This grade 5 has been a year with the most heart thumping journey in primary school. All the new experiences of being a parent really shake many things inside. It makes me question myself more and practices that I have been doing in raising my daughter.
I wrote a post with a long caption two years ago while we were traveling to Munich and with a view of Munich Central Station. It’s about being an adult. I remembered writing a similar tone post six years ago, while the baby was still a toddler.
What I also learned in this journey, knowing what to do doesn’t mean you know how to do it. It takes so much energy and effort to apply what you know in real life. To turn theory into practice in many things in life, the more it is aligned with your identity and belief, the easier it becomes.
Prof Qurais Shihab once said, “it’s easy to change your opinion, but it’s never easy to change you belief”. With knowledge you can change your opinion, but to change your iman? Good luck for that.
I read bulk of parenting books, journals, anything. I might have consumed more than average parents in this country, even before the child was here. Does it make me a better parent?
Clearly not.
More knowledgable maybe yes.
Better one? I even feel cringe for saying that.
What I realized I might need enough knowledge but I need strong and bold iman to go to the right direction.
Knowing the journey towards teenager years won’t get easier, I really need to prepare myself better. My current tagline becomes : intense belajar, endless istighfar, dan semoga selalu sabar di jalan yang benar. May Allah make it easier.
Here’s what I wrote two years ago :
Being an adult is hard.
That’s a bare minimum to be a functional one.
To be a well-rounded one in every aspect, then it will be many times harder and I realize only few could achieve this.
I am not talking about any achievements, titles, or anything that could label for someone as a successful adult.
I am talking about the hardship of living day to day to life, doing multiple roles as an adult.
It’s not about what you do for a living. You can be anything and it will be as well hard for everyone. Just different theme of hard.
It really takes a huge amount of emotional intelligence to be an adult.
Without that, it’s hard to survive life that is about :
Moving from one problem to another.
Dealing with one plot twist to the next one.
Facing series of unexpected challenges yet still have to be firm and act like show must go on.
No matter who you are, what you do, the emotional skills set needed to be an adult is pretty much the same.
Discipline. Endurance. Persistence . Perseverance. Tranquility. Creativity. Commitment . Last but not least, for me personally, spirituality.
A successful adult can’t be determined by good scores on the report card, kind of trophies on the shelf, or lists of competitions or achievements on the paper.
A ‘successful’ kid doesn’t equal to a successful adult.
Based on real life observations and situations, the price of having a successful kid is too expensive if the trade is having an adult who fails to thrive.
Maybe, being an (successful) adult means fully understand there’s no shortcut, if you want to do and have things the right way.
Choose your hard is the only way to go in adult life and every choice comes with consequences.
You have to fight yourself for the countless time, to keep afloat, to stay safe and sane, amidst the pain, chaos, and confusion.
This view in Munich Central Station after office hours shows that no matter where you are, the conclusion is pretty much the same :
Being an adult is hard.
So, there’s no way we don’t give proper training when we raise one.
Especially when you’re coming from some countries who don’t give you any privileges to make adult life slightly easier.
A Penny for My Pensieve 