Author: arlanadya
Pas special, J'ai seulement besoin de beaucoup de privee
5th : (School) Life in the Time of Corona
According to Howard Gardner, there are 7 types of intelligences that human could be categorized to. Howard Gardner initially formulated a list of seven intelligences. The first two have been typically valued in schools; the next three are usually associated with the arts; and the final two are what Howard Gardner called ‘personal intelligences.
1. Linguistic intelligence
2. Logical-mathematical intelligence
3. Musical intelligence
4. Bodily-kinesthetic intelligence
5. Spatial intelligence
6. Interpersonal intelligence
7. Intrapersonal intelligence
In Frames of Mind Howard Gardner treated the personal intelligences ‘as a piece’. Because of their close association in most cultures, they are often linked together. However, he still argues that it makes sense to think of two forms of personal intelligence. Gardner claimed that the seven intelligences rarely operate independently. They are used at the same time and tend to complement each other as people develop skills or solve problems.
As a person, I have known even before I knew about this theory, my biggest strength goes to the 7th intelligence. The ability to know my self very well. I mostly know what I want, what I should do, the persistent and determination to achieve it, the ability to stand up no matter how many times I fall, and the resilience to finish what I have started no matter how long it will take.
As it is said above that one intelligence rarely stand alone, the other one that I could be quite comfortable to claim is number 1. While I might have some bit number 3 and 4, have a little of 2, and the very least of 5 and 6.
In some researches, intelligence of a child is inherited more of it from the mother than the father as written in this article.
Research has confirmed that a child’s intelligence is in fact determined by their mother’s genes.
That is because intelligence is carried on the X chromosome and while kids can inherit an X chromosome from their dad also, mums carry two X chromosomes so are more likely to pass theirs on.
Researchers at the University of Washington found that a secure emotional bond between a mother and child is crucial for the growth of some parts of the brain. After analysing the way a group of mothers related to their children for seven years, the researchers found children who were supported emotionally and had their intellectual needs fulfilled had a 10 per cent larger hippocampus at 13 on average than children whose mothers were emotionally distant. The hippocampus is an area of the brain associated with memory, learning and stress response.
A strong bond with the mother is thought to give a child a sense of security which allows them to explore the world, and the confidence to solve problems. In addition, devoted, attentive mothers tend to help children solve problems, further helping them to reach their potential.
As a mother, one thing that I know I have done right so far is having fixed schedule at home from the very beginning of my child life. It’s so important for my sanity and turns out it is also supported by experts about how important daily routine for children.
As a baby, Langit’s day starts from subuh at the latest at 6 am and always end at the very late at 8 pm. My two non-negotiable principles are :
1. Bed time is at 8 pm.
2. Eating what is served.
No questions and debate on those two.
As years go by, I keep enjoying the results of applying those two things. Wherever we go, she sleeps on time. Weekend or weekdays, home or holiday, the eyes closed at 8pm. She grows to be a non picky eater, wherever we go, she eats what is served on the table. After seven months here, no dependency to rice is one of the advantages of living here.
In spite of all the hardships, all the energy and resources spent, moving to London is one of the best things happened to us, as a family and individually. I wont elaborate about that, but only focus to things that related to the title.
Heading to the end of her first seven years leg, having fixed routines brings even more advantages. Combination of having fixed routines since early years and moving here turn out to be something that helps a lot during this unprecedented time.
It’s been few months since she started having compulsory fixed schedules as followed from morning till evening :
Morning
-Subuh
-Quran
-Small breakfast
-Piano
-Big Breakfast
– Bath time
School from 8.30-16.00
Evening :
– after school watching
-Maghrib
-Iqro&Islamic
-Reading books and phonics
She literally wakes up for Subuh together with us on the exact prayer time. It’s getting harder recently since in spring and summer, subuh is getting earlier while maghrib is getting longer.
But, as many thing before, we will figure it out and find some way. After subuh, it’s time for reading Quran. It’s when she recites and memorize Juz amma. Every two weeks, we add another surah without leaving the old ones that have been memorized before.
Done with those two, she will have a light breakfast with a cup of milk and bread/pancake/donut then proceed to her most favorite schedule : piano practice.
It’s been only four months, but unexpectedly, her progress is quite good. Talking from a piano teacher point of view, I am surprisingly satisfied with her, as she has an underlying condition (will elaborate this later as I have also written in few previous post back). I see how powerful it could be to practice and repetition done daily to the whole skill. It’s still a long way to go, but having the basic skill and attitude right, it’s something that should be celebrated.
Done with piano, she can choose either to take a bath or have her next breakfast first. This time is main course breakfast with rice. She doesn’t have rice for lunch. I usually pack her bread and jam or samdwich burger, yoghurt and fruit, and some other light snack.
After six hours in school, she could have her me time of watching youtube, games, or whatever she wants while waiting for dinner. Maghrib is the cut off of her me time. After maghrib, she is having Iqro and short Islamic lesson and reading books before 8pm sleep.
That’s what the normal days look like.
Those compulsory schedules are all on me.
________________________________
This Friday is the third week of UK lockdown but the fourth one for us.
After four weeks at home, additional options during lockdown (choose or leave as we/she want) :
+ Zuhur, Asr and Isya (the silver lining)
+ Morning walk and exercise
+ Painting
+ An hour of bathtub playing
+ Scary Math with Daddy (no daddy no math)
+Nap time
+ Two sessions of watching youtube
+ Writing
+ Helping with dinner, laundry, and cleaning, baking or washing the dishes.
While the compulsory ones are all on me, these optional ones are divided with her dad. Since it’s optional, we can have it or leave it. No pressure.
The only thing that slowly move from optional to compulsory is the first item. The best thing of this staying at home period is the chance to have her doing all five prayers. What could be better than that?
This might sounds a bit uncomfortable, but I somehow feel grateful to be here during this hard time. Having the doctor working with proper shift schedule, although the risk is no joke, but at least, he has proper rest time.
Having the little girl schooled in a place which only focused in three big areas is a blessed. I saw a lot of parents throwing tantrum to their child school because of the unrealistic school works given during staying at home. This is a hard time for everyone. Not only for the adults, but also for the kids. There’s no need to make it harder of doing what’s not too urgent and important.
As her school only focus in three things : Reading, Math, and Writing, they make it easier too for us to be focused.
They have the same book to read for a whole week with different tasks given daily based on that.
They do the same math theme to repeat until they master it.
All down to the same thing : repetition.
Based on this post opening, she tends to learn faster in language than in math. She loves phonics, reading fast, and love to playing with words into song. That helps her to play piano easier too. She can play while singing and reading the notes at the same time. She can answer questions without a single mistake when playing in the language app. It’s the irony or the funny side since she has an underlying condition.
Meanwhile in math, judging from the high pitch of her father’s tone from many of math lessons, guess the researches above is true. But, not to take all the credit, both of her parents love books and reading too, so it’s more combination of nature and nurture to be fair.
What the schools here have differently is the resources to learn about that. They have bulks of website and apps to learn. It’s paid by the school and free to use. It’s currently Easter break for two weeks so basically there’s no lesson schedule from the school, but we still keep practising as usual.
More than before, it’s proven having daily schedules in whatever situation, turns to be a great help for the parents and the child. So they know what to do each day, even when school is cancelled.
More than before, it shows that the child first school is at home, and the parents is their first and main teacher.
It’s important to choose what really matters the most for us what kind of lesson we want to teach them. We can’t pick all the fight, make those SWOT analysis on you and the child, and choose our own battle and stick with it until a long time. Do it daily with no excuse. This lockdown period gives proper chance to build tiny habits at home that becomes the main ingredient for characters. Something that will go with our child for a long time.
We dont spent too much time doing the lessons. Just average amount and adequate time. Instead, she found new love for cooking with her dad, taking care laundry, and doing any other non-related school things.
We do morning walk to the forest, climbing the hill, riding the scooter, and stopping by to Sainsbury to buy some things.
These kind of lessons that we do during school in the time of corona.
School is greatly missed indeed and we’re really looking forward to going back there. But being at home for a long time is not a bad idea. After all, it’s the only place where we could return to.
4th : Life in the Time of Corona
The contrast between what it feels inside and how it looks like outside.
Every single day feels likes a battle that should be fought hard, hopefully to win, safely.
A battle that feels getting (morally) harder and harder each passing day.
It feels like being in the ‘light’ version of one of the best movies where Roberto Benigni won the best actor in 1999.
Walking in a very thin line between staying strong, sane, and positive while dealing with continous anxiety and sad news to keep going.
In this kind of situation, survive alone, that seems one huge thing that matters the most.
Anger Rant
I have known for long our country has a lot to catch up.
But, until this pandemic is happening,then I know, we would never be able to catch up. Not even in 100 years.
It’s 2020 and what we have is stupid, ignorant, useless government.
Need more?
They are as well bastard, brainless, clueless, heartless, more evilish than the real evil.
They practically dont do ANYTHING to PROTECT their people and just let everything be ‘taken care’ by nature.
Indonesia is the only country whose government consciously using herd immunity to face this virus.
3rd : Life in the Time of Corona
Found this unknown small parks around the neighborhood while taking the road less often traveled during morning walk.
It’s been a week of lovely sunny weather to have a picnic in the park. Sunny day made the days feel lighter. I was never fan of long walk before, but these few past weeks, it becomes something that I crave the most. It’s beyond grateful to live in this neighborhood during this hard time. The fresh air, the right amount of silence, the greens around the area, the bench to sit and wander. But, most of all, the ability to enjoy all of them.
Among all the dark side current situation brings, finding the bright side is essential to keep us sane.
The last words Albus Dumbledore spoke to us? “Harry is the best hope we have. Trust him”.
Replace Harry with the best hope we have.
And Trust Him.
2nd : Life in the Time of Corona
Morning walk becomes a new routine since the invisible bug attack. It’s such an irony while the beautiful season is here, we should stay at home.
An hour of morning walk is much needed to stay sane and living in this introverted neigborhood is an underrated blessing. The serenity, the beautiful weather, it’s calming.
May everyone stay healthy and hope we can safely passed this storm together.
Amin.
1st : Life in the Time of Corona
We are now currently facing the huge pandemic of Corona, and London keeps having more cases since the beginning of March.
We have been staying at home from last Friday. The doctor had been sent home right after his hospital, which should have been cleared from the virus, confirmed its first case last week. The government had announced the school closure starting 20 March for the whole UK.
After doing 10 days of self isolation with my housemates, witnessing and experiencing the frustration for finding basic needs, checking to almost every store, having intense fear of being outside and facing the crowd, some thoughts occured.
It would be a good idea to stop counting the x-th day of WFH or whatever the hashtag is and slowly start accepting this is a new normal situation.
It’s not a two weeks holiday at home instead a daily life that would or very likely last at least a year ahead.
It wont hurt to start thinking and preparing how to survive and adapt with the new life.
More than ever, it’s proven that having daily habits at home, done consistently every single day, would be so helpful for the adults and the kids to keep the sanity. Even babies need their own habit and rhytm. We can’t live continously with holiday mode.
More than ever, the golden rule of finance is proven : Cash is king. The importance of having emergency fund to support at least 6-12 months of life become non-negotiable.
More than ever, everyone has a chance to feel a tiny pinch of what a newborn mother felt.
Facing a new life with zero experience, limited access to be outside, limited chance to have a proper amount of social interaction, no difference feeling between weekdays or weekend, dealing with lots of uncertain things ahead and how stressful such situation is until the famous What to Expect the First Year described :
“There’s no other job as emotionally and physically taxing as parenting in the first year”.
But, the good news is, just like rainbow days, stormy days have also its expiry date.
This too shall pass.
The panic buying and stock piling will end.
One of BBC articles, (unlike the Post Partum Depression in newbornmother), it’s corona recession, not yet depression. Hopefully will never be.
In the mean time, we just have to do everything in our power, to survive, together.
*Self isolation itself is not that hard as a bunch of boring introvert.
How almost every supermarket in UK look like these days :
The whole world goes down by something invisible, intangible, yet so powerful.
Verily, there are sigs for those who reflect.
Half Year in London
Today’s marked as the sixth month since we set our foot in this city. Facing lots of uncertainties, from the most basic thing as place to live, jobs, school, until how to manage day by day in this land of strangers, and many more. It is the first longest time I survive living in other part of the world than Jakarta.
Along these six months, we adapt and adjust quite well here. Overall, although it’s not easy, but life has been pretty good to us. We sleep and eat well, pay our bills on time, able to enjoy some meals outside. In spite of the weather, we have been surviving it with all the resources we have, even doing lots of winter trips (too many, in facts😁). In some parts, I feel like repeating what I had been living back in 1994 during time spent for 1,5 months in Manchester as I wrote in Miles away from home, chapter 1: Manchester.
Our moving to London turned out to be not only for accompanying the doctor for his fellowship, but it is also for me, and especially Langit. For years, I have been asking continously about something, reading as much as I can, looking everywhere for the answer, and here, I finally found the answer. Another more serious post would elaborate this later.
One of the funny big changes happened during these months is how I turn 180 degrees from hating white milk and corn flake to loving it until it becomes my daily lunch three times a week. Yes, cornflake and white milk for lunch. I think about it with a happy heart.
Working as a fellow doctor in unfamiliar place with unfamiliar system and environment, every day, is surely hard. But, the less underrated hardship is not knowing what to do.
Routine is one of the most important things that contribute a lot to your sanity and happiness. Routine is something that even a baby should master from the beginning of his life.
No matter how hard is for the doctor and my daughter, they have a fixed schedule. The doctor and my daughter know what to do, where to go, in the morning, they have their own routine and more valid reason, he is being paid for it. So, it’s more of responsibility and something that should be done.
I had been doing many things before, earning my own money since I was the first years in college, chasing and checking my bucket lists, jumped from having so many things to do, living jobs I love, having enough money for my personal needs, taking care of things here and there a whole week, then suddenly having TOTALLY none, other than taking care Langit and the house. How insignificant would that feel?
One would never understand until (s)he’s wearing the same shoes.
As I always believe, no one should be responsible for your own happiness. Happiness is something that you should fight for and find within yourself. If you cant make it on your own, no one would and could ever make you happy.
Thus, as soon as everyone was settled with their own routines, I started finding mine. I have been joining an exercise class since I was 18. It’s one of my favorite routines. So, the first thing I did was registered in nearby exercise class. So far, I enjoy it a lot.
The next thing was looking for some works to do outside. I was looking, reading many things on the internet until I found something that suited me the most and, strangely, it feels satisfying. This one also deserves another post alone.
I also signed up for an exam and currently waiting for the result. Those before exam days were one of the most highly spiritful days. Having something to look forward to, having something that you want to achieve, I can’t imagine life without something that you want to strive for.
Another best thing living here is having enough time to do things that really matter the most. During these six months, I have spared and allocated my time and energy to teach Langit some new things and once again, I couldn’t believe, it feels so rewarding.
We’re learning new things together, doing it everyday, no excuse. In these few months, I have seen how daily habits done little by little, make so much difference. I could not say how grateful and proud I am of her.
I also have enough time to do things I love. Reading and traveling. Good library full of great books and good public transport allow me to enjoy the life in this city whole-heartedly. I have been reading much more books in these six months than I have in the last 10 years maybe.
Once a week, I set some new place to visit by trying new route through bus, underground, or overground within zone 2 oyster card. I love the walking around here and there in silence, watching people, seeing new things. I am grateful beyond words to be granted such chance to live in this city.
Guess that’s the general update for now.
May everyone stay safe and be protected from any harms as this year has been so rough from the beginning.
Just like Barney the dinosaur said, with modification,
Cause life is tough. And so are you.
Trips and Twists
This post was written almost a year ago before the Summer in Seoul trip. It was written right when I thought I found a happy ending. But, the bigger storm turned out coming right after this writing finished.
But, as many other previous storms, it finally ended and the one who stayed, finally stay, thankfully until now.
April, 2019.
I remember writing two posts about twist when I had my first Ilana Tan trip. I knew dream and twist are inseparable, but it turns out that trip and twist are coming together too. Escpecially when it’s trip abroad.
Twist is unavoidable, but as if it is not enough, most of the time, they came one by one like layered twists. One came, solved, then another came and so on. Until when? Until the very last minute. Judging from my social media posts, almost all the trip seems flawless. What people don’t know is what it takes until we ‘deserved’ such trips.
All these Ilana Tan trips also come with twists. Paris has been told in previous post. Spring in London was quite high tension because it was the time when the doctor had his very last national exam for residency. At that time, the exam date would be between 22-23 April, either he got Jakarta or Makassar. Our flight to London departed at 2 pm on 23rd April. While the rumour said because his base is in Jakarta then he would fly to Makassar.
It was one of those time when long and hard prayers were spelled in every breath. Prayed for the most possible exam date so he could go with us, as planned. As the date was getting closer yet without any official announcement, the heart was highly abused indeed. There were times when there felt like no hope. Once the news was out, it was either yes or no.
The result came just four days before departure. He got 22nd April in Jakarta afternoon session.
I felt so sorry and thankful for my heart that had been enduring such pain for weeks.
Tokyo was another long waiting for another announcement, once again, it was about the doctor stuff. It was about WKDS departure date and placement. We had been waiting for the news since January and it finally came out at the end of February. We were quite lucky that the date was safe enough for the trip. Compared to three other trips, Tokyo was the lightest one.
Now, Seoul. Getting permission from the doctor side is always nerve-wrecking but beside that, additional twists came too. Running a small bussiness is not easy but having a good team helps to reduce the headache a lot. For this past 1,5 months, I realize that every bussiness, especially the small one, depend a lot on its people.
It started when few months ago, the oldest team member that we treasured quite a lot said that he would resign by the following month. We usually didn’t hold anyone for resigning but this one we questioned him deeply whether he was sure about this. The answer was certain.
Then we started new recruitment process and decided to hire one person. It went smooth for the first week but then, the true character finally appeared. Tardy often, lots of excuses, the most unacceptable one, didn’t show up without any notice. For us who only hire two employees, each of them matters a lot. Losing one means disturbing the bussiness. Why dont we hire three? Cost.
In one day, looking for subtitute done. Luckily, the other candidate was still available and accepted the offer immediately. Repeating training process from zero was tiring and wasting time but there was nothing we could do. Getting one that was readily available was good enough.
Just two days after the new hire first day, his father passed away. So, we had to run with one again. Luckily, the other one who has been with us for a year is a reliable one. After the storm end, the one year person asked me if he could take a day off. It was arranged well with the new one that they would take turn. The senior got one day off on Monday, the new one got his on Saturday. Practically, everyone was having two and half days off. Win-win solution. The new hire was quite a fast learner too. So, another stormy period safely passed.
But, it was as if the Almighty up there said, “Do you really think it’s over? Come on, we still have time until your departure. Shall we have another one?”
You shall.
Two days before the senior days off, the new one texted that he needed to resign by Monday because he got another offer (better one of course), and his mother asked him to take it. It was Thursday evening and I had three days to find a replacement. At that time, I didn’t even have no words to say how pissed I was to that person. How the h*ll I could find a new employee in three days while the senior would also have his days off. I had no heart to cancel his trips. Meanwhile, my trip is only a week away.
Desperate and hopeless.
I refused to post any job ads online because it wouldn’t do us good to openly look for new hire within short time. The only option was to do close recruitment. Since we only had three days, I sent text to several people. Remember the oldest team who resigned? We contacted him first asked him to return. Why? Because, from our obsevation on his social media, he also had resigned from his new job. Survived his new job in less than a month. Kids nowadays.
After several text, he declined the offer. I was torn between relieved and dissapointed. Relieved because taking the old one means we are that desperate but it was the safest choice since we dont have to do any training anymore.
I decided to send texts to those who had contacted us before when they were asking for a job. Other than the old team, I also sent texts to few candidates from the last interview batch. Zero result.
That night felt too long.
The next Friday passed without any clear hopes. I couldn’t think any other way than waiting.
The pray answered in Saturday morning when I woke up and looked for my phone. An application letter arrived on the email. Neatly written and looked good. I replied the email immediately and it was so relieving that the boy replied instantly. A quick interview done, he started right away.
Two days after the senior returned from the trip, another hassle came. He got sick and should take another two days off. So, the new little boy had to go alone under my supervision.
That week was a hellish one. Juggling between this and that. Stayed late at store. Opening hour has been modified, doing whatever could be done to keep going.
The bright side, the new one is quite good at doing his main job and he is quite helpful. Eager to stay longer too. That means a lot for me. I hope this time, this one stays for a longer and proper time. Amin.
They said what doesn’t kill make you stronger. I know enough about that.
But, sometimes I just dont want to be strong and I’d rather just being safe. (Safe means no new plan for going places?)
Thats hard too.
Your choice, your battle.
