Author: arlanadya

Pas special, J'ai seulement besoin de beaucoup de privee
Posted in Places, Travel

Lake District Trip : Penrith-Windermere-Grasmere-Stone Circle

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We arrived at Penrith Railway Station on Friday afternoon around 14.30. Check in was still one and half hour away so we visited Penrith Castle right in front of the station. It’s more of ruined castle and there was nothing much to see. We had quick lunch on the bench before continued walking to our guest house.

I booked a guesthouse 10 minutes walking from the station and it is located near the supermarket since we traveled without kitchen. Our room was a triple bed in the attic. It was nice and clean.

Right after checked in, we went for a walk to see around the city center of Penrith and since it is a small town, we could just walked around for two hours. More, in the current situation, almost all the shops were still closed. The streets were empty and people were rarely seen. We just went home after a short visit to Sainsbury to buy some snacks and water.

As it is another nature trip, we booked a car for the next 2 days. Day one turned out to be one of the grumpy days in my traveling diary. We were ready to go according to the appointment with the car hire person and took a cab to the office. We were a bit early so we waited first. Until 15 minutes, there was no sign it would come so I asked the trip planner to call them. It turned out they would be late because of so many things and the earliest they could arrive was 11 am.

The grumpiness started.

It was 10.20 and we decided to return to the guest house as we left something too. We called the same cab to send us back and asked the driver to pick us once again at 11.10. The car office was only 7 minutes away. Not long after we arrived at our room, the car person called that they had arrived. We practically wasted 10 pounds on cab. The car hire company agreed to give us some compensation about making us waiting for them without a prior notice.

After everything was clear, we’re good to go and I was so ready to execute my most wanted itinerary. But, as the wise words said : bad things never come alone.

The first destination was Ullswater and it was only less than 30 minutes away from Penrith. But, when we arrived there, parking spot were packed. Not only that, the parking along side the road were also full. The city people were spending weekend by swimming, hiking, and camping. Apparently, my picnic plan should wait a little bit longer.

We proceeded to the next stop to Aira Force. Small waterfalls near Ullswater and it said we could have some picnic too. I wasn’t really sure since I had a very specific picture about kind of picnic that I wanted to do and it was certainly not a picnic by the waterfalls. Arrived in Aira Force, turned out another jammed parking spot so we just stuck there for few minutes and continued.

The grumpiness level was rising.

We only had two days in Lake District and had spent more than half of the first day in car.

As we already had a booked boat trip in Windermere and it was impossible to miss it, we had no choice but heading directly there. We arrived an hour early and thankfully, no more parking spot struggle. While waiting for the boat, I saw a perfect picnic spot on the other side of the lake. But again, it was impossible to go there within an hour. I should accepted my picnic ransum to be finished inside the car instead by the lake.

My mood had been so awful for the rest of the trip. Even the slightest thing irritated me and my heart almost lost all interest in everything. The beautiful view of Windermere outside the boat window couldn’t make the eyes wide opened and they chose to sleep along the trip. The weather was quite fine. Some blue and grey skies took turn. The trip took an hour back and forth.

The next destination was Grasmere where there was a famous gingerbread man store which only opened until 5 pm. On the other side, we had already promised the little girl to go to playground. We had Brockenhole in our itinerary where there was playground. We supposed to go there before the boat trip. Since the plan changed, so did the itinerary.

We accidentally found a pretty decent playground on the way to Grasmere. We made a stop there and let the little girl played for a while. There were quite few people, big group of moslem families to be precise, doing picnic and barbeque although there was a clear sign of no camping, no fire, no barbeque. Shame on them.

One of the advantages of summer trip is the long daytime. So we proceed to Grasmere and when I saw the little vilage from the car, the hope to have a picnic by the lake soared. Grasmere is a beautiful little village, the town was slightly busier than Penrith. I always love town walking trip. But sadly, we couldnt do that in this trip. Also, most of the shops were still closed.

We bought dinner from one of the restaurant and still tried find a spot for picnic but ended up with nothing. At that time, all I wanted to do was went home and sleep.

The mood was slightly improved when we visited our last itinerary : Castlerigg Stonecircle. It looked just like mini Stonehenge without entrance ticket and the crowd. It was located on the top of mountain with incredibly stunning view. The view reminded me of the Heidi and The Swiss Alps book.

Albeit all the beautiful landscapes, day one spent with heavy heart and dissapointment.

Posted in Favorite things, Places, Travel

First time after Five Months : Penrith-Lake District

Posted on by arlanadya

As UK travel ban lifted and hospitality bussines started reopening last week, also following the advice from RCOA for his staff to have a break (also, Frederick Square staff needed some break too), we carefully chose the destination.

Lake District has been on my bucket list since it was Naomi and Danny first virtual dating place in Summer in London (again, it’s from a book). They described Lake District as one of the most beautiful places in England. It has list of many AONB places, An Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty. We picked Penrith as it is one of the towns to enter Lake District.

After five months, resuming traveling gives a whole different feeling. Couldn’t help feeling anxious, cautious, mostly because people here not really taking mask seriously. Luckily, mask is still compulsory in any public transportations. I am waiting for the time when not wearing mask can cause one a huge fine until vaccine is widely available.

But then, it also has one silver lining :

No more aisle seat and a chance to seat next to stranger for hours. Everyone should go by the window seat.

It was quite sad watching all the closed shops and the empty streets. Even a city as big as London, let alone the small cities. Some crowd seen in car park where people would go camping and trekking. It really took longer than expected for everything to recover. Hopefully, we would arrive there safe and sane, one day.

The view on the way to Penrith :

Posted in Places, Thoughts

Four Months in Four Minutes

Posted on by arlanadya

After three months watching the whole world in pause, currently, in the fourth month after UK official lockdown, everything is trying to have slow recovery. Personally, for certain things, I don’t want them to return to the way they used to. Like sitting next close to stranger in public transport and the way school operates.

It could be one of the biggest changes in many ways of life that we have been through in the life time.

It’s almost impossible to just let all the things happened in the last four months being forgotten without a proper memoire.

Four months in four minutes to remind me that I once got through something as extraordinary as this pandemic period.

Luckily, in this city.

Lockdown in Rotherhithe.

New normal in London.

Posted in Books, Thoughts

True Privilege(s)

Posted on by arlanadya

Among many words that being (ab)used often this year, privilege is one of them. As seen in current situations where inequalities happen everywhere, privilege becomes one of the keywords for the context.

According to Cambridge dictionary, privilege is an advantage that only one person or group of people has, usually because of their position or because they are rich. Most of the time, money is one of the strongest indicators of privilege and it’s true. Money might be not everything, but it surely makes things easier.

With money alone, the on-going pandemic even gives a clear line between those with privileges and those who arent. Those with savings and stable job could get through this hard time by surviving from home. Their life continues without so much struggles. But ones who are not as lucky, everyday might feel like a battle that should be fought hard in order to win. As lucky as I could be to be on the privileged side, I couldn’t help admiring those, in spite of their hard situation, keep thriving against all odds.

I have been realizing for some time that privilege comes in so many uncountable forms beyond money. Where you were born, who your parents (and later, your partner) are, a geographical place where you grow up, those were among given priveleges that one could have without effort since it’s all given. But, these past few months show that the true privileges are the intangibles of the tangibles. From my eyes, these are some examples of more real and needed privileges, or maybe kind of privileges that I want my daughter to have:

True privilege is not about how much money one has or earn, but the skill to know how to use it well, to achieve the goals and to give benefit to others.

True privilege is not about having good brain, but the ability to keep learning, trying, and not giving up when things get hard.

True privilege is not only about owning many things, but the ability and the willing to take care of it everyday.

True privilege is not living comfortably but having the adaptability skill to survive any situations.

True privilege is the ability to not taking things for granted, maintaining your health when you’re healthy, being conscious about what you do and your life, be grateful for everything that life has given to you.

True privilege is being mentally and physically healthy.

True privilege is knowing how much is enough based on your own standard not others and knowing your priorities and live accordingly.

True privilege is being able to be kind in this crazy world.

If those were summed up in one big picture, privilege is having the right mindset to live the life.

When I started my motherhood journey, the greatest unseen privilege that I have is : having choices. One should know how priceless it is. Tracing the dots back, having choices in the future was the result of the what focus on doing hard times one chose (or being chosen) in the past. I couldn’t help remembering one of James Clear’s quotes :

The Paradox of Freedom:

The way to expand your freedom is to narrow your focus.

Stay focused on saving to achieve financial freedom.

Stay focused on training to achieve physical freedom.

Stay focused on learning to achieve intellectual freedom.

What I realized after being a mother, such privileges are all earned. Not given. Through what? Through choosing the right courses in school life, as Prof Christensen said in How to Measure Your Life. Not until I became a mother then I knew that those hard times I had been through would give me easier path in the future. Not until I had my own child, those hard times were so much harder on the mother’s side than the child’s.

Giving your child hard times is ten times harder than experiencing them by yourself. It takes a lot of courage, commitment, stubborness, and heart made of steel to make and watch your child ‘suffer’, for good. Giving them hard times take the right treatment since you need to be fully present and supportive. Telling them to do something is not enough. You as parents, need to walk the talk. You need to keep learning on how to make and help them survive the hard times, without having unwanted damage.

Bloody hard works.

I was too afraid to imagine what I would become of if my parents didnt work hard and had strong heart to keep me stick with those challenging times. Been watching many examples and result if the parents takes the easy way. The price that the child should pay sometimes is too hard to handle.

The question is how to pass these privileges? Tracing back once again from my own experience, building privileges starts from building a good foundation, which is good characters. And good characters are the result of good habits built from early years. It’s a long term full time job. It’s tiring and exhausting. Countless time to resist the urge to quit, countless time to fall, stop, and breaks, then stand up once again.

The result of good habits built for years could only be visible in the long run. That makes many fail because we basically always want an instant result.

As James Clear wrote in Atomic Habits,

Habit

Progress

Outcome

Habit becomes character.

Character becomes one of most precious privileges.

More hardworks in future years and long way to go to create and pass as many as privileges to the next generation.

Because why not?

Life is never getting easy.

And, James Clear’s Atomic Habits is clearly one of the most important books to read in its category.

8 July 2020

(Updated) : Just listened to this and I couldn’t believe one of the best blogger whose writing I’ve been enjoying a lot since a long time said the very same idea about privilege in minute 42.

“The truest form of privilege is having the right mindset”.

Posted in Thoughts

After 30 Years

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I have been watching the doctor rooting for the club for 18 years (out of 22 years).

I’ve been witnessing how the mood could very much affected by the match result. That high school silly boy.

I have been listening to his (frustrating, exciting) rants for so many times.

Once listened to his almost two hours whinning when Torres moved to another club through international roaming phone calls (scary).

Once accompanied him watching the club play at GBK until late night when they visited Jakarta few years ago.

Twice accompanied him to Anfield. The first time for appetizer and warming up, the second time for main course, singing the anthem with the other birds that flocked together. Maybe the third time needed for the sweet dessert?

Not a fan of the club, but, watching their journey for years, step by step, progress by progress, it’s unimaginable to finally see the end of 30 years of waiting.

2015/16: 7th rank EPL + Final UEL + Final League Cup

2016/17: 4th rank EPL

2017/18: 4th rank EPL + Final UCL

2018/19: 2nd rank EPL + Champions UCL + Champions Super Cup + Champions Club World Cup

2019/20: Champions EPL

One thing about this, you can hate the club, but you can’t help falling for the Klopp. They can start building Klopp statue in front of the main gate. He deserves it.

Look at him being humble here. Giving credit to everyone but himself.
https://twitter.com/i/events/1276246091868934146?s=20

Everything will fall into its place when its about the time. They have all the right things to deserve the trophy.

The right attitude.
The right coach.
The right team.
The highest score with the biggest difference with the runner up.
The earliest to win the title.

Above all those winning points, yet, they have the most quiet celebration in EPL history after postponing the league for 13 weeks due to the pandemic.

From James Clear,

“You always hold the rights to your effort, but never to your results.

Results are entitled to no one. At best, they are on loan and must be renewed each day.

All you own is the right to try.”

Congratulations for the Champion of England title, Lads.

Posted in Places, Thoughts

Summer Time

Posted on by arlanadya

Summer is here. My least favorite season of the year, which for some people it’s the most enjoyable period when the day is long, sun is out, and it’s holiday.

The toughest part of summer is the praying schedule. Having subuh as early as 2.40 and isya as late as 10.43 is quite hard. But, it will slowly getting better. The temperature keeps rising for the last few days and it reached 30 celcius for these two days. The weather seems sending the signal to the body and mind to remind that they will soon deal with such temperature again. Yes, the end of this long holiday is near.

More and deeeper rants about that later.

As summer comes and curve flatenned, the UK government has announced another stage of easing lockdown yesterday. Start from 4th July, almost every bussiness could reopen their door. Hairdresser, library, children playground, pubs, museums, galleries, hotel, campsite, and dine in restaurant. After three months, it’s nervously excited to have all those things back.

Resuming holiday still takes lots of doubt. Because things will never be the same again after this. The anxiety is still bigger than the excitement. It feels like torn between keep being safe at home just like what we have for these three months and the longing for being in a new place once again.

While the other countries have started to slowly enjoy old normal life, Indonesia forced itself to join the crowd when more cases are available. Still, the shameless government keeps doing NOTHING significant to improve the situation. Three months have passed without any clear strategies.

Have I told you lately that we’re hopeless? I have and will be telling that again and again. It’s heart-wrenching knowing that going back to the place with stupid, ignorant, useless government is unavoidable.

Six out of twelve months have passed. Hopefully things will get better in the next six months.

Greeting Hello Summer with soft whisper and loud prayer.

Trafalgar Square today : never would imagine sunny summer day in London to be this empty
Posted in Books

The Passings

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Rarely concerned and made loud buzzing about stranger’s death unless it’s someone whose works deeply touched and enjoyed by heart and mind.

I found out Clayton Christensen passing in January recently and today, I found about the passing of Anders Ericsson two days ago.

Both are psychological book writers whose works I really admire.

Prof Christensen is Harvard Bussiness School professor who wrote How to Measure Your Life. His book was neatly and systematically written. He explained how bussiness theories are also applicable to other settings in life such as marriage, parenting and career. I borrowed his book from the library and had been renewing it for 20 times, because I wanted to keep reading it.

Anders Ericsson is Swedish Psychologist who had been studying about expertise for 30 years. His book, ‘Peak’, explained that an expert is never born, they are always made. Through the years of practice, to be spesific, deliberate practice. Many examples written is so entertaining until you will believe, there’s almost nothing that you can’t do, if you set your whole mind, body, time and energy to master something.

Thank you for such great works.

May you both rest in peace.

Posted in Thoughts

Resuming Lives

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Monday, 15th June 2020 became the first day of the re-opening all non essential store across UK after the official lockdown in last March. People were queuing from early morning to enter Primark and other Oxford Street’s darlings last Monday.

At certain point, I understand the reason behind such thing. Being in a represive state for three months is hard, extremely hard for some people.

Freedom is priceless.

But on the other side, have these three months taught lots of things such we actually dont need too much to live? (Reallyyyy? Asked all the purchase made during lockdown). Managed to survive these three months by doing only the most essential things to survive.

Going outside for doing groceries and daily walk only, once until thrice a week. Daily workout everyday with Daniel and Alex in my bedroom to keep my sanity, daily dose of dramaland friends, and recently, baking becomes something that gives unexplicable calm, spent time with the little girl and the doctor. I have known that home is where I belong the most since 10 years ago when I decided to quit full time job. But this pandemic made it obvious that home is (or should be) the centre of our life. Taking care and investing more energy on it should be something that we prioritized above anything.

It’s where we start and where we will return.

After these three months, personally, I am not really sure that back to the old normal is a good idea. I love the new regulation of not sharing seats with strangers in public transport, I love the idea that school and work could be balanced between doing it from home and on site plus the reduced working hours. I like the absence of morning rush, I like flexibility between schedule, I love keeping safe distance from other people, or maybe in short, it’s just because I love slow and quiet life too much. It might not be suitable for everyone.

I am fully aware about many privileges in my pocket that make surviving this situation well. No money issue eliminated the struggle by 70%. At times when people are losing job, work hard to make ends meet outside, being able to stay at home is precious. No specific mental health issue to deal with thanks to many things nurtured in the past.

Being physically and mentally healthy are priceless.

A message text just came this morning saying that little girl is invited to go back to school from Monday. I am torn between happy and worry. Happy because I think she really needs it already. Worry because she will start being exposed to outsiders which we have no control about many things.

I dont think we could really back to the old situation after this. Just can’t imagine how. Or maybe, not too fast. Instead of excitement, return to the old lifes bring more anxiety. Funny, eh?

In every turn, always wish nothing but Allah’s guidance and protection to walk every path we (choose to) take.

Posted in Thoughts

The Scary World We Live In

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It’s almost impossible to not being overwhelmed watching everything happen in these few past days, not to say the past few months.

The death of George Floyd who made the whole world filled the street and loudly screamed to abolish any forms of racism. Then yesterday, the old case of Shukri Abdi, 12 year old Somalian girl from Manchester who died of drowning because of bullying, and so many other things that put heavy weigh in the heart. The world looks three times more scary after motherhood.

I have known for long the world is scary, even in the early years I once wrote something about that in The World Against (Y)Our Introverted-Child. With this heavy heart, the homeworks for parents are getting harder. It turns out that it’s not enough to not to be racist. But, more than ever, it’s so important to be anti-racist.

Living in a city where we’re part of minorities, it’s such a blessing that until this very second since nine months ago, I have never been in any situations where I am treated unfairly. No matter where I go. So far, this city has been so kind to all of us. But, I have just realized that even London has a moslem mayor.

I am quite certain to say that I am not racist. I dont have any problems about making friends with anyone regardless their religion or race. Honestly, for someone who is always having hard time in dealing with people, I am glad enough if someone considered me as their friend.

But, I am not sure about doing a self-proclaimed that I am anti-racist. I might have been an unconscious racist in certain conditions or things. Then, the homeworks to teach such thing to the little girl is getting harder. You cant teach something that you dont even have no knowledge or experience.

The experience of being a part of minorities becomes one of the most valuable lesson. Things like travelling could help, although not much. Short duration wont make long lasting impact.

Maybe what we need is to be constantly exposed in a setting where differences become common. Deal with any kind of people from any backgrounds considered as something normal. Understand that we might be different in small things like our looks, beliefs, and preference, but on the greater side, we are all the same human who just want to be treated fairly by anyone, and kindness is a universal currency that accepted everywhere.

My heart always stings whenever I am thinking about the future years this little girl will have to deal with.

Found this enlightning video delivered by the most passionate Islamic studies NON MUSLIM scholar which tells the clear definition about non-racist and anti racist.

The first anti-racist person in the whole world turned out to be the best man in the world who is so dear to us, moslem.