Category: Life happens

Posted in Langit Senja, Life happens, Places, Thoughts, Travel

Umrah 2025

Posted on by arlanadya

We only slept two days in Medina.

The initial schedule was arriving in Madina around 9.30 morning, but then, six hours delay made us has to deal with 10 hours of layover and arrived at 21.30.

A flight with 100% punctuality and no delay history, yet, it delayed for 6 hours, ONLY on the day we departed. Instead of arrived early as planned, we had 10 hours of layover in the airport, wasted and doing nothing. Even the transit hotel plan missed us.

Half of the day was abruptly taken by unexpected event, half of them was more for Umra preparation, it left us with a full day in Madina. but Allah made this brief time spent in Madinah sufficient for all things that the heart yearned.

Arrived in Madina exhausted and unfocused. Alhamdulilah we chose the right hotel after changed it for few times. At least, something was right.

Nabawi has always been tranquil and beautiful. I only had few main itineraries in Madina other than regular pray in Nabawi. Visiting Quba, Raudah, and Rasulullah Biography museum.

Entering Raudah now needs some permit and it is quite hard to obtain. It seemed too good to be true until it turned out happening on the last minute. Even how smooth the visit was left me speechless.

It reminds me of one of Rasulullah SAW saying : “What has reached you was never meant to miss you and what has missed you was never meant to reach you”.

In this Umrah trip, we experienced both.

Umrah bound to Makkah using Haramain train and the Umrah process itself Alhamdulilah went smoothly.

The real struggle was when dealing with the bucket list.

In few previous umrah and Hajj, pray in the ground floor with Kabah view was a regular thing to have. Doing daily Tawaf on the ground floor is easily reachable. Returned to Haram afrer 13 years, it’s totally different situation to deal with.

It tortures me to certain degree on this trip until I spent almost 30.000 STEPS just to execute what has been fixated on my mind which becomes one of the bucket lists in this trip.

Constructions are all over the places and many access blocked. You can’t just enter from any gates to have what I want to have. More blocked access for woman too. Beside that, maybe as it’s getting closer to Ramadan, it’s been quite crowded.

I spent the whole first morning trying to figure out this, then continue the quest between zuhur and asr. Couldn’t stand the thought of coming here from thousand miles away just to accept things at it is without any proper fights.

Hajj was crowded and I even managed to do this for every prayer time I did in mosque, not easily of course. The voice inside kept saying, « Haji aja bisa masa umroh ngga ». Such thought can be poisonous, but I’d rather consider it as fuel.

When I finally figured it out, then I understood that I couldn’t have everything due to current situation and had to compromise a bit.

Such understanding can only be accepted knowing I have done the best possible thing through these thirty thousand steps.

Knowing what you want is indeed a blessing and a curse.

Umrah with Kid

I have been sounding several times to my travel members that we would plan for an Umrah trip once my daughter reached akil baligh age. The time when she’s considered an adult in Islam.

But then, plans changed, the calling for Umrah came faster and after a long search, the only way forward was to execute the plan.

I have told her many times that Umrah trip is totally different with any other trips that we have been through. It will be tough, it will be harder, and it won’t be a trip to the park and playground.

She once again, showed her maturity beyond her age in traveling. Dealing with long hours of layover, anxious and exhausted parents without any complaints which is the total opposite of her mother. I wish I could be as easy going as she is, a little bit.

As she has survived any kind of walks and hike, from beach to mountain, she endured all the walk and hike in this Umrah trip.

Taking children for Umrah for the first time, I learned that we should really set a realistic expectation for them and for us. Certain standard that allows them to enjoy their experience without compromising the parents standard of ibadah. We have gone far for that, after all.

So, what I did was in Madinah, we went all the way for five times prayer since the hotel is nearby and it was manageable.

While in Mecca, she only went for five times prayer in Zuhur, Maghrib and Isya altogther. Tahajud and subuh only for parents, and she just woke up once adzan subuh heard. Even her parents were leaving and doing their own thing separately.

Zuhur was at the mosque while Asr she stayed at home to have some early dinner to prepare Maghrib and Isya together at the mosque. Providing books during the waiting between Maghrib ane Isya worked well for her.

The only city tour I wanted for this trip only for museums and looked like it suits her well.

I hope this trip brings her joy, more experience and excitement as a moslem, and may Allah always guard her in every step of the way. Amin.

Epilogue

A trip (especially) to Holy Lands has always been about my meticulous plan and the reality that reminded me (especially) again and again the He is The One Who Decided all the results.

I often wonder should I be less invested in things so the expectation would be somehow not makes you devastated when things don’t go according to the plan?

I know all the theory.But, during turbulence it’s often hard to think clearly and stop the what ifs. I think this is the price of being quite opinionated and determined (In bahasa : sok tau and banyak mau).

His bounties are more than we deserve, but, the way it reaches us, I still need more training to get used to the suprise.

This trip is personally challenging.
It is emotionally exhausting, dealing with the unexpected long delay, the crowd five times a day, yet it is also exceptionally rewarding.

To have all my bucket list ticked with certain degree of struggle, to witness all the little help from Allah through the strangers we met, to enjoy the trip at our own pace, the best duration of the trip, surviving a long delay, completing Umrah together, again, Alhamdulilah is an understatement.

I saw that the doctor somehow also enjoyed it in his own way. Hopefully, he also found what he’s looking for other than all the surpsingly good speciality coffee in these two holy cities. We also had a young smart mutowwif as a company and the discussion has been really interesting.

Despite the struggle and the crowd, I love Makkah more than Madinah. I love how quiet it is in spite of the loudness. I love how diverse it is. Madinah is literally tranquil, but Makkah has some level of peacefulness that Madinah couldn’t have.

In the end, May Allah receive all the worship, grant all the prayers, and give us many more chances to return to these blessed places. Amin.

Posted in Life happens, Thoughts, Travel

Holy Cities Stories

Posted on by arlanadya

Based on few experiences visiting the Holy Lands for Umra, Hajj in 2012 was one of my best experiences. Hajj is one with the crowd,super massive crowds, but it was when I experienced how peaceful solo travel among the crowd was. 

I went with my late mum, but since she was not in good health, I basically wondered around Mecca alone. Not to say, I needed to take bus twice to go from our Maktab to Haram. Sometimes I needed to walk since the bus was full. Looking back, I realized how crazy was that. The best moment of life most of the time not the happiest one, but the hardest one.

Three times here, I had quite few experiences of any kind of Umrah. Ramadan, Private, one with really great service staying in the best hotels, and the government service. 

I realized that I only enjoyed the time inside the mosque, the session of sitting and staring in front of Kabah, groceries in Bin Dawood, and bookstore hopping in Hilton. I didn’t really enjoy following the schedules set with so many people, going here and there. I don’t really like small talk which most people love. I don’t like uniforms. I don’t like people telling me what to do and what to wear, unless it’s mandatory. 

At that time, the internet wasn’t like it is today. Only Yahoo Messenger and sms worked. Close to no distractions like what we have today.

After COVID-19, Umrah has changed a lot. Now, we can arrange our trips according to our preferences and pace.

After registering for Hajj together three years ago, the desire for Umroh grew. Umrah is part of the family long term plan. Since many years ago, the when is well-described but the exact time is a total mystery.

In spite of the uncertainty, For the past two years, I have sent inquiries to countless travel providers, sending them my terms and conditions and itineraries, and close to none have returned the message. It’s uncommon, but it’s doable if someone is willing to help.

Sometimes, I wondered whether we should just sign up for services that offered the best value and were closer to what I wanted. This is what happens if you have goals without a clear time frame. You even confuse with your own plan.

What I am certain, I want to arrange it personally. Our travelling habits over the past nine years have also influenced our decisions. 

Four significant things that I wanted to decide on my own were:

  1. Time
  2. Duration
  3. The flights
  4. The Hotels

On the other hands, I want to outsource few things for which I lack the capacity, little knowledge and capabilities to handle independently. 

This is Langit Senja’s first Umra experience and her father and I return after 13 and 22 years. There must be a lot that we don’t understand. No matter how much I read, with few experiences, we need proper guidance from a knowledgeable person to perform the Umrah based on Sunnah and Syariah.

I also don’t want to deal with handling and transportation during the stay.

It was a long, on-and-off search with no result until the green light appeared last year once we set the exact dates we planned to go.

Finally,  one service gave me exact numbers for my travel conditions. It was precisely the kind of service I was looking for. They let the customers customise everything, and they will chip in to provide what we need. For our kind of trip, we pay for what they call LAND ARRANGEMENT (LA).

What’s included on the service it depends on the travel or the customers and price will follow. Certain travels have already specific package so you just have to choose.

This kind of umrah is what we call semi-mandiri. We have heard many Mandiri ones, but this one combines Mandiri and private ones. 

My experience arranging this trip made me understand why going with a travel service is sensible and more convenient, especially for a first-timer. It’s risky if one does it without proper knowledge and experience and doesn’t have the time and energy to do all the thinking and searching. 

Since I am moderately jobless with a certain level of experience, so  let’s just try this. Alhamdulillah the doctor has been really supportive (or permissive?) to let me entertain any of my ideas. He’s the best for that. 

Only two possibilities for trying new things: winning or learning.

Much of the content about Umrah Mandiri is solely focused on the spill budget and low cost. But, based on what I have been through, there are many things beyond the amount of money paid that cost you other (more important) things than money that we should consider. Umroh is significantly different from any other trips I have ever planned in many aspects.

Umroh Mandiri is not necessarily cheaper, but we only pay what we want to spend, be it money or other intangible costs. We all must wish for the best services with the best price we are willing to pay for such travel conditions.

While arranging the trip, I learned a lot about Umrah 101, what makes the process different, which kind of service is worth trusting your Umrah experience with, what the most significant cost of Umrah is, and how we can customise the trip according to personal and general preferences. 

This is when things get complicated. Endlessly torn between “not because you can, then you should” or “What are your priorities, girl?”.

But the good side is that now everyone can go (very similar to the tagline of an LCC, which will take you to Madinah with the price of the current minimum basic income). The options are widely available, and it’s doable.

Other than that, Umrah, like any other ritual, should be done with proper knowledge and understanding. So, arranging a manasik mandiri is also part of my plan. We have been doing it three times since last December and have provided some books for the little girl.

Ultimately, whatever means we use to visit Baitullah is not as crucial as our true intention. For me, more than sticking to the budget set, this is the hardest one to keep on track.

This writing saved way before the departure, not knowing how the trip would turn out.

Safar has always been a platform to test your level of tawakal.

Posted in Life happens, Thoughts

To The Smallest Details

Posted on by arlanadya

There’s a little thing that amazes me when I look at the pattern of how every time this thing comes.

I recognize one thing since my early 20s that my period is rarely on time, but it always comes at the right time. It always comes right when I need it the most.

It doesn’t happen once or twice. It happens so many times until I could recognize the pattern.

The first time I recognized that it always comes at the right time was when I first went abroad with few of my dad colleagues to Singapore. It turned out that praying time wasn’t in their schedule. I remembered that I hadn’t had my period for almost two months.

Then, suddenly, it just came the night before the departure of the trip. I was quite surprised and didn’t prepare for that. I also wasn’t really fond of having period during traveling. But, after knowing I turned out to travel with a group of people who didn’t really include praying time in the itinerary, I thought “what a perfect timing” and felt so grateful for that.

After that, several situations happened that made me realize the pattern of my period that is rarely on time but very much often comes at the right time.

Another memorable one was after pregnancy and giving birth. After around 1,5 years without having period, it suddenly came when I was really exhausted of feeding and teaching eating while it was Ramadan, juggling with many other responsibilities until it didn’t feel like Ramadan anymore. On the peak of my exhaustion, it suddenly came to give me a break for a while.

It wasn’t only the big thing. It goes down to the smallest details. Last September, I had to accompany the little girl to one of the playdates and it might take quite long. I worried that the location was too far for me to go back and forth, and worried about I might have two prayer times outside. Again, I supposed to have my period a week before, but it didn’t happen. On the morning of the play date, it happened.

Last December, I had to drive quite far to the north to do some tests for the little girl. It was scheduled on Thursday, which means it was a fasting day too. Fasting is not a problem, but driving far while fasting and uncertainty of where we would pray was not really up to my liking. Thursday is the schedule of our weekly Quran night too. So, it would be quite tough.

The period had been coming at the same date since September, October, November. But then, in December, it passed the usual date. Five days after the usual schedule, on the night before the test date, it came.

I could imagine my relief breathing while writing this.

I have many many more to write. But, here is one last example.

Every beginning of the month, I will write everyone’s schedule on the board in the kitchen. The doctor’s shift schedule, the little girl’s classes and my fasting schedule along with the iftar and sahoor time. The parents have a routine that whenever the doctor has an afternoon shift, we will send the little girl to the school and proceed to have brunch after that. It is one of the most anticipated monthly events.

Last week I realized that the afternoon shift would be during the date of ayamul bidh fasting (three days white moon fasting). This January, I expected to have the period on the same date as last month, which is three days before the brunch schedule. So, if it happens on the expected date, there wouldn’t be any problems since I won’t be fasting. I even already decided the place for brunch.

But again, it didn’t happen on the expected date. Not on the following day, not the day after the following day. I became anxious because I didn’t really feel good about dropping fasting for brunch, yet, in the other hand, the promise was made too. Although it’s hard, I know which side to take if the period still hasn’t come. Kept sending tiny whisper asking for help so I didn’t have to choose between doing my regular fasting and keeping the promise.

I woke up as usual around 3 am on the date of the brunch and fasting, then it came.

Just like that.

I remember a line that I wrote on the day we moved back from London to Jakarta. Heavily anxious about the situation at that time, with the peak of Covid and many uncertainties ahead of us.

“The decision to return is about putting the utmost trust to the One who decides all affairs. Allah has been taking great care of us everywhere. To the smallest detail. He will do the same, no matter what situation we have to deal with, no matter where we are anywhere in this world”.

That was one of the most powerful lines I have ever written wholeheartedly during one of highest levels of my anxiety.

A simple line that has been proven through thick and thin, high and low, and any seasons of life, after all the best efforts have been done.

To the smallest details.

Found the longer explanation on threads.

Posted in Books, Life happens, Thoughts

A Year Older and Book Titles

Posted on by arlanadya

If book titles describe my life,then up to this 40 years, it has been a series of Unreasonable Hospitality bestowed by Allah the Almighty.

All the things that brought me here,the ups and downs, have been The Ride of a Lifetime.

Where I am in my 40th year is the combination of Allah’s endless favours,the love and support I received from my loved ones and the accumulation of self-courage to constantly choose and Do Hard Things from The Defining Decade and the following one after that.

When I look back, Thinking in Bets often becomes my standard operating procedure for navigating life, especially when it comes to something that matters to me because, for many things, it Always Seems Impossible Until It’s done.

If one asks How to Measure Your Life? Looking back, I see the choices made with no regrets: Finish What You Start, enjoy Tiny Beautiful Things, live A Walking Life, and keep training for an Organized and Disciplined Mind through consistent Atomic Habits for the past 20 years.

I am far from The Smartest Kid in The World, but I am blessed with Grit,a right Mindset, love playing The Infinite Game for the most important things, applying Clear Thinking to maintain certain things What Money Can’t Buy.

I don’t always have self-confidence, but I always believe in Berserahlah, Biarkan Allah Mengurus Hidupmu. May Allah grant me more wisdom, strength, patience, and guidance to navigate life learnings and winnings in this new decade. Amin.

Posted in Life happens, Past learning, Thoughts

The Privilege of Getting Older

Posted on by arlanadya

The month of another year getting older always feels bittersweet.

Over the last few years, I have felt like I have a compounding understanding of many things, especially about myself: why I am who I am, why I do what I do, why things happen the way they do, and more.

I finally found some answers to my question from my 20s. I wrote this particular question constantly in my diary when I was dealing with something emotionally draining for a long period of time. I didn’t have any idea how to have a complete closure and move on because such things kept coming back for more.

Such a question is equally draining since you have to wait to get to the answer—until time tells you.

It’s difficult sometimes to distinguish between “Is this a hard thing I’m supposed to work through?” or “Is it hard because it’s the wrong thing and I need to let go?”.

This is a question that applies to many confusion in my 20s.

Fast forward to 20 years later, here I am,
after specific experiences and statistics of results,
safely said I found the answer :
It’s more about the former than the latter.

The wrong one usually will find its exit way much sooner than later. No matter how much you hold on to them, it will slip away.

While the right one will persist and stay, no matter how hard you try to shoo it away, it always finds its way to return.

Most of the time, everything right is unusually hard and tough. Since such thing is destined to be yours, although you’ll never know how long it will be yours, you have to do the work. You have to overcome whatever hardship until it will be safely arrived on your hand.

This perfectly fits the concept of sustenance in Islam. It says that when your heart desires something, Allah gives it to you for some reason. But, you have to do the work to get it, and trust that you’ll get it in the end. When and how, it’s not yours to decide.

The more beautiful thing about this : there’s no such things as NO as an answer. It will be always a YES, with three different situations :

  1. Yes, exactly like you want and you don’t have to wait long for that.
  2. Yes, but you have to wait for a quiet long time.
  3. Yes, not exactly what you want, but it will be replaced with something much better than what you want.

It takes getting older for me to understand this. I watch to see how my prayers and dreams come true one by one. That’s why I call it a privilege to be getting older.

It also makes me realize another thing :

It’s impossible to keep up with all Allah’s blessings, which have been running at an exponential curve while I am still returning them at my slow walking pace in a simple, irregular (more downs than ups) curve.

In the end, doing your best is the only way to go.

Again, it’s stated in one of the most beautiful verse in Quran :

“Allah does not require of any soul more than what it can afford. All good will be for its own benefit, and all evil will be to its own loss”.

Among the many privileges of getting older that Allah has been lending to me, being a Moslem and being among the true believers (Mu’min), which I hope and keep trying to climb the ladder to be the Muhsin and Muttaqin, is indeed the biggest and the most important privilege that I won’t trade for anything else.

May Allah make it easier for what my heart desires.

Amin.

Posted in Life happens, Past learning, Places, Thoughts

Five Years from London Life: A Lesson on Courage

Posted on by arlanadya

September has been the most bittersweet month of the year since five years ago.

No matter how much I bore people with telling, showing, and doing so, I never get tired of repeating it. I could recycle all the memories thousand times over and over again.

It wasn’t merely about moving to one of the most exciting cities in the world. What I truly admired from us five years ago was courage.

We bravely moved without knowing where to stay, thinking renting a house in London would be as easy as renting in Basura: viewed once, deal, paid. It’s hard to believe that I was so naive, thinking that I just had to make a list of properties and then call the agent once we got there to make appointments, only to find none of those agents returned the calls.

We restarted the search from the beginning and only had a week to find permanent rent. Managed to get two viewing appointments, one of which was clearly a no, which left us with the only option we should take.

The opposite of all searching had been done in an unfamiliar area. The process took many sessions of “what?”, “How?”!!, “Really?! ” for days until the agent safely handed the key to our hand on September 12.

We emptied almost all of our savings just to pay the deposit and first month’s rent.We even borrowed money from my brother’s friend who was doing his Phd in England to pay for it first because we couldn’t open a bank account without a permanent address.

We lived the first month without any salaries other than the cash I had in my wallet, yet we still bravely made a trip and spent half of it calling the bank and the hospital about the salary we hadn’t received cause we couldn’t survive longer days without it.

I thought living recklessly could only belong to the 20s, yet,we did it in the middle of our 30s in a stranger land far away from friends and family.

But then, I always trust Allah highly, confidently and completely. There was no way he made us survived all the pre-departure mess for months only to let us failed miserably in reality.

I often record hard days more than the good ones, privately.It’s just like a library of experiences,feelings, that might be useful for the future.
Whenever I need some insight in the present about how courageous I can be,I always back to September in 2019.

The view of our home on the first night we moved

PS : This writing came up suddenly after another session of flowing tears rewatching Notting Hill. Not sure it was the PMS talking or I just miss London badly.

PS2: If there is another chance to move there once again in the future, will I take it? Then, my answer will be a big, bold no. That was the adventure of a lifetime once and done. Unless, Allah made that the only option.

Posted in Life happens, Thoughts, Travel

The Hidden Cost of Traveling

Posted on by arlanadya

Traveling is costly.

Literally and figuratively.

All the money, time, and energy spent to make it happen, those are not an easy feat indeed.

But, what is often overlooked, there is another cost that happens after you return. At least for me.

The time spent to re-adapt to the usual schedule. The jetlag costs me my morning routine from close to never sleeping in the morning to completely dozing off until midday for the first few weeks of returning from Munich.

I put my teaching schedule on halt in advance. I told the students I would be traveling for three weeks. Although I spent only eight days in Munich, it took me another two weeks to fully recover. Having short break after holiday is quite important for me. I know it’s a privilege to be able to do so.

The first Sunday at home spent after traveling felt more precious although it’s truly an ordinary one. I guess traveling is only exciting knowing you have a home to return to.

I am also quite grateful for the timing. We’re currently entering the first ten days of Dzulhijjah and Alhamdulillah, the recovery process was done when the nine days fasting began.

I am currently on the third day of fasting, and hopefully, it will go well until the end of nine days insya Allah.

That’s it and that’s all for now.

Tchuss!

PS : I really miss the daily German bread intake that I had during my stay in Munich. Been looking for similar ones here and still haven’t found what I am looking for.

Posted in Books, Life happens, Past learning, Thoughts

Tell, Life Will Show How

Posted on by arlanadya

You tell life what you want, and life tells you how to get it. When you ask for soulmate love, you must listen if life says, but not with them. When you ask for prosperity, you must listen if life says, but not like this.

When you ask for belonging, you must listen if life says, but not here. What feels on the surface like rejection is often redi-rection. When you ask for a big life, you cannot keep fighting for a smaller one to stay.

That is a page from Brianna Wiest’s Pivot Year.

This page reminded me of one day in 2022.
It was only few days after Ramadan ended.

Ramadan that year spent by going around the town, did tens of viewing almost every weekend, while fasting. The initial plan was gathering information and see the available option that we could afford in few years time. Not buying.

Little did we know that was the beginning of long journey. In one of the viewings, the agent said she had another house that wasn’t really good but it was in a quite good location. We agreed to see it first.

We fell for it right away.
It was Saturday and on Sunday morning we came again with an architect I found on the internet just within few hours who could come, see and made a budget plan how much needed to rebuild this house.

From just looking around to really buying? I even thought it was kind a reckless. We also had a zoom meeting with our financial planner to check whether we could really afford it at that time. He said, by numbers, it should be okay.

We paid the down payment too that day. As a newbie, we didn’t know a down payment could be just a small amount. We paid 10 times as requested by the owner. Looking back, it felt like a head over heels teenager in love.

Those things happened in few hours. Then, what did we do on the same day? We returned to the house at night. Just wanted to see how it felt during the night.

Although I know it by heart already, still I forgot, when it’s easy then it must be fishy.

The process kept going until at certain point, it started to fall apart. Not here, life said. But, the heartache of letting go something you really wanted was quite real.

If you think the heartache was only on us, it wasn’t. It took the agent for a while to recover of what she lost when everything seemed so close. She kept texting for many other options that might interest us.

Refused to move on for a while, until I bumped into another advertisement that lead to where we are right now.

The process hadn’t been smooth from the very beginning. There was always something that made us wait, which finally felt right.

Indeed, a delay in your plan is always Allah’s protection.

5 Ramadan 1445 H

Posted in Life happens, Thoughts

The Credits

Posted on by arlanadya

We were moving on the first day of the new month, at the beginning of Friday. Three of us did Quran reading together after maghrib prayer to mark the beginning of the new journey.

If I could make some calculations of what this house is made of :

  • 20% goes to the doctor’s sweat and blood, day in day out, weekdays, weekend, morning to late night, and I am grateful for everything he has done.
  • 10% goes to someone whose energy, determination, discipline, and courage are fully invested to turn this house into a home.
  • Another 10% goes to the blessings that the little girl brings and the prayers of our parents.

So, to whom the rest of the credit goes?

When I looked back to everything that we’ve been through, we did all the efforts that human can do and it just stops there.

We’ve actually been searching for a place of our own since 2013. We visited the very same apartment four times in few different years with a serious thinking of buying in mind. We calculated everything and thought we were really ready.

The weird thing was, there had always something stopped us for unclear reason. We just didn’t proceed. But, resumed again everytime.

Until there was one circumstance that made us have to rent in that exact apartment then we understood why there was always something that prevented us to buy it.

Our life there was quite good, but, definitely not the place we want to stay for a long time. In fact, we moved out three months earlier than the actual lease because life surprised us with a job offer from one of the best cities in the world and it changed our life forever.

In London, the house searching was once again beyond my imagination. I had marked so many places in the north London because I thought the tube line goes straight to the doctor’s hospital.

What I didn’t know was the process wasn’t that simple as we had here. Among so many places that I marked, we only managed to have two viewings. One was located above the grocery shop, another one came unfurnished, which both were not an option.

We only had few days left for our AirBnb rent and suddenly we found one, but in South East London, the complete opposite what I have planned. Since we had no choice, so we just went for the viewing.

We fell in love right away. It was beautiful residence and neighborhood by the river Thames in zone 2. Most of Indonesians chose zone 4 in the north because of the price and other considerations, but, we got this place so close to the city, with a better tube line, schools, little forest nearby, and so many more.

The administration was also another story but, it would be too long to put here. In short, we moved in just few days after and in one night I turned the rent into a home.

The story could go on and on, but, I’ll just stop here.

So, the rest 60% credit for this house goes to The One and Only Who enables everything for us, Who takes care of us wherever we go, Who shows ways out, Who listens to all those cries and pleads. The One Who allows us to have what we have.

He allows us to be healthy in spite of all the hard work we have to do, he opens so many doors we couldn’t even see. He protected us all through the way from the beginning to the end.

He literally fulfilled the smallest detail of the wishes, but, nothing comes easy and I fully understand that part, in spite of my loud whining.

In one of my regular morning readings in this new home, while having the whole house as my view, the two verses I read have this meaning :

“And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whoever puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish his purpose. Verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion” (Quran 65:3)

“Let the man of wealth provide according to his means. As for the one with limited resources, let him provide according to whatever Allah has given him. Allah does not require of any soul beyond what He has given it. After hardship, Allah will bring about ease”.(QS 65 : 7)

No words beyond Alhamdulillah.

Posted in Life happens, Thoughts

A Huge Milestone : A home of Our Own

Posted on by arlanadya

Adulthood hits differently.

It’s been few months hard actually, but surviving this January is another story.

When I thought I was already on the edge of my sanity, then more tests would appear to see if I still could take some more.

Since last year, building a nest from the scratch has been our most difficult challenge. We’ve been moving places, survived moving in and out cities and countries, but this one has been on another level.

The searching part took months long and not easy. We spent every weekend went here and there, called this and that, asked and did viewing around to so many places.The buying part stretched the head and heart to their maximum potential.

Then, here came the renovation part which turned to be like building from the scratch.

I supervised the rebuilding of my childhood home from the scratch in 1998-2000 while all the family members were living in another province in another island. I went around here and there with my late mother in 2012 to build another house, still remembered how tiring those experiences had been.

But, I didn’t have strong emotional attachment to any of them. I witnessed the processes, the progress, but, they weren’t my own projects. They didn’t cause me any sleepless nights or countless headaches, heavy breathing, or occasional crying. Even asthma returning daily.

When we finally decided to sign up for this, I knew it would be hard, but I didn’t know it could be this level of hard and so beyond emotionally draining.

The twists.
The misses.
The cries.
The frustration.
The anxiety.
The countless checking to the smallest detail.
The continous daily nagging.
The repetitive reminder for a single work for weeks.
The hopelessness felt day by day for so many reasons.
When I thought I was being too fussy and maybe just let it flow to be more sane, but how? It’s all our sweat and blood. It takes more than money to arrive here and there’s no way I could just leave it without the best fight.

The process to turn the house into a home is another pain. I didn’t know we have to think about every single important thing, not just lovely decoration seen on the gram.

It doesn’t stop there.

Dealing with the countless decluttering, loading and unloading, packing and unpacking, moving big and small things from the apartment to the new house little by little, every single day, thinking about the new set up here and there.

Dealing with multiple appointments with technicians to set up the appliances, house decoration, house service and security and many more.

For the past three months, my daily view has been boxes, bags, trolley and trashes and it’s really torturing for someone who needs highly ordered and structured life to thrive. I mostly survive with the eyes on prize on my mind.

For the past three months, I also do a bare minimum parenting. More nagging than nurturing. Neglecting a lot of responsibilities, skipping many important details and just let it go.

For the past three months, I’ve lost interest to many things and the only thing I could think of is about the house and the moving.

Masya Allah, I have no idea before this is the unseen price we paid for buying a house.

For the past 6 years, we’ve been living in few different full service apartments which everything is covered and it has been really easy. I love living in apartments more than I could think of. A small space that is relatively easy to take care of, good and comfortable access to everything like food, shopping, entertainment, groceries, anything. It’s just one tap away from where we live. Whenever we encounter a problem, it’s just a call away to the reception and someone will ring the door and fix the problem.

Receiving any packages is another huge advantage that I would surely miss. Here, we don’t have to receive it on our own. Be it goods other food. It will be taken care of and we just have to pick it at anytime we’re available and it would be safe.

Return to live at home is a huge change. I am quite nervous actually. But, we finally decided to do this because we can’t grow when it’s too easy and small. There were times when everyone had online meetings altogether, we had no proper places to do it. Also, since we rent the place, there are a lot of things that we want to do but couldn’t.

I am also thinking a lot of my daughter too. Owning a house means having responsibilities and taking care one is the way to teach and prepare her for that. She has responsibilities too in the apartment but as she grows, she needs more to learn.

I don’t know where and how life would take from here. But, what I’ve always known that Allah’s timing never miss anything.


We actually had started looking since 10 years ago to own a place on our own. We had four times period where we almost bought an apartment in our first rent place. But, I didn’t know why we didn’t proceed every time it appeared. Like something always stopped us.

I couldn’t imagine dealing with such a huge decision other than now. I couldn’t count how many times He makes it possible so many impossible beyond calculations.

Behind all those exhaustion, I kept thinking about many things where we had it easy and it’s not small feats indeed. I kept telling myself to count all the blessings to balance all the hardships felt inside. It didn’t eliminate the headache, the cryings, but, to maintain the sanity and energy to keep pushing through until the finish line.

After almost two years of journey, so here is the new beginning on the first day of the new month in a place I wholeheartedly call 🏠.

Bismillah. Bismillah. Bismillah.

PS : don’t listen to any advices that you need to buy a house ASAP. In buying a house, especially in this country, you need to do it a.s.a.p. As slow as possible. Take your time, have as much money as possible to cover your other expenses other than the house bills (which is A LOT), do a lot of researches, viewings, and, loud praying.

Owning a house before 30 sounds cool, but, unless you already really know where you’ll be settling down for the next few years, it would be a good idea to hold the decision. Since we’re far from rich, has no parents to help us with this, it only makes sense we could only afford it at the end of our 30s. It takes time to save the money to afford the house and a home that we want. After several years of moving, I come to a conclusion that the law of buying a house is just like one for marriage. It’s not compulsory.