Ramadan Worst

To put the balance from the previous post.

Is there any such thing about it?

Indeed.

The worst thing is when it’s Ramadan and you’re not fasting.

I am not talking about judgement towards anything or anyone, but, when the period comes. In my case, physically and mentally, I feel so much uncomfortable when I don’t fast more than when I do.

The headache, the urge to lay down all day doing nothing, being exempted from any rituals like salah and tilawah, and no excitement towards ifthar. It’s funny that I feel more thirsty when I don’t fast more than when I do until I keep refilling my glass all day. My tummy keeps growling loudly all day as if it hasn’t being fed for days. These are quite frustrating actually.

I’ve been fasting regularly since 2003, so it’s been around 20 years already. My regular is the Monday-Thrusday sunnah one. It becomes the days that I look forward to in a week. When the period comes, I am always be quick to finish it until I could take the compulsory bathing few times in two days just because I want to resume all the rituals as soon as possible.

When I think more about this, I guess it’s not only about the fast or the salah itself. I think it’s more about how uncomfortable to live without any limits. Days without five times prayers feel longer and it’s totally not excited when you have nothing to look forward to. Weeks without Monday-Thursday fast are less appealing because there’s no break from regular eating.

As a moslem, I find that many of us tend to plan something according to prayer time. The remarks “after dzuhur”, “before maghrib” are quite common here. The more I thought about it, that five times prayers are actually daily discipline training. I tend to finish any works to do according to these prayers time.

Instead of burden, the five times prayers are actually ones who give rest between the busy schedule. Just like a piece of music, what makes meaning in a song is not only the notes which produce melodies, but also the silence from the rest sign.

It goes the same with fasting. That instant full tummy feeling right after small ifthar consists of a cup of hot tea, a piece of date, and a scoop of rice tell that we don’t need much to make us fulfilled.

The more I learn, the more I think it’s such a privilege to be a moslem. Both daily prayer and fasting included among five pillars of Islam are not by accident or randomly picked, but truly carefully design by the best Life Designer Himself.

Things that we see as something that we’re being asked to do (or restricted from) are actually everything that we exactly need to live well. It’s more liberating than restricting. It’s more make sense than we could’ve imagined.

(I could go on with zakat, it’s on the draft, but, it’s trickier to put the words about that than I thought).

This post is surprisingly the first instantly written and published one after a while. Then, a blessing in disguise of not fasting, eh?

Finished this writing on 7Q bus BLOK M-PGC. One that I have never tried before during my post school-delivery morning walk.

Have a nice day!

The bus stop in front of Brawijaya Hospital Duren Tiga, 9 Ramadan 1444H.