Posted in Thoughts

New Year’s Wishes

Posted on by arlanadya

Bonjour!!

It’s been quite some times after the last post in 2016. New number on the calendar means another year closer to the expired date. Haha, such a gloomy first greeting😀

I stopped having certain clear resolutions after 2012. It was when my steps were finally slowing down after several years running fast, hard, and going here and there a lot. 2012 was the year of fulfilled-dreams. Years after that, life had been more of living the real life dealing with marriage and motherhood.

2016 gave some surprises beyond the wildest thought. Never thought that Paris was finally checked in 2016. The long awaited and most wanted Paris was granted beautifully. 

But then, nothing good comes easy. 2016 also gave one of the most unpleasant surprises. Some relationships meant to be changed due to some circumstances. I nearly forgot there had never been great things fulfilled without having some precious ones taken, like 2012 did to me.

When most people said 2016 was absolutely terrible, I came to say it was terribly great in both ways. Paris was equally worth the pain.
After the big three dreams were all accomplished, I don’t have much to be looked forward to for personal stuff. The wishes become more abstract. Motherhood becomes top priority. I am pretty much done with myself.

So, let’s pray for more strength and patience to be bestowed to go through whatever life brings this year. Health and wealth in true faith until the end.

Amin.

Posted in Books, Maternité, Review

Review Buku : Bringing Up Bébé by Pamela Druckerman

Posted on by arlanadya

Ini pertama kalinya saya mereview buku. Buku parenting yang udah cukup lama saya baca sinopsisnya tapi belum baca lengkap. Dua hari ini internet rumah bermasalah jadi ngga bisa nonton korea. Tumbennya, saya ngga terlalu grasa grusu minta dibenerin kaya biasa. Malah sibuk cari bacaan dan inget ini.

Buku ini menceritakan Pamela, seorang ibu Amerika yang tinggal di Paris melihat bahwa orangtua dan anak-anak Prancis itu berbeda dengan anak-anak dan orangtua di Amerika. Pamela mengamati bahwa anak-anak Prancis sudah tidur sepanjang malam di tiga bulan usia mereka, makan dengan baik, makan segala jenis sayuran, jarang tantrum, bisa menikmati waktu mereka sendiri tanpa harus ditemani orangtua terus menerus dan masih banyak lagi.

Di buku ini dijelaskan bahwa orang Prancis itu punya standar yang SAMA tentang cara mereka mengasuh bayi. Seperti kurikulum yang terstandarisasi secara nasional, dipakai satu negara. Ngga ada yang namanya parenting expert atau aliran-aliran yang berbeda, semua menjalani hal yang sama. Ngga ada beda pola asuh sama mertua karena ya semua menjalani hal yang sama.

Perkenalan di buku ini dimulai dari pengamatan Pamela tentang bagaimana anak-anak Prancis bersikap ketika makan di restoran. Dia membandingkannya dengan anaknya sendiri. Dia melihat anak-anak Prancis duduk tenang di high chairnya, ,menunggu makanannya, dan menghabiskan makanan mereka dengan tenang. Hal ini dia amati bukan pada satu dua orang. Dari cara makan ini, Pamela mulai memperhatikan hal-hal lain dan menyadari, orangtua Prancis ini melakukan sesuatu yang berbeda dari orangtua Amerika yang dia tau.

Pertanyaan pertanyaan seperti bagaimana anak Prancis bisa makan sayur tanpa paksaan, mereka hanya makan pada saat waktu makan dan tidak ada atau hampir tidak ada jam snack, anak-anak terlihat gembira dan orangtua mereka sangat atentif, bayi sudah tidur sepanjang malam sejak usia tiga bulan, anak-anak Prancis tidak tantrum sedangkan anaknya adalah satu-satunya yang melakukan itu ketika di taman, dan masih banyak lagi.

Semakin menggali dan bertanya, Pamela menemukan bahwa orangtua Prancis tersebut tidak merasa melakukan sesuatu yang istimewa dan hampir semua orangtua yang dia temui pun melakukan hal yang sama. Para orangtua di Prancis dapat mengatur bagaimana mereka terlibat tanpa jadi terobsesi terhadap anak mereka. Mereka sangat menyadari bahwa orangtua tidak harus selalu menjadi ‘pelayan’ anak, bahkan sedari mereka kecil.

Saya sudah 2 tahun jadi ibu dan mempraktekan duluan isi buku ini bukan karena lebih tau dari penulisnya, tapi karena dibesarkan dengan cara yang sama oleh ibu yang menghabiskan lebih dari 35th hidupnya dengan budaya Prancis yang kuat. Termasuk cara mendidik anak.

Ini terdengar ngga meyakinkan karena ketika saya jadi ibu, ibu saya sudah ngga ada. Saya menjalani hal yang sama dengan bekal semua ingatan tentang banyaknya obrolan dengan ibu saya. Makin ngga meyakinkan karena seberapa banyak sih bisa ingat buat praktekin semua?

Jawabannya : banyak, karena cuma sedikit.

Ide besar french parenting ini cuma dua. Ada DUA hal utama yang dijalankan oleh seluruh orangtua di Prancis yang mana dua hal tersebut merupakan dua hal dasar yang harus dikuasai anak sejak bayi. Dua hal paling penting yang sangat berpengaruh ke banyak hal dalam hidup, hingga dewasa.

Makan dan tidur.

Dua hal utama ini juga hal saya terapkan :

1. Jadwal waktu dan tempat tidur.

Bayi diajarkan untuk tidur sendiri sejak dia pulang ke rumah dan setelah tiga bulan mereka sudah bisa tidur semalaman tanpa terbangun.

Seperti yang ada di buku, anak saya tidur di kamar sendiri dan di tempat tidur sendiri sejak dia pulang ke rumah. Kalau kamar sendiri agak sulit, seminimal-minimalnya adalah tempat tidur sendiri.

Buat saya, tiga trimester pertama ngga ada apa2nya dibanding trimester ke 4 alias tiga bulan pertama. Dengan bantuan yang waktu itu cukup minim, hal yang paling logis dilakulan adalah memudahkan diri sendiri dan cara ini salah satunya.

Dengan tidur sendiri di kamar sendiri, sangat membantu buat saya yang menganggap tidur malam cukup itu adalah separuh dari kesehatan jiwa. Kalo waktu dan tempat tidur ini ngga saya terapkan dari awal, mungkin trimester lima dan seterusnya akan sama ngerinya.

Setelah tiga bulan, jarang sekali saya bangun tengah malam. Seperti yang ditulis di buku ini, kalo nangis biasanya saya ngga langsung dateng. Tunggu dulu. Kalo masih nangis baru diliat, bukan diangkat. Di puk2 dulu. Biasanya berenti tidur lagi. Kalo ngga berenti juga baru dicek popoknya basah atau ngga. Kalo basah ganti. Kalo ngga puk-puk lagi sampai tidur.

Sekali lagi, ini adalah dalam kondisi normal bayi sehat ya. Karena ada masanya bayi mengalami growth spurt atau memang lagi sakit.

Belajar tidur sepanjang malam ini dilakukan secara bertahap Bayi menyusu tengah malem wajar di beberapa minggu sampai bulan pertama. Tapi bisa dilatih dengan mulai kasih interval. Awal-awal dua jam sekali, pelan-pelan naikin jadi tiga-empat jam sekali. Lalu jadi lima-enam jam sekali. Lama-lama akan tidur sepanjang malam setelah tiga bulan.

Ini agak sulit karena pasti resah denger bayi nangis dan orang Indonesia itu ngga tegaan. Di sini baik bayi dan orangtuanya sama-sama belajar. Si bayi belajar untuk menidurkan dirinya sendiri, orangtuanya belajar mengenali jenis tangisan bayinya. Dua-duanya belajar menahan diri buat menghadapi PR masing-masing. Kalo tiap nangis diangkat, orangtua merusak proses belajar bayinya.

Apa sih kok bayi disuruh belajar menahan diri?

Proses belajar tidur yang ngga tuntas ini efeknya akan terlihat di jangka panjang. Anak-anak yang kurang bisa mengendalikan emosi, cepat menyerah dan berhenti ketika mengalami kesulitan, ngga sabar melakukan sesuatu sampai selesai, dan ini akan terbawa hingga dewasa.

Setelah tiga bulan, semua lebih mudah karena jadwal dan jam biologisnya sudah terbentuk. Shift saya selalu mulai di jam 4 pagi dan berakhir di jam 8 malam maksimal. Di atas jam 8 waktunya saya istirahat. Ini berlaku di manapun, termasuk liburan. Juga sangat memudahkan sekali ketika sudah masuk usia sekolah. Ngga pernah ada cerita saya nungguin begadang.

2. Makan

Banyak sekali di post sebelumnya saya menjelaskan bahwa makan adalah satu hal paling penting yang tidak bisa ditawar. Sejak Langit mulai makan, apapun keadaannya, kata tidak mau makan ngga ada di kamus saya. Ngga suka satu, saya akan ganti yang lain. Makannya lama, saya tunggu (sambil marah-marah). Selain itu, Langit harus makan apa yang disediakan. Di usia 10 bulan saya mulai mengenalkan merica, ,di 11 bulan Langit mulai makan cabe merah, dan makan seperti yang orang dewasa makan. Langit tau dimana dia harus duduk ketika makan, dan tau makan hanya selesai ketika piringnya kosong. Sampai hari ini, saya belum pernah mengalami gerakan tutup mulut yang terkenal itu.

Bukan karena sekedar persisten, tapi juga karena rasa. Seperti yang dijelaskan di buku ini, anak-anak Prancis telah terbiasa sedari awal terpapar dengan banyak macam rasa. Sayur, buah ,karbohidrat, protein. Itu juga yang saya lakukan. Buat saya, bayi itu seperti orang dewasa, apa enaknya makan makanan hambar bukan? Garam bukan satu-satunya penambah rasa. Ada banyak pengganti garam, yang alami. Langit terbiasa dengan rasa yang kuat. Makanan gorontalo seperti kua bugis, garo, bilandango, iloni, atau apapun itu punya rasa yang kuat.

Tapi, bukan berarti tidak makan yang hambar. Langit makan segala jenis sayur, dari yang di tumis seperti toge, sawi, atau sayur kukus seperti labu dan kacang panjang, atau yang berbumbu balado seperti pare dan terong. Langit juga tidak punya snack time khusus. Makan umumnya dilakukan pada jam makan.

Sejalan dengan hal ini, di salah satu keluarga yang Pamela wawancarai, ibu Prancis ini menganut prinsip makan adalah tentang mencoba berbagai rasa yang disediakan. Tidak masalah seberapa banyak yang anak-anaknya habiskan, tapi yang wajib adalah mencoba semua yang disediakan. Tidak ada istilah menu anak. Anak makan sesuai dengan yang orang dewasa makan, hanya tekstur disesuaikan. Tidak heran anak-anak Prancis tersebut sudah dapat membedakan berbagai jenis rasa keju, yang merupakan salah satu makan wajib di Prancis.

Ketika ada satu jenis makanan yang anak tidak suka, bukannya di stop tapi diberikan kembali dalam tekstur yang berbeda. Salah satu hal yang membuat saya tertawa adalah cerita Pamela tentang suaminya yang menghadiri acara dengan teman-teman kantornya. Suaminya memceritakan bahwa teman-teman lakinya tidak membicarakan wanita sama sekali. Mereka hanya membahas satu hal : makanan.😁

Selain tidur dan makan, ada satu hal penting lain yang harus diajarkan sejak dini oleh orangtua kepada anak-anak : menyapa Bonjour.

Satu bab di buku ini menceritakan tentang bagaimana menyapa dengan Bonjour adalah hal yang sangat krusial di Prancis. Hal ini bukan sekedar norma sosial, tetapi juga merupakan program nasional. Anak-anak Prancis bisa dimaafkan jika mereka belum bisa mengatakan tolong dan terima kasih, tapi tidak jika mereka lupa/sengaja tidak menyapa ‘Bonjour’. Mereka akan dicap sebagai anak yang tidak terdidik dengan baik.

Bab lainnya juga menceritakan betapa pasangan Prancis ini mengutamakan hubungan antara suami istri, dan mereka sebagai individu di atas anak-anak mereka. Sejak usia awal, anak-anak Prancis sudah masukan creche atau day care dan ibu mereka kembali bekerja. Adalah hal yang normal orangtua menitipkan anaknya ketika weekend,bisa kepada kakek neneknya atau baby sitter sementara mereka akan bepergian. Salah satu orangtua menerapkan ketik weekend, anak-anaknya tidak diizinkan untuk membuka pintu kamar orangtua mereka sampai orangtuanya sendiri yang membuka pintu kamarnya.

Salah satu pengamatan Pamela tentang orangtua Amerika yang menurut saya juga mirip sekali dengan banyak kasus di Indonesia adalah over-stimulating. Ia menjelaskan bagaimana seorang anak sudah dijejali dengan berbagai kursus olahraga,seni, dan skill kognitif lainnya sejak usai dini. Sedangkan orangtua Prancis sama sekali tidak melakukan hal tersebut. Satu kalimat yang paling saya ingat dan suka, “toddler job is clear, they’re toddling around,”.

Baca sampai bab 13, ngga berenti-berenti saya heran, kagum, seneng, dengan semua yang ditulis buku ini. Kenapa? Buku ini menjelaskan, menceritakan dan menjabarkan dengan detil hampir semua hal yang saya lakukan selama dua tahun jadi ibu yang ternyata sudah dijalankan oleh satu negara yang entah sejak kapan dan semua hal ini dijalankan berdasarkan riset. Bukan sekedar budaya yang ngga jelas akarnya.

Secara subyektif, saya jelas sangat menyukai buku ini karena hampir di seluruh babnya sangat relatable dengan yang saya alami, terapkan, dan puas dengan hasilnya. Metode ini berjalan baik untuk saya dan Langit. Meskipun saya kerja part-time dan kebanyakan nemenin Langit di rumah,saya punya waktu sendiri yang tidak terganggu. Saya menyediakan play yard supaya dia bisa bermain sendiri dan tidak mengganggu ketika saya di dapur misalnya. Saat ini, meskipun jarang main di play yard, kalo saya ingin istirahat saya biarkan dia main sendiri sementara saya tidur siang. Dan dia sangat ngerti untuk tidak ganggu. Kalo sudah cape,dia akan tidur sendiri di kasurnya.

Secara objektif, cover di buku ini menjelaskan bahwa bukan hanya saya yang bilang bagus. Ini merupakan salah satu New York Times best seller untuk buku parenting.

Kalo What To Expect saya anggap seperti buku petunjuk parenting dan perkembangan bayi di setiap bulan, Bringing Up Bébé ini seperti baca novel yang sangat enak dibaca, lebih lagi, karena sudah diterapkan, jadi sangat menikmati😊

Kalo mau baca sinopsis yang bahasa Inggris bisa ke link ini.

Semoga tertarik membaca ya buat (calon) orangtua😀!

My other Parenting Pensieve :

← Back

Thank you for your response. ✨

Parenting Around the World

Lazy Parenting

Flash Back Parenting

Introverted Parenting

Parenting : a learning from the past

Posted in Langit Senja, Maternité, Thoughts

It’s Matched!

Posted on by arlanadya

I once wrote about five different things about Langit here.

Reading Pamela Druckerman’s Bringing Up Bébé can’t stop me from smiling. 

It explains precisely what I have been applying for these two years raising the baby, those all were done too in French parenting.

I also once wrote about this. It turns out that French gives more influences than I thought. 

After all, no wonder I love this country a lot.

Pamela Druckerman is an American mother who raises her daughter in Paris and found lots of fact how French children act differently from Americans,in a good way. 
Comparing to what happen in Indonesia, here is pretty similar with those American style. Reading this one will give another good point of view about parenting, which I have been doing and finding it works well with me. Very well. Not to say it is the best one, of course😊.

If you’re fond of any parenting books, try not to skip this one!

Posted in Maternité, Thoughts

School is (not yet) Cool

Posted on by arlanadya

Parenting provides many theories that will give you headache when you try your best to follow them. It sounds good and ideal when you read them, but when you go to the real practice, nah, no single good theories seem fit to every parenting. 

Combinations of parents situation, support systems, child preference, and many other things that make one thing works well with some while fails for others. School, baby school to be precise, is one thing that we thought before would work well for the baby but turned out it didn’t.

School here means a playschool. An hour a week, with parents involved. We thought she needed some interactions with other same age kids, and my sister in law recommended one that her child attended.

The first term we joined the class, it was far from our expectations. The baby was hardly enjoy the activities, less attentive facilitators, more, it gives me anxiety. While other families were busy doing what’s been instructed, I was busy chasing the baby here and there. More, le husband was rarely present due to his shift schedules. So, when others were at least a team of two or even three, I was often a solo fighter. Eight out of eight meetings, never once we skipped it. No matter how anxious I had been, I am never a quitter.

Finished one term, did we give up? No, we signed for another term, reluctantly ( for me). Thought it might be better since she had it for the second time. Thought she would and should have been more familiar with the activities, the class, and others.

The second term turned out to be … not any better. It made at least both of the mother and baby felt tired enough. I decided to stop coming after six meetings. We had had enough. 

After she turned two few last weeks, the schooling idea was brought up again, more from her dad, to make the verbal skill better. I have been torn in between. In spite my hesitations here and there, I didn’t just sit around and wait. I visited nearby daycare and pre-school, asked about their programme, and sadly, not one suited me. Instead of explained what they have, do,and offer there, they went with the numbers we should pay first. Such a major turn off.

Last week, she had a trial in another one with le husband while I was working and the result was pretty much same. She couldn’t stand being inside for quite some time, doing any sitting activities, but survived well in the playground.

I am getting more and more certain, she hasn’t been into and ready for school yet.

I decided and had it pictured from a long time ago, once I am a mother, I will stay with my child while working for several hours, in certain days. Lucky enough, the wish is granted. I work three days a week, for maximum of four hours, in a close distance workplace from home. Even one of them is within walking distance.

I strongly believe, no matter what and how, the best nurture in early life of a child comes from the mother. I believe the baby’s first and best school is the one at home with the mother. Even in Islam, it says the children first madrasah (school) is mother. No matter how lazy,ignorant or whatever bad things the mother has, guess no mothers want their child to be lack of something. Same goes with me.

I might be not that expert, nor patient, but I surely care about my own baby. Taking care the baby alone pushes me to read and read more. Combine it with my own intuition, up to now, we’re doing good. Alhamdulillah. I dare say, except the verbal skill, the baby is somehow doing differently well from others, like these and this.

I have been pushing myself to go out more often,bring the baby to groceries, driving somewhere nearby, enjoying ice cream at the restaurant, just two of us alone. Surprisingly, I enjoy it a lot. Even more pleasant, the baby seems happy too. We sing during driving, mentioning name of things, or eating snacks. She sits nicely next to the driver, me.

We have a singing time every Wednesday morning. Sing the children songs while I am playing piano. She is able to sit only up to four songs, the rest she is doing it while going here and there.

Then, today I found a very good reading that matched my questions about sending a baby this age to school. The answers bring my confidence back and happy that what I believe is something that I can still hold on to.

The current best school for my baby is still at home, with me.

Have a good read on this one!

Posted in Past learning, Thoughts

The Other Side of November

Posted on by arlanadya

Like everything in this world, there’s always two sides of something. So is November. After the happy occasion, then we move to the other side.

It’s been four years, yet it still can’t be helped to remember every details without flowing tears. A dark rainy afternoon made the pain felt more hurt and real. As if the sky was crying a lot with her gone.

The one who set the standard how one should live. Do your best, dream and make it real, finish what you have started, give a lot, trust your own self and your God the most, don’t take what is not yours, and know how to feel enough with what you have and been given. 

The one who had the honour to left exactly two weeks after Hajj, paid her zakat, fasting for five days, done ashar prayer, and recited syahadat. 


The one who really showed the best way one should live and the most wanted way one would return.

The woman I call mother.

In this life, I have so many things I have been so grateful for. Being my mom’s daughter was, is, and will always be on the top of my list.

It’s greater than gratefulness. It’s an honour to be given birth, raised, and loved by her.

Sending my best prayer for the one I love the most.

Till we meet again, bu…

Posted in Langit Senja, Maternité

The Enjoyably Challenging Second Year

Posted on by arlanadya

Another year has passed!!

Alhamdulillah. 

Motherhood is surely never getting easier by years. When you’re done with something, then another one followed. It will give you new things to learn until the end.

Second year might not be easier, but it is surely more enjoyable in some parts that the first year wasn’t. Second year allowed us to go as far as Paris, enjoyed the trip healthily and back home happily without having too much concern about doing breastfeeding in public, bringing baby’s food here and there, finding baby chair, or baby friendly restaurant.

The perks of having little help around is you can (and have to) do almost everything by yourself. It might be tired sometimes,but honestly this one really works for both of us well.

These two introverts work best when it is just the two of us. Since months ago, we’re able to go here and there by ourselves. Either by driving alone or by taxi,even bajaj. Groceries, pediatrician visit, playing in indoor playground, or wherever as long as the distance is reasonable. Without any companions, it’s more enjoyable,at least for me. The baby, as long as she has her snack,books, and some songs to sing, we’re good.

Being with her 24/7 makes almost everything that I set for her work efficiently. She eats nicely, sitting on the chair until the end, eat what has been served, three times a day. People are often surprised knowing what she eats. She eats pare, kuabugis kambing, curry, ikan balado, she eats all.

I have seen enough parents who do almost everything for their children. With everything, I mean like small tasks that the child actually can do. Since I have no help, the best thing to do is to teach the baby to do things for herself by herself.

She knows now that she has to put her shoes in the rack, changed her clothes after going out, put  the dirty laundry in the basket, return things to its places, and she has some small tasks like when it’s time for fruit shopping, it is her job to put he oranges to the bowl. She will happily bring a plastic bag of oranges to the kitchen, then put those one by one to the fruit bowl. Then, she puts the plastic bag to the rack.

She also knows that she has to clean up her own mess. Whenever she spills something, I give her tissue then she starts cleaning. Though it’s not that clean, it’s good enough for a two year baby. After cleaning, she puts the tissue to the trash bin. 

One of my golden rules for her is she can’t take, play, or use something that doesn’t belong to her. She start having better and better understanding with this. Once, in her grandma’s house, she saw a phone on the table and seemed interesting in it. She looked at it for a while and seemed want to touch it. Then, she stopped and left it alone.

Even when she took mine or her dad’s, when we ask it back, she runs fast and give it back while saying ‘hasyi’ (makasi-red)😀.

She knows it’s time to pray when adzan is heard. She knows she has to be silent during adzan. After I finish praying, she will sit on my lap,raising her hand like doing pray position, then I recite the pray. At the end, she will say Amin happily. My hilarious baby girl😁.

Showing anger,dislikeness and similar unpeasant emotions is someting challenging to deal with on this second year. More patiences are keep being uploaded (slowly).

Her vocabularies are getting better by days. Some songs she has been halfly able to sing it start being completed. Like her favorite alphabet song, the letters are now almost completed all. Two words sentence is still on progress. 

Alhamdulliah, until now, she hasn’t tasted any medecine and go to the doctor only when it is her vaccine schedule. While she also doesn’t let me experience the famous GTM. A healthy child is worth more than any big amounts of money.

Well, mother surely talk (and brag) a lot about their child (and their achievements), don’t they?

Then, I have said enough.

Saying that I had little help around might be true and untrue.I surely don’t have any babysitter or full time helper taking care the baby, house, and the men. But, I surely always have the invisible hand whose help always comes in the right time.

The assurance that I won’t be ever left alone, going through whatever things happen to me, gives more strength than one could imagine.All of us being healthy, financially suffice, no, it’s not merely on us. It’s the One, The Greatest that allows it to be happened.

So, our greatest gratefulness always be for Allah Al-Mighty.

Happiest birthday, Langit Senja Almakirana. You don’t need to be the best in everything. Be the very best of the ultimate version of yourself. You’ve been doing well and will keep doing so.

I might often being impatient. Bear with me,  baby. Nothing I have done and will do unless I hope it will be good for you.

Be very sure that you will always have my loudest, longest,and most sincere pray to be with you through all the way.

Too happy, are you?😆

Keep healthy and happy like you always do. I love you.

The little pianist in Charles de Gaulle boarding lounge

Ready for more adventures, shall we?I am more ready than you are, Mom😉

Posted in Places, Travel

Moving On Is Hard

Posted on by arlanadya
Maubert Mutualité metro station. The nearest one from the apartment
Jardin des Tuilleries
Pont des Arts

A month passed and still can’t get over the dream trip. Couldn’t help posting unposted pictures of this beautiful city until now. Every corner gives the highest pleasure for your eyes, which will be forever saved in your heart.

You will never get bored in and of Paris.
Ever, I guess.

Posted in Places, Thoughts, Travel

7 Days in Paris (With A Toddler)

Posted on by arlanadya

It’s been quite some times this one is saved on the draft. It is not a typical clean, straight, and easy to read itinerary. Too wordy. This one is for me to remember.
Why do I put the words on the bracket? Because, the places we chose to visit, when and where also  halfly decided according to the baby. We decided to visit some places in the last minutes.

We started wandering from the very first day we set the foot in Paris. We went out twice a day daily. The morning trip was for main attractions while the afternoon one for the ones within walking distance from our appartment, or just short trip by bus. 

We had a break during morning and afternoon, resting and lazing around while doing photos posting and also prayed once our jama qashar time had expired on the third day. 

We went out around 8.30-9.00 until 13.00 – 14.00, had a break until ashar around 16.00-16.30, then continued wandering until maghrib, around 18.00-18.30. During our stay, daylight saving time, the changing time from autumn to winter happened, so the pray time also became an hour earlier, so was our afternoon trip. 

(Half) Day 1 – afternoon trip only

11.30 : arrived at Charles de Gaulle. 14.00 : check-in, cleaning,resting. 15.30 : first wander around neighbourhood and happened to arrive at Sorbonne University. Then, we stopped by at Franprix for small groceries.

Day 2

Morning trip

9.15 : Monge Mutualité bus stop to Eiffel Tower.

We spent time around park Champ de Mars, the yard in front of Eiffel Tower taking pictures, then crossing the street and found a carousel near Pont d’Iena. Played with Langit for one round, then climbed up to Trocadero.

We proceeded to the unfamous Rue Clér where le husband wanted to see a pop up market and ended up resting in one of the cafe enjoying baguette and hot tea.

14.00 : Back to appartment

Afternoon trip

16.30 : heading to Pantheon by walk. It was close to closing time and our intention was to buy Museum Pass for visiting Louvre and Versailles on the next following days.

Museum Pass is available in almost all museums and main attractions. It is available based on the days validity, either 2 days, 4 days, or 6 days. We only bought for two days. Honestly, I halfly regreted it. 96 euros for two persons couldn’t be used effectively. I prefered use the rest of it for more food or anything else. Never mind, anyway.

From Pantheon, we were heading home and accidentally found a small book store in a smal alley where we stopped for a while. I found some interesting children pop up books. I adore pop up books and ended up went home with three of them.

We then wandered along Boulevard Saint Germain. Watching people, taking pictures, enjoying the lively Latin Quarter. I am not into crowd, but really, I love Latin Quarter. It was crowdy in a pleasant way, for me. Listening the noise of people talking French, I love that sound!


Day 3

Morning trip

8.45 : Heading to Jardin Tuilleries and Musée du Louvre

We took a breath and wandered aroun Jardin Tuilleries for  a while. Rows of autumn trees with morning sunlight were so amazing. It was quite cold and we had a smokey breath.

We arrived at Louvre and luckily skipped the long line. Not because of we had Museum Pass with us but the baby. We went straight to the middle door while having the people stared at us.

Enjoying Louvre for only two sections. Middle age and Islamic Art. I have never been into any art or museums actually. But, Louvre has quite stunning collections. We also saw the reverse triangle before heading to Printemps.

Done with Louvre, we went out and had a lunch nearby. Then, we crossed the street and waited for the bus to Notre Dame. It took quite a while until the bus came, so Langit and I enjoyed playing on the bridge while watching ferries passed by The Seine. I don’t know why, I love watching Seine. Just stood up and watched felt pretty soothing.

13.00 : Notre Dame

We lined up for this one, but of course the line wasn’t as long as Louvre. Surprisingly, there was no entrance ticket checking although we had the Museum Pass with us. 

In Notre Dame, we were just having a round tour. Since I am not going to church, so I didn’t find any particular interest for it. Beside, it was pretty dark inside, so we hadn’t be able to see and actually understand well what had been shown there.

After Notre Dame, we went home by walk.

Afternoon trip

16.30 : Jardin du Luxembourg

The second Jardin for today. Jardin du Luxembourg is a large and beautiful one. Langit enjoyed playing, running, chasing bird, and she was so eager to jump to the pond where some ducks were enjoying their afternoon. We stayed there until the gate almost closed at 18.00. 



Day 4

Morning trip

8.10 : heading to Chateau de Versailles.

It was Saturday morning and we had planned in advance to go north west to Versailles. Versailles is located outside Paris and we needed to take RER C train to get there. We catched the 8.30 bus from Clunny La Sorbonne metro station.

RER train is above my expectation. I thought it is just like KLIA express. But, it turned out bigger and more spacious. It is a double decker train. For departing trip, we chose the below seats while chosed the upper ones for return. The train was quite empty. The fare is slightly higher than metro. For return tickets, we paid 14 euros for 2 persons.

Versailles is one that I was really eager to visit. I read a lot about it, had it pictured in my head about how beautiful it is. Many forums said although the line would be quite long, it would be worth the time doing it. So, I was so full of hope.

Sadly, it was only one third came true. On that Saturday, it was pretty full. The line was quite tolerable, but not the tourists. Specifically, those pretty loud, annoying large group of tourists from China. There were a lot of them, liked taking selfies in almost every pictures, and really, so unpleasant. I skipped rooms where I saw a bunch of them inside. We went around to the King’s room and the main palace. It was surely beautiful. We skipped the park since the museum pass didn’t include the park. Another 9 euro per person is needed to enter the park. Thank you, 18 euros can be saved for a good lunch.

It was colder in Versailles than Paris. So, we finished the main palace, rested for a moment in one of the benches while sipping hot chocolate and sandwich we brought, then went back to metro station for another RER train riding to Paris.

10.30 : back from Versailles and heading to Centre Pompidou
This one was my husband’s idea knowing our museum pass would be expired this day. I was quite against it since I knew that none of us were really into art, let alone modern art. When we saw the queue, I was getting more uninterested. So, we canceled and just wandered around the area while searching places for lunch. We ended up having an outdoor lunch on.

13.00 : Back to the apartment

Afternoon Trip

16.30 : Shakespeare Company and street musician watching around Notre Dame.

Shakespeare Company had been one of a must visit for me and le husband for a different reason. I am Before trilogy shipper and this book store is the place where Jesse and Celine meet again in Before Sunset. While le husband’s reason is the book store is where Hemingway published his first book.

The book store is very small. There was a short queue in front of its door because the number people inside is being limited. We didn’t line up. Next to the book store, it has the cafe. We planned to sit and enjoy some coffee, but it was full.

So, we walked nearby and decided to enjoy the almost evening in one of the bridge with Notre Dame view, watching street musician, sitting on the bench,eating chocolate, and enjoying the sunny autumn breeze. 

Doing merely those simple things, in a place I have been longing for long time, made my heart so full.

18.00 : stopped by at Mason George Larnicol Macarons.

On the way home, we stopped by to buy our first macarons in Paris. We once wanted to buy Ladurée in Versailles. But, it was too expensive and we couldn’t buy it for one or two pieces. We had to buy a pack of eight for 16 euros. Olala, c’etait trop chér pour nous. Two euros for a small macaron, I’d rather go for two pieces of small croissants.

When we passed George Larnicol, it was quite full and the writing on the glass wal said we could buy one or two and it costed only 0,7 euro per piece. Ouiiii, trés bon!! I ended up buying eight and paid 5,6 euros for them. One third from Ladurèe’s. The best part was, they were all good. All flavors were really good. Coffee, chocolate, lemon, and strawberry. 

The baby was sleeping when we bought it, then woke up found her parents were munching something and left her behind. We planned to divide the macarons four for each of us. In fact, I ate two, while le husband and the daughter ate three.

Day 5

Morning trip

08.30 : Heading to Pére Lachaise Cemetry then proceed to Bastille.

Here is where some famous ones like Chopin, Jim Morisson were buried. It is a very large area of cemetry. The ambience was far from creepy and somehow, peaceful. The sound of bird chirping, the sunny autumn breeze were perfect. We took turn to go to certain tomb we would like to visit since the road was not suitable for stroller. The baby was sleeping. I paid my respect to Chopin while le husband paid to both Chopin and Jim Morisson.

Done with the deads, we had a very looonggggg walk to Bastille. It was Sunday, the bus was quite rare. So, le husband suggested that we better took a walk instead of waiting for the bus. What he didn’t tell me it would be a very long and far. I had my face changed from smiley to wrinkled and grumpy. I love walking in Paris. It has no sweat, make us warm, and enjoying the scenery by our own pace. No rush.

BUT, not that far. More, le husband just wanted to see a market. A Sunday market. While I was so impatient to go to… Champ Éllysées.

We didn’t stay for long in Bastille. Bought a croissant and macarons there and the baby rode on a carousel which a failed one. She cried hard once it was running. Surprised because she was there alone, without me or her dad. 

11.30 : Heading to Champ Éllysées

It was one of the rare chance if metro riding. It took no line changing from Bastille to Champ Éllysées and quite a lot stops. So, it was worth the hassle climbing up and down the stairs carrying a stroller and a baby.

We arrived at the world most famous shopping avenue and got into a Disney Store to meet my sister’s request. Champ Éllyesées is such an eye candy. Famous brands are on the left and right side. The scent is surely different. But, guess it wasn’t my happy place. Too crowd and stuffy. 

We had a lunch at Brioche Dorée after couldn’t stand the queue at McDonald. Honestly, I wasn’t good to have my precious euros spent on McD. Glad we found Brioche Dorée and very very satisfied with everything that we eat. Tuna sandwich,  Pizza Poulet Curry, a croissant, and hot chocolate. 

We walked along Champ Éllysées until we saw the grandeuse Arc de Triomph, another Paris iconic monument. It was a clear blue sky when we took some pictures of it while waiting for the bus to back home.

That day also daylight saving time happened. The hour becomes an hour late as the result of season transition from autumn to winter. It changes the prayer time too. We rushed to go home thinking zuhur time was almost up. It turned out my watch still showed the old one.

Afternoon Trip

16.15 : Monoprix second visit and shoes searching.

We spent the afternoon trip by walking along Boulevard Saint Germain looking for shoes, for me and some affordable things for the family. We stopped by at Monoprix to buy some food. Entered few shoes store but ended up with nothing. I always buy when it only suits me in everything. Other than that, I skip it.

Day 6

Morning trip

08.30 : Grande Mosquée de Paris and Jardin des Plantes

The mosque is one of our must visit.     It is located in a quiet neighbourhood in 6th arrondisement. When we visited there, we were the only visitor. We did two rakaat prayer there.

Done with the mosque, Jardin des Plantes is only in another turn. I really envy these Parisiens for having lots of beautiful Jardin around their city. Jardin des Plantes, though is not as beautiful as Luxembourg and Tuileries, still, enjoyable.  A group of oldies was doing a light exercise there. We strolled around slowly and stopped by the bench, sipping our hot chocolate.

10.00 :  Heading to Rue de Commerce

We decided to visit Rue de Commerce in an instant, knowing the nearest metro stasion is the line that took us directly to Rue de Commerce. Such a good coincidence.

Rue de Commerce is located in 15th arrondissement where many small shops are available, which these were more suitable for us than Champ Éllysées. We strolled from one corner to the other, entered almost every shoes stores in the right and left side. Finally, le husband went home with a pair of black suede ankle boots and I brought a man’s leather sling bag for my father with a very decent price with such good quality. My shoes were still not available there.

Afternoon Trip

We didn’t go to any particular places this afternoon. We decided to sit and relax enjoying a crepe in one of an outdoor cafe nearby. Living as Parisiens felt so good.

Day 7

Morning Trip

08.30 : Heading to Galeries Lafayette and Opera

We previously wanted to see Montparnasse Tower. But, after some discussions, we decided to visit Galeries Lafayette and Opera. Galeries Lafayette is a large Department Store located in 9 arrondissement. It wasn’t opened when we arrive there and it was quite unbelievable that people were queuing in EACH of its entrance waiting for the door to be opened. Most of them were Chinese mainland tourists. It was so packed.

I decided to cross the street and looked for the shoes in a less crowded store. Then, after days of searching, it was over. I found mine on the strees across Galeries Lafayette. Done with my shoes, we still went inside the department store to look what it is like.

The famous expensive brands were all there. Another queue happened in the famous Louis Vitton store. It was enjoyable sight seeing, watching people patiently lined up just to buy things with the famous brand. No, it’s not cynical at all. For me, it was something pleasant to see since I guess I would never do such thing even if I had the ability to buy it one day. But then, who knows?;)

We decided to have lunch at the restaurant next to our apartment for our last lunch in Paris. This restaurant was almost always full whenever we passed by. We had a very delicious Chicken Basque with a very big portion there.

Afternoon trip

I had a solo walk for the afternoon trip to the souvenirs shops near Notre Dame while the baby and le husband were spending time in the park nearby. I followed them to the park when I was done. 

Walking alone on the last evening in this beautiful city felt quite sentimental. It had been a very great pleasure to be there. Staying in one of the most lively yet less touristy boulevard, in a nice small apartment that we loved so much, were beyond what we expected to have. 

When others say Parisiens are not friendly, we had been met with those friendly ones. Wherever we went, whatever we asked, we had met the nice ones. Really.

I wonder if my mum could see how happy I had been for those past 7 days from up there. My heart felt like bursting out of happiness.

Those twenty something years of waiting to set my foot in this city was truly paid off beyond my best expectation.

After all, dreams are meant to be executed. The feeling of having all three big dreams executed very well is incredible.

I think I can live and survive any hardships in the future by remembering these great journeys for the rest of my life.

Master degree abroad 2012 : checked.

Hajj 2012 : checked.

Paris 2016 : checked.

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“And  when you have a dream, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it. It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting”.

Paulo Coelheo, The Alchemist.

Thank you for your great conspirations, Universe.

Posted in Places, Review, Travel

Turkish Airlines with A Toddler

Posted on by arlanadya

The first intention is about writing a (good) review. However, since the service was not satisfying enough, so it will be just another story. More or less, it could be a review as well.

This trip was a bulk of reading one. The top three were about Visa, Air BnB, and … flying with a toddler. It scared me a lot whenever I thought about this bunny would spent eleven hours straight plus another four hours one being trapped up in the sky, without a proper bed.

We have never been anywhere outside Jakarta for a long period before. Being in a car for hours, I didn’t have any experiences with that. So, this trip was just like one big jump to the ocean without any proper training. So, all I could do was learnt the theories as much as I could.

Departure Flights

It was … disaster. A crazy like hell one. Ah, no, they were disasters. Both Jakarta-Istanbul Istanbul-Paris were pretty nightmare. Judging from the transit, it’s easy to guess which airline I flew with.

On the first flight, there were several babies on board. It was quite soothing. It took of on-time and for the first few minutes, it was okay. We got the bulk head seats, with configuration of 2-4-2. We got the two on the left. We had booked a bassinet, just in case, although the baby had exceeded the maximum height. We didn’t use it at all.

The baby was really restless although she was still sleeping. She cried with her eyes closed, then stopped, slept quietly, and then, it repeated again. We had been taking turn to soothe her. I breastfed her until I felt so exhausted.

While in the other hand, another problem of mine whenever flying, my skin around the mouth was irritated. It was so painful. I kept asking for water continously.

We tried any possible ways to soothe her, even by letting her slept on the plane floor since at home she always do that before we moved her to the bed. But, almost none worked. When she finally really woke up, it was quite better. At least, we could distract her to any other entertainments.

We watched some in-flight entertainments, not for long, we read books, magazines, singing, and of course, lots of breastfeeding session. At times, she was whining again and again. As far as I remembered, she didn’t sleep again until we arrived at Istanbul.

We were so relieved when the plane finally landed. We only had two hours before our connecting flight to Paris. It turned out two hours wasn’t that long. We went to the food court first. Burger King and orange juice were chosen to charge the body. We were heading to the gate right after that. When it was time to fly, I prayed so much it would end sooner.

It turned out that my pray wasn’t hard enough. The second flight was even a bigger torture for three of us. We flew with smaller plane which had 3-3 seat configurations, we didn’t get the front row ones, but the second, almost no space to move easily. Meal time was even more disastrous since we had to open the table with such small space while having a baby on our lap.

Above those all, the baby kept being so cranky and cried outloud. Worse, no other baby was on the plane. Another worse thing, we were stuck inside the plane before take off for almost more than an hour. I really wanted to cry so much and cursed this damn big bird for trapping us inside that long.

In my calculation, it would be only three hours flight since the schedule of arriving in Paris at 9.30. I really forgot about time differences between Istanbul and Paris where Paris was two hours behind Istanbul. So, it was actually five hours flight. Trust me, another two hours could have felt like the longest time of your life.

We were provided by two jars of baby food this time. The fruity one was safely landed in the baby’s tummy happily. We almost hadn’t had any sleep for another five hours. Just another shift taking turn to soothe and play with the baby. She wasn’t continously being cranky, there were sone intervals. Whenever the cry was on, those passenger eyes were fixed upon us and made us suffering more.

I couldn’t describe how grateful I was when we finally landed at Charles de Gaulle. Went through immigration and baggage pick up smoothly and safely, then finally sat in the comfortable taxi seat.

Watching the autumn scenery for the first time along the taxi riding, made me almost forget what I had just been going through for hours. We really survived first two long haul flights (disasters) and it was such achievements to be proud of.

Return Flights

Right after we settled in our apartment, we cleaned ourselves, took a bath, prayed, then did our first strolled around the neighbourhood. We did some groceries for tomorrow breakfast and bought the t-tickets for bus and metro. When we went around, I almost totally forgot and forgave everything that happened in those two flights. Things I saw by my own eyes might deserve such pain beforehand.

Fot the return flights, we chose evening flight from Paris which departed at 18.35 and it turned out a bit delayed. We learned better than the departure. We reduced our cabin carry, put the stroller to baggage, we brought spare food, chocolate, and snacks. Food was one of my baby’s soother. Food that she could eat by herself. Unlike the departure flight, I left rice behind. I brought indian curry chicken sandwich, cheese stick, small portion of rice, grapes which the baby loved a lot, almond chocolate, and cheese sticks.

When we took off, the baby was already quite sleepy. Thankfully, this time the plane was a big one with 3-3-3 seats configurations and it was quite empty. So the man next to us moved to the back where he enjoyed all three seats for himself.

When meal was distributed, the baby joined us. I didn’t know what happened, not for long after meal, she slept restlessly again and this time she felt somehow itchy because she kept rubbing her body. Some red spots were there and finally I agreed to let the husband gave the allergic medecine.

It wasa very right decision. Thanks to that, we all three had a quite good rest and sleep for some times. Until we arrived at Istanbul, the baby was still sleeping. We waited at one of the empty boarding room, where few people also had some rest. We put the baby on the chair where she could sleep as comfortable as we could afford. Until we took off again for Istanbul Jakarta flight, she was still asleep.

Didn’t really remember when she woke up. Since she had quite enough sleep, she woke up with a good mood. She ate the baby food, watched Secret Life of Pets almost a whole of it, playing here and there, snacking several times, and babling slash singing sometimes. We also changed her diaper.

The eleven hours return flight was much more bearable than the departure. The only dissapointing thing was about the interval of the meal. We were given a meal right after take off, then hot drink of ur own choices, and almond nut plus mineral water for snack. Then, it was actually sleeping time.

The sleeping time felt quite long for me and really made me hungry. When others starting to wake up, they looked quite anxious too and seemed looking if the food cart would come in short time. Le husband even proposed that we just bought it if they still didn’t give us any.

When we finally asked the FA, he said it will be given one and half an hour later. It was almost landing time and we had been starving for almost seven to eight hours. Sigh.

The baby also showed sign of hunger several times. But she still played happily. When finally the food came, they said it was breakfast and the main course was just scrambled egg. Second big sigh.

We safely arrived at Jakarta as scheduled happily, yet so tiredly.
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If I compared my readings than the actual practice, toys didn’t really give much help but just a mess for me. Video songs and games were quite helpful. But, food was the most helpful ones. The baby enjoyed food a lot, so whether during the stay in Paris and during the flight, food really calmed her.

Survived those four departure and return flights were really something for me. While we’re still dealing with the jetlag until today, I have been thinking when I will be ready again to have another experience flying with a bigger baby.

Of course not within the short time. Let’s work hard once more until the next adventure.

Ah, flying with the one that we chose was not really recommended for long haul flights. Average food, average services, not much baby friendly. Teddy bear was given once and that was it. The FAs were not that charming too. In-flight entertainment was also not extraordinary.

Before I bought the tickets, I did make comparisons to other similar airlines. But yeah, money talked. To the closest price compared to this, the difference was about more than four millions, too much to be ignored for me. We could use those four millions for something else.

So, if the budget didn’t really strict, go with Emirates or Qatar. People said Etihad is quite good too.

But, whatever I had experienced, it was the one who brought me to my dream place in the end. Couldn’t be more grateful than that.

Thank you for having and sending me, guys. Improve your service better in the future!

Posted in Places, Travel

Paris Trip Facts

Posted on by arlanadya

Writing this from home and couldn’t be happier after surviving two long haul flights and two medium ones with a toddler. 

While the mood is still here, would like to write some facts about Paris that I experienced. When we talk about facts, it can’t be helped to talk about it by numbers. So, enjoy calculating a bit.

1. The taxi fare from and to Charles de Gaulle airport is fixed.

I love this one about Paris. No worries of fare watching during your trip with a taxi to and from the airport. When you stay in the right bank, it is 50 euro, while left bank 55 euro. You can give one or two euros for tips.

Expensive? For those who travel by group, it’s surely cheap.

When you go by bus and carrying large luggages, it’s around 11 or 17 euro per person. Then, from the bus stop in city centre, you either have to take a metro or bus, or taxi to reach your hotel or apartment. 

When you choose a RER train, it costs very cheap, around 2 euro, but have yourself covered in sweat because you need to go underground by stairs.

Metro and bus have the same fare, it is 1,90 euro while taxi fare starts from 2,60 euro. Don’t forget about dragging your luggages here and there, climbing up and down the stairs. It’s another intangible cost.

2. Buying t-tickets for your transport saves a lot than having a pass. Paris Pass is quite pricey and overpriced, for me. Glad we didn’t buy it and bought t-tickets instead.

We bought two bundles of two t-tickets at first (each bundle has 10 t-tickets). It can be used for metro and bus for the trip around Paris (1-20 arrondossement). Bus ticket can be bought inside the bus with different fare. With t-ticket you pay  1,90 while direct purchase is 2,00 euro.

For seven days going around Paris, we spent buying 4 bundles of t-tickets. One bundle costs 14,10. So, total of four is (only) 56, 40 euro (two adults).

Compared if you buy Paris Visite Pass : for five days pass, covering zone 1-5, it costs 63,50 per adults.

So, don’t bother buying it. Use the money for enjoying any other things about Paris. Like buying the nice macarons, croissants,  or a pair of french made shoes.

3. Big croissants cost around 1,2-1,7 euro while the small ones cost around 0,50- 0,60 euro. I’d rather go to the big one.

4. Paris two last numbers of zip code show the arrondissement. 75001 means it is in the 1st, 75017 means it is the 17th arrondissement.

5.  Seen lots of electric car while they were being charged and hadn’t seen any singles gas station during the stay. Don’t know why.

Charging the car, like a phone.
​

6. You will always being greeted and better to say ‘Bonjour’ almost everywhere. Bus, store, cafe, office, attraction places, just everywhere. While saying ‘ Au Revoir’ is only when you have the chance while parting.

7. Everyone has their own way to enjoy the trip. Since we enjoy food a lot, most of our euros go to good food. In fact, after calculating the expenses, 65 percent of them go to restaurants and… Monoprix. Champ Éllysées and Galeries Lafayette didn’t tempted us. Monoprix food section did a lot.

8. I don’t know about others’ experiences, but I really have a very good experience with Parisiens. The officers, the taxi and bus drivers, the people. Wearing hijab is totally indifferent. They answer your questions nicely, serve you well at the stores, cafes, and restaurants, helping me to hold the doors, and all those kind little gestures I really love.

Maybe, just maybe, it was because I traveled with a cute little toddler who had been attracting others to play. Or another maybe, was because I spoke the language. Or, if I can just suggest another possibility, it was simply an answer to my pray. 

I always pray one thing whenever I am facing new things, new places, or new people : for me to meet the kind ones. Those who won’t do any harms to me (and my companion). 

When I went for postgrad, I asked to be given a good roommate. I had two, and their kindness were really beyond my expectation. During hajj, I asked to be given the good ones who shared the room with me and my mom. I was given a pair of mother and daughter like me and my mom who were very considerate and kind. Then, Paris… was even more surprising. We’re saved from any pickpockets, scammer, even met too many kind people during the trip.

Well, that is all just my guess about this fact. But, meeting those kind parisiens meant a lot for me.

Still try to remember more, but up to now, that is all.
Bissoux!