Posted in Maternité, Thoughts

A battle To Win

This one is written when the heart and mind are not in its best shape and mood. This will be a long whining post which will make me look so ungrateful, selfish, and maybe a very bad mother. But, who cares?

I am someone with so little patience. In spite of those things I had written about this and that which look like such cool parenting advices, trust me, no theories can be easily applied when you are facing the real battle. So does it in parenting.

I really feel sorry about this little baby for having such an impatient mother. I won’t give any excuses to make me look better as well as give any explanations how good my daughter is. Instead, I will clearly say the truth of how I feel about this.

Motherhood is no joke. It’s tiring, emotionally draining, head and heart-aching, less sleeping, lots of works, demanding, high pressure, no definite break time and the best part of it, no resigning.

If this one is being considered as a job, I don’t know how to put a price tag on this thing. I don’t know what number would be good enough to pay someone to do such job.

Guess I really needs some space and time to think clearly. As for now, I’ll keep reading those texts le husband sent me to keep me sane.

image

image

It made me feel even worse because he said all the truth.

It’s a very tough battle to win, on the rough road to walk.

Posted in Maternité, Past learning, Thoughts

Inflexible Parent(ing)

On Parenting post few months ago, I wrote back then that I had a really great parents. It was such a long post describing how great they were. But, as I believe that nothing good comes easy, then something great must take no easier, right?

Definition of good and great surely might be different from one to another. It depends on what values one hold. So, this one is probably very subjective.

My parents were pretty much inflexible for certain things when we were kids. Even for several things, they were still inflexible until we were come of age. If I looked back, truthfully, they were inflexible in almost everything, haha. Well, now I can laugh, back then, don’t ask me.

They were strict about school, praying, playing, toys, sleeping, eating, extra-culicular activities, what else any children would do?

They were not only inflexible, but also very non-arguable. But, my generations were those whose parents were mostly strict, hardly ‘listen’ to their children, and the time where physical punishments were acceptable.The children too were those who didn’t talk back to their parents. They did as they told.

It’s pretty much different with current situation when these days parents are quite flexible with their children. Those parents,who were once raised by inflexible parents, decided to become different parents from theirs.

Which one is better?

For some reasons, I believe being inflexible for certain things to the children is the best thing that parents should do. A little child will never know right from wrong if they never to be taught. Teaching that is not easy at all. It needs consistency for long time until the habit become character. Teaching something good  will never be easy.

Even after teaching them something continously at home, there is no guarantee the children will totally acquire it. Some real example that I witnessed was about doing five times prayer.

I went to Islamic school for kindergarten and elementary school. The place were Islamic values and rituals were applied in daily life. It were exposed to the students intensely five-eight hours per day, six days a week, almost entire year for six years (plus three for me).

After elementary, I continued junior high school in public school. It surprised me at first. Spending nine years in a school where once adzan was heard, the students would go to the mosque or else the teacher would make them too, then seeing how empty the mosque was at this current school. Once adzan for dzuhur prayer was heard, the most crowded place was the canteen.

Some of them might pray after eating, but mostly didn’t. And those were including the ones who went to the islamic school before. It happened also during my high school. I went to another public school too and at this school, it was like a reunion since I met so many friends from my elementary school, even one or two from kindy. Most of my elementary friends continued their junior high at the same school. So, practically, they spent almost the entire of their basic education at an Islamic school.

But what happened? Half of them were almost never prayed. We had two breaks at that time. First break at 9 am, some were doing dhuha prayer, and the second break was at 12 pm, the time for lunch and dzuhur prayer. Those friends who spent their nine years, or other were eleven years at an Islamic school, didn’t even bother to go to the mosque to pray. Let alone doing the sunnah pray, they didn’t even do the compulsory one. And they seemed easy about that.

Something was surely missing,right?

Yes, something was definitely missing : the force.

There were no longer those teachers who nagging them to pray once adzan was heard. No direct punishments when they didn’t pray as before. Only those were missing?

Nope. I believe there were an important thing that was missing right from the start.

The parents who taught them to pray and made it as daily habits at home.

We mostly move to different school once a certain level is done, teacher and friends surely come and go, but there is no such thing as moving to other parents nor come-and-go parents.

This is one of the reason why I believe for certain (or maybe many) things being inflexible is suitable for children. Sending them to a good place is probably not (good) enough. Nine to eleven years being wildly and continously exposed to lots of Islamic education doesn’t make one do at least the mere daily prayer.

Parents need to nurture the children themselves at home. It needs consistency and much inflexibility. Because you know, children are smart. They know how to manipulate and negotiate. Once you’re being (too) flexible on something very important (well, in my case, I highly considered doing five times prayer is important), children will know that they can negotiate with this. Maybe at first they will do the prayers because they are told to do it or because they are afraid of the punishment they will receieve for not doing that, but later, they will do it because they want to and they need it as they need to eat.

Parenting goals mostly are the long-term one. There is no instant process nor shortcuts. Being stern and inflexible are the way to tell the kids how important some matters are. Some matters that they can’t take it lightly if they don’t do it. Some matters that will later help and protect them to deal with this harsh life since the parents won’t be forever around.

On the bright side, pain and gain come in one package. There is no such useless effort. We will only reap what we sow. The result of the teaching will come in front of our eyes before we realize it. Once the habit stays, it will be hard to dissapear.

My question for me is, can I go through and bear those hard times while teaching my kids that ‘some important matters’, as well as my parents did with me?

Since I expect at least the same result, so I must, mustn’t I?

Parenting is surely one of the toughest job in the world. And there is no choice of become either part-time, freelancer, nor seasonal.

It’s full time job for a lifetime.

Posted in Langit Senja, Maternité

Baby’s Sleeping

Writing this at 5 am while Langit is still sleeping. Talk about sleeping, I often heard others were being surprised when I told them Langit always sleep in her own crib, and more in a separate room.

She starts sleeping by herself from the very first day at home. She sleeps in the same crib as I did 30 years ago. Yes, 30 years ago. The crib is nothing like small crib, but a big jati wooden one, that you can continue using it until so many years after. I remembered I was still sleeping there during elementary school.

Alhamdulillah, she has been comfortable on her own crib. Until this one year, not a single night she spend the night sleep other than on her crib. This is one thing that I am really grateful for. I like having a good night sleep after a long-tiring day, and it’s been comfortable to sleep peacefully without worrying about the baby.

Not only for me, Langit seems agree with me. She can’t sleep (for too long) other than on her own bed. Since 4 month old, she has been able to sleep through the night and you know how babies are doing while sleeping. They move everywhere,from here to there, and the bed will be very messy. Since she sleeps on her own crib, it’s very safe. I don’t have to worry about her falling down from the  bed.

This is also an advantage once she started standing and walking. Few these months, before calling us that she wakes up, she will play by herself inside. She goes around the crib, playing with the Pooh, the bolsters, the sheet, even kelambu. She will call me when she is bored and the bed is already at its finest messiness -___-.

The only one who longs to sleep together in one bed is le husband. He really likes to bring Langit to.our bed and end up sleeping by himself while the baby is still playing around. That is how the reality is different from the expectation.

On this eleven months, she sleeps once after breakfast or morning snack, after lunch, and the night sleep around 7-8. Before feeding, sleeping was something that I was being really strict about. Up until 6 months old, she rarely went outside. When I had something to attend to, it would do according to her sleeping time. When guest were coming, I wouldn’t allow them to wake her up for the sake of their want to play with her. Even to my mother in-law.

Why? It took so long until she fell asleep. Long breastfeeding and it was exhausting. I needed to recharge until the next waking time came. It wasn’t funny to play with a baby whose mother put lots of effort to make her sleep. The guest would leave once they finished playing, and what about me? I should repeat the whole process from the very start, all by myself. Wasn’t it a bit cruel?

But, recently, I have been very much flexible, especially during daytime. Like yesterday, when my in-laws came and she just slept for 15 minutes after lunch  I allowed them to wake her up to play. It was because I knew she would sleep again later. And it was true.

Well, that is all. It’s 6.30 already and I still haven’t heard any sound. I starts feeling anxious since it’s late and I haven’t even started my first battle in the morning. Sigh.

Bonne journée!

Posted in Uncategorized

Bathroom Quote

Bathroom is often being a place where lots of thinking happened.

This morning, some random circumstances in the family make me come up with this thinking :

When your skills aren’t even half-good as the talented one, the only thing that left is double your stubborness and work ten times harder. That way you might catch them up. Yes, might. Some people are born with those pure luck who couldn’t be beaten even by the hardest work.

But, one thing to be sure, no talent shows good results without any hard work.”

Happy Sunday!

Posted in Langit Senja, Review

Cerita DSA (di Sam Marie Basra)

Entah kenapa kok lebih susah ya nulis pake bahasa Indonesia daripada bahasa Inggris. Dari tadi bolak-balik ketik-hapus karena ngerasa aneh sendiri bacanya-__-.

Mau sedikit cerita tentang DSAnya Langit. Di Sam Marie Basra (SMB), selain dokter obgyn dan fetomaternal, ada beberapa spesialis lain seperti anak, penyakit dalam, kulit kelamin, andrologi, dan gigi. Nah, uniknya, lagi-lagi, selain Obgyn, spesialis lain di SMB itu jumlahnya maksimal dua, sepengetahuan saya terakhir kesana. Mungkin karena memang pasien yang tidak terlalu banyak jadi kebutuhannya pun juga ngga banyak.

Dokter spesialis anak di SMB pun juga hanya dua : dr. R. Lia Mulyani, SpA dan dr. Cut Badriah SpA. Dokternya Langit yang mana?

Dua-duanya:)

Waktu lahir, Langit dibantu sama dr Lia sampai kira-kira empat bulan. Beliau cukup komunikatif dan ngga buat saya takut atau males nanya, dan yang saya suka ngga cepat memutuskan untuk kasih obat, sufor atau opname.

Waktu pulang melahirkan, bilirubin Langit dalam keadaan normal, tapi ketika kontrol seminggu kemudian naik jadi 16. Liat ambil darah dan hasil tes darah itu ngga pernah menyenangkan ya.

Saya tau kalo bilirubin tinggi itu bayi harus disinar. Tapi, yang saya ngga tau adalah kalo disinar itu harus diopname, bayinya. Ibunya pulang. Liat angka segitu saya masih berpikir ‘ooh mungkin bisa disinar sebentar aja ditungguin’.

Waktu hasil tes darah menunjukan angka 16, dokter Lia bilang ini masih bisa diusahain tanpa sinar. Jemur tiap pagi, susuin sesering mungkin. Nanti beberapa hari kita liat lagi. Denger itu lega bukan main.

Di rumah, Pak dokter tiba-tiba bilang, ” Alhamdulillah ya ngga harus opname”.

Saya pun heran dan nanya balik,    ” Lho, emang kenapa harus opname?”

“Lah, kalo harus disinar ya harus opname. Bayinya aja. Ibunya ngga. Nanti kalo mau nyusu ya bisa ibunya dateng atau pake ASIP”.

Kalo tadi di dokter saya ngerasa lega bukan main, abis denger kalimat pak dokter, saya bahkan pengen peluk dr Lia. Ngga abis-abis saya bersyukur untuk keputusannya. Saya ngga kebayang harus pulang tanpa Langit. Ngebayanginnya aja bikin nangis.

Setelahnya, saya benar-benar nyusuin Langit sesering mungkin. Jam tujuh pagi udah buka pintu depan lebar-lebar. Taro Langit di ayunan rotan tanpa baju. Selama beberapa minggu, ngga ada hari yg terlewat tanpa berjemur. Saya jemur lebih lama dari yang seharusnya. Di luar itu, karena masih nyusu-tidur-nyusu-tidur, kalo Langit tidur terlalu lama saya angkat dari box dan nyusuin. Alhamdulillah, setelah beberapa hari keliatan badannya sudah ngga kuning lagi. Tapi, berjemur tetap jalan setiap hari.

Sebulan kemudian kontrol, ada lagi yang bikin patah hati. Berat badan Langit naiknya kurang. Memang keliatan kurus banget buat saya. Saya terus terang takuuut sekali kalo sampe disuruh tambah sufor. Saya ngga anti sufor, tapi, saya pengen sekali itu benar-benar jadi pilihan paling bawah dan akhir yang kalo bisa ngga kelihatan sama mata saya, sehingga saya akan ngusahain ASI saya seakan-akan ngga ada pilihan lain.

Alhamdulillahnya, Lagi-lagi dr Lia bilang, ” coba kita liat lagi dalam dua minggu ya, kalo naiknya masih sedikit mungkin harus dipertimbangkan untuk nambah (sufor). Coba lebih sering nyusunya, ibu juga diperbaiki makannya”. Lega bukan main bagian kedua. Setidaknya jawaban dia ngga menutup harapan saya.

Waktu itu, tanpa bermaksud mencari pembenaran, saya benar-benar lagi kacau sekali. Pak dokter di luar kota sebulan, dan mbak yang sudah di rumah selama 18 tahun kerja dan masakin semua yang keluarga saya makan di rumah dari makan utama sampai kue2, keluar.

Saya benar-benar kaya zombie waktu itu. Makan,tidur,istirahat ngga ada yang bener. Dan itu berlangsung selama beberapa minggu sampe saya dapet pengganti (yang jauuuhhhhh banget dalam segala hal dari yang sebelumnya). Tapi, saya ngga peduli selama bisa sedikit ringanin beban, dan Langit bisa ngejar ketinggalannya. Alhamdulillah berhasil.

Langit pindah DSA ketika empat bulan. Ini tanpa disengaja. Dokter Lia dan Dokter Cut praktek setiap hari dari Senin-Sabtu. Dr Lia praktek pagi di hari Senin, Rabu,Jumat, dan Sabtu sedangkan dr Cut hari Selasa dan Kamis. Jadwal siangnya adalah kebalikannya.Jadwal pagi jam 10.00-14.00 sedangkan jadwal siang 14.00-18.00.

Satu hari itu, ternyata mereka tukar shift dan saya ngga diberitahu sampai saya datang ke RS. Karena sudah terlanjur datang, saya pikir ngga masalah ganti dokter sekali. Toh cuma buat vaksin aja.

Pertemuan pertama sama dr Cut ternyata sangat menyenangkan. Salah satu kelebihannya adalah orangnya detil banget. Tanpa kita tanya, dia jelasin semuanya. Sebelum suntik vaksinnya dia kasih liat boxnya masih segel, tanggal kadaluarsanya, bahkan, range harganya. Suka!

Waktu itu mau vaksin PCV, dia jelaskan dulu kalo ada dua jenis, PCV 10 dan 13, yang mana jelas yang 13 lebih lengkap dan tentunya lebih mahal. Beliau tidak memaksakan harus yang 13, tetapi menyarankan kalo memang sudah dibudgetkan khusus vaksin, sebaiknya ambil yang lengkap. Soal ini saya setuju. Sama2 vaksin, sama2 sakit disuntik, kalo bisa kasih yang lebih baik, kenapa ngga. Uangnya bisa dicari.

Selain itu, beliau juga ngga pernah lupa sesuatu yang buat saya penting, yang belakangan saya tau kalo ngga semua DSA melakukan ini. Apa itu? Memplot berat dan tinggi badan plus ukuran lingkar kepala ke kurva pertumbuhan bayi. Di kurva itu, tergambar dengan jelas apakah Langit tetap dalam batas gizi baik atau ada yang harus diperbaiki. Makanya,menurut saya ini penting buat dilakukan oleh DSA.

Mungkin ternyata memang jalannya harus pindah ke dr Cut karena bulan berikutnya saya nambah jam kerja yang mana harinya bentrok dengan jadwal praktek pagi dr Lia. Saya ngga pernah kontrol siang dan hari Sabtu. Ngga ada yang nemenin karena saya nyetir harus ada yang gendong Langit.

Alhamdulillah sejauh ini semuanya oke sama dr Cut. On time, ngga buru-buru, sangat informatif, dan kebetulan, pak dokter kenal juga karena beberapa kali pernah baksos bareng pas masih S1 dan dr Cut masih jadi residen. Bahkan, pak dokter semangat banget cerita kl dr Cut ini salah satu residen yang aktif banget ikut baksos dan ngga pernah mau dibayar. Oya, selain sebagai DSA, dr Cut juga duduk di managerial SMB, kalo saya ngga salah sebagai direktur pelayanan. Ditilik dari namanya pun kemungkinan masih familinya Prof Jacoeb ya jadi wajar kalo beliau juga menjabat di managerial.

Salah satu hal yang paling saya syukuri selama hampir setahun ini, Langit hanya datang ke DSA ketika jadwal vaksinnya. Alhamdulillah selama ini selalu sehat, dan belum pernah ngerasain ngga enaknya obat dan itu ngga lepas dari peran DSAnya. Semoga selalu sehat dan kebaikan DSAnya dibalas oleh Allah.

Semoga ini bisa membantu kalo ada yang perlu DSA di sekitar jakarta timur. Kalo saya ditanya orang, lebih pilih yang mana, saya akan jawab,

“Cuma ada dua, praktek tiap hari. Kenapa ngga coba dua-duanya dan putusin  mana yang cocok dengan ibu dan anaknya?”

Sepatu saya belum tentu pas di kaki orang lain kan ya?:)

Posted in The Big Three

Books Adventure

I used to read and buy lots of books. Bookstore had been my favorite place to go and to spend my money since I was little. Well, I am still little now, but also older.

My reading adventure began at the third grade of elementary. My first love was Girl Talk which I borrowed from a friend. I fell in love in an instant with Sabrina, Katie, Randy, and Allison. I felt like having new (imaginary) bestfriends and a whole playground for my self.

After one book, I went to the bookstore to buy the next series. For few years, I was religiously waiting its next books. The excitement of visiting bookstore and saw the newest serial was there were one of the happiest childhood memories.

Along with Girl Talk, also came several serials like The Babysitter Club, Sweet Valley Kids-High. Enid Blyton serials were a must read too. From Malory Towers, The Twins who went to girls boarding school which I forgot the title, and The Naughty Girl. Oh! Just googled it. It was St Claire’s, the school of the twins.

Little House series were on my favorite lists too. I had complete sets of it. From the first book until the last. I treasured this one a lot. Only few I think who read this one. If you went to the bookstore, you wouldn’t find it easily unless you really looked for it.

Went up to junior high school, my aunt introduced me to Agatha Christie’s. My first encountered was with And Then There Were None and I fell in love once again. I started reading other Agatha Christie books my aunt had. Amongst my favorite were The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, Crooked House, and of course the last case of Hercule Poirot, Curtain.

After Agatha Christie’s, I stopped buying new books since I didn’t find any books which captured my interest. Then, Harry Potter came on my senior high school years. It felt so great to be back. Reading a new good book and the best part was it had few series so it gave me something to be waited for. I collected all Harry Potter series both English and Indonesian versions.

It was on the second year of high school when I first met le husband and book was the first thing we had in common. Mine and his were totally different. His were those books which I found not interesting, well, at first. He introduced me to Ayu Utami’s Saman and Larung and Pramoedya’s Bumi Manusia series. I liked the latter much better. Ayu Utami wasn’t and will never be my favorite. I was never into it, although I couldn’t say I liked Pramoedya’s much too. Those were not my cup of tea. But, since he insisted, I had all those four books. The power of liking someone. Hahaha.

During my college years, Dee Lestari’s Supernova came. Although it was already available since my high school years and le husband had already suggested me reading it. But, after his suggestions on Ayu Utami’s and Pramoedya, I prefered not following. Sorry, Yobo.

I didn’t start Dee’s with the first one. I fell in love first with her third one, Petir. Elektra was my favorite character. Then, I red Akar and Ksatria, Putri, dan Bintang Jatuh. I didn’t all Dee’s book. Other than Supernova, I like her Perahu Kertas better.

After Dee’s, I met Ika Natassa’s. Again, it wasn’t the first book also, but her second, Divortiare. I loved Divortiare. It was fun, witty, and very-well written. I also read other books from her but nothing impressed me much. I haven’t checked her newest one, Critical Eleven.

This one is my last favorite but obviously not the least, Ilana Tan. I love her season series very very much. Summer in Seoul, Autumn in Paris, Winter in Tokyo, and Spring in London, I had all those four. Once again, I didn’t start with the first one but the second one. To be honest, this Ilana Tan’s series deserves another post about this. Maybe later. She just released a new book, Once in a Blue Moon and I haven’t read it.

Other than those ones above, I read several good books such Tony Parsons’, Little Women series, Laskar Pelangi Tetralogy and several books without series. I really love book series. That is also why I prefer dramas than movies.

Book series and dramas give me something to be waited for. It give me a chance to learn from characters intensely and slowly. You begin develop feeling for something or someone when you have daily or regular encounter with them. Then you’re getting engaged and after sometime you may married to the characters without you realize it

Along the journey, it enriches your minds, gives joy to your soul, and once you fall, the good ones stay in your heart forever.

May the good books always be with us. 

Posted in Langit Senja, Maternité

MPASI Updates 2

Here are some of updates of Langit’s eating experiences after five months starting her first food :

1. Eating is went well, alhamdulillah. Not easy at all, but still manageable.

2.  Eating Rules are still applicable. All those five rules are truly my principle of bearable feeding.

3. Langit has been mostly eating what the adults eat for the last two months. Only the texture needs a little bit adjustment.

4. Her food is nothing fancy like Salmon or any expensive ingredients. She eats what is available. Meat, chicken, any kind of fish like bandeng, tongkol, tuna, kakap, gurame, nila, even cuek. Yes, you read it right, ikan cuek. All is good.

5. Tofu or tahu is almost always available and be present in everyday meal at least once.

6. Compulsory fruit is Avocado. Given between breakfast and lunch. The other fruits are replacable such as mango, papaya, melon. Those are given together during breakfast before she eats her main course.

7. The last meal the day is flexible. It’s either fish tofu porridge, macaroni chicken cheese, or sweet potato oatmeal. Usually, it comes with a glass of orange squash if it is available.

8. I don’t do BLW. Almost never.

9. Glad no allergic signs appears until now.

10. My patience has been so much upgraded.

Keep fighting!

Posted in Langit Senja

The Eleventh, Thirtieth, and Thirty-first

It’s one special post since I’m combining three numbers in one post.

Le husband and I share the same month for our birthday by five days interval. By next week insya Allah, I’ll turn 31, the following week le husband will turn 30 and the little baby will be eleven months old.

Langit has been improving a lot since last month. Crawling faster, grabbing and throwing things, and she started eager learning to walk. She is also getting engaged to her toys and exploring it. She actually has only few toys since I am pretty petty when it comes to toys, beside I am lazy. Lazy to tidy it up when she finishes playing.

In speaking, she still hasn’t uttered any words, but she is making more and more (funny) sounds. But, she has already recognized when someone call her name, she will directly turn her head.

Something concern me lately about Langit’s first birthday. Honestly, I am not really into a birthday party. More, a birthday party like those which I often see on the internet. I have several reasons to not to do it.

First, I am not sure whether I can prepare it alone. I won’t expect anyone else to help me even le husband since his schedule is pretty uncertain and tight. Then, others can say, just hire some people to help. Who? The party planner? That will become my second reason, we have no enough budget for this.

The third reason, there’s almost no other babies and kids to be invited other than two babies cousins from my sister and le husband’s brother. So, what’s the point of having a children party when the babies even don’t get it.

Instead, I intend to take others to have lunch out to a good restaurant. It is especially dedicated to those who have been so much help along this first tough year. We three won’t be able to make this far and this good if it is not because of others’ help. So, I want to sincerely say thank you, although merely a lunch will never be able to repay all those kindness we receive.

Well, let see whether my intention will work according to my plan.

For now, Happy eleven months, baby-kun! I love you big time:*

image
See how sok tau this baby, climbing, grabbing, while squatting
image
Eatung styles from the beginning until the end
Posted in Past learning, The Big Three

A Home, Once Upon A Time

I can’t help writing this right after accidentally found an old photo on Instagram. It was taken five years ago. An old photo of me and my students back when I was teaching at my first school.

I always love teaching. Spesifically, teaching high-grader elementary students. Why? My best chemistry is with those between 4-6 graders.

After graduated, I knew where I wanted to work. Long before graduated, I always wanted to work at an Islamic school. A modern one where English is widely used but still keep its religious environment. I had pictured my self being a teacher at that kind of school for a very long time.

But, I didn’t get right after I got my bachelor certificate. I was pushed to apply for a real office job. For my parents at that time, working at school is not a real job. I was accepted few times at several real office ( I use the term real office to emphasize it), but it just never felt right. I just felt I really didn’t belong there at all. That was why, beside those real office applications I sent, I secretly sent few others to the schools that I found suitable with my dream.

It was already the seventh month after I graduated and still hadn’t installed in any real offices nor schools. I didn’t remember how many applications that I had sent, interviews, but still, it wasn’t for me yet.

Until one friday afternoon, I saw the advertisement on newspaper telling about an Islamic school looking for teachers. When I saw the location, the distance was pretty near from home. I rarely sent hardcopy applications since it took time and more efforts to go to post it. But, that one, without really knowing why, I did send it by post on the next day.

Maybe that was what you call jodoh. I sent my application on Saturday morning, I was phoned by the school on Monday, asking for doing paper test. Thus, I came. The next day, another phone call from the school, asking me for an interview with school psychologist. I came once again. It didn’t stopped there, the very next day they asked me to come again to have an interview with the principal. It was going smooth. Somehow, at that point, I really couldn’t believe that I kept going for three days in a row as if nothing stopped me to be here. Thursday was no call. And, Friday, finally there was one once more asking to do an interview with the school director. The final interview about salary negotiation. Then, that was it. Both parties agreed. I really got the job that I really wanted only within a week.

Believe it or not, I didn’t tell my parents about this until I really made it. I had come so far following their request to apply to those real offices. This one and this time, I couldn’t let go when it just already in front of my eyes and it was real.

I started working the next Monday. Who says if you are doing what you love every work will feel easy? It wasn’t for me. It took me sometime until I could get used with the school work and environment. Working at school wasn’t merely about teaching. We had to do other things such class administration, class decoration, etc , which I found not too pleasant. Haha.

After sometimes, I started enjoying my time. It slowly become and felt like home for me. I got my spirit every morning knowing I’ll meet the students, teaching, and other things. Alhamdulillah, I also got a great partner.

What hasn’t been written here is, I was freshly broken-hearted at the same time. A severe one, which I won’t put it here since it is another very long story.

Coming to this school was surely one way to overcome that pain. My students kept me busy and they were ones that really made my days. As a six grade teacher, I often had to stay late because of additional time for several students, which I didn’t really mind at all. The less I spent at home, the better. I cried too much if I stayed at home.

I had my french course every Tuesday and Friday evening which made me stay late more at school. On that two days, I didn’t leave the school until 5.15 pm where everyone was almost left. I stayed in my class browsing, or simply resting on the carpet.I did shower, prayed, made a glass of tea, then I left. It felt truly like I went to the french course from home. It was a very long day to go, but you know, it wasn’t hard at all. I felt so full and happy.

I went to several field trips with my students. Again, although that was pretty exhausting, but I felt happy. Lots of good things happened there. Like I was once chosen as one of the most favorite teacher by my students. I had my pictured displayed and got money prize. It wasn’t much but it meant a lot and it stayed for a very long time on my good memories shelf.

I remembered one day when the national exam result was out. It was a bright day and my heart was so warm reading all those result. Even warmer when my subject got the highest among three. It felt all the hard works was paid-off very well.

My students were funny, nice and easy to get along with. We conversed like we were bestfriends. Especially for the boys. They said I looked too young to be their teacher. I thanked them for such compliment;))

Other thing beside compliments that I few times received there were marriage proposals. Hahaha, it was confusing yet, somehow made me laugh. I was an ordinary one, not socializing a lot, but surprisingly noticable, hehe. More than that, how did they know I had just broken up?;))

Maybe the happiness felt there was conveyed through my body language. Since I felt happy, I also felt pretty and it happened that others saw it too since I often heard people said that. Yeah, who wouldn’t be happy to receive those compliments saying that you were pretty?;)

I stayed there for 2,5 years before I quitted to continue master degree abroad. I had those great time as I imagined before. I healed my broken-heart almost completely thanks to that school. I found comfort that I didn’t find at home during those hard times.

One that gives you comfort, shouldn’t be it called…

Home?

Yes, it should.