An ordinary piano practice session turned out to be a quite big meltdown when she finally ‘exploded’ after I told her to repeat same piece several times because her hands position didn’t show any improvements.
It was quite lucky and rare day since the dad was around. So he helped calming her down. The convo itself was quite funny and innocent. Several lines really made me burst into laugh.
Some lines like :
“Is the piano hurt you? Ok then, so, I’ll just donate it, so you won’t feel hurt anymore”.“NO! The piano didn’t hurt me. MOMMY HURT ME!!”
A scene while her dad hugged her,
“She’s better than you in playing piano, so you should listen to her,”. *took her face off from her dad shoulder and answered fiercely, “I AM BETTER THAN HER!”.
I recorded this scene and it got shaky in an instant, even her dad couldn’t help laughing out loud.
It was so unimaginable such statement could come from her mouth.
Yah, not everyday is full of rainbow and sunshine. Sometimes it’s dark clouds with thunderstorm.
Meltdowns, anger, lost the temper are things happened behind the closed door.
Although it’s not pleasant, that is part of normal life.
Who dont resent their parents for some (or many) reasons?
Who never yell at their kids? Here’s one truth from Mark Ruffalo.
Also, the more time you spend with someone, the more they’ll see your bad side. That’s why, space between is needed.
But, in spite of everything, I would still choose to do this over anything else.
One bad day is just one bad day. It won’t define the whole life.
If we analysed her statement, there was so much truth on it. She is obviously FAR MUCH BETTER than me when I was at her age, not only in piano but in many things in life, which indeed something to be grateful for.
Never I would imagine a seven years old would have already been to many countries, lived abroad, spoke English fluently, got a distinction in an internationally certified exam, and many more.
But, it is also not magical, considering how much different set of situations she has. She gets amount of supports, opportunities, talents, starting line, and many more that I didn’t have back then.
Mathemacially speaking, the bigger and the better quality of your input and the earlier you start, the greater your output will be.
So, if we compare my (piano) achievement (or anything) and hers at this age, that is like comparing duku and cherry.
Thus, kind of statement like “Dulu mama umur segini udah bisa, bla, bla” is never valid.
I can’t and won’t deal with her the same way I had been dealt with in the past.
No space for argument and opinion, no room for questioning things in the past. Now, we spare so much room for those things about everything.
Apology rarely given because parents were always right and silent treatment became a normalized punishment, now we apologize and make up right away when we make mistake, and move on.
Hugs and kisses are thrown generously.
How I (we) parent today are very much different than how I was parented.
The big question,will it produce better generation?
That’s one thing I totally have no idea and would really love to know the answer.
Because, many times, life couldn’t be predicted as simple as mathematical equation.
A Penny for My Pensieve 