Mental State

The past few days have been intense and feel like out of this world.

The chaos happens inside out.

Life, as I know it, has never been easy. But, previously, I felt like mine was the only one that was hard, while others seemed had it easy and strangely, I considered it was normal.

But the past few days, as a citizen of this country, we have been exposed to the ugliest realities that seemed to absurd to understand. It feels like living in different parallel worlds.

What makes it even more confusing, this also happened on personal level. The past few months,I have been dealing with something that I thought I could only read and see as something happened to others, but dealing with it first hand, it’s hard to explain that it is real.

Recent event gave another frowned and uttered disbelief. Another thing that I thought could happen in any random social media posts I encountered, but, to really deal with tbis in reality, I keep questioning myself : what kind of world is this?

Those tranquil days seemed so far during this period. Is it what those Palestinians feel daily for almost two years? Like there’s no predictability that makes you feel safe and secure.

How we call it live?

I currently experience the curse of knowledge, the consequences of noticing too much and intense, and the downside of being a long term thinker. At times like this, absorbing too much create some burden. Funny there are always indeed two sides of something.

At times like this, what I need is more detachment. Less instead of more.

Caring too much is exhausting. At times like this, certain amount ignorance is indeed a bliss.

This is not a 4 am post, but another written in the dark one while having a bit of trouble getting sleep and I desperately need throwing a short rant into the void.