The end of breastfeeding journey.
The era of school is soon getting cool has come.
I wish nothing but your well-being to live your life until the time appointed, little girl. I won’t be forever present for you, but I hope the time when my presence exists, it matters a lot until it could cover the time during my absence.
Stay healthy and be forever happy, little girl.
An ‘I love you’ is too underrated to express how big the feeling I feel for you.
Happiest birthday to you.
Few last months, working schedule has been a lot more hectic and juggling here and there is absolutely unavoidable. Adding another responsibility in the schedule makes other things should be put aside, like my favorite activity watching k-dramas.
In others’ glasses, I looked like having an ideal life by having my own work that I love doing it with flexible schedules (few hours for three days in a week), running a bussiness, taking care the little girl almost alone ( with the help of a half-day helper), taking care three men and house affairs, doing regular exercise, having days off on weekdays, and sufficient income to pay the bills.
I am counting my blessings above.
Now, let’s go to the other side.
With so many things in my hand, I should wake up very early in the morning than before and sleep later than I used to be. Working in the morning till mid-day, going home first to feed the little girl and flying again to another work.
For few these months, every day in a whole week is a working day from morning till afternoon. As a newbie, running a bussiness feels like having endless working hours, dealing with customers, feeling anxiety about sales, finding solutions to any existing problems, keep thinking any possible ways to survive, and many more. It’s been ages since lazy weekend is available.
The consequences of such schedule, being tired once I got home is unavoidable and the little girl often has to pay for it. Compromising with her lunch since I have been too tired to feed her (a proper meal), allowing her to watch Gummy Bear more than the limit (what can I do?), or refusing to read her a book since I was too sleepy or I just wanted to lie down while scrolling my twitter timeline. I often compromised with her stuff but rarely did it to mine.
Even right now, while writing this, I am neglecting her main course breakfast, putting aside washing her meals utensils, and tidying up the breakfast table and other things that should be done now instead of typing this babbling just because I really want to write.
So, actually, when some people asked me how I got the balance between works and motherhood, I sneered and answered,
“Who said it was balance? It’s a mess,”
You can’t be very good in everything that you do alone all at once. Something must have been compromised for other things. When you can do things freely and leisurely outside then you must have someone to take care the house stuff and the kids at home. There’s no possible way to do everything on your own. When you spent more time outside dealing with works, it’s impossible to have the exact same amount to spend with the kids.
Quality over quantity? Hm.. I don’t think so.
I won’t write any excuses here and everything written above is purely pointed to my own nose. Everytime I feel so tired and like quitting these all, I remembered my mother. How she had been juggling harder, dealing with three little children, took turn with my father working in the evening after all day long taking care the house stuff, more she cooked everything alone from the very scratch.
I wondered how she could be still sane. Taking care one child even feels more than enough for me and fiuh, cooking is not my happy playground.
When I refered to her, balance seems to be real and exist, until I remembered how hard it had been to be her daughter, hahaha.
But, those hardships she had been given to me brought more advantages in the future than I could think of. I am forever grateful to her. Thus, I really want to keep up with her standard. She was surely neglecting some of our stuffs, she surely had her own regret, but she was never being ignorant and a quitter. Those are two things that I have too, gladly.
Knowing it’s been hard and even will be harder, quitting any of them is not an option unless if I really have to. It’s a better time management that should be done when you’re having more responsibilities, not omit one existed when you have a newer one.
Although an ideal balance is pretty impossible to achieve, being certain and believe these things are worth fighting for is enough to keep going. No greatness and grand result achieved by doing nothing.
So, let’s keep going with such mess, shall we?
Have a nice day!
Jadwal saya beberapa bulan terakhir ini bertambah dan ninggalin Langit di rumah lebih banyak jadi ngga bisa dihindari. Ngga lama sih, cuma nambah sampai jam 12 tiap hari. Tapi, tetep aja waktunya lumayan berkurang, tenaga dan kesabaran pun suka tipis. Dasarnya emang tipis sih.
Dari awal setelah melahirkan, saya sudah menetapkan kalo saya hanya akan kerja di satu institusi dan part time. Sejak 2010, udah ngga pernah mau full time. Waktu saya terlalu berharga untuk terikat penuh di satu tempat dan jadi ngga bisa melakukan hal-hal lain yang saya suka dan penting (buat saya tentunya).
Tiga tahun belakangan ini saya hanya kerja seminggu tiga kali, maksimal 3 jam. Ada satu yang cuma 2 jam. Ada yang bingung ngapain kerja kaya main-main gitu. Ngurus anak kecil sendiri, ngurus orangtua dan semua urusan rumah, lebih butuh perhatian dan tenaga karena itu prioritas saya. Kerja buat sampingan aja. Kalo saya udah terlalu cape di luar rumah, yang di rumah cuma dapet ‘sisa’ dan kalo saya cape, tingkat kesabaran saya itu jadi setipis kertas minyak paling tipis.
Masalah rejeki, saya selalu yakin insya Allah cukup dan Alhamdulillah bener selalu cukup, bahkan ngerasa lebih banyak sampe hari ini. Lebih banyak bukan sekedar nominalnya, tapi jauh lebih besar dari itu. Indikatornya : tiap malem alhamdulillah selalu tidur enak dan nyenyak.
Kembali tentang penambahan jadwal saya beberapa bulan terakhir, Langit jadi tinggal sama Mbak Wi lebih lama. Kadang saya harus dua kali keluar dalam sehari dan yang kedua kali Langit diajak karena ngga ada siapa-siapa yang bisa nungguin.
Urusan baru ini ngebuat saya sering ‘terpaksa’ bawa Langit ke tempat-tempat saya berurusan. Cukup sering. Kadang saya ngerasa bersalah juga, giliran urusan saya dia harus ikut kemana-mana, giliran di rumah dia minta baca buku, saya kebanyakan malesnya. Susah buat adil, terutama ke orang yang lebih inferior.
Udah beberapa hari saya nerima sms ada diskon lima puluh persen di playground indoor di mal komplek dan berlaku cuma sampai jumat kemarin. Udah niat mau ajak Langit karena lumayan banget diskonnya. Ngga diskon juga ga papa sih, tapi dengan diskon lebih ngerasa terpanggil buat dateng, hehe.
Jumat itu jadwal saya pagi senam trus kerja sampai jam 12. Setelah pulang saya makan siang dan di sini niat mulai goyah. Mulai terdengar suara-suara ketidakadilan ,’udalah ga usah, ntar kan hari Minggu bisa’, ‘cape banget abis senam, pengen mandi trus tidur’. Tapi suara-suara baik juga ngga mau kalah ‘kesian kali, kapan lagi, murah banget juga’, ‘jangan egois lah, giliran urusan sendiri dipaksa ikut kemana-mana, ada kesempatan kaya gini dilewatin gitu aja’. Akhirnya setelah berdebat dengan pikiran sendiri, saya langsung nyiapin…. makan.
Iya, Langit harus makan dulu.
Tadinya saya pengen mandi dulu juga tapi inget kalo saya mandi, ngantuknya makin jadi. Dan hampir yakin banget kalo saya jadi mandi, ngga bakal jadi kita pergi. Alhamdulillah ngga jadi mandi.
Selesai makanin, saya solat dan pergi.
Keluar dari lift, langsung liat playgroundnya, duh, muka senengnya kok gitu bener ya? Kaya udah nahan dan nunggu lama banget buat itu. Langsung lari masuk ke dalem.
Langit di playground ini udah familiar banget. Main dari masih harus dijagain kemana-mana sampai kemarin dia bisa naik turun semua sendiri dan saya bisa senderan sambi main hp.
Beberapa kali saya berdiri, buat videoin. Ngga nyangka ni anak bisa berani dan nekat manjat beberapa mainan yang sebelumnya dia ngga pernah coba. Selama sejam setengah kita di sana, seneng banget udah sedikit adil hari ini ke Langit yang juga terlihat super senang.
Ngajak pulang dari tempat main itu selalu jadi perkara besar. Di London trip kemarin, abis main di playground di dalem Kensington Garden, diajak pulang ngga mau, akhirnya udah sampe batas waktunya, digotong pulang, nangisnya udah kaya diapain. Bikin malu banget. Hah.
Cuma satu yang paling ampuh, diajak makan. Karena kemarin udah makan sebelum main, jadi diajak makan es krim ke toko es krim yang baru buka dan cukup rame.
Keluar dari playground, saya suruh ambil sepatunya di rak. Dia ambil lalu sepatunya ditaruh di lantai. Dia jalan ke arah tumpukan kursi warna-warni yang cukup tinggi. Dia angkat yang paling atas, dan reaksi saya,
“Udah ngapain ambil kursi, buat apa sih?”
Seperti biasa dengan nada ngga sabaran.
Dia ngga jawab dan duduk terus ambil sepatu dan langsung pake sepatunya sendiri.
Langit 1 – 0 Mama.
Saking malunya ngga bisa ngomong.
Saya perhatiin dia terbalik pake sepatunya. Saya biarin sampe selesai, apalagi dia cukup cepet pakenya. Jalan berapa langkah kayanya dia ngerasa ngga enak dan bilang, “salah, salah, tewbalik,”.
Dia balik lagi dan duduk kembali tuker sepatunya. Kali ini udah bener dan ternyata lebih susah dan lebih lama. Sampe kakinya diangkat ke muka😁
Sampe selesai tetap ngga minta tolong.
Selesai pake sepatu, leganya bukan main.
Langit 3 – 1 Mama.
Saya dapet 1 skor karena berhasil mengalahkan hawa nafsu untuk bantuin dia supaya cepet.
Anak umur tiga tahun ngajarin life skill ke ibu-ibu umur tiga puluh tahun.
Makasi, Cipcus.
Semoga terus konsisten seperti ini ya!
It’s been quite some times after the latest update about the little girl.
She’s doing well alhamdulillah. More words to come, sentences, and many unthinkable words in English that surprised us. She’s getting friendlier with others, and as I have more working hours since last month, she spent more time with Mbak Wi at home and it has been going better than I thought it would be.
Swimming becomes our monthly schedule and she has made good progress about that. She starts showing more courage to swim without holding on to her father and seems so eager to be in the water. This little girl also has more guts than his mother. She once tried a very high slide in the pool and kept asking for more.
School is soon to be considered after she is turning three next two months. Actually, I have been thinking to wait until next school year on July. Postpone it again? Hm, yes. Another consideration keeps coming about this. Too long to be written here.
Ah, extended breastfeeding still keeps going with less and less session. Telling her everyday, the time is almost really up. This mom is truly lazy when it comes to deal with some avoidable drama. So she chooses to keep breastfeeding instead. Sorry not sorry.
Then, keep healthy and happy, little girl!
Unlike the first two years which each month progress was updated regularly, after she turned two I only do a recap. She’s going three in few months and I think I start having ‘time-flies-so-fast thinking phase already.
She keeps doing well, even exceed expectation if Denver II chart is the reference. She has :
– fully accomplished without accidents toilet training since three months ago (she started at twenty seven months).
– been able to count from 1-20, forward and suprisingly BACKWARD, in two languages.
– recognized all kind of shapes.
– alphabets, with or without orders.
– been able to sing few songs completely and knowing do-do pitch.
– been able to mention kinds of animals, all colors, things, etc, in two languages.
– motoric skills are good.
– social skill been improving a lot.
– Al-fatihah, Al-ikhlas and five first verses of Yasin are almost done.
– Eating, drinking, taking care her things, doing what has been assigned, sleeping well in her own room, she’s good.
Thus, those above become reasons why I still postpone school. We had visited one of the candidates and after long talk, we decided she hasn’t needed yet. Why? From the discussion with the school person, what they will teach in playgroup level, she has got it and nailed it at home. Almost all.
She even isn’t three and I think, or we think daily school is still too burdensome for her. We have no problem with early morning wake up since we all wake up before subuh and she mostly has had her breakfast set done before seven am. But, sending her to a classroom still can wait for another year.
Motherhood will never be going easier, but for these three years, it’s been quite bearable for me because of many things that help me through this.
Staying at home most of the time, working only few days for few hours, having no one to interfere my rules to nurture her and having good daily schedule are one of those things.
I am beyond thankful for such blessing and wish to continue having them around.
For the closure, Happy national children’s day. May all children is healthy and happy!
I know it’s quite late. Dangal was on the theatre few months ago. But, actually it wasn’t kind of movie which dominated all studios in every cinema like the one with superheros on it. If I am not mistaken, Dangal was only available in very few certain cinemas in South Jakarta.
I finished watching it yesterday with the doctor on Netflix and I have been repeating some of its scenes on my head. A great movie always stays longer on your head and probably forever in your heart. Dangal has those two possibilities.
It was one based on true story about Indian wrestling athlete who once fought for the country for Olympic and had to be satisfied with silver medal. The thirst for gold medal haunted him for a long time until he decided that one of his children should take the same path like him and accomplished what he’d been dreaming of.
It turned out that his first child was a girl. He tried again then the second turned to be a girl too. Until the fourth child, all he had were girls.
One certain conflict trigerred this father to start training his two oldest daughters to become a wrestler. He trained Geeta and Bambita hard. Started early in the morning, trained them like a professional wrestler. These girls, no matter how unhappy they were with their father doing, they kept going with the training. They tried to fail the plan sometimes and they failed miserably.
Although all of his family were against the idea, including the girls’ mother, he kept going. He asked his wife to give him a year to train the girls. If there were no result, then he would give up his dream forever.
I won’t tell a whole story here and of course, the movie goes like we expect. It’s truly worth your 2,5 hours of time watching it. Unlike my husband, I am rarely into a movie. Unlike dramas, movie often makes me sleep.
I survived Dangal from the first minute until its last credit title. Some tissues surely needed while watching it.
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One of the reasons why I survived Dangal until the very end, and more, even take some time to write a post about this, because it reminds me of some familiar moments.
I was once Geeta and Bambita with a mother like their father. Although the achievement is nothing compared to those girls and their father, I experienced similar things like those two girls went through until the very end. I felt like re-watching my thirteen years of life in the past while watching Dangal.
When the father unachieved dream was about Olympic gold medal, my mother’s was piano. She had been dreaming of being able to play piano for a long time. Until my father gave up one of his Vespas to buy her a decent upright piano. Right after marriage, she started learning privately at home. But, not for long, she was pregnant with me and her pregnancy wasn’t the easy one.
She stopped learning for some time until she had a chance to resume her lesson, after her second child was born. She waited that long. But, again, being a working mom with two little babies were surely not easy. She told me whenever she had her lesson when my sister was sleeping, this little baby suddenly woke up and refused to go back to sleep. Again, she finally had to give up her private lesson.
It wasn’t my mom if she gave up easily. Once we were older, she started searching for a music school to learn. She came to one of music schools in Manggarai, and asking some information to join a piano course. The administrator laughed at her and said they only had and allowed piano course for children age 5-12, maximum, if they hadn’t learned anything before. She came home with a blank form with her.
I was only five when this happened and on my third years in kindergarten due to unsufficient age to enroll primary school. For certain reason, my mother thought it might be boring to spent three years in kindergarten and it was better for me to have something other than school. Then, with such thought, she enrolled me to that music school.
She told me later, if she couldn’t manage to play piano at all, then at least she could see her daughter (and all her children actually. Three of us went to the music school) plays.
Similar to the father in Dangal, she too didn’t have the support from her husband, my father. My father was against the idea thinking it would be burdensome to pay for another bill while it wasn’t compulsory. There were three of us already. For an ordinary government employee, supporting five people was surely hard already.
But, again, it wasn’t my mum if she gave up easily. She stood firm to her decision, told my father that she wouldn’t ask a penny from him to pay the monthly tuition. Luckily, she was working and had her own money too. She even told him, she wouldn’t bother him about sending me to the school. She would take all the responsibilities about this.
She really meant what she said. I still remembered clearly, she sent me to the music school in a bright hot day, by public transport, while bringing her two other children along. My brother was only one at that time.
We walked from home to the nearest public transport stop, about fifteen minutes, put my brother’s stroller in a small warung, then got on a mikrolet until terminal and changed to bajaj to the music school. It went the same for the return trip. Bajaj until terminal, a mikrolet until the residence gate, took the stroller from the warung and walked home. She had been doing that for at least five or six years until my father started to take part in our music course.
I couldn’t imagine how she kept surviving all those hassles,bringing three little children in a hot bright day, by public transport, twice a week, for a mere 20-minutes piano lesson. Yes, TWENTY MINUTES ONLY EACH LESSON TWICE A WEEK. For this part, I think my mother won a big time over Geeta and Bambita’s father.
She might not be able to train me like the Dangal father, but she never skipped any single lesson for whatever reason. If there were any, I couldn’t remember it at all. It was very similar to the father who never skipped a single morning and afternoon training for his daughters. Although she couldn’t play at all, she accompanied me practising at home. Made a practice schedule daily and sat right next to me.
Similar to Geeta and Bambita, I wasn’t too happy too with such training. It was hard and I came to tell my mother cried and said I wanted to quit. But, she kept telling me to go on and said to finish what I had started.
I won’t repeat the whole story about this since I have written an old post about this here. What I want to point is what my mother and this Dangal father did.
Unlike the recent parenting trend where parents are told better not to push the children to do something related to their ambitions, both parents were doing the opposite way.
I think, with the right nature and nurture, parents who push their ambition, as long as it is something good and worth fighting for, it could give the children something beyond what they could think of.
For many aspects in life, parents know better. They could see something beyond what the children could see. Sometimes, they have to drag the children to the roughest path for them to be able to find a great treasure. But, what some parents forget is they have to go through the same rough path as well and not letting the children go alone.
If it weren’t because of her father, Geeta and Bambita would never ever felt such great feeling standing on the highest podium, with a gold medal on their neck, while hearing (and singing) their national anthem played in a world sport event around the world. Not only for their own pride, but the gave the glory to their country.
Mine was surely very far from what they achieved. But, the feeling of accomplishing something well after long and hard years of trainings, litre of sweat and tears, days and weeks of lack of goodnight sleep, ton of patience, determination, and strong persevereance, I was lucky to be able to feel such feeling thanks to my mother. One of the best feeling I have ever felt in my life.
Dangal told you something about raising a (champion) child : There’s no easy way to avhieve good results in parenting. If you feel it’s easy and relaxing, then it’s almost certain that you are not doing it right.
The children might have hard times to keep up with such parents. But, what I came to understand after being a parent, it was the parents who have a harder and the hardest times. Watching the father massaged the girls feet while they were sleeping, cooking them chicken so they could have more protein to fight well, staying close to the national camp so he could train them early in the morning, booking a whole cinema to watch all Geeta’s matches so he could analyze where she failed, and many more.
My mother had been through the same thing and might be harder. When Geeta and Bambita were surely talented, it wasn’t the case for me. No matter how often harsh comments she received from the teacher about how untalented I was, she swallowed it all and kept going.
Whenever exam period came, she woke me up at 3 am and accompanied me to practice until subuh. Then, twice a week, she sent me to the music school at 7 pm for repclass and my father would pick me up at 12 am. Midnight. For a whole two months every year. She was with me to go through everything until the very end.
I surely have a big doubt if I will be able to keep up with such boldness to my own children. To fight myself to do something right over something easy is a hard work. Even if I feel I have already done and tried hard, sometimes it is just myself who wants to justify the less-effforts work I have done.
So, If you haven’t watched it, Dangal is a recommended one to spend 2,5 hours of quality time with your family. It’s absolutely on my a must watch list to watch it with Langit later insya Allah.
Happy watching!
Salah satu momen lebaran yang paling ditunggu waktu kecil itu pas dapet THR. Wangi uang baru yang mengkilat itu salah satu bau yang paling enak selain bau airport. Apalagi almarhum kakek saya pensiunan pegawai BI. Ngga usah lebaran, tiap main ke rumahnya, kantong baju kokonya penuh dengan uang baru. Receh ngga masalah yang penting baru dan wangi, dan kita hampir ngga pernah pulang dengan dompet kosong.
Di keluarga saya, ada tradisi yang paling tua dapet lebih banyak dari yang lain. Semakin muda ya semakin dikit. Saya kombinasi cucu paling tua dari anak tertua. Mantap bener kalo udah lebaran. Bedanya sama yang paling kecil jauh. Beda nominal uangnya😄
Saya berapa kali memperhatikan orangtua yang anaknya masih kecil dan belum ngerti uang menganggap jatah THR anak itu adalah untuk orangtua. Saya agak janggal dengan ini.
Dari dulu, sejak saya sadar arti dan jumlah uang, semua uang yang didapat itu pasti masuk tabungan. Ibu saya buat tabungan untuk kami bertiga masing-masing. Saya inget banget itu di bank pemerintah bisa buat tabungan dengan nama anak dengan QQ orangtuanya. Jadi, setiap lebaran atau ulang tahun semua uang yang kami terima ngga ada yang masuk ke orangtua saya. Semua masuk ke tabungan masing-masing. Boleh diambil seperlunya kalo ada yang mau dibeli.
Menurut saya memang seharusnya seperti itu ya. Itu bukan punya orangtua. Dikasih jelas ke anaknya. Jadi, buat saya agak aneh kalo ada orangtua yang ‘ngambil’ THR anaknya hanya karena anaknya belum ngerti atau cukup umur.
Sejak lebaran pertama Langit tiga tahun lalu, semua uang yang didapat saya masukan satu tabungan yang jarang diotak-atik. Meskipun masih pakai nama saya, tapi hampir semua uang di dalamnya uang Langit. Rencana saya ketika dia sudah ngerti uang, akan saya buatkan tabungan sendiri. Tahun ini jumlahnya sudah lumayan banget. Karena ngga pernah dibeliin apa-apa juga.
Tapi, sejak beberapa hari lalu, saya pikir kenapa harus semuanya disimpen terus. Mungkin akan lebih terasa kalo dia juga bisa nikmatin sesuatu dari uangnya. Saya sudah tau kira-kira baiknya dibelikan apa. Cuma kurang tau persis harganya berapa. Saya ngga mau dibelikan mainan kecil-kecil yang cuma berakhir dipretelin dan rusak gitu aja. Budgetnya agak tinggi ngga masalah karena jumlah uang yang udah disimpen selama tiga tahun pun lumayan. Yang jelas ngga dihabiskan semua.
Saya jarang belikan mainan karena ngga tahan berantakannya. Biasanya juga abis dibeliin, mainin sebentar, bosen trus udah. Makanya lebih rela beli yang ngga mahal dibanding yg murah tapi cuma jadi remah-remah. Boneka sama sekali ngga pernah. Semua boneka pasti karena dikasih. ‘Mainan’ paling banyak yang saya semangat beliinnya buku karena memang Langit juga suka.
Rumah saya hanya sekitar 10-15 menit dari pasar mainan anak-anak yang terkenal tapi belum pernah sama sekali kesana sampai kemarin. Setelah cek di internet harganya lumayan, kami putuskan untuk coba cek di pasar ini kalo aja bisa lebih murah.
Ternyata ngga banyak yang jual. Setelah datengin beberapa toko dan dapet rekomendasi ternyata hanya dua toko yang jual. Toko pertama jual 200 ribu lebih murah dari toko kedua. Biarpun saya memang udah niat, tapi kebiasaan pasti pas mau beli mikir lagi. Biarpun ini memang uangnya Langit dan yakin dia bisa nikmatin dalam jangka waktu yang cukup lama, bisa dimainin bareng-bareng juga kalo sepupu-sepupunya datang. Jadi sebenernya nilai tambahnya cukup banyak.
Akhirnya abis baca bismillah berapa kali, dibayar juga. Lega. Liat muka Langit abis dipasang dan bisa dimainin tambah lega. Apalagi ternyata ada mainan lain seperti ring basket dan xylofonnya. Dua hal yang Langit suka juga. Makin ngga nyesel udah beli. Seneng banget rasanya beli sesuatu yang dia bisa bener-bener nikmatin.
Hal lain yang juga jadi nilai plus dari pembelian ini adalah ngga perlu repot-repot nungguin playground TK depan rumah buka buat main perosotan. Juga ngga perlu ke taman buat main basket sama abg-abg. Semua senang.
Jadi, meskipun space rumah lebih sempit, tabungan lebih sedikit, tapi hati lebih penuh.
Selamat main, bayi kecil!
I had been and might still have been the title with the letters in the bracket since the beginning of motherhood. Being a mother without very least help from the elders, without my own mother, pushed me to go beyond what I could think I was capable doing of.
After 2,5 years, I am slowly heading to the title without the letters in the bracket. Watching Langit grows healthily and happily makes the confidence level is slowly going up. For a pair of mother and daughter who rarely meets others like doing playdate,etc, I rarely have comparison with others. So, basically, Langit is going according to my standard. Not others.
In her 30 months, I just realized that she is doing slightly better than others for certain parts. When I was talking to my sis in law whose daughter only two weeks apart from Langit, she said that Langit has been quite advance in her language. I don’t reallu know what should be a normal 2,5 years toddler acquire, but this is Langit’s :
– Counting 1-20, plus in a reverse way.
– Recognizing almost all colors. She loves purple and pink.
– Recognizing alphabet letters from A-Z, even when we were not going in order.
– Singing a complete few songs with the right tune.
We traveled for homecoming and challenged ourselves to let her travel without any diapers and she did it. Three days traveling without any single diapers and no accidents. She has already done well at home. But, we hadn’t been brave enough to travel without diapers before. So, we tried this one and she did it!! I am very proud of you, baby girl. And of course, you too dear self.
The trip also shown the improvement of her social skill a lot. For an introvert whose strength is not through meeting people, this year homecoming gave another surprise about how much she has improved. She played here and there without me and her father, hugging and kissing her cousins comfortably, not goes same with adults though. But still, she was doing way much better. Her grandma was busy showing off her here and there by continously asking here things, numbers, colors, etc.
I start wondering maybe the time for school is getting near.
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I hate being an unconfident mother. Saying this because I was in that position once when Langit went to the baby class when she was 15-18 months. I felt what I had been doing all day and everyday were useless.
Knowing she couldn’t adjust well to the classroom situations, while others’ child did, it gave me anxiety like piano exam. Watching other families enjoyed the activities instructed well, while I was busy chasing her and there. Not happy. I felt more like a nanny than a mommy.
That was why, right after I decided to stop going to the class, I told myself to stop comparing and looking at others. But still, keep in line. When she was really late, then we did something too.
There’s never been anything instant in my life. Guess it goes the same in raising Langit. When other mothers with similar child age still deal with No-Eating phase until this time, I am confidently say I don’t. I have been bragging too much about this before. The way Langit eats everything, not a session of Gerakan Tutup Mulut happened to me, etc. Exaggerating, perhaps?
I was not.
But, I would emphasize about how I have been through a year full of feeding battle and hassle. Those scary days, three times a day was a nightmare. When feeding time came, don’t ask how heavy this heart was. But still, quit was, is, and will never be in my dictionary. I kept going EVERYDAY, dealing with all those feeding hassles three times a day.
When others mom might have given up thinking there was no need to push, babies would ask for food later of they were hungry. I have fully understood that this kind of statement had more wrong than right.
Eating is a learning process and it takes quite amount of energy to do it for a baby. We teach a little human being whose knowledge about food and eating is zero. They have to learn to distinct the flavours, munch and swallow the food by using their jaws, and many more. Eating, like any other learnings, is tiring for the baby. That is why patience is needed in a big amount during feeding.
There were times I really wanted to give up, but then I knew, once I did it, the second time would be much easier. Then, I would end up giving up one of the most important things a child should get from her parents : the best nutrition in her golden years. Dealing with ‘makan diemut’ for hours seemed to be a better choice than losing.
When this phase was finally over, I couldn’t be happier. Yes, like happiness that won’t last forever, hassle and sadness are doing the same.
I was quite proud to see her among other children in my husband family during homecoming. She showed her manner well, saying thank you and sorry properly, cleaning her own mess, eat properly, rarely being cranky, and with those ‘look-smart’ counting in English, color naming, alphabet and things pointing, no wonder her grandma kept showing her abilities to almost everyone. Though, she’s not the type who enjoys a big full attention to herself, especially from adults.
It feels good knowing that you have been doing a good job. The best part of choosing to stay with the baby, you can take credits for the good result shown.
Don’t be too happy. It goes same thing when your baby shows something unpleasant, then you please take the credits too. What his or her parents doing will be the first that jumps into others’ mind when they see something unpleasant from the baby.
We all judge. No exceptions.
Sometimes, it feels hurt watching the baby slowly grow up right before my eyes. Yes, days are slowly. Years are the flying ones. Since I am living days with her, so it both feels slowly and quickly.
I feel like I will continue being both titles in the future years. The job isn’t going easier and smoother as she grows up. But then, as long as I can, I am heading and will be doing everything within my power, towards the title without the bracket letters.
Among those full of istighfar days in raising a child, there are also days when you feel so happy and grateful having motherhood (and parenthood) as one of the things given in your cards.
Eid Mubarak! Hope you have a blessed and joyful one!
It’s been a while since the last babbling about the baby. I know she is no longer a baby, but still, she is a forever baby to me. Older baby.
Successful toilet training is the biggest milestone achieved this month. Although we had started since the end of last February, but she is only really nailed it recently. It means we had no longer accident, day or night, she can tell when she feels the urge (not like the previously when we had to put her every certain time and told her to pee or poo), also when we go out, she is no longer use diaper too. So now, life is much more easier for this part. Fully toilet trained, halfly saved the precious budget to other things. Alhamdulillah.
Verbal skill is still on progress. Being exposed to two languages at home, she prefers to use the foreign language to refer things around her. Such as using ‘banana’ instead of ‘pisang’, although she knew when we asked her, “banana atau?” She would answer ‘pisang’. Two-words phrase is done and we’re still going and waiting her sentence. We realize she’s somehow late, but since we observe that she keeps improving so far, so we decide to wait and home-train instead of asking outsider help.
I am not against any speech therapies. But for me, I prefer waiting to interferring BECAUSE we keep seeing her improving. If she hasn’t been doing so, maybe we take another more advance step. Beside, like I have always been doing during my 2,5 years of motherhood, waiting. One that has been saving me from lots of harms and disadvantages. I am going the same with this thing.
School. We consider, again, to wait. I have come to a certain decision that it is still not the time for her to go to school.
Why?
She’s just half ready yet.
I set certain points about her school readiness. First, I want her to go to school when she’s already fully toilet-trained and it has just been done recently. Second, I want her to be able to help herself doing things for herself. Example? Wearing clothes alone (shirt still on progress, pants done), wearing her shoes (almost done), putting back things to its places (done), cleaning her own mess (done), helping herself for drink or snack (drink done, she enjoys having water from the dispenser by herself. Over-enjoyed, if I may say. Snack, still not allowed. She still doesn’t know how to stop munching. Eating by herself is halfly done.
Other than those daily things, I want her to be emotionally ready too. I have been observing her during her social interaction with other kids and quite proud knowing her being quite mature.
She knows how to play by herself, knows to not take things that doesn’t belong to her, knows how to soothe herself when she misses something, she is careful and quite easy when others are doing something that disturbs her. Like whe she was playing with a toy and her cousin wants to play with it too, then she just gave it easily. Surely later she has to know when to defend herself, but for now, I prefer her losing for a winning.
Two of her cousins are the type of ones who couldn’t see when other held somehing that they didn’t, so they would ask for it too. So, whenever they play together, she’s been followed around here and there. When she did something, they wanted to do it too, when she played with something, they usually took one she had. It’s pitiful sometimes, but that is fine. It is only a toy, for now. I told her she could play it again later. The bright side, we know who is the leader here. She decides what she wants to play. Not by imitating others.
We had ifthar jama’i last week and I saw the difference between her and her cousin whose birthday is only two weeks apart from her. The way they handled their anger, the way they ate on the table, the eating manner itself, the way they cleaned their mess, I couldn’t be more pleased watching the differences between her and her cousin, in a (very) good way.
Sounds like an annoying brag, right?😆
It’s a brag of course. Which mother doesn’t brag about her achievements these days? I am just like any other mother.
I also encourage her to practice saying thank you and sorry in a suitable situations. Thank you has been acquired better while sorry, we still have to remind her for that.
I will feel more ease to send her to school when she has been equiped by the basic life skills and manners she gets at home. I want my and her dad’s rules that become her guide to do well outside. To herself and to others. It’s not the school jobs. It’s ours.
School can teach other things that, I believe, could be accomplished more easily, like reading, counting, or whatever things they do in school.
Basic life skills and manners, it is and should be on us.
I have been eyeing certain schools within our reach. By our reach I mean the location as well as the budget. Since I am quite knowledgeable in this field, choosing one that suits us better, in any ways, is also important. We agree not to go to those highly expensive famous school, despite the result they offer based on the parents testimonies.
Her most important education will take place at home. One that she goes outside to is for her to see the differences and goes along, adjust well with it. That is why I prefer a school, until certain grades, which allows her to spend only half day of her time there.
This is also why I stay at home. One who needs and deserves my most energy is her, not works. I enjoy working part time with such flexible schedules and being apart from her only for several hours. At least, during her first years, I think staying close to your child is the best.
I had worked crazily enough before motherhood. Seven days a week, in few places, and enjoyed it all. Money was so good of course. Even now, money feels as well good though the numbers are not as big as pre-motherhood. Big numbers are no longer appealing when it means leaving her more.
Okay, time to go now!
Keep healthy and happy, Langit Senja!😘😘😘
Sebelumnya saya pernah menulis tentang judul yang sama hanya saja tentang puasa sunnah di sini.
Alhamdulillah hari ini sudah (atau baru ya?) puasa hari ketujuh dan dalam minggu ini saya sempet dua kali olahraga dan masih menyusui. Kenapa mau nulis lagi, karena ternyata dari beberapa kata pencarian di sini banyak yang mau puasa waktu masih menyusui tapi ragu kuat atau ngga.
Puasa Ramadan itu puasa wajib, namun ada keringanan yang diberikan untuk yang ngga mampu menjalankannya karena fisik yang tidak memungkinkan. Ibu hamil dan menyusui (bisa) dimasukan dalam kategori ini, JIKA memang tidak memungkinkan.
Buat saya JIKA ya. Karena, kalau memang memungkinkan jelas puasa lebih baik. Ini tahun keempat saya puasa Ramadan ketika hamil dan menyusui.
2014
Tahun 2014, saya sedang hamil lima bulan dan saya berpuasa tiga puluh hari penuh dan lanjut ke enam hari puasa Syawal tanpa berurutan. Di tahun ini, pola buka puasa saya berubah setelah sekian lama. Dulu, saya ngga bisa buka langsung makan nasi. Sejak hamil ini, ketika buka minum teh sedikit, makan kurma, dan langsung makan nasi.
Biarpun ngga seberat itu, puasa dalam keadaan hamil juga bukan segampang itu karena ya lumayan juga bawa perut kemana-mana, kebetulan masih kerja juga di dua tempat seminggu lima kali, tiga hari diantaranya saya keluar rumah dua kali, pagi nyetir mobil, yang siang jalan kaki karena kebetulan tempat kerjanya dalam komplek rumah.
Energi yang keluar cukup besar buat saya, dan kalo buka dengan takjil dulu, nafsu makan saya keburu hilang dan malah bikin perut ngga enak. Makan nasinya jug bukan yang kalap ya, karena emang pas buka tu pas disirem teh anget aja udah terasa kenyang ngga sih? Saya iya😀.
Bisa puasa full 30 hari, saya lanjut puasa Syawal enam hari. Enaknya puasa pas hamil, ngga ada utang puasa! Saya dan keluarga menganut paham untuk puasa Syawal, hutang puasa wajib harus lunas dulu.
Perumpaan bayar hutang puasa Ramadan dulu baru puasa Syawal seperti kita punya uang lima juta, antara mau sedekah tapi punya hutang juga. Jelas yang wajib dibayar hutang duluan, bukan sedekah. Setelah hutang lunas baru bisa dan boleh sedekah. Beberapa referensi yang saya baca juga menganjurkan seperti ini.
2015
Tahun 2015, saya puasa Ramadan ketika Langit masuk tujuh bulan dan baru awal-awal MPASI. Saya pikir hamil aja bisa tiga puluh plus enam, yang kali ini ngga akan lebih berat harusnya. Ternyata salah. Tujuh bulan memang sudah ngga ASI eksklusif ya, tapi frekuensi menyusui masih cukup intens. Makanan pendamping masih bersifat support ASI.
Puasa tahun ini buat saya yang paling berat. Awal MPASI masih sibuk cari-cari menu, kasih makan sehari tiga kali, nyiapin buka dan sahur untuk orang serumah, dan kerja. Saya lepas satu tempat kerja setelah melahirkan karena waktu yang ngga memungkinkan untuk tetap di dua tempat.
Lewat jam 12, rasa hausnya mulai dateng karena dari pagi sibuk ngurus semua, sambil menyusui langsung juga. Saat buka puasa, energinya hampir habis. Kenapa ngga batal? Menurut saya batal bukan solusi. Langitnya juga baik-baik aja. Alhamdulillah, saya dikasih istirahat seminggu ketika haid datang. Itu pertama kali saya haid setelah 1,5 tahun absen. Selama ASI eksklusif saya ngga haid sama sekali.
Masuk Syawal, saya mulai cicil bayar hutang. Tenyataaa, puasa di bulan Syawal lebih berat lagi dibanding puasa Ramadan. Mungkin entah karena suasana yang beda, dimana Ramadan lebih terasa santai, semua orang juga memang puasa, jadi ya biasa aja. Saya ngga bisa nyelesain puasa Ramadan saya di Syawal dan cuma bisa nyelesain tiga hari hutang puasa.
Saya sudah puasa sunnah senin kamis sejak tahun 2003. Berenti puasa ketika pas hamil 6 bulan keluar flek. Jadi sampe 6 bulan, saya masih sambil puasa sunnah ketika hamil. Rasanya biasa aja juga. Tapi, setelah melahirkan, lalu menyusui, saya ngga bisa balik puasa sunnah karena… ngga tahan laper karena menyusui😕. Niatnya mau puasa lagi abis Langit MPASI, tapi ternyata hati kurang kuat. Tunda lagi.
Akhirnya karena kesadaran yang sudah terus terganggu, berhasil juga balik puasa senin kamis di akhir tahun 2015. Selain mulai lagi puasa senin kamis, saya juga balik olahraga.
Enam bulan pertama MPASI, benar-benar menyita waktu dan energi. Saya vakum puasa dan olahraga selama enam bulan itu. Ngga heran badan saya kaya ikan paus dengan nafsu makan kaya kuda (karena babi ngga terdengar menyenangkan).
2016
Tahun 2016 Alhamduillah puasa sunnah udah balik normal lagi, olahraga rutin seminggu dua kali, masih terus nyusuin. Ketika Ramadan tahun 2016, saya tadinya mau tetap olahraga, tapi waktu itu saya belum keluar dari masa kegelapan ngasih makan. Langit masih makan diemut. Ngga ada energi sisa untuk olahraga juga, sementara puasa Ramadan wajib dan terus menerus selama sebulan. Jadi, break dulu olahraga sebulan.
2017
Tahun ini, Langit sudah 2,5 tahun dan saya masih menyusui. Iya, belum (berhasil) disapih. Saya lebih milih toilet training dulu, yang alhamdulillah sudah tercapai siang malam, tanpa kecelakaan. Menyusui memang ngga sesering dulu, tapi ya masih lumayan sering juga. Tapi, mungkin karena sudah biasa juga di puasa senin kamis, jadi puasa Ramadan sambil menyusui memang ngga terasa berat.
Selasa lalu saya pertama kali coba puasa, ikut kelas olahraga dan tetap menyusui. Saya cuma ikut 45 menit karena saya ngga suka bagian latihan lantai. Kebetulan juga ada urusan lagi setelah itu. Sepanjang hari hingga buka, alhamdulillah ngga segitu haus kaya bayangan saya. Selain ngurangin waktu, saya juga sedikit ngerem di gerakan. Ketika high impact, saya sesuaikan aja.
Hari ini, saya olahraga lagi dan instruktur yang hari ini kebetulan puasa juga. Ternyata instruktur yang puasa lebih kejam dari yang ngga puasa. Saya sempet break dua kali. Terakhir dia pake lantai juga saya skip. Saya ngga suka lantai (sama sekali). Ngga papa de perutnya ngga rata.
Sepanjang hari rasa haus sih ngga seberapa, ngantuknya yang parah banget. Abis mandi langsung ketiduran tiga jam penuh😴😴😴.
Satu yang saya tanamkan di hati dan pikiran, puasa Ramadan yang paling penting dibanding olahraga dan untuk tahun ini, sudah lewat dua tahun, menyusui juga bukan wajib lagi (buat saya). Jadi, kalau tetap mau olahraga, harus tau diri juga.
Buat yang ragu, insya Allah puasa sambil hamil dan menyusui sangat mungkin dilakukan kok. Selain niat yang kuat, perlu juga atur kegiatan dan hal lain yang bisa meringankan puasa sambil ngurus bayi. Di hari saya olahraga dan puasa, makanan yang Langit suka wajib ada. Drama makan memang alhamdulillah udah lewat, tapi saya tetap cari aman.
Oya! Salah satu yang menurut saya wajib dilakukan adalah majukan waktu makan anak ketika puasa. Sesudah buka, energi sudah habis. Ngantuk pula. Belum mau solat tarawih juga. Kayanya ngga ada energi lagi kalo harus ngurus makanin anak. Karena saya dari awal Langit makan memang sudah menerapkan hal ini, jadi ketika puasa tinggal ikutin aja. Tiga kali makan besar, sudah harus selesai sebelum maghrib. Setelah maghrib, waktunya tidur untul Langit dan istirahat untuk saya.
Semua urusan yang berat saya selesaikan di pagi hari. Saya juga punya daftar menu makan untuk sahur,masak, takjil, dan makan malam yang saya buat per minggu. Jangan salah, perencanaan yang detil itu sangat menghemat energi lho. Apalagi selain ngurus bayi, saya juga harus ngurus tiga laki-laki lain. Alhamdulillah juga kerjaan rumah ada ART pulang pergi yang ngerjain.
Semoga yang berniat puasa selagi menyusui dan mau olahraga juga dimudahkan ya niat baiknya. Triple ibadah, insya Allah pasti dikasih jalan kalau memang benar-benar mau melakukan semua. Apalagi Ramadan yang cuma setaun sekali. Sayang kalo dilewatkan.
Sehar dan lancar semua puasa dan ibadah lainnya ya!
A Penny for My Pensieve 