To experience Hajj for the second time, different season of life, different level of knowledge and maturity, I found life paradoxes in it.
Me that went Hajj iin 2012 was a different person that one that went in 2026, after went through many kind of life seasons and lessons. Yet, at the same time, one who realized her dream for Hajj in 2012 is exactly the same person who did it in 2026.
The second paradox : life is indeed too short until 14 years of interval felt like yesterday. On the other hand, it is long enough for us not to ask and try our best to experience the greatest journey of lifetime, at least once.
Allah is always precise in designing anything, including our life. The more I experience life, the more I understand we are given only options, but not the decisions. It explained well in Quantum Physics book I read recently. We think we have control because we have options, but in reality, there’s no slightest control that we have in life. Any options we take, Allah is always at the end of the line.
There’s seven years cycle of life theory that we human will go through different life phases every 7 years span. I went hajj in 2012 at the end of the fourth phase of seven years at 27 (before entering 28-35), then 14 yeas later, in 2026, the end of sixth phase (before 42-49 insya Allah) at 41.
Being invited twice, maybe Allah wants to remind me once again who is in control. To remind me who has been dealing with so much worry about many uncertainties of upcoming life seasons. It is as if Allah said : “I am the only hope and rope you have. Trust Me”.
Hajj after fourteen years difference, with completely different experiences, is a very mind-blowing way to show me that Allah will give you everything that you miss, He will replace everything that you lose, and He will grant not only the second chance, but also another one after that, and another one, and another one, as long as you keep finding your way back to Him.
Hajj is the ultimate way to teach us the what, the where, and the how to find our way back home, now and later.
———————
You can go anywhere in this world with your family, your parents, your kids, your friends, or whoever you want.
But Hajj, although it’s not about right or wrong, but it’s really best done with your spouse and no one else.
I am grateful that we don’t include the little girl like the initial plan. It’s not a family trip like ones we regularly do.
In our travel, almost everyone go with their spouse. Only one or two who travel either with adult son and one travel alone. It really set the right tone and ambiences along the journey. Interaction mostly and strictly only between mahram.
Hajj is long trip with certain level of intensity. Other than the options we don’t have in Mina, after a long day, going home to the room with strangers inside might be not the best idea. Or is it just me?
In this trip, I saw every woman’s best buddy is their own spouse. Six am in the morning in Mina, woman section door were often knocked and some bapak2 were on the door delivering breakfast for their wife. I called it Bapak2 HNWI sayang istri. It’s good that my spouse spent some intensive camp with them.
During Jamarat walk, everyone stand and walk with their own spouse.
This journey makes me realize the truth of a hadith that said woman can’t travel far away more than three days without mahram.
I am beyond grateful Allah fulfilled my mother’s last words in front of the Kabah fourteen years ago and granted me a chance to walk every step of this journey with my roommate. Maybe it’s quite hard to believe, but this Hajj is the very first time we’re going together alone after 14 years of marriage. Alhamdulillah for such a blessing.
It’s true that when you marry someone, you don’t just choose a husband/wife. You choose your travel and discussion partner, your financial advisor, your life coach, your business manager, your Hajj bodyguard, and endless roles that a spouse can be.
You can’t escape one’s true character during safar. Especially a kind of safar as intense, hard, long, and emotional one like Hajj.
I hope all girls and women in my families and best friends will be granted the same chance too, going Hajj with the right spouse someday. Amiin.
A Penny for My Pensieve 