Trust

I wonder what’s stopping me to reach out to someone with problems unless they do it first?

Maybe it’s because I myself always feel uncomfortable reaching out to others when I have problems?

Or maybe I don’t like the feeling of knowing other people business and private life too much, like I don’t keen on others knowing mine?

Maybe because I mostly use my head more than my heart while from my observations, others do the opposite. I honestly find it hard to understand.

When I have trouble inside, writing is my healing. Been writing about everything since I was in the second grade of elementary. I agree with someone who says “normalize going to therapy”. In my case, for someone who doesn’t like talking and having the desire to talk about their problems to others, writing is the best, cheapest and easiest therapy that everyone could afford. Wrote this last year.

I didn’t know where it began, but I have so little trust in human. Even the one who said they loved you, been through many years of life’s ups and downs with you, could betray you easily. Talking from the real experience.

I fully realize the trust issue I deal with inside and how it impacts my behavior when it comes to dealing with other’s feeling. So, while I keep looking for some ways to deal with it better, I’d rather find the other alternatives to deal with any kind of life problems.

Other than writing, self-talking inside my head does help too, so does staying longer in the praying mat after daily prayer or right before the dawn. It’s inexplicably soothing. Your problem won’t disappear right away, but you get the strength to deal with whatever you should deal with.

There is one beautiful verse in Quran that said :

So, I don’t have better recommendations than turning to the One who will take care all of your affairs, no matter how small or big they are, whenever life throws some lemons to your face.

After all, why we should ask help from the weak one who’s not always reliable and accessible due to many reasons when we have unlimited access to The Most Exalted?