Observing what happens around myself and the closest family since a long time makes me rarely impressed about people.
I can be impressed by so many little things about nature, but not people.
It maybe because people could behave so differently when they’re outside around strangers and when they’re around the ones who should matter the most.
Rarely impressed with any achievements, titles, or story about flashy careers, but always more curious about the real life behind that.
Being a mother 8 years ago made me realize that there’s no such thing as balance between work and life. Just like a see-saw on the playground, it doesn’t work when the see-saw stays on the middle.
To make it work, it should go up and down continuously. It means when you put your focus and energy on one thing, it would be on the high while the other would be on the lower part.
That was what happened on the first year of motherhood. I thought working part time while taking care the baby myself was possible. But, as soon as she arrived, life pushed me to choose without middle ground.
It was unimaginable before that I should do my resignation no longer after she came. Because I had no choice and I had to choose. Knowing what’s important helped a lot in making such decision.
Luckily, I still had my second work which was less demanding. But, weirdly, at certain point, I came to realize that I even had to compromise on this. Not completely gave it up, but to reduce the working hours significantly. Nothing prepared me that taking care a single tiny human being could take so much energy.
I hate not having enough money to afford more than my basic needs, but, turned out I couldn’t stand more how I behave behind the spotlight when I was too tired doing things with the spotlight.
I realized that being under the spotlight, where I have to behave, dressed and talked properly in front of people left me with close to zero energy when the light was off.
The result was I became even more short-tempered than before and projected to one who didn’t deserve it.
Reducing the time under the spotlight helped a lot. I might have less money, but I had time and space to do the more important things that I had to do, and I could sleep at night without the lingering guilt on my head. It was priceless.
Observing closest people around me, I found quite similar pattern. Those who are nice to other people outside could be such a monster to their people inside. Those who are seen as a good family man in other’s point of view were the dishonest ones to their own family. Those who seems to excel much on the work are the same people who tend to neglect the children and their house is messy. Those who seem could afford things to display outside are the same people who could be so ignorant when it comes to pay their own meal on family dinner.
Accidentally found this Clip and it feels so relatable with this post.
How true the hadist from the Prophet that said, “ The best of you are the best to their families, and I am the best to my family”.
Thus, I couldn’t help taking pinches of salt for every flashy display about something. Knowing how ones do behind the spotlight becomes a better way to judge a character.
The real one.
A Penny for My Pensieve 
Halo Mba Arlanadya
I finally had the courage to comment here, and while I’m here I have to confess that I might be one of ur visitor that contribute in spiking your old post traffic 🙂
For me this post is written beautifully and soo relatable in a way; how ones that excel in work might be less competent in the house, vice versa. and for ones that have a greener grass, we might as well check their water bill 😀
Hi Zi! I really appreciate that you spent a lot of your precious time for reading my rants here. You said it well too, people only enjoys watching the green grass but not the pain of paying the bill, right? Thank you so much for finally saying hello!
This is so true, and it really hits home, because I never thought about it like this. The more I get stressed, the more I get snappy at home, and this is while I maintain my “professional facade” at the office.
It was also something I realized only after few months of early motherhood, when the fussy and grumpy me became so much unbearable until I even couldn’t stand myself😵💫.