I really love sunny Sunday Morning, especially when I have nothing to be done later. My mind wander here and there, think about many things. It’s quite enjoyable.
This morning I decided writing after having some conversations with little brother about pursuing a degree abroad.
I talked quite much since I had been there. Doing all the process about that for more than a year. That was one of my most-alive moments in my life. The times when you felt so excited everytime you woke up in the morning knowing that you had something to do. It was a journey to make your dream came true.
I did all the research thoroughly. From choosing universities, practising IELTS, searching for scholarships,etc. I spent hours in front of that old computer before went to work or after, and sometimes until late at night.
My 6,5-IELTS-score was the most proud real result of those hard work that I have been doing during that time. I couldn’t afford to take a preparation class due to time and yeah,money constraint. I actually could ask my father to lend me some, but I chose not to. I thought that I could save the money for other purposes and better made some time to practice it alone since the resources were available on the internet.
So I sat every morning,literally every morning,after subuh working on almost every IELTS preparation tests available online for an hour. At first, it seemed so difficult and made me think and re-think that I was not be able to do this unless someone taught me. But, still, I kept working on it every morning and the score started progressing.
In spite of all those efforts, until just few days before the test, my score was still quite lower than 6,5. I became a little bit anxious. Wondering whether I had really tried my best. Questioned my self often, what a-3-million-rupiahs meant for taking a preparation class if it worked better to make your dream realized than suffered for days doing it alone, altough I didn’t have to spend any money. I could earn some money again later, but the time would not return.
For me, having a-6,5-IELTS-score was extremely important and urgent at that time. It couldn’t wait any longer. The clock was ticking. If I failed, than I might have had to give it up until I didn’t know when.
At the same time as I was studying hard for it,since the test quite costly too, (it was about USD 180 or around 2 million rupiahs), I was working from Monday to Sunday. Yes kids, from Monday to Sunday, you read it right. In three different places : Elementary school, music school, and teaching private piano to an expat on Sunday. Didn’t I feel tired? If the question was asked now, I wouldn’t even dream about working that crazily. But back then, it was nothing about feeling tired. I was enjoying all of that since I knew I had a bigger purpose of doing it more than merely just the money.
The test were taken on a Saturday morning. I made special time to do it since saturday was actually my teaching day at music school. So I had replaced it on another day before.
I remembered when I arrived at the test venue, it was quite nerve-wracking. I didn’t know it would be that crowded. The queue was very long for registration and they were very strict that we couldn’t be late.
Thankfully, the registration was quite smooth. Then, the second anxiety came. I saw people reading book everywhere while I wasn’t bring any at all. I never study when it is the day of the exam. It makes me more nervous.
It was even worse when I heard some people next to me talking that it was their second or third time retaking the test after attending the preparation class. How could I not feel so agitated hearing those things? If they were failing after taking class and so on, then what about me?:|
Not for long, they started calling names to enter the room. Then, the things started to fall nicely in its place.
When they called my name, I was appointed to a small room, not a big hall, which the less people the better, so you could be more focus.
Next best thing was they had also prepared for the seat. We could not choose by ourself where we wanted to sit. Mine? I got a front-row middle seat with both audio speakers next to me. One in my left and another one on my right. It was truly Allah’s helping hand worked there.
The luck didn’t stop there. I nailed the listening and structure section since I could hear everything clearly. When I opened the reading section, 4 out of 5 reading texts were about classical music, education, and an interesting psychological article which was quite easy to understand. It was soo different with any other IELTS texts that I had been practising before which were very long and hard to understand. My smile were getting wider and wider.
It was a total Allah’s help on that day. Even the writing and speaking, I got the topics that I was really well-comprehended. Finished taking all the sections that day, I felt no regrets at all for whatever the result would be.
I received my IELTS score result exactly on my birthday. It was Friday of 23rd October.
I fetched the result during my school break time. Had the anxiety since morning. It was the day that would tell me whether I could continue or had to stop. The result would decide where my life would be in the following year. It made all the difference.
I arrived at the venue around 12 pm. It was very hot sunny day. While walking towards the venue, I kept soothing my self when the result was not as I expected. Keep talking that I had tried all my best with all the resources I had. Then, if it was not now, maybe Allah saved another better time later in the future. But, deep down inside, I knew it would be pretty heart-breaking if I failed. I surely would be 1000%.
I took a very long and deep breath when I received the result on my hand before opening it. When I opened the envelope, and saw that 6,5 score and other scores were all 6,0 and some section above that, I couldn’t help crying. I couldn’t believe that I really make it. As if you were freed from a heavy burden after few weeks. It was beyond words to express how it felt.
I returned to school with so much lighter heart, knowing that the hope was really there and it was getting real and near. Could not help stop smiling for the rest of the day. That day, I had given my self the best birthday gift I could receive during 25 years of my life.
I finally made it to go abroad on December 2010. A year after the test. It wasn’t europe as I longed for, but it was even a better place that was chosen for me.
So kids, always remember this :
If it is really your dream, you won’t be making any excuses to make it happened. You will really try to find any possible way to make it.
Work hard and patience will never fail you. It will always be paid.
Do your best of the best, Allah will SURELY takes care all the rest.
End of a lesson today.
A Penny for My Pensieve 