It was during writing time with the little girl when suddenly such view appeared by the window. We stopped doing what we did and watched my second favorite nature view (after sunset) until they disappeared.
One said that rainbow comes to apologize for the angry skies. Thinking about that, it might be true. The sky had been so grumpy for hours that day. Then suddenly, these beauties appeared and made us smile.
This felt like a little present on this birthrday month. It’s been the period without daily sunrise nor sunset view for the past months, so having such view cured the longing a little bit.
As usual, never write on the exact date of the birthday. But, what is birthday without the sentimental thought that keeps pondering on your head?
The time of the year where I have always looked back, not one, but ten years behind. I often judge my life within the period of ten years, because less than that, the span would be too short to evaluate and allow some big changes happen in life.
I once read, which again, I forgot where or who (tried to google it with different kind keywords but found nothing), that 27 is the year when you make some important decisions of your life. It was kind of true for me.
(Wait, are you saying you are 27?!)
Bien sur que non, mes amies.
That 27 years old was the time when I started executing my 20’s big dreams. The first two were granted on that age. It was also the age when I took a leap of faith to make one of the most important decisions in one’s life. Marriage.
Life happened incredibly on 27. The ups and downs were beyond crazy. Gained two big dreams and another huge thing in life equaled to lost three VIPs in my life. All happened in that ONE YEAR.
That 27 was a huge milestone when I started viewing life from a totally different angle.
Took off from 27, life began its real courses.
I have been a wife, a primary caretaker and bread winner, a mother, a small bussiness owner, a teacher, a housewife, an avid lifelong learner. I had ticked my third big 20s dream beautifully, ended my 15 years of works on high notes, started different set of life abroad, a volunteer, and one of the highlights was, put a heavy reader name tag back on my chest after years of being in the slump.
For these 10 years, the heart had been through so much. From utmost betrayal to the worst broken heart. Standing up again and again after falling for so many times, refused to give up for something that I stubbornly believed. Slowly cured, forgave, and moved on from the (many) wounds in the past.
And, here I am, ten years from that 27.
I looked back to those ten years behind with heart full of immense gratitude for every experience and learning beyond my wildest imagination. I am overwhelmed with abundance of blessing that Allah bestowed upon and me and my family.
Still have many rooms for improvements, occupied by insecurities here and there, but overall, I am beyond grateful to be in a better place than ten years ago.
When I said above that I started seeing life in a totally different angle since 27, ten years later, I still stan with that angle, only with more clear view. It’s the same angle J.K. Rowling used to write her life time bestseller Harry Potter. She started with how it would end.
So, whenever many insecurities creeped in, I asked myself, if the time is up, who and what would be my biggest concerns?
The answers become the compass to arrange my priorities on daily basis.
That way, I hope to continue living this borrowed-life meaningfully and would return it with the least regrets. Amin.
No other hopes in positivity tone?
Sorry, I am a pessimist. I am scared, anxious, and too careful more than it is shown.
I prefer to keep my seatbelt fasten all through the journey.
So, whenever turbulence appears, at least, I would be on the least level of ready 🥂 .
A Penny for My Pensieve 