Expectations in Final Exams

After school conversations have always been full of entertainment.

Most days it was the cheerful tone and bright facial expressions telling stories about school. Few rare days, it was the gloomy face with flowing tears over the small things.

Last Wednesday was one of the rare days. Right after the door closed, tears were flooding. Unlike the previous two days of final exams which she was quite confident, that day was the opposite.

Asked her what happened and she said she couldn’t answer one question (which is the translation of one of the daily dua🙄) and it made her frustrated.

I asked back so what, it was only one question.

“But, I’ll get less than 7 and get the consequences”.

We (okay, I) set clear expectations about the minimum score that she should aim for each subject in final exam. Some were no less than 9, few were no less than 8, very few no less than 7.

Expectation is not about giving pressure. It’s about being rational. It’s about managing your precious time and energy where to focus more without neglecting the less.

Setting the expectation clearly means you understand you can’t be good at everything yet it’s not an excuse to not give your best shot in anything you’re responsible with.

“What’s the consequences?”
“Study more?”
“Yes, that’s it. Eat your apple pie,”

Out of the blue, the tears stopped flowing knowing an apple pie was waiting.
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Getting at least 7 is actually the minimum standard in national curriculum called KKM.

I had done my part helping her study. Since last semester, I was being a loud parent who criticized how come a 7yo could memorize all those bulky and irrelevant Islamic studies materials and expect them to answer the questions regarding those things. A session/week for 30 minutes hearing a boring lecture which doesn’t help at all. Not to mention the language used in the insctruction gives so much headache, even for a normal kid without any disorders.

Kind of problems we deal with the outdated 9-years-old national curriculum with old school way of teaching.

But, surely, we couldn’t expect an overnight change. So, the only way is studying and deal with whatever we have to deal with.

Until now, I have no slightest idea about how bad or how well she did in her first sit-in final exams.

What I know is it’s always ‘fun’ to get direct feedback how the kids react about anything we do, we tell, or we model, conscious or unconciously. Like she has to deal with the consequences if she fails to meet the expectations, which is ‘just’ study more.

In parenting league, a real tiger mom would roll her eyes out hearing the expectation,”what kind of parent expect minimum standard for a test?” Or “is 7 even a score?”

While the permissive one would claim, ”it’s just a test, that doesn’t define anything, just let it be”.

It is easier when you’re really clear which side to pick. Balancing between those two, that’s quite hard work.

But, I am clear about something.

I love how she took the standard set seriously. That precious tears were beyond hilarious.

Whether she made it or not, let’s deal with that later when we know the answer.