Mental Noise

I have been wondering about something lately and end up reading some articles about this.

I am someone with noisy mind. From the time I wake up till bed time, my mind is one ‘who’ is constanly having monologue inside the head. Doing lots of daily activies always accompanied by the monolog inside my mind talking about many random things.

From this article : Mental noise – also called inner monologue – is a term used to describe the incessant chattering we hear all of the time in our brains, from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to sleep (sometimes it can even prevent sleep!).

The few items described by that article speaks to me a lot, especially one that said “constant analysis of our and other people’s situations, reactions and behavior”.

I always feel like having another friend inside of me that keeps me entertained. This is maybe why overthinking becomes one of my natural talent.

The good thing is it doesn’t bother the good night sleep at all so far. In some unusual day like when I have something big in mind like travelling far away from home, then it might disturb the night sleep.

Another side effect of having noisy mind is I am constantly looking for something to think. I feel restless when I have nothing to read and I feel calmer when I have enough reading stocks around. It gives me certain pleasure whenever I find something new to read unexpectedly, like bump into an instagram or blog with enjoyable writing.

With such noisy mind, I also keep looking for something to entertain my brain, making plans, doing some researches on something, mostly about doing activity with little girl or some new ice cream shop to try. Thus, I always one with plans and somehow feel ‘guilty’ when I have nothing in mind.

Writing is one way to reduce the noise inside. Been constantly writing since my elementary school days. It has been a great help until today. While reading doesn’t work all the time because it’s more of consuming kind, writing always does because it’s on the releasing part.

The downside is, whenever the writing urge strikes, once it started, I couldn’t stop until I finish it. Whenever the mood to write comes, I need to grab it. So, neglecting some other things is sometimes unavoidable.

This is also why I almost always write during holiday. With so many things the eyes see, the brain works even harder and the talking inside is getting louder. It needs some ways to reduce the noise and writing is the only possible way because I don’t (really) like talking to human being.

I rarely wait until the holiday is over because by that time, I already have other noises to deal with.

Just like now, by clicking the publish button, I am releasing some noise inside to give more space for some other to come.

This topic reminds me of one of the most exciting current on-going shows from dramaland, which is NOT SQUID GAME (still can’t bring myself to proceed more than the first few minute of the first episode), but this one.

Just like Yumi, maybe the noise comes from the cells inside that keep talking all the time?

It could be.

Bon weekend à vous tous!