Guilt

It’s weird that there is a period of life which could make me feel guilty in certain parts about living it.

Especially when you couldn’t help comparing it to others.

The common feeling that happens when you compare what you have with others is envy. But, instead of that, what appears is guilt.

First, the guilt of (sometimes) being (so) oblivious to the fact I have a lot of biases and using my own standard to measure things. Although, I totally understand that everyone is living different kind of season at the moment. Some are still on the sowing stage while for others they are already on the reaping period.

I have known since long that life is not fair and never fair, but in an unpleasant way.

Knowing that life is also not fair in a good way is new to me.

Here’s another guilty part : how little has been done to return all the favors bestowed.

There’s no question about being grateful. But, in a way, it’s funnily confusing a little bit and here comes the second guilt : how come He granted things to the smallest detail? Is this really okay? Do we really get what we deserve? We human sometimes love making things sound more complicated than it seems.

Are we done with the guilt? Apparently no.

Here’s the third one : knowing how little has been done to return all the favors bestowed upon us. There’s this annoying feeling inside that sometimes I take things for granted and we should have done better than this.

Duh.

I have to keep reminding myself that any positions in life is temporary. Where you are right now is not permanent. It’s really a reminder to keep these feet on the ground.

One thing I learn from having these guilts : staying sober is an underrated skill in life. Maybe this is why people get drunk easily when life is on their side. Thinking it would stay forever.

The test of true characters can be shown in two situations :

The patience when one has nothing.

The humility when (s)he has everything.

I found the first one is way much easier than the latter.