Posted in Places, Postgraduate Malaysia, Travel

Sedikit tentang Kuala Lumpur

I intend to write in Bahasa, i don’t know whether it will be good enough (for me) or not. But, let’s have a try.

Selama satu setengah tahun tinggal di Malaysia, untuk ukuran full-time student, saya bisa dibilang tergolong ‘malas’ jalan-jalan. Tiap ada libur sebentar, yang dipikirin cuma cari tiket pulang ke Jakarta. Ngga usah libur lama, seminggu libur aja, langsung heboh cari tiket dari jauh-jauh hari.

Tiap pagi buka laptop, semua tab isinya cuma airlines website. Bandingin sana-sini, iya kalo langsung beli dan beres, ini ngga, ditungguin berhari-hari, kepikiran, bikin perasaan ngga enak, baru akhirnya beli. Padahal, kalau dipikir-pikir, uang yang dikeluarin buat bolak-balik Jakarta selama 1,5 tahun ini, bisa buat traveling ke negara tetangga kaya Thailand atau Singapur misalnya. Biarpun Singapur memang sudah pernah, dan ngga terlalu tertarik juga untuk kesana kedua kali.

Mungkin yang paling sering saya kunjungi selama disini adalah, ya, Kuala Lumpur,hehe. Ada beberapa tempat yang hampir saya selalu datengin, buat belanja, atau makan :

1. Sogo KL

Ini favorit banget karena affordable dan barang-barangnya pun oke. Dan yang paling suka, kalo majang tulisan SALE, beneran niat SALE. Ga kaya mal-mal lain yang bilang SALE tapi ya kaya ga SALE. Beli dompet 2x disini, beli kado buat beruang disini, mau beli oleh-oleh biskuit, coklat pun di sini.

Dulu, sebelum ngerti cara yang murah ke sini dr kampus, selalu naik Monorail yang merupakan alat transportasi yang paling mahal di antara moda transportasi lain di KL. Tapi, setelah diperhatikan,ternyata ada yang lebih murah. Naik KTM komuter dari Serdang sampai stasiun Kuala Lumpur (satu stasiun setelah KL sentral), setelah itu jalan sedikit ke belakang Kasturi Walk, disana banyak bus-bus metro yang siap nganterin ke Sogo dengan hanya RM 1 saja.

Bandingin dulu pas cuma tau naik monorail, ongkos yang diperluin buat PP kampus -Sogo itu kalo dijabarin KTM RM 1,7, Monorail RM 2,5, jadi pulang pergi sekitar RM 8,4, itu pun kalo beruntung ke kampusnya pas dapet naik bis kampus yang gratis, kalo ngga tambah RM 2 lagi buat naik bis T 416 dari UPM ke komuter Serdang. Jadi, kalo ditotal bisa RM 10 sendiri, yang mana, mahal lah ya buat ukuran mahasiswa (yang agak pelit kaya saya). Kalo dibeliin makanan, uda banyak bener kan,hehe.

Nah, setelah belajar dari kebodohan kesalahan dan mulai memperhatikan serta mempelajari, ternyata dengan naik bus metro lebih cepet, dan yang terpenting murah! Total biaya transport yang musti dikeluarin buat ke Sogo PP jadi cuma RM 5,6 saja. Lumayan kan bedanya. Buat saya si, jauhhhh,hehe.

2. Mid Valley Shopping Mall

Ini adalah salah satu mal yang paling ramai, menurut pengamatan saya. Hari biasa, apalagi weekend, Mid Valley kayanya ngga pernah sepi. Mal ini juga salah satu yang cukup dekat dari UPM dan lengkap. Makanan bervariasi, departemen store juga ada beberapa pilihan. Merek-mereknya pun beragam, dari yang agak menengah ke atas sampe yang toko pernak pernik kecil di gerobak. Kalo kuat jalan keliling di sini, cari dengan hati-hati, suka ketemu barang-barang fancy dengan harga yang buat saya oke banget. Kalau ROC habis juga biasanya dapet disini, karena ngga semua mal ada ROCnya.

Transport kesini ada dua pilihan. Saya tergantung dari kampusnya dapat bis apa. Kalau bis UPM datang duluan, berarti saya naik komuter, tapi kalau bis T 416 datang duluan, naik bis. Mid Valley punya stasiun komuter sendiri yang terhubung langsung dengan malnya. Jadi, begitu keluar kereta, jalan sedikit di dalam stasiunnya, naik lift, sampe deh di dalem malnya. Makanya, saya hampir selalu naik komuter, karena lebih praktis.

Tiap kali ke Mid Valley atau SOGO, saya merasa kaya lihat peradaban,hehe. Serasa kaya turis yang lagi liburan. Biarpun dikategorikan turis juga terlalu kere. Makanya selalu pilih di akhir bulan, karena musti lihat sisa budget bulan itu ada berapa. Hahaha, kesian bener ya:D.

3. Rumah makan sebelah Hotel Prescott Inn, Jalan Tuanku Ismail

Pertama tau rumah makan ini karena nginep di Prescott Inn pas pertama kali mau daftar ulang, bareng Ibu dan Dian. Masakannya, enaaakkkk. Bawal asam manisnya, kailan, cumi, pokoknya enak deh. Ini kaya warteg versi Malaysia yang nyediain makanan sehari, cuma bentuknya ya kaya restoran, dan yang paling penting, harganya, ck,ck,ck, murah benerr. Oh!Kalau di Malaysia mereka nyebutnya Kedai Mamak.

4. Kedai roti cane di Jalan Tun Sambathan

Ketemu kedai ini ngga sengaja pas lagi jalan berdua ibu yang waktu itu mau cari susu segar, eh, muter-muter tau2 ketemu resto kecil ini yang jual susu segar juga. Pesen susu segar, iseng mau nyobain roti canenya juga. eh, ternyata enak! Terakhir kali pulang, Ibu minta dibawain ke Jakarta, lumayan juga bawanya,hehe. Enaknya lagi, tempatnya bersih. Makanannya kaya Kedai Mamak, cuma tempatnya enak buat duduk-duduk, karena bersih dan ber-AC. Harga pun menurut saya cukup reasonable.

Restoran ini letaknya agak nyempil. Sederet sama stasiun monorail, kalau dari arah KL Sentral berarti sebelum stasiun monorail.

5. Old Town White Coffee Restaurant

Ini restoran tempat kita sarapan kalau nginep di MY Hotel Kuala Lumpur karena emang hotelnya kerja sama dengan Old Town yang letaknya persis di sebelah MY Hotel. Makanannya buat saya, dan keluarga, enak. Nasi lemaknya salah satu yang paling enak yang pernah saya makan selama di sana. Tempatnya pas buat ngopi-ngopi, ada yang outdoor dan indoor. Old Town juga merek kopi yang biasa diminum Ibu. Kalau ke Jakarta, pasti minta dibeliin barang 5 bungkus, dengan rasa yang beda-beda. Restoran ini relatif gampang dicari, karena hampir setiap mal punya ini. Kaya KFC aja lah.

6. Egg Tart KFC

Saya ngga suka junk food. Hampir ngga pernah ke KFC selama di Jakarta. Tapi, di KFC Malaysia, mereka punya Egg Tart!

Egg Tartnya, dua kata aja, : ENAK BANGET. Seriously, enak. Bayanginnnya aja ngiler. No further explanations.

7. Pasar Seni
Tempat ini cocok buat yang mau cari oleh-oleh dari Malaysia. Bangunan dua lantai berisi toko2 souvenir, coklat, dan lain-lain. Souvenir khas kaya magnet, miniatur, kaos, gantungan kunci ada semua disini. Buat coklat ada satu stand khusus coklat jual Beryl’s yang merupakan coklat produksi malaysia. Kalo saya ngga salah ingat, di sini juga ada Tourism Centre.

Sepertinya cuma segitu aja yang paling saya sering datengin selama di KL. Agak kesian sih, Satu setengah tahun di sana taunya itu-itu aja. Tapi, ya, gimana dong. Saya ngga pernah pergi kalau nggak ada kepentingan. I’d rather stay at dorm, watching movie,hehe. Tapi mungkin alesan sebenernya karena ya kere aja, hahaha:))

Sebenarnya, selain Kuala Lumpur, saya juga pernah ke beberapa negara bagian kaya Melaka, Johor Baru, dan Penang. Tapi, ngga bisa cerita banyak.

Melaka udah dua kali. Buat saya ini agak lucu. Pertama tahun 2008, waktu pergi sama Tante Lili. Ke Melaka sendiri, ikut rombongan tur, bayar RM 100 (kalo saya inget pas masih kuliah dulu, ngeluarin RM 100 dalam sehari cuma buat jalan-jalan kok tajir bener yaa,hehe). Berangkat jam 9 pagi, sampe KL lagi jam 5 sore. Waktu itu, pas banget lagi patah hati berat. Ini yang lucu. Empat tahun kemudian, saya ke Melaka lagi, one day trip juga, bukan sama rombongan tur. Tapi, sama orang yang bikin patah hati empat tahun lalu. Orangnya kebetulan lagi liburan. Dan, statusnya pas dateng juga udah pacar-serius-yang-udah-ngelamar-ke orangtua.Life is indeed funny;)

Ke Johor Baru dua kali, itupun karena roomate yang pertama orang Malaysia, a very very nice and kind girl, rumahnya di JB. Pertama kesana karena sepupunya nikah. Yang kedua kesana karena jalan-jalan aja. Ngga kemana-kemana, jadi ngga bisa cerita apa-apa.

Ke Penang one day trip juga sekeluarga, karena dapet tiket murah Air Asia. Tapi, kayanya bisa dianggep liburan gagal, karena kayanya kurang cocok sama peserta liburannya,hehe.

Kangen kesana, tapi, ngga tau kapan lagi bisa kesana. Semoga lebih cepat dari yang bisa saya bayangin. Amin.

Oh, KL also had been mum’s favorite destination after once she’d been there. Being there once more later without her, must be kinda sad..

Posted in Uncategorized

Lost?

What I’ve been doing?

Where am I heading to?

What are my next goals?

Lately, I just feel lost. If someone ask me How’s life?

Then I’d probably answer :Umm.. i’m..lost?

Is it true that losing your loved one(s) can literally make you feel lost?

I do feel that. I’m no longer have dreams that make me feel excited to pursue, to make it real happened. Paris, Milan, Barcelona are no longer giving me stomach-ache by remembering them, of how much I really want to be there before this.

I thought of how great it will be to be a mother. But now, I just feel anxious every time I think about it. Not that I don’t want to be one, but the thought of raising child(ren) is quite frightening,now.

Work?Just refused another good opportunity. No regret.

I feel like trapped in my own body and mind.

And I miss my mum.

Badly.Boldly.

Posted in Thoughts

Looking Back

.. all the things happened last year.

Have been reading through all posts. Really can’t believe that 9 months can change someone’s life, drastically.

9 months, 3 huge loss. You call that a lot.

A Grandmother, an uncle, a mother. I call it too much. Too much for such heart to bear.

On other hand,

6 months, 3 huge blessing.

Master Degree, Hajj on 27th birthday, and Wedding.

People said it was a very big luck. I considered and asked,” Are those the trade-off?In order to gain something, u have to lose something”.

I got three, I lost three.

Lesson learned in a very hard way.

For me, I still don’t feel ok about losing my two sunshines and a star. I don’t know that the price of getting all those blessing would be that high.

Maybe up there, Allah said to me,

“You can’t have it all my dear. I fulfilled all, ALL, your wishes this year. And it’s not merely simple wish, you ask big ones. Think how many people have a chance to have all those three huge things in a year?Rare, isn’t?Very rare.
Thus, What I take from you will also equal with those I will give to you”.

And no proper answer i can give for that. At least, for now..

Posted in Uncategorized

A’int no sunshine

..when she’s gone

It’s true. My life has been just fine these days. fine.

Even after a month, these eyes are still so teary every time i remember her. any single things about her.

I miss her more on Fridays. My mind keeps flashing back to that black friday. It’s literally black, the sky, the atmosphere of the room. Everything.

Let’s go back.

I didn’t stay with her on Thursday night, that was one of two days which i didn’t stay with her. I went aerobics in Friday morning, then big bear picked me up the we went together to the hospital.

I was phoned that her doctor wanted to talk to me, which later he just wanted to say that her conditions is getting worse and it was ok to bring her home.

I kept telling big bear to hurry while he was driving. There was uncomfortable feeling inside that i couldn’t explain that made me really want to meet her soon. The doctor stood me up almost 1 hour that i really wanted to leave him.

At 11 am, i entered the room. the atmosphere was so different. It’s so quiet. Me and ts took turn. Minutes after big bear left me for Jum’at prayer. Then, there was me and her alone.

A nurse was there, checking her temperature and blood pressure. I saw her did it once, then, she did it again. It gave me a shiver, and ask how was it. She said it was 37,9 C and 90/60. I felt more more uncomfortable hearing that. She almost never had that low, the blood pressure. And I asked again, how many times it’s been checked today. She said three times.

110/70

100/60

90/60.

If i said uncomfortable before, i felt that my heart stopped beating for a while hearing that.

I used to take some nap in the sofa while took care of her, but that Friday, I didn’t. I don’t know why I didn’t. I just felt that I don’t want to leave her.

So, I kept sitting next to her bed. Reading her Yassin, repeating tahlil for times, and only break for lunch and pray. I half slept beside her, whispering to her that  big bear made it to residency, as she always wish it, rubbing her hands, watching her heavy breathing. I just couldn’t take my eyes off of her.

at 14.30, one of her dear friends came. Ask me to allow her in, I did. She was crying a lot. I did too.

This uncomfortable feeling was getting stronger after her friend went home. Even i hesitated to leave her alone for ashar prayer. Then at 16, i whispered to her ear, I wanted to pray first, a minute.

16.20, big bear came with batala. They just attended technical meeting for our reception. some minutes later, my aunt came. and, I didn’t know why, I followed her outside while she was talking with big bear.

Suddenly, batala called me, said that the nurses doing the suction. It was actually an usual medication they gave her, but i ran quickly to the room. I stood near her feet. All day long sitting next to her, I was watching the pulse in her neck beating all the time. Then I saw it.

I saw it’s no longer beating. Then my eyes caught the oxygen measurement tool in her finger, it showed 66, which normally it was between 90-92. I shouted panickedly to the nurse, i think there was a moment where i felt i was losing my brain, i just kept shouting, and ran to her ear. The nurses just realized that and hurriedly call the doctor.

What I’ve been doing in those last minuets was whispering tahlil to her ear, and crying hard. Crying hard till i wanted to vomit. Crying and shouting as loud as i could be. My dad joined me in those last minutes.

I couldn’t control my self. I keep crying and shouting until my aunt had to hold me tightly to calm me down. I ran to the bathroom because i couldn’t resist the intention to throw up all the things I felt inside. It was real. It was real that she’s gone. Forever.

The rest was history. I didn’t bother. What matter that she was no longer here.

It’s the 8th Friday since she left. I’m still crying hard. Everywhere.

Street, car, while praying, eating, name it.

All the memories about her seem so real, as if it just happened in a blink.

I bring her in everything I do, everywhere I go. I wear her veils, shoes, watch, bags. Eventough, wearing those things, will never replace how precious kissing her hand before going out, sleeping next to her watching korean drama, talking hours to her after she went home teaching in her room, hugging her and smelling her lovely scent, spending time doing many things together, which we, I and her, had a lot. Much more than anyone in the family, travelling together, again, only us, which I had more than my brother and sister. Bogor, KL, and our greatest trip together : Hajj.

But, that’s the very best I can do to keep her close. I bring her in my body, my mind, my heart. In every pray I spell.

Quoting from Yann Martel, Life of Pi :

“To lose your mother,… well, that is like losing the sun above you”

It is. There will be no more sunshine above me, ever.

Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone. It’s not warm when she’s away.

Posted in Uncategorized

They said..

” Saya iri. Benar-benar iri kepada almarhumah. Saya katakan itu kepada istri saya. Beliau meninggal di hari Jum’at. Setelah pulang haji. Masya Allah..”

She went exactly two weeks after Hajj, on Friday afternoon. I think it was in the afternoon because many people wanted to see her for the last time,since yeah, almost everybody loves her.

” Almarhumah baik sekali sama saya. Saya dibeliin ceret air, karena punya saya uda bocor”

She bought that new ceret for the woman who takes care grandma’s tomb. Just few months ago. It turned out that she bought it for herself too. To water her own. She was the one who can’t take everything ‘asal-asalan’. Subhanallah..

“Ada banyak hal saya pelajari dari almarhumah. Tapi, ada dua yang paling saya ingat. Beliau adalah orang yang sangat menjaga sholat fardhu. Dia selalu bilang bahwa kemanapun dia cuma berdoa supaya dimudahkan untuk menunaikan shalat fardhunya. Yang kedua, beliau itu selalu memikirkan orang lain. Bukan cuma saudara, tapi hampir semua orang.”

For this, I can tell a lot. For shalat, yes,she did really concern about that. Look at her bags, then we will find pantyliners in every space, since she really afraid that her underwear is dirty. Until her last days, she had to make sure times, that her pee wouldn’t spread to the bed.

As she always think about others, that’s too true. Not only family, it was literally everyone. She bought habatussauda to be given to her collegues, free, she gave a sack of rice to every tukang bajaj who sent her home, and many more.

 

Dear Bu gendut..

You must be very happy up there. Didn’t you have all of your wish fulfilled?

“Ibu ngga mau nyusahin. selalu minta jangan dikasih sakit lama-lama. Kalau sudah ngga bisa sholat dengan baik, lebih baik dipanggil”.

Ngga nyusahin.Checked.

Ngga dikasih sakit lama-lama.Checked.

Sudah ngga bisa sholat dengan baik, dipanggil. Checked.

“Ibu uda siapin semua ya. Jadi, kalian ngga usah cari-cari. Sabun,batik,handuk”.

Yes, she did prepare all of that since years ago.

This house is so empty without you. And it feels less homy. much less homy.

Me, missing you, too much..

 

Posted in Life happens

The Pain of 2012

I really don’t know how to start this.
Had my engagement on September,30.
I went for Hajj on October,19.
Returned 15 days earlier without having Arba’in in Madinah. Arrived on 15 November.

Then, I had the biggest loss of lifetime.

I had two before.
My grandma on Friday, 30 March
My uncle on Monday, 16 April

Recently, I lost… my mother.

My beloved mother. Friday, 30 November.

While my wedding is only two weeks away.

It’s …… effingly breaks my heart. like .. I don’t know.

Don’t know that there’s still a life with her gone, forever..

Posted in Uncategorized

Counting the days

This month might become one of the most important months this year.

I am waiting for my hajj departure announcement and another next best thing, I don’t really keen on saying the term, but, I couldn’t find any suitable one, so, let say, we’re having our big family meeting and engagement by the end of this month, Insya Allah.

I’ve been wondering a lot lately. Of me getting married in the next few months, Insya Allah. I’ve asked him one day, “feel scare?afraid?”

He answered, “Nope, looking forward to it”.

Me?

I can’t clearly describe it. I’ve been religiously reading many of wedding blogs since several years ago. I enjoy many of them. Often thinking that if one day will be my turn, how it would feel. At that time, tiny part of my hear answered,

“I really can’t imagine me, getting married. I even can’t imagine to whom”

And now I’m here, and almost there, somehow I still can’t really figure out, and keep asking, ” Am I really doing this?Doing all those preparations those girls did?Experiencing what they’ve been going through as well?Me?”

I feel stupid and pity my self at the same time. Feel stupid as if I’m a teenage girl by asking those questions. You’re almost 28, my dear self. Wake up.

I do wake up, in fact, I’m living it.

Or maybe is it the fact that I’m finally,truly with him, which feels unbelievable for me?

After all these long and rocky journeys we had?

He really had strong faith, and believe that one day, in the end, no matter what we had to go through, who we were to be with first,we will end up together. He told me this few years ago.

As for me, I’m not that confidence to say that. Instead, I’ve been proposing a long question, not to him, to the time to answer

“Do all of these things happen intend to show that we’re too stubborn to accept the fact that we can’t be together or as the tests of perseverance of being together for good in the end?”

Keep repeating that question for years.

And when I’m finally heading to its final answer, well, it still feels unbelieavable.

Or maybe I’m just being too melodramatic.

Whatever it is, I hope nothing but all the next best things happened and may Allah always guide me through all the way. Amin.