Category: Langit Senja

Posted in Langit Senja, Thoughts

2017

Posted on by arlanadya

Several big things marked this year as a turning point year. To call this year exciting, yes, it has been a full of new adventure one.

On Motherhood

Two big milestones achieved within few months differences. Toilet training has been unlocked since the beginning of the year. Not smooth but turned out easier than I thought it would be. First day was the hardest. The rest were manageable.

The second is weaning without night terror! Langit turned three last November and she gradually stopped being breastfed days before her birthday. After so many articles about ways of  weaning, reading and hearing from here and there, weaning is about a readiness. That would be different from one mother to another. I knew very well I wasn’t ready for weaning when she turned two. Thus, breastfeeding kept going until she turned three. Then, it just happened quite smoothly. She just stopped looking for it while the mantra had been continously repeated.

Two big milestones as a mother (and for the baby of course) checked this year. Alhamdulillah.
School starts rolling in progress. We have done a trial once to a school which we think suits her well. She nailed to survive three hours alone without any dramas. We even left her for the last an hour.

But, everything is still being considered. We have another concern about her schooling and it hasn’t been clearly decided well.

On Family

The biggest loss this year happened in February when my grandma passed away. A precious chance given to be able to accompanied her on her last breath while whispering tahlil on her ear. 

A family trip across the continent happened in April. The very first time arranging a trip to the very least details because of my father. Such a great learning from budgeting, planning, and executing it. UK trip to three cities was one of this year highlights. After having An autumn in Paris, Spring in London and made the doctor set his feet on the sacred Anfield stadium was one of the best things happened this year.

Checking one of each other’s biggest dreams unlocked.

On Relationship and Personal Growth

Entering the sixth year, marriage is surely not on my most favorite list, but just like those thirteen years of piano lesson, if I were given a chance to go back, I would take the same path, with the same person. For better or worse, whatever happen in the future, no regret for this one.

This year, the relationship grows bigger than we expect. Starting from a high school-english course friends, went through lots of things before the marriage, a married couple, then we become a bussiness partner this year.

Started from a very serious pillow talk, executing plans one by one, from July to August, we bravely started one of our personal big dreams together : running our own bussiness. It’s been only several months and we keep fighting to survive. 

Running a bussiness is very far from cool, it’s a headache and sometimes I feel like resigning and give up. Through this one, I learn to tame my own fear, to face things that I prefer avoiding before, to deal with many people, to solve problems that I would never think of before, to get my ass off from my comfortable couch and do more things other than watching korean dramas, to spend and to borrow some big amount of money beyond my narrow-minded calculations, betting on this one to be succeed. 
I really hope for more strength to survive in this jungle next year.
On Residency

I am not really sure where to put residency since it wasn’t my own thing. But then, residency is never a one man show. A long hard tough and rocky residency finally meets its end this year, to be precise, this month. It started on December 2012 and met its end on the very same month five years later. Graduation is only few months away.

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.

The plans after this one are still on progress while keep asking for the best thing to be appointed for us. Wherever, whatever and whenever it will be.

A closing 

Since 2012, heading to a new year feels pretty anxious. Not knowing what the future holds, and having one or two big plans also scare me knowing it would have come with some twists too. What secures me is only by knowing there is a much bigger strength that would keep me save from any harm that I couldn’t handle, as long as I believe and don’t give up.

Wishing for another new year blessed with more patience and strength

Posted in Langit Senja, Maternité, Thoughts

Thirty Six Months

Posted on by arlanadya

The end of breastfeeding journey.

The era of school is soon getting cool has come.

I wish nothing but your well-being to live your life until the time appointed, little girl. I won’t be forever present for you, but I hope the time when my presence exists, it matters a lot until it could cover the time during my absence.

Stay healthy and be forever happy, little girl.

An ‘I love you’ is too underrated to express how big the feeling I feel for you.

Happiest birthday to you.

Posted in Langit Senja, Maternité, Thoughts

Belajar Adil dan Sabar

Posted on by arlanadya

Jadwal saya beberapa bulan terakhir ini bertambah dan ninggalin Langit di rumah lebih banyak jadi ngga bisa dihindari. Ngga lama sih, cuma nambah sampai jam 12 tiap hari. Tapi, tetep aja waktunya lumayan berkurang, tenaga dan kesabaran pun suka tipis. Dasarnya emang tipis sih.

Dari awal setelah melahirkan, saya sudah menetapkan kalo saya hanya akan kerja di satu institusi dan part time. Sejak 2010, udah ngga pernah mau full time. Waktu saya terlalu berharga untuk terikat penuh di satu tempat dan jadi ngga bisa melakukan hal-hal lain yang saya suka dan penting (buat saya tentunya).

Tiga tahun belakangan ini saya hanya kerja seminggu tiga kali, maksimal 3 jam. Ada satu yang cuma 2 jam. Ada yang bingung ngapain kerja kaya main-main gitu. Ngurus anak kecil sendiri, ngurus orangtua dan semua urusan rumah, lebih butuh perhatian dan tenaga karena itu prioritas saya. Kerja buat sampingan aja. Kalo saya udah terlalu cape di luar rumah, yang di rumah cuma dapet ‘sisa’ dan kalo saya cape, tingkat kesabaran saya itu jadi setipis kertas minyak paling tipis.

Masalah rejeki, saya selalu yakin insya Allah cukup dan Alhamdulillah bener selalu cukup, bahkan ngerasa lebih banyak sampe hari ini. Lebih banyak bukan sekedar nominalnya, tapi jauh lebih besar dari itu. Indikatornya : tiap malem alhamdulillah selalu tidur enak dan nyenyak.

Kembali tentang penambahan jadwal saya beberapa bulan terakhir, Langit jadi tinggal sama Mbak Wi lebih lama. Kadang saya harus dua kali keluar dalam sehari dan yang kedua kali Langit diajak karena ngga ada siapa-siapa yang bisa nungguin.

Urusan baru ini ngebuat saya sering ‘terpaksa’ bawa Langit ke tempat-tempat saya berurusan. Cukup sering. Kadang saya ngerasa bersalah juga, giliran urusan saya dia harus ikut kemana-mana, giliran di rumah dia minta baca buku, saya kebanyakan malesnya. Susah buat adil, terutama ke orang yang lebih inferior.

Udah beberapa hari saya nerima sms ada diskon lima puluh persen di playground indoor di mal komplek dan berlaku cuma sampai jumat kemarin. Udah niat mau ajak Langit karena lumayan banget diskonnya. Ngga diskon juga ga papa sih, tapi dengan diskon lebih ngerasa terpanggil buat dateng, hehe.

Jumat itu jadwal saya pagi senam trus kerja sampai jam 12. Setelah pulang saya makan siang dan di sini niat mulai goyah. Mulai terdengar suara-suara ketidakadilan ,’udalah ga usah, ntar kan hari Minggu bisa’, ‘cape banget abis senam, pengen mandi trus tidur’. Tapi suara-suara baik juga ngga mau kalah ‘kesian kali, kapan lagi, murah banget juga’, ‘jangan egois lah, giliran urusan sendiri dipaksa ikut kemana-mana, ada kesempatan kaya gini dilewatin gitu aja’. Akhirnya setelah berdebat dengan pikiran sendiri, saya langsung nyiapin…. makan.
Iya, Langit harus makan dulu.

Tadinya saya pengen mandi dulu juga tapi inget kalo saya mandi, ngantuknya makin jadi. Dan hampir yakin banget kalo saya jadi mandi, ngga bakal jadi kita pergi. Alhamdulillah ngga jadi mandi.

Selesai makanin, saya solat dan pergi.
Keluar dari lift, langsung liat playgroundnya, duh, muka senengnya kok gitu bener ya? Kaya udah nahan dan nunggu lama banget buat itu. Langsung lari masuk ke dalem.

Langit di playground ini udah familiar banget. Main dari masih harus dijagain kemana-mana sampai kemarin dia bisa naik turun semua sendiri dan saya bisa senderan sambi main hp.

Beberapa kali saya berdiri, buat videoin. Ngga nyangka ni anak bisa berani dan nekat manjat beberapa mainan yang sebelumnya dia ngga pernah coba. Selama sejam setengah kita di sana, seneng banget udah sedikit adil hari ini ke Langit yang juga terlihat super senang.

Ngajak pulang dari tempat main itu selalu jadi perkara besar. Di London trip kemarin, abis main di playground di dalem Kensington Garden, diajak pulang ngga mau, akhirnya udah sampe batas waktunya, digotong pulang, nangisnya udah kaya diapain. Bikin malu banget. Hah.

Cuma satu yang paling ampuh, diajak makan. Karena kemarin udah makan sebelum main, jadi diajak makan es krim ke toko es krim yang baru buka dan cukup rame.

Keluar dari playground, saya suruh ambil sepatunya di rak. Dia ambil lalu sepatunya ditaruh di lantai. Dia jalan ke arah tumpukan kursi warna-warni yang cukup tinggi. Dia angkat yang paling atas, dan reaksi saya,

“Udah ngapain ambil kursi, buat apa sih?”

Seperti biasa dengan nada ngga sabaran.

Dia ngga jawab dan duduk terus ambil sepatu dan langsung pake sepatunya sendiri.

Langit 1 – 0 Mama.

Saking malunya ngga bisa ngomong.

Saya perhatiin dia terbalik pake sepatunya. Saya biarin sampe selesai, apalagi dia cukup cepet pakenya. Jalan berapa langkah kayanya dia ngerasa ngga enak dan bilang, “salah, salah, tewbalik,”.

Dia balik lagi dan duduk kembali tuker sepatunya. Kali ini udah bener dan ternyata lebih susah dan lebih lama. Sampe kakinya diangkat ke muka😁

Sampe selesai tetap ngga minta tolong.

Selesai pake sepatu, leganya bukan main.
Langit 3 – 1 Mama.

Saya dapet 1 skor karena berhasil mengalahkan hawa nafsu untuk bantuin dia supaya cepet.

Anak umur tiga tahun ngajarin life skill ke ibu-ibu umur tiga puluh tahun.

  • Tunggu, lihat dulu, jangan buru-buru.
  • Melakukan sesuatu yang salah selalu lebih mudah.
  • Memperbaiki kesalahan dan melakukan sesuatu yang benar pasti selalu lebih sulit dan butuh waktu lama.

Makasi, Cipcus.

Semoga terus konsisten seperti ini ya!

Posted in Langit Senja, Maternité, Uncategorized

Thirty Four Months

Posted on by arlanadya

It’s been quite some times after the latest update about the little girl.

She’s doing well alhamdulillah. More words to come, sentences, and many unthinkable words in English that surprised us.  She’s getting friendlier with others, and as I have more working hours since last month, she spent more time with Mbak Wi at home and it has been going better than I thought it would be.

Swimming becomes our monthly schedule and she has made good progress about that. She starts showing more courage to swim without holding on to her father and seems so eager to be in the water. This little girl also has more guts than his mother. She once tried a very high slide in the pool and kept asking for more.

School is soon to be considered after she is turning three next two months. Actually, I have been thinking to wait until next school year on July. Postpone it again? Hm, yes. Another consideration keeps coming about this. Too long to be written here.

Ah, extended breastfeeding still keeps going with less and less session. Telling her everyday, the time is almost really up. This mom is truly lazy when it comes to deal with some avoidable drama. So she chooses to keep breastfeeding instead. Sorry not sorry.

Then, keep healthy and happy, little girl!

Warming up
Posted in Langit Senja, Maternité

Thirty Three Months Update

Posted on by arlanadya

Unlike the first two years which each month progress was updated regularly, after she turned two I only do a recap. She’s going three in few months and I think I start having ‘time-flies-so-fast thinking phase already.

She keeps doing well, even exceed expectation if Denver II chart is the reference. She has :

– fully accomplished without accidents toilet training since three months ago (she started at twenty seven months).

– been able to count from 1-20, forward and suprisingly BACKWARD, in two languages.

– recognized all kind of shapes. 

– alphabets, with or without orders.

– been able to sing few songs completely and knowing do-do pitch.

– been able to mention kinds of animals, all colors, things, etc, in two languages.

– motoric skills are good.

– social skill been improving a lot.

– Al-fatihah, Al-ikhlas and five first verses of Yasin are almost done.

– Eating, drinking, taking care her things, doing what has been assigned, sleeping well in her own room, she’s good.

Thus, those above become reasons why I still postpone school. We had visited one of the candidates and after long talk, we decided she hasn’t needed yet. Why? From the discussion with the school person, what they will teach in playgroup level, she has got it and nailed it at home. Almost all.

She even isn’t three and I think, or we think daily school is still too burdensome for her. We have no problem with early morning wake up since we all wake up before subuh and she mostly has had her breakfast set done before seven am. But, sending her to a classroom still can wait for another year.

Motherhood will never be going easier, but for these three years, it’s been quite bearable for me because of many things that help me through this. 

Staying at home most of the time, working only few days for few hours, having no one to interfere my rules to nurture her and having good daily schedule are one of those things.

I am beyond thankful for such blessing and wish to continue having them around.

For the closure, Happy national children’s day. May all children is healthy and happy!

Posted in Langit Senja, Maternité, Past learning, Thoughts

THR Anak

Posted on by arlanadya

Salah satu momen lebaran yang paling ditunggu waktu kecil itu pas dapet THR. Wangi uang baru yang mengkilat itu salah satu bau yang paling enak selain bau airport. Apalagi almarhum kakek saya pensiunan pegawai BI. Ngga usah lebaran, tiap main ke rumahnya, kantong baju kokonya penuh dengan uang baru. Receh ngga masalah yang penting baru dan wangi, dan kita hampir ngga pernah pulang dengan dompet kosong.

Di keluarga saya, ada tradisi yang paling tua dapet lebih banyak dari yang lain. Semakin muda ya semakin dikit. Saya kombinasi cucu paling tua dari anak tertua. Mantap bener kalo udah lebaran. Bedanya sama yang paling kecil jauh. Beda nominal uangnya😄

Saya berapa kali memperhatikan orangtua yang anaknya masih kecil dan belum ngerti uang menganggap jatah THR anak itu adalah untuk orangtua. Saya agak janggal dengan ini.
 
Dari dulu, sejak saya sadar arti dan jumlah uang, semua uang yang didapat itu pasti masuk tabungan. Ibu saya buat tabungan untuk kami bertiga masing-masing. Saya inget banget itu di bank pemerintah bisa buat tabungan dengan nama anak dengan QQ orangtuanya. Jadi, setiap lebaran atau ulang tahun semua uang yang kami terima ngga ada yang masuk ke orangtua saya. Semua masuk ke tabungan masing-masing. Boleh diambil seperlunya kalo ada yang mau dibeli.

Menurut saya memang seharusnya seperti itu ya. Itu bukan punya orangtua. Dikasih jelas ke anaknya. Jadi, buat saya agak aneh kalo ada orangtua yang ‘ngambil’ THR anaknya hanya karena anaknya belum ngerti atau cukup umur.

Sejak lebaran pertama Langit tiga tahun lalu, semua uang yang didapat saya masukan satu tabungan yang jarang diotak-atik. Meskipun masih pakai nama saya, tapi hampir semua uang di dalamnya uang Langit. Rencana saya ketika dia sudah ngerti uang, akan saya buatkan tabungan sendiri. Tahun ini jumlahnya sudah lumayan banget. Karena ngga pernah dibeliin apa-apa juga. 

Tapi, sejak beberapa hari lalu, saya pikir kenapa harus semuanya disimpen terus. Mungkin akan lebih terasa kalo dia juga bisa nikmatin sesuatu dari uangnya. Saya sudah tau kira-kira baiknya dibelikan apa. Cuma kurang tau persis harganya berapa. Saya ngga mau dibelikan mainan kecil-kecil yang cuma berakhir dipretelin dan rusak gitu aja. Budgetnya agak tinggi ngga masalah karena jumlah uang yang udah disimpen selama tiga tahun pun lumayan. Yang jelas ngga dihabiskan semua.

Saya jarang belikan mainan karena ngga tahan berantakannya. Biasanya juga abis dibeliin, mainin sebentar, bosen trus udah. Makanya lebih rela beli yang ngga mahal dibanding yg murah tapi cuma jadi remah-remah. Boneka sama sekali ngga pernah. Semua boneka pasti karena dikasih. ‘Mainan’ paling banyak yang saya semangat beliinnya buku karena memang Langit juga suka.

Rumah saya hanya sekitar 10-15 menit dari pasar mainan anak-anak yang terkenal tapi belum pernah sama sekali kesana sampai kemarin. Setelah cek di internet harganya lumayan, kami putuskan untuk coba cek di pasar ini kalo aja bisa lebih murah.

Ternyata ngga banyak yang jual. Setelah datengin beberapa toko dan dapet rekomendasi ternyata hanya dua toko yang jual. Toko pertama jual 200 ribu lebih murah dari toko kedua. Biarpun saya memang udah niat, tapi kebiasaan pasti pas mau beli mikir lagi. Biarpun ini memang uangnya Langit dan yakin dia bisa nikmatin dalam jangka waktu yang cukup lama, bisa dimainin bareng-bareng juga kalo sepupu-sepupunya datang. Jadi sebenernya nilai tambahnya cukup banyak.

Akhirnya abis baca bismillah berapa kali, dibayar juga. Lega. Liat muka Langit abis dipasang dan bisa dimainin tambah lega. Apalagi ternyata ada mainan lain seperti ring basket dan xylofonnya. Dua hal yang Langit suka juga. Makin ngga nyesel udah beli. Seneng banget rasanya beli sesuatu yang dia bisa bener-bener nikmatin.

Hasil dari THR tiga tahun berubah jadi tiga hal yang Langit suka : perosotan, basket, dan xylofon.

Hal lain yang juga jadi nilai plus dari pembelian ini adalah ngga perlu repot-repot nungguin playground TK depan rumah buka buat main perosotan. Juga ngga perlu ke taman buat main basket sama abg-abg. Semua senang.

Jadi, meskipun space rumah lebih sempit, tabungan lebih sedikit, tapi hati lebih penuh. 

Selamat main, bayi kecil!

Posted in Langit Senja, Maternité, Thoughts

A(n) (Un)Confident Mother

Posted on by arlanadya

I had been and might still have been the title with the letters in the bracket since the beginning of motherhood. Being a mother without very least help from the elders, without my own mother, pushed me to go beyond what I could think I was capable doing of.

After 2,5 years, I am slowly heading to the title without the letters in the bracket. Watching Langit grows healthily and happily makes the confidence level is slowly going up. For a pair of mother and daughter who rarely meets others like doing playdate,etc, I rarely have comparison with others. So, basically, Langit is going according to my standard. Not others.

In her 30 months, I just realized that she is doing slightly better than others for certain parts. When I was talking to my sis in law whose daughter only two weeks apart from Langit, she said that Langit has been quite advance in her language. I don’t reallu know what should be a normal 2,5 years toddler acquire, but this is Langit’s :

– Counting 1-20, plus in a reverse way.

– Recognizing almost all colors. She loves purple and pink.

– Recognizing alphabet letters from A-Z, even when we were not going in order.

– Singing a complete few songs with the right tune.

We traveled for homecoming and challenged ourselves to let her travel without any diapers and she did it. Three days traveling without any single diapers and no accidents. She has already done well at home. But, we hadn’t been brave enough to travel without diapers before. So, we tried this one and she did it!! I am very proud of you, baby girl. And of course, you too dear self.

The trip also shown the improvement of her social skill a lot. For an introvert whose strength is not through meeting people, this year homecoming gave another surprise about how much she has improved. She played here and there without me and her father, hugging and kissing her cousins comfortably, not goes same with adults though. But still, she was doing way much better. Her grandma was busy showing off her here and there by continously asking here things, numbers, colors, etc. 

I start wondering maybe the time for school is getting near.

————————————

I hate being an unconfident mother. Saying this because I was in that position once when Langit went to the baby class when she was 15-18 months. I felt what I had been doing all day and everyday were useless. 

Knowing she couldn’t adjust well to the classroom situations, while others’ child did, it gave me anxiety like piano exam. Watching other families enjoyed the activities instructed well, while I was busy chasing her and there. Not happy. I felt more like a nanny than a mommy.

That was why, right after I decided to stop going to the class, I told myself to stop comparing and looking at others. But still, keep in line. When she was really late, then we did something too.

There’s never been anything instant in my life. Guess it goes the same in raising Langit. When other mothers with similar child age still deal with No-Eating phase until this time, I am confidently say I don’t. I have been bragging too much about this before. The way Langit eats everything, not a session of Gerakan Tutup Mulut happened to me, etc. Exaggerating, perhaps?

I was not. 

But, I would emphasize about how I have been through a year full of feeding battle and hassle. Those scary days, three times a day was a nightmare. When feeding time came, don’t ask how heavy this heart was. But still, quit was, is, and will never be in my dictionary. I kept going EVERYDAY, dealing with all those feeding hassles three times a day. 

When others mom might have given up thinking there was no need to push, babies would ask for food later of they were hungry. I have fully understood that this kind of statement had more wrong than right.

Eating is a learning process and it takes quite amount of energy to do it for a baby. We teach a little human being whose knowledge about food and eating is zero. They have to learn to distinct the flavours, munch and swallow the food by using their jaws, and many more. Eating, like any other learnings, is tiring for the baby. That is why patience is needed in a big amount during feeding.

There were times I really wanted to give up, but then I knew, once I did it, the second time would be much easier. Then, I would end up giving up one of the most important things a child should get from her parents : the best nutrition in her golden years. Dealing with ‘makan diemut’ for hours seemed to be a better choice than losing.

When this phase was finally over, I couldn’t be happier. Yes, like happiness that won’t last forever, hassle and sadness are doing the same.

I was quite proud to see her among other children in my husband family during homecoming. She showed her manner well, saying thank you and sorry properly, cleaning her own mess, eat properly, rarely being cranky, and with those ‘look-smart’ counting in English, color naming, alphabet and things pointing, no wonder her grandma kept showing her abilities to almost everyone. Though, she’s not the type who enjoys a big full attention to herself, especially from adults. 

It feels good knowing that you have been doing a good job. The best part of choosing to stay with the baby, you can take credits for the good result shown. 

Don’t be too happy. It goes same thing when your baby shows something unpleasant, then you please take the credits too. What his or her parents doing will be the first that jumps into others’ mind when they see something unpleasant from the baby.

We all judge. No exceptions.

Sometimes, it feels hurt watching the baby slowly grow up right before my eyes. Yes, days are slowly. Years are the flying ones. Since I am living days with her, so it both feels slowly and quickly.

I feel like I will continue being both titles in the future years. The job isn’t going easier and smoother as she grows up. But then, as long as I can, I am heading and will be doing everything within my power, towards the title without the bracket letters.

Among those full of istighfar days in raising a child, there are also days when you feel so happy and grateful having motherhood (and parenthood) as one of the things given in your cards.

Eid Mubarak! Hope you have a blessed and joyful one!

Posted in Langit Senja, Places, Travel

Langit Senja in UK

Posted on by arlanadya

I don’t know why I couldn’t do the editing on the pictures to write the captions so I just wrote it manually.It was fine before. Nevertheless, keep going to post these baby’s faces during the trip.

Trafalgar Square

St James Park

Manchester Piccadily Station

Anfield Stadium Tour, Liverpool

Old Trafford, Manchester

Manchester’s Air BnB

Sleeping at Vimto Park, Manchester

Ice cream on a cold day in Udderlicious, Islington

Parliament Square, Westminster

St James Park

Kensington Garden Playground


Ready to go home, Heathrow Airport


Thank you for the hospitality, Union Jack. See you again next time!

Posted in Langit Senja, Maternité

Thirty Months Updates

Posted on by arlanadya

It’s been a while since the last babbling about the baby. I know she is no longer a baby, but still, she is a forever baby to me. Older baby.

Successful toilet training is the biggest milestone achieved this month. Although we had started since the end of last February, but she is only really nailed it recently. It means we had no longer accident, day or night, she can tell when she feels the urge (not like the previously when we had to put her every certain time and told her to pee or poo), also when we go out, she is no longer use diaper too. So now, life is much more easier for this part. Fully toilet trained, halfly saved the precious budget to other things. Alhamdulillah.

Verbal skill is still on progress. Being exposed to two languages at home, she prefers to use the foreign language to refer things around her. Such as using ‘banana’ instead of ‘pisang’, although she knew when we asked her, “banana atau?” She would answer ‘pisang’. Two-words phrase is done and we’re still going and waiting her sentence. We realize she’s somehow late, but since we observe that she keeps improving so far, so we decide to wait and home-train instead of asking outsider help. 

I am not against any speech therapies. But for me, I prefer waiting to interferring BECAUSE we keep seeing her improving. If she hasn’t been doing so, maybe we take another more advance step. Beside, like I have always been doing during my 2,5 years of motherhood, waiting. One that has been saving me from lots of harms and disadvantages. I am going the same with this thing.

School. We consider, again, to wait. I have come to a certain decision that it is still not the time for her to go to school.

Why?

She’s just half ready yet. 

I set certain points about her school readiness. First, I want her to go to school when she’s already fully toilet-trained and it has just been done recently. Second, I want her to be able to help herself doing things for herself. Example? Wearing clothes alone (shirt still on progress, pants done),  wearing her shoes (almost done), putting back things to its places (done), cleaning her own mess (done), helping herself for drink or snack (drink done, she enjoys having water from the dispenser by herself. Over-enjoyed, if I may say. Snack, still not allowed. She still doesn’t know how to stop munching. Eating by herself is halfly done. 

Other than those daily things, I want her to be emotionally ready too. I have been observing her during her social interaction with other kids and quite proud knowing her being quite mature. 

She knows how to play by herself, knows to not take things that doesn’t belong to her, knows how to soothe herself when she misses something, she is careful and quite easy when others are doing something that disturbs her. Like whe  she was playing with a toy and her cousin wants to play with it too, then she just gave it easily. Surely later she has to know when to defend herself, but for now, I prefer her losing for a winning. 

Two of her cousins are the type of ones who couldn’t see when other held somehing that they didn’t, so they would ask for it too. So, whenever they play together, she’s been followed around here and there. When she did something, they wanted to do it too, when she played with something, they usually took one she had. It’s pitiful sometimes, but that is fine. It is only a toy, for now. I told her she could play it again later. The bright side, we know who is the leader here. She decides what she wants to play. Not by imitating others.

We had ifthar jama’i last week and I saw the difference between her and her cousin whose birthday is only two weeks apart from her. The way they handled their anger, the way they ate on the table, the eating manner itself, the way they cleaned their mess, I couldn’t be more pleased watching the differences between her and her cousin, in a (very) good way.

Sounds like an annoying brag, right?😆

It’s a brag of course. Which mother doesn’t brag about her achievements these days? I am just like any other mother.

I also encourage her to practice saying thank you and sorry in a suitable situations. Thank you has been acquired better while sorry, we still have to remind her for that. 
I will feel more ease to send her to school when she has been equiped by the basic life skills and manners she gets at home. I want my and her dad’s rules that become her guide to do well outside. To herself and to others. It’s not the school jobs. It’s ours. 

School can teach other things that, I believe, could be accomplished more easily, like reading, counting, or whatever things they do in school.
Basic life skills and manners, it is and should be on us.

I have been eyeing certain schools within our reach. By our reach I mean the location as well as the budget. Since I am quite knowledgeable in this field, choosing one that suits us better, in any ways, is also important. We agree not to go to those highly expensive famous school, despite the result they offer based on the parents testimonies. 

Her most important education will take place at home. One that she goes outside to is for her to see the differences and goes along, adjust well with it. That is why I prefer a school, until certain grades, which allows her to spend only half day of her time there. 

This is also why I stay at home. One who needs and deserves my most energy is her, not works. I enjoy working part time with such flexible schedules and being apart from her only for several hours. At least, during her first years, I think staying close to your child is the best. 

I had worked crazily enough before motherhood. Seven days a week, in few places, and enjoyed it all. Money was so good of course. Even now, money feels as well good though the numbers are not as big as pre-motherhood. Big numbers are no longer appealing when it means leaving her more.

Okay, time to go now!

Keep healthy and happy, Langit Senja!😘😘😘

Posted in Langit Senja, Maternité

Day and Night Potty Trained Checked!

Posted on by arlanadya

Finally!!

As I wrote on the previous post about Langit’s potty training, it’s quite unexpectable that a month later we could do the rest of her training. At first, I thought she might be better mastering the half day training first.

Last Sunday was the beginning when we went outside and the baby had to wear her diaper since we’re quite moving and it was quite difficult to find a proper toilet. Arrived home, had her last meal, and took a bath, the idea came up.

I thought she had been using the diaper all day long, wearing it again for the night might bring her back to the comfort zone. Well okay, not only her, me too. So, off we go without the safety belt for the first time at night.

We always have dinner before maghrib so after that we can be ready for bedtime. No baby’s stuff after maghrib is my golden rule. After maghrib is my resting time. She can’t eat and drink too much anymore after maghrib. That night, since she had been going around all day, it made her tired enough already. So, after maghrib, almost no energy left with her and she has an early night sleep.

She slept on her usual place and I put the plastic cover sheet just in case she peed during the sleep. Woke up at 4.30 as usual, all was dried. Yipppi!!

The first thing to do when she woke up was bring her to the bathroom and she peed happily. Pretty much. The next day was even easier.

It turns out that night potty training is easier than the day. As long as the fluid intake is limited before bedtime, make her last pee before climbing to the bed, accident could be avoided. It’s almost a week and she has been going through the whole night safely. Even in the day, accidents still happen sometimes.

We now can go outside without diaper if we know where she can pee comfortably or we know the length of time being outside.

In my potty training experience, I use no other helping stuff such as cloth diaper, training pants, or the small portable potty.  It works better, faster, and more efficient without those things for a lazy person like me. Simply drag the baby to the bathroom whenever she wants to pee or poo. If accidents happen,  just clean the spot and the pants, then change it to the new one.

I used a long or oversize shirt without any pants at the beginning of the training. It helped a lot reducing pants to be washed since accidents happened still quite often. It also helped the baby a lot. Why? Because when she had no pants, she was able to say when she felt the urge. When she had the pants on her, she thought and felt something was there to catch her pee or poo, so she just went on peeing and pooing there. Maybe after two weeks, she had her pants back. It also trained her to wear on and off the pants by herself.

It feels good being free from something addictive. Feels even better knowing it’s accomplished within the time limit. So we can move on to other big things.
Congrats, baby girl!

You too, my dear self. Good job.