Inner Talks

School days have been rolling for few weeks and it gives me some space in between.

I love the silence during school hours. Sessions with Heather, doing the remaining chores, talking to all the noise inside the head, tell them to slow down and shut up a little bit.

Safely passed June and July doesn’t make this new month feels easier. As if something is always lurking behind the wall. Couldn’t help keeping the seatbelt on and continuously being alert just in case turbulences coming without any warnings, which happened quite often recently.

Funny how being relax now feels more insecure than keep exercising the overthinking talent. Telling “whatever will be, will be” to the noise inside only helps as long as more plans are secured.

I remembered one of those days. The period where I wondered how tranquil the days had been until it felt quite boring. Now, the wheels are rolling, wishes were granted.

There were times when I thought how hard these days have been, but the thought of getting the comfortable days back yet going through the same situation with the same people didn’t appealing at all.

I remembered how many chances had been given yet no improvement shown. For someone who don’t easily let go of something, who always tries any possible ways to make it work because it’s important for me, I don’t look back once I decide to let go.

As if I am babbling about getting back with ex-boyfriend (there’s none, in fact).

I wish I could find the urge to write more often since it helps so much. Too many untitled posts in the draft where I had so much to pour yet no words came easily to be typed. Stopping at few first sentences becomes a habit.

But, at least, one is released now and it feels good!