I intended to have the word ‘dark’ above. But, let’s keep the hope alive.
As other countries have been easing their lockdown since the curve has flatenned, the most frustrating home country couldn’t help waiting to do the same by releasing ‘new normal package’. The absurd thing is they’re doing this when the curve has nothing close to be flattened, in fact, it keeps soaring. While there are no more tests, no tracing, no self quarantine, basically almost no significant effort to strongly, stubbornly flatten the curve.
While the efforts from the government feel pretty useless, the citizens are not even better. Leisurely going out without the mask, ignoring social distancing, and many more.
When incompetent government meets ignorant citizens, that’s the price we have to pay.
How a country be more screwed than this?
In my opinion, we’re currently watching the result about the absence of some basic skills that supposed to be nurtured and mastered since early childhood :
– self discipline
– empathy
– literacy and numeracy
It surely becomes the big homeworks for the parents of future generation.
It’s really the most crucial and right time for those education policy makers to re-design early childhood and primary education curriculum. It becomes obvious to strongly emphasize some basic skills and values that should be nurtured in all school without exception. Make it a compulsory course for all school and children whatever curriculum they use, no matter what kind of school they run.
•
It takes a village to raise a child. But, above that, it takes the right and well-run policies to create physically and mentally strong future generation who will make a strong respectable country.
•
Self discipline to deal with themselves in any situations.
Empathy to deal with others without prejudice, whatever background they have.
Strong literacy and numeracy to understand how anything in this world works.
•
Those three would be good enough.
With them, then maybe we could have a brighter future than the current situation.
I didnt know that changing the domain address will cause a drastic change to the blog. Any older posts under arlanadya.wordpress.com were unaccessible from search engine.
I thought changing the address wouldn’t make any changes to the contents. I still have no idea how I can export all those old posts to appear in my new domain : apennyformypensieve.wordpress.com.
Rarely have any regrets in things I have done. But this one, I really regretted changing the address without fully knowing the consequences.
I have all my posts with me. But, when it’s searched on the search engine, any old posts under arlanadya would display ‘the author has deleted this site’.
An email came on the beginning of May about virtual competition at school.
Asked her to participate and it was a yes. Made a simple arransement of the competition song and practiced it with her right away. We had only two weeks to master everything.
Ten days after the first practice, she nailed all the notes and lyrics. Performance practice kept going.
Had a rehearsal once before submitting the video. Two days before deadline, video submitted to the school.
Today, they announced the result.
First winner in her category granted. Alhamdulillah.
Among one big flaw given and many other ones she has, some few strengths are also running in her blood.
Hard working, persistent, kind, easy going, resilient, and enthusiastic learner.
For me, that’s more than enough.
I am beyond grateful having this school in one of her early education years.
Passed two months after lockdown policy first announced, UK has been easing the lockdown as numbers of new cases and deaths are continously falling.
Right now, outdoor picnic, travel inside the city without using public transportation, even meeting one people outside the household is already allowed.Bus is getting more crowded, the queue at the supermarket is getting shorter although it’s still crazily long on weekend. So we just have to know when to shop. But, essential things are all stocked up. No more worries about searching for eggs or rice. Last week, even baking essentials which have been unavailable for weeks were all back in stock.
We had picnics on the day of Eid and the day after. It was nice to be freely and legally outside while the temperature is getting high. We had the Eid picnic on the park nearby and the following day we went to the Southwark Park by bus.
School is planned to reopen by next week. We are still unsure to send the little girl back by next week. Still waiting the strategies from the school about this.
Di ilmu manajemen ada yang namanya POAC. Planning, organizing, actuating, controlling.
Planning buat Ramadan pertama Langit sudah dijalankan berbulan-bulan sebelumnya waktu belajar rukun Islam. Repetisi teori tiap malam sampai berminggu-minggu.
Semakin dekat, Organizing rundown di kepala. Ramadan pertama di luar jadwal biasa buat orangtuanya pun ngga mudah, apalagi buat anaknya. Satu hari sebelum hari H, akibat terus berpikir musti apa, ide datang tiba-tiba.
Target-target kecil dibuat dengan reward yang sesuai. Membayangkan 30 hari puasa berat, tapi dengan mencacah jadi tiga bagian, lebih terlihat ringan. Bukan terasa. Baru terlihat. Di awal, target 10 hari pertama 5-6 jam, 10 hari kedua, 7-8 jam, dan 10 hari ketiga 9-10 jam.
Saatnya Actuating dan implementasi.
Dengan pertimbangan jam puasa yang panjang, sahur dan buka di Ramadan ini dilakukan 2x. Sahur pertama jam 2, yang kedua jam 4.30. Buka pertama Zuhur jam 1 lalu bertahap asar jam 5 lewat.
Di 10 hari pertama, ternyata semuanya berjalan di luar rencana. Hari ke 5, puasa 5-6 jam sudah ngga terasa. Jam buka bukan jadi hal yang terlalu ditunggu. Maka setelah 10 hari pertama, durasi dinaikan. Daripada jam buka yang lebih lama, lebih pas memajukan jam sahur. Selain karena subuh aktual juga semakin pagi setiap hari, sekalian latihan sahur yang sebenarnya.
Kalau orang dewasanya sahur dulu baru subuh, anaknya subuh dan tadarus dulu baru sahur. Solatnya lebih penting dan lebih cepat dibanding kunyah makanan. Batas imsak adalah alarm yang sudah diset waktu tertentu. 10 hr kedua, maju 2 jam dibanding sebelumnya. Waktu buka masih sama.
Setengah bulan, durasi puasa yang baru mulai terasa biasa. Pertanyaan “can we ifthar first” makin ngga terdengar, waktunya menaikan batas lagi. Notifikasi adzan zuhur sudah dimatikan. Diganti dengan alarm yang tiap beberapa hari dinaikan waktunya akhirnya buka ketika adzan asar.
Di 10 hari terakhir, alarm sahur dinaikan pelan-pelan dan sampai batas yang di rasa cukup buat belajar puasa pertama. 12 jam penuh. Mirip dengan durasi puasa penuh di Indonesia.
Kebanyakan ide itu dateng di detik terakhir. Hadiah besar sudah dikeluarkan di hari ke 28 masih dibungkus. Penawaran baru diajukan di menit terakhir hari terakhir menjelang asar : boleh buka puasa sekarang dengan 1 hadiah besar seperti kesepakatan di awal atau mungkin mau nunggu sampai maghrib dan bisa dapat 2 hadiah besar.
(Hadiah udah dibeli beberapa karena nemu bundle super miring di ebay. Sisanya disimpan buat nanti kalo diperlukan. Jadi, hadiah kedua juga sudah ada).
Di sini Percobaan Marshmellow Walter Mischel, salah satu riset paling terkenal di psikologi pendidikan, yang digunakan. Dimana anak-anak bisa belajar tentang delay gratification. Kurang lebih mirip seperti penawaran yang diajukan. Sekarang dapet satu, tunggu sebentar dapat dua.
Dengan setengah hati, (dan dorongan pasif-agresif orang tuanya), anaknya milih buat nunggu. Tambahan beberapa jam trakhir mungkin salah satu yg terberat karena pertanyaan-pertanyaaan khas jadi sering terdengar lagi.
Tapi kata kaya Mbak Nana, “kita sudah sejauh ini. Kalah bukan pilihan”. Dengan segala macem distraksi Alhamdulillah sampai ke akhir yang diinginkan.
Langit menyelasaikan Ramadan pertamanya 30 hari penuh dengan baik.
Setelah tiga tahap sebelumnya, akhirnya bagian Controlling jadi penting buat mencapai tujuan. Tanpa kontrol, semua rencana dan implementasi bubar. Ngga ada konsekuensi, ngga ada reward, ngga ada kejelasan dan batas waktu.
Selain kontrol diri dari anaknya, orangtua sebagai yang lebih berkuasa perlu punya kontrol dan membuat batasan plus kebijakan yang jelas.
Kalo orangtuanya buat planning mentah, organisasi dan implementasi setengah-setengah, kontrol diri anak lemah, ditambah kontrol yang payah dari orangtua, apa sejak awal memang pilih untuk kalah?
Orangtua dan anak bisa diganti subjeknya untuk skala yang lebih besar. Seperti pemerintah dan rakyat, mungkin?
Ramadan yang berat memang bukan lapar hausnya. Yang berat itu bangun(in) setiap pagi dimana yang bangunin juga pengennya tidur lagi, yang berat itu (liat anaknya) solat dan ngaji sambil nahan kantuk. Yang berat itu nunggu Isya sampe jam 10. Yang berat itu nahan sabar dan godaan dimana pilihan buat berenti selalu ada. Toh ngga ada hukuman yang keras ketika itu dipilih. Bolong sehari ngga papa, kan baru belajar, kata setan di kepala. Paling anaknya cuma ngga dapet hadiah. Atau kan dia udah dapet beberapa hari, kasih ajalah udah dibeli ini.
Kembali ke nasehat terkenal kepala sekolah dari dunia sihir, ” Saat-saat yang sulit membuat kita harus memilih mana yang mudah dan mana yang benar”.
Ramadan pertama Langit menunjukkan buat melakukan yang benar itu ngga pernah mudah. Ramadan benar-benar salah satu cara yang paling konkrit untuk melatih kontrol diri sejak dini. Sesederhana menahan diri dari makan dan minum itu efeknya panjang sekali di masa depan.
Ternyata ngga sia-sia dengerin kuliah di GKA lima belas tahun lalu. Pun kuliah psikologi pendidikan sembilan taun lalu. Semoga jadi amal jariyah buat semua yang ngajar.
Semoga semua amal Ramadan diterima, semua doa dikabulkan dan bisa bertemu lagi tahun depan. Amiin.
Hadiah kecil 10 hariHadiah sedang 20 hariSatu hadiah besar 30 hariBerubah jadi dua karena menunggu lebih lama
Personally, the tagline ‘The most wonderful time of the year’ always belongs to Ramadan. To be exact, Ramadan at home.
As much as I love slow daily life at home, in Ramadan, everything goes even slower.In my best memories, few days to Ramadan and Eid, the childhood house became clean and bright.
All new bed sheet, towel, curtain, smelled fresh and nice. It was truly like a warm welcome for a special guest.
Heading to the end of Ramadan, the house will be busy with homemade cookies production. For few days, based on the schedule, right after sahur, the kitchen would be filled with the sound of mixer, the messy flour, sugar and butter on the table, stacks of baking trays, and the loud chatting among the people. It felt as busy as a boulangerie dealing with big orders.
This year, with or without this pandemic, for the first time, having Ramadan in a place where there’s no familiar sound and ambience, the only thing that seems possible and doable is having some familiar taste.Unlike the doctor, cooking doesnt spark joy for me.
My cooking skill is only enough to survive. But, baking these cookies are another story. These cookies were one of the strongest memories, happiest moments (in Ramadan) with the people I love the most, in the place once called home. They are too important to let go.The old hand-written recipe had been saved before departure a year ago.
Research and searching for the most similar ingredients had been done thoroughly for weeks. Production timing and all other cooking schedule were set carefully.Plan B had been set just in case the first experiment failed.
Since everything that can be done had been done, the heart is more than half mentally prepared to fail.But as always, Allah is great. He’s too gracious to let me fail since I couldn’t have anything who gave better lebaran-feel-at-home than these precious cookies.
After the mess, the hassles, the doubt and anxiety (because all the energy spent), lots of consultations till the silliest detail to the expert, recalling the past memories while watching my mother did this for years, not to forget the production and post-production backpain doing the detailings mostly alone, with some help from the buddies at home, long hours of baking and multiple checking, then cleaning the chaos afterwards, in long hours
of fasting, it all paid off.
They were as close, as good as I remembered how it was at home.In my family tradition, these three are better be enjoyed altogether. Each could be eaten separately, but together, they make joyful taste in your mouth.
There’s always a right book for every situation. At the end of Ramadan, The Art of Making Memories from CEO of Happiness Research Institute was my companion. This Ramadan showed how retrieving one episode of happy memory in the past became something valuable to create another happy memory in the present, then become something valuable too in the future. It was those happy memories that helped me surviving bad times and keep going (far), no matter what tremendous changes life bring.
Chocolate chips, kaastengels, cashew nuts and the sound of takbir from Spotify.
As the temperature is getting high, lockdown is eased slowly, more people are allowed to be outside. The highest temperature this week reached 27 celcisius degree. Can’t believe the no-sweater weather is finally here.
Unlike two previous Ramadans, this Ramadan the period returned right after I finished my baking bussiness. So, the homework after Ramadan is getting harder. Slightly even harder because maghrib is getting late. Up until today, maghrib comes at 9 pm. But, the long hours of fasting turned out to be quite bearable.
The thought of Ramadan will be over in two days is what make the heart sad.Some souvenirs from few last sessions of morning and afternoon walk.
Rotherhithe is such a lovely neighbourhood indeed.
It has been the third month and current situation is getting hard for many people. The battle against the virus slowly turns into the battle against boredom, frustration, and maybe depression. Some hashtags were trending such as #whenthisisover, #aftercorona, etc.
It’s totally understandable. But, sometimes the least that we need during a long battle is expectation. The expectation that this will finish soon, back to the old normal, vaccine will be available, even some more confidence plans like traveling at the end of the year. Hope is surely important. That’s what gives us strength to keep going. But, just like the old saying, hope and expectation always kill.
I think what we really need right now is adaptation and high and higher acceptance.
For someone who get used staying at home from years before by my own choice, I couldn’t say I enjoy current situation a lot, but I found this is not bad at all, as long as we’re healthy and have no issue about providing our basic necessities. I have two measurable things of my own happiness since long : being healthy and have no worry about shopping grocery. When those two met, then I have had enough.
Being healthy has been always in my top prayer item. It was one reason that made me quit full time job ten years ago. Healthy is not about physically healthy, but also the peace inside. Life is surely not all rainbow, but when hard times strike, I find it’s more bearable when I have more power about how to spend my own daily life. The freedom to be able to choose is priceless.
Boredom is rarely an issue because staying at home doesnt make me planless. I have my own daily schedule, something in my head, some writing to read, some time to do light exercise, taking care some stuff at home, and taking care the place I live. With Langit is here, it makes day even easier because I have another important thing to take care of. Being bored rarely happens. Just like the little creature in The Cave said,
Only boring creature gets bored.
One period of daily life that I feel hard to be survived is when menstruation comes. Daily life without salat feels like life with no firm boundaries. It’s confusing and more tiring. Without my other daily schedules, it could be the most frustrating time.
Human connection is important of course. But then, this virus shows which human(s) whom we should build connection the most in the end. The best investment that you can make for somone who really matters is time.
This pandemic brings so many important blessing in disguises for me. Having more of the little girl at home, adequate and proper time to teach five times prayer, even better, to experience her first Ramadan, homeschool her without too much pressure, and a chance to be shown how she much she has improved and done well dealing with current situation. I can’t say how much I am proud of her.
When I looked back, everything I am of now, somehow it returned to one of the biggest investments that my parents did for me, which was those thirteen years I spent doing Piano in Sekolah Musik Yayasan Pendidikan Musik (SM YPM) .
Surviving one non-compulsory thing for such a long time taught so much about persistence, determination, commitment, survival, adaptation, discipline, grit, hard work, in short, all the things to survive any situations in life. It gives me shiver how those thirteen years keep giving more returns in many unexplicable ways, until now.
It’s been around five years when I decided to spare one best slot of the days in the week for one(s) who supported me in every way to survive those years.
Since the beginning of Life in the time of Corona post series, I have said that it’s best to keep in mind that this situation will last longer than we imagine. So, we could make it easier by setting daily schedule, taking care the place we live, making daily and weekly plans, and totally dropping the long term ones. Slowly change what we can do and keep finding something to enjoy more of daily life. With what we have, right where we are.
In the end, everthing happens for a reason. I couldn’t be more grateful to be living in a place with fresh air, nice weather, quiet and calm neighbourhood, good public tranportation, with my ring 1 during this pandemic life.
We have passed the first ten days of Ramadan and currently on 13th day. Subuh is getting early while maghrib is getting late. Morning walk is rarely done since the spring weather has been pretty cold for the past few days. Other than that, the long hours fasting is a priority for now. One thing that I never let go daily is home workout exercise. Fasting and workout are two things that I can handle, with other compulsory things like I wrote once in Puasa Ramadan, Menyusui, dan Olahraga and Puasa Sunnah, Menyusui, dan Olahraga.
Little girl had successfully finished her 10 first days strongly. For the second leg, we added 2 more hours of her fasting duration. Instead of longer ifthar, I decided to try earlier sahur. I think is easier for her since she is an early riser. Prolong the ifthar might be harder for her. Maybe. I still dont know which will work for the third leg, but so far she’s been so excited and doing the fast well.
We give her one star each day once she finished her fasting and some little present at the end of ten days. She had opened her first present three days ago. We promised her a small present if she manages to fast for the next 10 days, a medium one and when she completes all 30 days, a big one will wait for her.
It’s been so far the most calm Ramadan I have ever experienced. I stopped coming to ifthar outside since 8 years ago. The only place I need for ifthar is at home. Unless it is unavoidable, after a long day of fasting, the least that I need is being somewhere without my comfortable pyjamas or daster. I need to break the fasting peacefully. Thats why I always ask Langit to stay away from the table when adzan maghrib comes. The houseworks are still manageable since I always plan ahead. I am lucky I dont have to do all the cooking.
One big progress is consistenly doing my tarawih with the least skip in years. It takes bigger effort to do tarawih more than the fasting for me. I hope the mind will keep it until the end. The older you are, the older you realize that refrain yourself from eating and drinking is not that hard. But, fighting to do what’s right over the easy, when it’s not compulsory, that’s the real fight. And the hardest battle is the one that you deal with yourself.
Lockdown life in UK still keeps going. It might be extended for more weeks and it’s surely the right thing to do. The peak has passed, but it’s still not enough to be relaxed. Nothing really matters right now other than being healthy until we could safely passed this together.
May the rest of Ramadan brings more blessing for everyone.
It’s been six weeks after lockdown announced in UK and things are slowly getting better.
After weeks, Deptford Market Yard returned to bussiness and Lidl pastry section started opening too last week. It’s not really the time to back to normal yet, because new cases are still coming although death numbers are declining.
Ramadan started last Friday. It’s the first time having Ramadan in this unfamiliar setting. No sound of imsak, adzan maghrib and tarawih, no street food takjil. Ramadan in spring makes long hours of fasting. While in Indonesia, fasting takes around 13 hours, here it lasts for 17-18 hours. Subuh is getting earlier by two minutes while maghrib is getting late by three minutes each day. At the end of Ramadan, we should stop eating as early as 3 am and having ifthar at 9 pm. It’s quite tough.
Somehow I think, lockdown makes it easier. Less distractions to go outside, school, mosque are closed. The highlight is having the little girl her very first fasting in her life. She’s been diligently fasting for 8 am until zuhur at 1 pm since the first day. Presents are waiting at the end of every 10 days😀.
Hopefully we can spend this Ramadan in good health and safely passed this pandemic together until the end.
A Penny for My Pensieve 