How to Live

Ramadan Mubarak!

It’s been a hectic week since last week with the highest peak yesterday. Alhamdulilah.

Few months ago, I wrote long and gloomily after dealing with so many social projects and problems last year, I felt like slowly losing myself. Dealing with so many people problems pushed me to have parallel social interactions and it gave me burnout. Some were big problems and without I realized, it consumed me emotionally. Like I was drowning in their problems and boy, it was so hard to get out of there.

Starting the beginning of this year, I radically pulling myself out and Alhamdulillah slowly returning to home.

There’s one thing I just realized recently after joining few volunteers organizations, online classes for myself and my daughter, running the tiny bussiness for the past nine years, dealing with people problems, and new classes enrollment with coaches.

I could only learn, work, and strongly connected with people who take me (and my daughter) seriously, and take themselves/their life seriously too.

It explains why I only survived certain volunteer for 6 months, while thriving in another for 3 years.

It explains why many of Langit teachers couldn’t last for few months and only very few lasts for years.

It explains why some students can work from their first semester up to the last one in our store, while few only lasts few months.

It also explained why I survived 13 years in YPM despite having no talent, yet, I tried my best. Because all my teachers took me seriously.
My grade 6 teacher made me sit for 3 hours just to make one single ornament right, every single week.

I grew up surrounded by the people who took me seriously as a child, and I just realized how significant it was to my adulthood life. Most of them weren’t even family. Sometimes it’s family who don’t take you seriously.

So, when I quit and cut something, I quit and cut fast, because if the other party is not on the same level of commitment, I don’t want to waste my energy.

This is also applicable in any kind ships done. Be it partnership, relationship, or friendship.

In my 40s, I become more unapologetic in putting boundaries to whoever and whatever drains my energy uselessly. Be it friends or family. Because, really, some people truly don’t want to change, and there’s nothing you can do about that.

Once heard someone say, “If someone thinks you are too much or intense, maybe because they are too basic”.

This is nothing about arrogance, but I have been through a lot of period where I offered sincere helps without expecting anything in return other than to see little progress and change. Then, I realized, change is not and will never be my authority and how limited my power is. It returns my peace and stability and finally chooses to just wait and see.

6 Ramadan 1447H