You tell life what you want, and life tells you how to get it. When you ask for soulmate love, you must listen if life says, but not with them. When you ask for prosperity, you must listen if life says, but not like this.
When you ask for belonging, you must listen if life says, but not here. What feels on the surface like rejection is often redi-rection. When you ask for a big life, you cannot keep fighting for a smaller one to stay.
That is a page from Brianna Wiest’s Pivot Year.
This page reminded me of one day in 2022.
It was only few days after Ramadan ended.
Ramadan that year spent by going around the town, did tens of viewing almost every weekend, while fasting. The initial plan was gathering information and see the available option that we could afford in few years time. Not buying.
Little did we know that was the beginning of long journey. In one of the viewings, the agent said she had another house that wasn’t really good but it was in a quite good location. We agreed to see it first.
We fell for it right away.
It was Saturday and on Sunday morning we came again with an architect I found on the internet just within few hours who could come, see and made a budget plan how much needed to rebuild this house.
From just looking around to really buying? I even thought it was kind a reckless. We also had a zoom meeting with our financial planner to check whether we could really afford it at that time. He said, by numbers, it should be okay.
We paid the down payment too that day. As a newbie, we didn’t know a down payment could be just a small amount. We paid 10 times as requested by the owner. Looking back, it felt like a head over heels teenager in love.
Those things happened in few hours. Then, what did we do on the same day? We returned to the house at night. Just wanted to see how it felt during the night.
Although I know it by heart already, still I forgot, when it’s easy then it must be fishy.
The process kept going until at certain point, it started to fall apart. Not here, life said. But, the heartache of letting go something you really wanted was quite real.
If you think the heartache was only on us, it wasn’t. It took the agent for a while to recover of what she lost when everything seemed so close. She kept texting for many other options that might interest us.
Refused to move on for a while, until I bumped into another advertisement that lead to where we are right now.
The process hadn’t been smooth from the very beginning. There was always something that made us wait, which finally felt right.
Indeed, a delay in your plan is always Allah’s protection.
5 Ramadan 1445 H
A Penny for My Pensieve 