Up until yesterday, the chores that L has been doing only covered around her own things. Wash her own dishes, wash, hang, and fold her own laundry, make her bed, and tidy up her room. It’s been a while since I am thinking to upgrade her chore to involve things she does for others too.
After watching the morning flow for months, I found something that is pretty doable for her. Delegating a little of my morning task would be a good idea. It could start at the weekend only where she has more free time in the morning.
Fruit bowl is our compulsory breakfast. One third of my weekly groceries budget spent on fruits. Every morning, I make three fruit bowls for each one of us. It contains at the maximum four kind of fruits, at the beginning of the week, and two kinds at the end of the week.
So, I told her this Monday that starting this weekend, on Saturday and Sunday, she would be the one who took care of morning fruit bowls. On Friday, I asked her to write down the plan, what fruits she would put for that two days based what we had on the fridge.
Have a colorful weekend!
The nicest thing of teaching new things to the children at her age is, they’re so eager about that. There’s no slightest rejection tone from her mouth, only excitement.
Although in practice it wasn’t as easy as it looked, but still, new experience was always exciting. She did the first days of the new job quite well.
We could consider a household like an entreprise and houseworks/chores as projects. I could consider myself as a mommy manager who is in-charge of many projects and doing the four functions of management (POAC) daily.
Now, for one little project on the weekend, I have the first three functions (planning, organizing, and acting) done by my subordinate and only in charge for the controlling part.
Thus, I don’t listen to those who said ‘what’s the degree for if you ‘just’ stay at home?’
All the learnings I had done in both of my bachelor and master degrees are aplicable in almost all situations in the daily life and I use, appy, and pass it to the one who needs it the most, very well.
Salah satu berkah dari pandemi yang dirasakan adalah bagaimana itu membawa perubahan besar sekali dalam hal pendidikan. Terutama yang terjadi di rumah. Pandemi ini membuka mata bahwa banyak hal tentang pendidikan ini yang sebenarnya ada di tangan kita sendiri dan bukan di tangan guru dan kurikulum sekolah.
Pandemi ini buka banyak kesempatan untuk belajar tanpa batas, baik waktu dan tempat, dengan orang-orang dari berbagai jenis di seluruh dunia dan ini menyenangkan sekali.
Saat ini komposisi pendidikan yang dijalani L adalah 75% kurikulum pribadi dan 25% dari sekolah. Saat ini, sekolahnya lebih mirip dianggap kaya ekskul dibanding yang utama. Apa yang didapat dari sekolahnya saat ini lebih untuk mengatasi apa yang dia ngga bisa dapat dari rumah seperti sosialisasi dengan teman seumurnya, sedangkan di rumah fokus ke hal-hal untuk mengeluarkan kelebihan, mengajarkan hal yang lebih penting seperti cara berpikir dan membangun kebiasaan-kebiasaan baik.
Salah satu fokus yang orangtua sering lupa adalah kita bukan hanya membesarkan anak tetapi juga mempersiapkan mereka buat jadi orang dewasa. Oleh karena itu, selain belajar, L juga punya tugas lain di rumah yang berhubungan dengan pekerjaan rumah tangga seperti cuci piring, mengoperasikan mesin cuci, menjemur dan melipat bajunya sendiri, merapikan tempat tidur sendiri, dan akan terus ditambah seiring waktu.
Dari awal, seperti yang pernah saya tulis di post sebelumnya, saya punya tiga tujuan besar yang saya ingin ada di anak saya :
– self discipline (ngga nemu kata di bahasa Indonesia yang pas untuk ini) untuk dirinya sendiri.
– empati untuk berhadapan dengan orang lain.
– literasi untuk memahami banyak hal di hidup ini.
Tiga hal itu menjadi dasar untuk menjalani kegiatan sehari-hari seperti pernah ditulis di salah satu post ini.
Untuk kali ini, saya mau review tentang tiga aplikasi utama yang sudah kami pakai selama kurang lebih 1,5 tahun ini.
1. Numbots
Ini adalah aplikasi untuk matematika khusus buat penambahan dan pengurangan. Terdiri dari beberapa level dari yang paling mudah sampai yang sulit.
Salah satu point penting dari aplikasi ini adalah repetisi. Satu topik yang sama bisa dibuat di beberapa level dengan cara yang berbeda. Buat kami ini menarik karena repetisi adalah kunci untuk membuat suatu hal menjadi permanen di dalam otak. Dalam hal apapun, termasuk belajar matematika.
Fokus kami bukan tentang seberapa banyak level bisa dihabiskan atau seberapa banyak koin yang bisa dikumpulkan, tapi seberapa konsisten game ini dimainkan dalam jangka waktu yang lama.
Selama kurang lebih 1,5 taun terakhir, dia sudah menyelesaikan 12 dari 18 tahap Numbots yang tersedia. Untuk menyelesaikan satu tahap, dia harus melewati 80-90 level kecil untuk setiap tahap.
Badge terakhir : 365 hari berturut-turut
Awalnya, aplikasi ini diberikan gratis dari sekolahnya di London ketika awal pandemi. Setelah setahun lebih konsisten menggunakan ini sampai kami kembali ke Jakarta, karena khawatir history dia hilang karena sudah bukan murid sekolah tersebut, kami memutuskan untuk pindah ke akun keluarga dengan biaya pribadi.
Buat kami pribadi, harga yang dibayar bukan hanya yang tertera di atas. Untuk harga tersebut, kami terbebas dari sakit kepala mengajarkan matematika dengan cara yang tidak menyenangkan, membuat anak belajar matematika setiap hari tanpa drama.
Dan ini bisa untuk beberapa anak sekaligus. Jadi buat yang punya anak usia berdekatan, makin oke lagi valuenya. Juga bisa dibagi dengan sepupu yang seumur.
(Enak bukan, ibu-ibu?)
2. Time Table Rockstar
Nah, ini adalah kakaknya Numbots. Numbots dan TTRS ini games dari developer yang sama dengan fokus yang berbeda. Kalo Numbots fokus di penambahan dan pengurangan, TTRS fokus di perkalian dan pembagian.
Seperti Numbots, TTRS juga terdiri dari berbagai level di setiap tahap. Kalo di Numbots untuk maju ke level berikutnya perlu menjawab dengan hasil minimal 2 bintang (yang ditentukan oleh kecepatan menjawab), kalo TTRS, ditentukan oleh soal yang bisa dijawab dengan benar dalam waktu 1 menit. Dibutuhkan minimal 20 jawaban benar untuk lanjut ke level berikutnya. Kalo ngga sampe 20 jawaban benar, harus ulang lagi.
Kalo bisa jawab 20, tulisannya continue. Kurang dari 20, play again.
Sekali lagi, kuncinya di game ini adalah repetisi. Jadi beda level bisa tentang soal yang sama dan berulang, dengan metode yang beda.
Fokus di TTRS ini adalah perkalian 1-12.
Biaya per tahun
Untuk saat ini, kami lebih pilih fokus dengan dua aplikasi ini untuk training matematikanya dibanding membayar ke lembaga les tertentu.
3. Epic!
Selain Numbots, ini adalah legacy lain dari sekolahnya di London. Kalo Numbots untuk matematika, ini adalah untuk membaca. Fokus pendidikan usia dini di sana cuma tiga : math, reading, writing. Jadi semua sumber daya untuk tiga hal tersebut berlimpah. Ngga ada PR lain selain membaca, setiap hari.
Ini juga hal yang mau kami tetap jalankan setelah pulang ke Jakarta.
Epic! ini seperti Nettlix untuk buku. Tersedia beribu buku dari semua topik dan untuk berbagai level pembaca. Buat yang belum lancar buku ada fitur read-to-me. Buku-bukunya juga menarik dan selalu diupdate. Ada Epic! Original series, kaya Netflix banget kan?
Statistik setelah 1,5 tahunBisa liat reading history
Buat kami, Epic! ini value for moneynya tinggi sekali. Kebiasaan bacanya dapet, kaya kamus kecil dengan penjelasan komprehensif untuk berbagai topik dan pertanyaan, ngga perlu space buat menyimpan bukunya terutama buat yang tinggal di ruang kecil dan masih pindah-pindah seperti kami. Harga yang dibayar buat semua keuntungan di atas Rp 140.000/BULAN.
Jadi, bukan per tahun ya buat Epic! ini.
Selain tiga aplikasi ini, kami juga sangat bergantung pada banyak aplikasi menarik buat pelajaran musiknya. Beberapa aplikasi musik yang rutin dipakai : Pitch Ear dan Piano trainer.
Salah satu privilege besar yang L punya itu adalah punya dua orang tua yang sama passionatenya di banyak hal untuk pendidikannya. Semua aplikasi baik buat belajar ataupun game, itu hasil kurasi ayahnya yang bukan sekedar asal unduh, tapi diliat dan dicoba satu persatu, kadang ditonton dulu tutorial dan reviewnya.
Semoga review ini bisa membantu dan makin banyak orang yang pakai tiga apps berguna ini!
Done with telling her happy experience at school yesterday , out of the blue, after some period of silence, something came from her mouth,
“When I am older, I’ll have a husband”.
(Stay calm)
“What do you mean?”
“I’ll get married and have a husband”.
(What’s with this sudden idea?)
“Wait until I park the car and we talk about this”.
Glad when this happened it was already near home. It was such a distraction during driving. Off-record convo kept going until we arrived at the parking lot.
Asked the main idea again once the engine was off.
Even asked her once again to get to know what’s her main idea to blurt out such thing suddenly.
A serious talk in a car park
Did I say “gentar” is the word to describe the end of the first 7 years?
This kind is one of the reasons why.
To fully accept and realize that she is no longer a little baby.
To answer many questions without preparations.
To deal with many hard conversations to come.
I don’t know whether it’s the right thing to do or not, as someone who is being next to her most of the time, I almost always take her questions seriously.
So, instead of telling her that this is not something to talk about on her age, I am more eager to know what’s on her mind and how much she could elaborate, in spite of her limitations in language and understanding.
More than worry, I was actually quite happy having this convo because this means she could talk freely about everything on her mind with me. Something that we definitely need in future years to come.
Also a reminder to not underestimate my child for something that she is capable of thinking and doing despite her age and conditions.
Like being capable of describing the qualities she wants for her future partner to the flowers she would like to have for the wedding.
May Allah grant her good wish and grant me (and her dad) more patience and better guidance to walk this journey safely.
At first, the decision to send her to a non-religious school gave certain guilty feeling inside. It was among many (important) things that didn’t go according to initial plan.
But then, since when (big things in) life goes according to your plan?
Never mind. The more important thing is while the goal should be rigid, the strategy needs to be fluid.
The bright side of choosing non-religious school where religious study is not the main menu (and far from adequate), it opens many opportunities to explore other possibilities of good teachers.
Done with a Quran teacher, next searching that I have been doing for months is a (proper) Islamic teacher.
When gender is not a problem for the Quran teacher, as long as the person is qualified and speaks English well, which we go with a male teacher, for Islamic, I strictly want a female teacher.
Why female teacher? Because she will soon go to puberty, where many drastic changes would happen. A period of many turbulences which she needs someone to hold on to, to share things with other than her parents (since maybe the parents would be one that she would have conflict with), someone who understands what she has been going through, more importantly, someone with proper knowledge about the know-how according to our religion. For me, that’s one important thing that I surely couldn’t handle alone.
Been looking around, reading many profiles, did some trials and not working well, until I bumped into a good looking profile in one of the platforms on the internet.
Sent short paragraphs of introduction explained what I looked for, what kind of lesson I expect to have and the learning purpose. Explained thoroughly about her condition and my expectations.
A reply received in an instant. The conversation went well and the first meeting set up right away.
Alhamdulillah, the first lesson done as good as expected. On time, well-prepared, and I loved how the lesson delivered.
Hopefully, the relationship will be as good as the first lesson.
It takes a village to raise a child. Surround her with good and qualified teachers on the subject that we consider important and where the parents don’t have adequate knowledge about, is part of our efforts to provide proper village for her to grow.
(Switch to Bahasa mode)
Menuju periode 7 tahun kedua, hati makin berat dari sebelumnya. Kenapa? Karena sadar ilmu yang diperlukan buat menghadapi periode ini masih jauh dari cukup.
Menghadapi 7th pertama yang udah belajar teorinya jauh sebelum prakteknya aja masih banyak ‘miss’-nya. Apalagi ini, yang baru mulai ‘serius’ belajar beberapa tahun terakhir.
Di parenting Islam, 7th pertama anak adalah raja (master) yang bebas tanpa tugas, main tanpa batas, masuk ke 7th kedua anak adalah ‘slave’ (once elaborated here).
Waktu dimana sudah harus belajar disiplin, ilmu yang baik, punya kewajiban dan tanggung jawab, bahkan boleh dipukul jika umur 10 tahun tidak melaksanakan kewajibannya.
Usaha mencari guru ini yang terlihat buat ngajar anaknya, tapi tujuan utamanya adalah buat ngajarin orangtuanya. Menghadirkan guru buat anak lebih untuk supaya orangtuanya lebih punya ilmu yang benar buat menghadapi ‘battle’ yang akan lebih berat dari sebelumnya.
Seperti dokter yang harusnya lebih tau dari pasiennya, bos lebih jago dari bawahannya, masuk akal kalo tuan harus lebih pinter dari hamba sahayanya. Jadi, ngga ada cara selain belajar lebih keras dari sebelumnya. Anak-anak itu fast learner, yang lambat itu orangtuanya.
Hari-hari menuju akhir 7th pertama, hati lebih sering gentar dari sebelumnya.
It was during writing time with the little girl when suddenly such view appeared by the window. We stopped doing what we did and watched my second favorite nature view (after sunset) until they disappeared.
One said that rainbow comes to apologize for the angry skies. Thinking about that, it might be true. The sky had been so grumpy for hours that day. Then suddenly, these beauties appeared and made us smile.
This felt like a little present on this birthrday month. It’s been the period without daily sunrise nor sunset view for the past months, so having such view cured the longing a little bit.
As usual, never write on the exact date of the birthday. But, what is birthday without the sentimental thought that keeps pondering on your head?
The time of the year where I have always looked back, not one, but ten years behind. I often judge my life within the period of ten years, because less than that, the span would be too short to evaluate and allow some big changes happen in life.
I once read, which again, I forgot where or who (tried to google it with different kind keywords but found nothing), that 27 is the year when you make some important decisions of your life. It was kind of true for me.
(Wait, are you saying you are 27?!)
Bien sur que non, mes amies.
That 27 years old was the time when I started executing my 20’s big dreams. The first two were granted on that age. It was also the age when I took a leap of faith to make one of the most important decisions in one’s life. Marriage.
Life happened incredibly on 27. The ups and downs were beyond crazy. Gained two big dreams and another huge thing in life equaled to lost three VIPs in my life. All happened in that ONE YEAR.
That 27 was a huge milestone when I started viewing life from a totally different angle.
Took off from 27, life began its real courses.
I have been a wife, a primary caretaker and bread winner, a mother, a small bussiness owner, a teacher, a housewife, an avid lifelong learner. I had ticked my third big 20s dream beautifully, ended my 15 years of works on high notes, started different set of life abroad, a volunteer, and one of the highlights was, put a heavy reader name tag back on my chest after years of being in the slump.
For these 10 years, the heart had been through so much. From utmost betrayal to the worst broken heart. Standing up again and again after falling for so many times, refused to give up for something that I stubbornly believed. Slowly cured, forgave, and moved on from the (many) wounds in the past.
And, here I am, ten years from that 27.
I looked back to those ten years behind with heart full of immense gratitude for every experience and learning beyond my wildest imagination. I am overwhelmed with abundance of blessing that Allah bestowed upon and me and my family.
Still have many rooms for improvements, occupied by insecurities here and there, but overall, I am beyond grateful to be in a better place than ten years ago.
When I said above that I started seeing life in a totally different angle since 27, ten years later, I still stan with that angle, only with more clear view. It’s the same angle J.K. Rowling used to write her life time bestseller Harry Potter. She started with how it would end.
So, whenever many insecurities creeped in, I asked myself, if the time is up, who and what would be my biggest concerns?
The answers become the compass to arrange my priorities on daily basis.
That way, I hope to continue living this borrowed-life meaningfully and would return it with the least regrets. Amin.
No other hopes in positivity tone?
Sorry, I am a pessimist. I am scared, anxious, and too careful more than it is shown.
I prefer to keep my seatbelt fasten all through the journey.
So, whenever turbulence appears, at least, I would be on the least level of ready 🥂 .
It was almost 11 pm and the mind was still dealing with the some noise inside regarding the big match that meant a lot for this country.
Surely won’t discuss how the team beautifully fought and got the best result, but more of what happened during one of the matches.
It was almost 8 pm and we had done with the last prayer. Bedtime for the little girl.
We (mostly me) always accompany her for bed time stories everyday. But, that time, none of us, both her parents, wanted to move from our seat.
Her dad told her to sleep first by herself and after some good night kisses with him, she went to her room, without said much and looked at me at all.
I kept watching until few minutes later and then decided to leave my spot and went to her room.
She was lying around with eyes opened, looked so restless, and was busy wiping her eyes when she saw me coming.
I hugged her and asked if she was okay and answered :
“I am so sad no one wants to accompany me”.
“I know, right? But, I am coming. The match is so important, but you are far more important”.
The tone suddenly changed and she picked the storybook we haven’t finished for days. We only read few pages but that was more than enough to switch the voice and situation from going to sleep with awful mood to a happy one.
I stayed a little bit longer till I bid good night.
When I return to the couch, the match was still on the run, with no significance difference from when I left.
Watching the rest of the matches enjoyably till the end result.
Along the final matches, the players made lots of small mistakes, some were pretty frustrating, but there were certain critial moment, that they should make it and earned important points, because it made all the difference. Like getting to 11 first on the rubber set, because most of the time, one who got to 11 first on the rubber set won the game. Most of the time, not always. The decider player last night didn’t get to 11 first yet he won the match. But, it was rare. Most of the time, it has always been the one who got 11 first on the rubber, win the match.
Maybe it feels similar to parenthood. Along the journey, you’ll make lots of mistakes, wrong your child, but there are certain moments, that you can’t mess up, as long as you have the choice. In one of my readings which I couldn’t remember who or where, there are three critical periods in children daily life where being next to them would be an advantage : wake up time, after school, and before bed time.
I was glad I chose to come to her. Had I decided to keep watching, I might not miss the athletes made some points but, I would indeed miss bigger and critical points from someone who is absolutely more important than the athletes on the screen.
Having someone left their seat during the match wouldn’t change the result. No one will notice or don’t have a slightest care about that.
But, by doing that, it surely made a huge difference for the little girl’s mood result. She might remember it for some time such feeling, the bad or the good, depended of what the choice we made last night.
In the end, both circumstances wrapped beautifully.
The mens group lifted the trophy beating the Chinese group in three straight matches, after long years of waiting.
While me, I managed to lift up my little girl’s mood and prevented her from going to sleep with such awful feeling, after beating myself and warned the brain to not to mess up with the priority.
I have been wondering about something lately and end up reading some articles about this.
I am someone with noisy mind. From the time I wake up till bed time, my mind is one ‘who’ is constanly having monologue inside the head. Doing lots of daily activies always accompanied by the monolog inside my mind talking about many random things.
From this article : Mental noise – also called inner monologue – is a term used to describe the incessant chattering we hear all of the time in our brains, from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to sleep (sometimes it can even prevent sleep!).
The few items described by that article speaks to me a lot, especially one that said “constant analysis of our and other people’s situations, reactions and behavior”.
I always feel like having another friend inside of me that keeps me entertained. This is maybe why overthinking becomes one of my natural talent.
The good thing is it doesn’t bother the good night sleep at all so far. In some unusual day like when I have something big in mind like travelling far away from home, then it might disturb the night sleep.
Another side effect of having noisy mind is I am constantly looking for something to think. I feel restless when I have nothing to read and I feel calmer when I have enough reading stocks around. It gives me certain pleasure whenever I find something new to read unexpectedly, like bump into an instagram or blog with enjoyable writing.
With such noisy mind, I also keep looking for something to entertain my brain, making plans, doing some researches on something, mostly about doing activity with little girl or some new ice cream shop to try. Thus, I always one with plans and somehow feel ‘guilty’ when I have nothing in mind.
Writing is one way to reduce the noise inside. Been constantly writing since my elementary school days. It has been a great help until today. While reading doesn’t work all the time because it’s more of consuming kind, writing always does because it’s on the releasing part.
The downside is, whenever the writing urge strikes, once it started, I couldn’t stop until I finish it. Whenever the mood to write comes, I need to grab it. So, neglecting some other things is sometimes unavoidable.
This is also why I almost always write during holiday. With so many things the eyes see, the brain works even harder and the talking inside is getting louder. It needs some ways to reduce the noise and writing is the only possible way because I don’t (really) like talking to human being.
I rarely wait until the holiday is over because by that time, I already have other noises to deal with.
Just like now, by clicking the publish button, I am releasing some noise inside to give more space for some other to come.
This topic reminds me of one of the most exciting current on-going shows from dramaland, which is NOT SQUID GAME (still can’t bring myself to proceed more than the first few minute of the first episode), but this one.
Just like Yumi, maybe the noise comes from the cells inside that keep talking all the time?
I usually write in Bahasa Indonesia for a review, but not this time because no time to think harder.
Camping has been on little girl’s head for quite a while without no clear answer or plan.
Found this quite secluded glamping spot two weeks before, after intense two days researches, after having an official letter about piano school semester break, without knowing any other schedules at school.
Chose the date carefully on weekdays and half weekend. When the weekly schedule released last Sunday, the departure date turned out to be exactly right after the last test day at school, and for the first time, there was no zoom meeting for her favorite subject on Friday.
These little things that seemed like coincidences were things that amazed me how the invisible hand would help you in many ways beyond human calculation.
This glamping site is the closest, the safest, and the most reasonable choice for newbies like us (me and the little girl). It feels like camping like sleeping with some bugs, open air bathroom with pine tree view, night with bonfire, yet it has some adjustments like comfy bed and blanket and acceptably clean bathroom.
It is our first outing after nine months here and it is quite safe space for current situation. Open air, no physical distancing needed, big chance of mask free possible since meeting other group was quite rare. During our stay, there were only other two families.
Some yes points for the glamping site :
– Responsive staff
– Reasonable driving distance from home (2 hours)
– Got the camping feel for the little girl such as sleeping with some bugs inside the tent, campfire with roasted marshmallows, open air bathroom yet got the two most important things comfortably for mommy : bed and bathroom. Not ready to settle for less since this was my first time too.
– Price included 3 meals (BLD) and 3 snacks time.
– Quiet, fresh air, and far from crowded. At that time, we only had other two families with us. Those two checked out the next day, so there was period when we got all the camping site for ourselves.
– Kids friendly activities such ATV, fishing, guling-guling on the grass, walking and bathing in the river, monkey watching (there were few since it’s forest), acceptable tracking route for little girl with some help (tolerable means it depends on the one who got through it).
We took the nature walk to the next level. Conquered quite short yet rocky trail, crossed the river, climbed the rock with some help and managed to reach the finish line.
It was a great chance to entertain all the senses to the fullest. Watched the beautiful view along the hike. Listened to the nature sound and the silence of the forest. Smelled the fresh air. Felt all the things with the hand and feet. Filled the heart with utmost gratitude.
This was also my first time doing such thing and felt so ecstatic to have my pink boots finally been in the place it should have been after a while.
It is quite hard to not to brag about this little traveler who survived all kind of weather, from the deep blue sea to the top of the forest, happily. After live on board in Komodo Island for 5 days two years ago, this was another nature adventure she did well.
Among 11 people who started the tracking, only 3 completed the journey.
Finish what we have started is not something that everyone can do.
It was two days well spent without daily schedule, youtube or Roblox since proper internet or wifi was not available. Yes, they got NO WIFI, although they said they did in the website.
But, it wasn’t really a big problem because we did many things such as playing card for learning bahasa Indonesia, snake and ladder, drawing, or just swinging and went around the site.
“Will we have another camping next year?” she asked.
Well girl, that is a question that only time could answer. For now, let’s say big fat Alhamdulillah for us to be granted this precious chance.
Currently writing from inside a glamping tent in the middle of little forest.
Planned this short break just few weeks ago. When piano school break schedule was released, I thought we had to use it for something a little bit more than ordinary. We received the piano report card last week with pretty much flying colors. Never imagined I would see a perfect 100 in my 13 years of piano report card. Even 80 was gained with so much efforts.
When I saw such number on little girl’s report paper, there were certain inexplicable feeling. While she was being totally indifferent, not really knowing what it meant, thinking that it was just meaningless numbers (it actually was just numbers), but it was totally different story for me.
On that report card, I couldn’t help thinking hard about my mother. About things that she had done to make me stay, in spite never having tangible satisfying result for 13 years . To have such leap of faith, keep telling me that no hardworks would be wasted.
On that report card I saw how far this piano journey takes me. I won’t repeat the story here since I had written about that in here.
She was, as usual, right. That 13 years started to keep giving return right after I completed the long journey. Gave me the first job when I was on my first year of college. Gave me that proud feeling on earning my own money way much earlier than my peers. Started fully supporting my self on my third year, paid all my expenses from school tuition to rent, food, entertainment, even managed to save some for Hajj registration.
It didn’t stop there and continued to return the result of enduring that 13 years diligently. More than I could think of, in many things of my life. Thanks to 13 years, I was able to accompany my mother till her last breath, to take care of her on her last days. Thanks to that 13 years, I escaped full time works when I was a bread winner during the first year marriage. Thanks to that, I had choices to be able to stay with the little girl during her most important years. Thanks to that, I ticked my three big dreams during my 20s. I could go on about its return for me, but I’d rather stop here.
When I thought it couldn’t give better result, then it still refused to stop. Knowing the little girl condition with her speech delay and everything, I was totally reluctant to teach her this piano since I couldn’t understand how could she manage with such restriction.
But, there’s always something bigger than my small minded mind. Only need one coincidence of canceled school day and an anniversary gift.
I started teaching her out of leisure time on one winter day in December 2019 because her school suddenly sent notication they were dealing with small fire so they had to close the school that day. A simple Do-Re-Mi song from The Sound of Music.
We never stop since that day.
It becomes daily habit done 7 days a week with close to zero day, unless we are away from home. Two years later, this was what we got.
The first thing that came to my mind seeing this was : Nenek Salma must be happy
But, more than the numbers, I was happier to see the naration. How hardworking she has been, her enthusiasm, her willingness to learn, I was glad it was well-appreciated.
Wow, such a long prolog for a post.
It’s also been busy and packed for the last few weeks at school. Been doing tests on all subjects for few weeks and last Wednesday was the last one.
We planned this trip without knowing the last test schedule but, glad it turned out to fit everything. Last test on Wednesday and for the first time, there is no zoom meeting for the her favorite subject today. So, I could ask for permission with lighter heart.
She had been asking for camping for few times. Had so many ideas on her head about real camping. But, as a first timer, I wasn’t ready. So, thorough glamping researches done and finally met this place. Thinking about having a separate review post once we’re done.
The situation out there alhamdullilah is getting better and better, but still, we take every precaution needed till we decide to keep going with this. The doctor also managed to empty his schedule and everything.
So, here we are. Pressing the brake to enjoy some break with nature for a while before resuming of pressing accelerator pedal with clutch in daily life.
Today, during school from home morning circle, the little girl learned that people would break her heart, made her upset and cried hard, although it was unintentional, and there was nothing she could do to avoid that, no other way than to deal with it, on her own. Those around her could soothe her for a while, but the rest, she had to figure it out herself because it’s her who felt it inside.
A simple thing like when someone forgot to call your name during attendance list and gratitude book reading could turn to be something big. It was far from simple when you had waited for your turn patiently, you had prepared your line carefully, heard that even others who hadn’t prepared at all being called twice, you expected that your turn would come soon and suddenly it said it was done.
I encouraged her to speak up about that. I told her to unmute herself and say it loudly, although it was with trembling voice and teary eyes that she said she hadn’t got her name called. Some excuses given from the other party, but it didnt make things better of course.
Afterwards, I sent text to stress how important this thing for us and reminded to pay careful attention so there would be no second time for this, to anyone, for whatever reasons. Apology sent to me but it was actually the little girl who needed to hear it. She kept asking whether the person was really sorry or had already said sorry.
Other than upset, being confused was totally understandable. Here at home, we (always try to) apologize properly, discuss it, explain the whys, but we couldn’t ask other to do the same. Apology is not something that you ask from other people. It was given from someone who feels it’s the right thing to do after a mistake.
In the society where sorry and thank you are not not trained properly and considered mandatory, it’s hard to expect such thing from others. Even worse, those who think children doesn’t deserve a sincere apology.
At times like this, what helps a lot is to have proper time and space to process everything, to explain thoroughly so having acceptance would be easier. I am glad I was with her when such things happened.
As we make journaling more routine, she also managed to pour her feelings into short writing.
Slightly messier handwriting than usual due to messy heart?“I haven’t got my turn!”
It was not my first time dealing with this, been through worse, yet, it was still heart-breaking to see other people hurt your child.
There’s always homework to do in any stages of motherhood you go through.
Emotional regulation is our main subject which comes with bulk of tasks and lots of unannounced tests, for now.
Some days are Joyful and , some days are awful and bring you displeasures.
A Penny for My Pensieve 