. As if you were freed from a heavy burden after few weeks. It was beyond words to express how it felt.

I returned to school with so much lighter heart, knowing that the hope was really there and it was getting real and near. Could not help stop smiling for the rest of the day. That day, I had given my self the best birthday gift I could receive during 25 years of my life.

I finally made it to go abroad on December 2010. A year after the test. It wasn’t europe as I longed for, but it was even a better place that was chosen for me.

So kids, always remember this :

If it is really your dream, you won’t be making any excuses to make it happened. You will really try to find any possible way to make it.
Work hard and patience will never fail you. It will always be paid.

Do your best of the best, Allah will SURELY takes care all the rest.

End of a lesson today.

Past learning, The Big Three

20’s

Posted on 1 Aug 201429 May 2023 by arlanadya

Found the quote above somewhere between twitter or instagram and could not agree more.
Since my 20’s are soon to be over insya Allah, few days ago I wrote down in my notes the highlights in each year during my 20’s.
Let’s take a look :
21
First job at campus as a lecturer assistant.
22
Surviving KKN at Blanakan,Subang. I called it surviving since I safely returned healthier than the arrival. Gained few kilos.
23
Graduated from Faculty of Agriculture majoring Agribussiness with Honor.
24
– A dream job came true teaching at an islamic school.
– Having the passport stamped. Kuala Lumpur and Singapore checked.
– Dealing with the worst broken heart.
– Hajj portion number completed.
25
– Chosen as one of the most favorite teacher,highest score in english test, a very good times at school.
– Dealing with some personal problems. Some proposal were offered and politely rejected.
26
– Started pursuing for master degree abroad. Fighting so much for europe for some time.
– Went Umra for the second time. This time, another stamp on the passport added. Istanbul, Turkey.
– Resigned from school
– Started over with a life-time sweet,sour,bitter problem♥
27
– Another dream came true : pursuing master degree abroad. It was UPM,Malaysia.
– Learning so much in every way of one life. Realized so many things about life. Might be the best time and place where my personal growth occured. Well, and to be fair, the worst time and place to the body till it suffered the lowest weight I have ever had.
– A wedding preparation and engagement while having LDR between so many places, you named it: Jkt-Timika, KL-Sorong,KL-Jakarta,Jkt-Vietnam,KL-Samarinda,Jkt-Mecca.
28
The most memorable year of my 20’s:
– Graduated with honor from UPM
– Another dream came true once more : went hajj with mum. The greatest,toughest,and saddest journey.
– Well, this one was hard to imagine when it finally really came true : Married to a life-time best friend.
The one who had been here for 10 years,proposed since 9 years before,and kept trying to make it happen no matter what it took to be together.

Beyond grateful. Three great blessings one could have within a year. Master Degree abroad, Hajj, and A dream marriage.

However ..
The losses were equals, then :
– beloved grandma and uncle were taken just within two weeks interval.
– and, this one was and will always be the greatest loss of my life ; My dearest mum went two weeks after Hajj and just two weeks before the wedding. Half of my heart were already gone with her since that day.

Three enormous losses one can endure within a year.

29
After 28, life has been changed pretty much. It has not been easy (at all) but I can say it is not bad at all.
Had our 1st anniversary and is heading for the second while I am writing this, a little present inside the womb kicks softly:)

I can’t say much about the future. But, I will try to be bolder, braver to embrace whatever happen next.

Then, Hello,30:)

The Big Three