Being An Adult

… is hard.

That’s a bare minimum to be a functional one.

To be a well-rounded one in every aspect, then it will be many times harder and I realize only few could achieve this.

I am not talking about any achievements, titles, or anything that could label for someone as a successful adult.

I am talking about the hardship of living day to day to life, doing multiple roles as an adult.

It’s not about what you do for a living. You can be anything and it will be as well hard for everyone. Just different theme of hard.

I think it really takes a huge amount of emotional intelligence to be an adult.

Without that, it’s hard to survive life that is about :

Moving from one problem to another.

Dealing with one plot twist to the next one.

Facing series of unexpected challenges yet still have to be firm and act like show must go on.

No matter who you are, what you do, the emotional skills set needed to be an adult is pretty much the same.

Discipline. Endurance. Persistence . Perseverance. Tranquility. Creativity. Commitment . Last but not least, for me personally, spirituality.

It’s really a huge privilege if one grows up with those skills trained by the parents or the carers or the situation. It must not be easy, but, it’s much easier to learn all of those if one is young.

A successful adult can’t be determined by good scores on the report card, kind of trophies on the shelf, or lists of competitions or achievements on the paper. 

A ‘successful’ kid doesn’t equal to a successful adult.

Based on real life observations and situations, the price of having a successful kid is too expensive if the trade is having an adult who fails to thrive.

I agree with someone I read on the internet that said the goal of your parenting should be based on what kind of person you want your children to be when they’re 40.

The goal of parenting is not about having a successful 4, 10, 15,18, or even 25 years old human. But more of what kind of adult they will be at their 40. What characters stay with them in their 40.

Such a long way to go, isn’t it?

This is a writing done when I have been dealing with highly emotional situations for the last few months. Dealing with a huge project that gives me daily stress regarding to other people’s work, a big moving, yet other things in daily life won’t give you a break such as what should be served on the table for each meal, a big pile of laundry needs to be folded, the trash needs to be collected or sorted, the sink needs to be fixed, the sheet needs to be changed, and many other chores you can’t avoid or outsource. Worse, when you’re having fever while dealing with all of those.

I was whining out loud that day, although there was a voice inside my head who asked me “what do you know about hard compared to those people in Palestine?”.

It’s easy to neglect everything and just ignore them. But, until when?

Maybe, being an (successful) adult means fully understand there’s no shortcut, if you want to do and have things the right way.

Choose your hard is the only way to go in adult life and every choice comes with consequences.

You have to fight yourself for the countless time, to keep afloat, to stay safe and sane, amidst the pain, chaos, and confusion.

One can call life as an adult is better, more beautiful, more exciting. It could be true for some, but not really for others, especially if they’re not equipped with those emotional skills above. One could easily broken and turn into crumbs.

Money makes it (slightly) easier, only if you’re equipped with adequate EQ. Being an adult with money without emotional maturity, it’s a disaster. It could be worse than not having money at all.

Being married also could make adult life (again, slightly) easier, only if you’re with the right partner. Married to the wrong one, it would be another disaster. But then, finding the right one is not easy either.

So, guess the conclusion is clear.

Whether you have those mentioned above or not, one thing is certain for everyone, being an adult is hard.

Period.