Since finishing The Defining Decade last year, one word has been playing inside my head.
One word that seems to make sense is to explain why people get what they want, achieve what they strive for, and what separates them from those who don’t.
In Ramadan, I know some people/businesses that close fully for the whole of Ramadan, finish the Quran and do many other things that I once wondered how they could do.
Among many words that could explain contributing factors to the cases above, first and foremost, it starts with one thing :
Intention. Those people above are all being intentional in the first place.
They know what they want to do and achieve; they know Ramadan is coming, so they’re intentionally preparing for it.
When we are intentional, we choose to make decisions and take action on what’s important to us. Being intentional means getting clear and upfront about what you want to achieve. We intentionally set an intention to achieve a specific outcome or result in the future that is important to us.
Setting goals without the proper intention won’t take us far and long. That explains why many New Year resolutions fail, diet regimes lasts for a while, and many more. When we only hav goals, we only play for a short term. But, when we’re being intentional, we’ll keep playing no matter what.
It also makes sense why In Islam our reward is only as good as our intention. It emphasizes being intentional is the foundation of all the deeds that we do.
Our Ramadan and our life in general, here in this dunya, and later in the hereafter, is only as good as our intention.
For up to 10 days, there’s a single line that I repeat to either my daughter or her father whenever we’re out : “Why is it so empty and quiet?”
This Ramadan is unusually quiet and less crowded than before. In a regular pattern of numerous past Ramadans, in the morning, the traffic would be getting crowded, like really crowded, around 7 to 9 am. But, the trip to school for the past 10 days has been the most enjoyable. I cursed less than before, apart from refraining due to fasting.
That’s weekdays. I was driving thrice last Saturday. In the morning, it was empty. Okay, it’s normal for Saturday morning roads in Ramadan to be empty. I went out the second time at 11 a.m. for swimming practice. It was still empty, slightly. It only took 10 minutes to go to the pool. What’s more unusual, it took around 10 minutes to go home from the pool, which normally takes at least 20-30 minutes.
Then, we went out again around 2 p.m. for a therapy session. I overslept and thought we would be late for 2:30 p.m. We left at 2.10 p.m. and arrived leisurely at 2.27 p.m.
The most weirdest thing of all, when we went home around 4 pm, the traffic was as leisure as the departure. Slightly more crowded, but that was not the typical Saturday traffic in Ramadan, at the beginning of month.
Saturday in Ramadan has always been the time when people go out to have an iftar gathering. Usually, we need to go out and book a table as early as 4 pm and the traffic has always been crazy.
Yet last Saturday, there was close to zero traffic. The traffic has never been this good, yet I felt so bad.
Another regular I don’t see much this Ramadan is a blewah and timun suri ( cantaloupe and a kind of cucumber fruit only available in Ramadan) seller. They are a significant component of the Ramadan vibe around the town. Usually, a few days before Ramadan starts, we can see both fruits everywhere.
This Ramadan, I hardly see any.
I went to a traditional market today, which was as quiet and empty as possible.
Ramadan is the most festive season of the year, but it feels like we have a silent Ramadan this year. Unlike in 2020, when it was tense due to COVID-19, this year it feels more unlively and, say, a bit depressing and gloomy.
The country’s current situation is undoubtedly not at its best.
Entering this new decade makes me wonder more than usual.
Questions about many things that have passed and even more questions about what lies ahead.
Entering my 20s with high spirits, fully optimistic, and the assurance that the future will be bright. Holding tight to my three big dreams ready to fight whatever battle to achieve them.
Entering my 30s, I was exhausted, anxious and defeated after all the lessons taught during my 20s. Especially in the last years of the 20s. But, during the 30s, I arrived at many peaks that I didn’t even imagine I would climb in the previous decade. If the first five years were bleak, then the last five years of the 30s were full of adventures that make life more enjoyable. This is also the period where I feel like I have had everything I need and want.
Don’t get me wrong, I still have many that I haven’t got and still want to get, I have a lot of plans about my daughter and with the doctor, but basically, I get everything covered for myself right now.
Explained in Maslow’s pyramid, up until the fourth stage, I feel like I have had enough for now.
I found a very good writing about the fifth on the Top (I added this one day after this writing was published and it is once again confirmed, the right book/articles/reading always comes at the right time. This is one of the best substacks on my inbox)
Being grateful and knowing what’s enough is undoubtedly good. But I found another angle that I didn’t think I would use.
Entering 40 with all the blessings turns out to be confusing. I am beyond grateful, but, I can’t believe I tell myself the same line that often played inside my head when I was exhausted, burned out, and tired in my early 30s, “shouldn’t be more life than this?”.
Human is truly a complex creature.
I didn’t really remember about having a quarter life crisis. Having three fixated big dreams played important role on this. It gave me fuel to keep running and somehow those were feel like reasons for living.
I read a lot about midlife crisis. Maybe this is a small part of it. Or maybe not. Maybe this is just my mind playing tricks on me which means I need to be busier doing more life than just reading or staring at the screen.
I also read more about this from the Islamic point of view. It opened a few perspectives that I think I haven’t considered previously. During one of the text conversations with the doctor, I once said that I felt like we were entering a new season. Not massive drastic changes, but little things that are shifting slowly. I hope it’s for the better. Amin.
I also conclude that specific adventures are (only) best enjoyed in particular decades. As decades change, we tend to change too, and “the ship has sailed” rings true for a few things (that matter) in life. Time is indeed the only currency that we couldn’t grow back no matter how hard we try.
There are times when I wish someone could tell me this. How life feels like in the 40s, 50s, and so on based on their own experiences. I think we need more wisdom from our own parents and elders while they are still around. What certain in life, it never goes backwards, so listening to those who have been through more than us could be helpful in some ways.
Or maybe, there should be more people of their 40s who share their own thoughts about this. Not the psychological type article or items in bullets with “40 things I wish to know before 40” on the title page, but the real situation and problems they deal with inside out.
What soothes me a bit, judging from past experiences, is that during the period of confusion, by pattern, I’ll keep looking ahead to find some answers, and that is a good thing.
One of them is to finally write this for public and press the publish button.
Welcoming Ramadan with excitement is one thing that haven’t been changed since many years ago. Growing up, Ramadan (not Eid) is the most festive time of the year and I saw how my mom took it really seriously, especially in creating the ambience for Ramadan, the massive cleaning, the meal prep, done at least two months before.
I once thought what’s with the fuss. Should fasting make things simpler? But slowly I realized, all those advance preparations before Ramadan is to make most of the Ramadan to the fullest. Especially when you had to take care a family of five.
The preparations done months before Ramadan allows you to focus on what’s important during Ramadan because you have taken care those stuff that are related to fasting and make it easier and less hassle.
Of course this is not compulsory, but, it’s totally different feeling to pray, to learn when you intentionally set the ambience and the environment to support the rituals. Clean house, fresh bedsheets, praying set, and towels, the special decoration, the specific scent of Ramadan around the home, all the best efforts to welcome the most precious guest of the year.
I might be forty, but, the certain scent of Ramadan at home is still stuck on my mind.
Personally, Ramadan has been an annually precious guest whose presence are always welcomed wholeheartedly and it makes me happy that I always take it seriously.
This year Ramadan mood at home
Ramadan Mubarak for those who observe the Holy Month!
The popular term that has been around is called “Post Umrah Depression”, but, personally, I prefer to call it the void.
Rather than depression, which sounds too much, void seems to be a more suitable word for the feeling.
That feeling of constantly missing something that can’t be described. The ambience, the struggle, or the excitement of preparing for the Umrah. I missed them all.
The two months of arranging, researching, and making endless inquiries for the Umrah trip were one of the most exciting periods, which had been missing for a while. I always loved travel planning, but the level of excitement for this Umrah was very much above average compared to any previous trips.
On social media, I was constantly torn between resuming my typical content consumption to ‘returning to’ the typical day mood and craving any footage of Haram.
To return there quickly is not the solution. Four times going there, I understand that real work is not when we are in the most peaceful place on earth. It’s when we return home. It’s how we bring all the virtues we have there to our real life here, and that’s not easy. I found myself releasing some heavy breathing occasionally.
There should be an explanation how to deal with it and how long this will last.
The initial schedule was arriving in Madina around 9.30 morning, but then, six hours delay made us has to deal with 10 hours of layover and arrived at 21.30.
A flight with 100% punctuality and no delay history, yet, it delayed for 6 hours, ONLY on the day we departed. Instead of arrived early as planned, we had 10 hours of layover in the airport, wasted and doing nothing. Even the transit hotel plan missed us.
Half of the day was abruptly taken by unexpected event, half of them was more for Umra preparation, it left us with a full day in Madina. but Allah made this brief time spent in Madinah sufficient for all things that the heart yearned.
Arrived in Madina exhausted and unfocused. Alhamdulilah we chose the right hotel after changed it for few times. At least, something was right.
Nabawi has always been tranquil and beautiful. I only had few main itineraries in Madina other than regular pray in Nabawi. Visiting Quba, Raudah, and Rasulullah Biography museum.
Entering Raudah now needs some permit and it is quite hard to obtain. It seemed too good to be true until it turned out happening on the last minute. Even how smooth the visit was left me speechless.
It reminds me of one of Rasulullah SAW saying : “What has reached you was never meant to miss you and what has missed you was never meant to reach you”.
In this Umrah trip, we experienced both.
Umrah bound to Makkah using Haramain train and the Umrah process itself Alhamdulilah went smoothly.
The real struggle was when dealing with the bucket list.
In few previous umrah and Hajj, pray in the ground floor with Kabah view was a regular thing to have. Doing daily Tawaf on the ground floor is easily reachable. Returned to Haram afrer 13 years, it’s totally different situation to deal with.
It tortures me to certain degree on this trip until I spent almost 30.000 STEPS just to execute what has been fixated on my mind which becomes one of the bucket lists in this trip.
Constructions are all over the places and many access blocked. You can’t just enter from any gates to have what I want to have. More blocked access for woman too. Beside that, maybe as it’s getting closer to Ramadan, it’s been quite crowded.
I spent the whole first morning trying to figure out this, then continue the quest between zuhur and asr. Couldn’t stand the thought of coming here from thousand miles away just to accept things at it is without any proper fights.
Hajj was crowded and I even managed to do this for every prayer time I did in mosque, not easily of course. The voice inside kept saying, « Haji aja bisa masa umroh ngga ». Such thought can be poisonous, but I’d rather consider it as fuel.
When I finally figured it out, then I understood that I couldn’t have everything due to current situation and had to compromise a bit.
Such understanding can only be accepted knowing I have done the best possible thing through these thirty thousand steps.
Knowing what you want is indeed a blessing and a curse.
Umrah with Kid
I have been sounding several times to my travel members that we would plan for an Umrah trip once my daughter reached akil baligh age. The time when she’s considered an adult in Islam.
But then, plans changed, the calling for Umrah came faster and after a long search, the only way forward was to execute the plan.
I have told her many times that Umrah trip is totally different with any other trips that we have been through. It will be tough, it will be harder, and it won’t be a trip to the park and playground.
She once again, showed her maturity beyond her age in traveling. Dealing with long hours of layover, anxious and exhausted parents without any complaints which is the total opposite of her mother. I wish I could be as easy going as she is, a little bit.
As she has survived any kind of walks and hike, from beach to mountain, she endured all the walk and hike in this Umrah trip.
Taking children for Umrah for the first time, I learned that we should really set a realistic expectation for them and for us. Certain standard that allows them to enjoy their experience without compromising the parents standard of ibadah. We have gone far for that, after all.
So, what I did was in Madinah, we went all the way for five times prayer since the hotel is nearby and it was manageable.
While in Mecca, she only went for five times prayer in Zuhur, Maghrib and Isya altogther. Tahajud and subuh only for parents, and she just woke up once adzan subuh heard. Even her parents were leaving and doing their own thing separately.
Zuhur was at the mosque while Asr she stayed at home to have some early dinner to prepare Maghrib and Isya together at the mosque. Providing books during the waiting between Maghrib ane Isya worked well for her.
The only city tour I wanted for this trip only for museums and looked like it suits her well.
I hope this trip brings her joy, more experience and excitement as a moslem, and may Allah always guard her in every step of the way. Amin.
Epilogue
A trip (especially) to Holy Lands has always been about my meticulous plan and the reality that reminded me (especially) again and again the He is The One Who Decided all the results.
I often wonder should I be less invested in things so the expectation would be somehow not makes you devastated when things don’t go according to the plan?
I know all the theory.But, during turbulence it’s often hard to think clearly and stop the what ifs. I think this is the price of being quite opinionated and determined (In bahasa : sok tau and banyak mau).
His bounties are more than we deserve, but, the way it reaches us, I still need more training to get used to the suprise.
This trip is personally challenging. It is emotionally exhausting, dealing with the unexpected long delay, the crowd five times a day, yet it is also exceptionally rewarding.
To have all my bucket list ticked with certain degree of struggle, to witness all the little help from Allah through the strangers we met, to enjoy the trip at our own pace, the best duration of the trip, surviving a long delay, completing Umrah together, again, Alhamdulilah is an understatement.
I saw that the doctor somehow also enjoyed it in his own way. Hopefully, he also found what he’s looking for other than all the surpsingly good speciality coffee in these two holy cities. We also had a young smart mutowwif as a company and the discussion has been really interesting.
Despite the struggle and the crowd, I love Makkah more than Madinah. I love how quiet it is in spite of the loudness. I love how diverse it is. Madinah is literally tranquil, but Makkah has some level of peacefulness that Madinah couldn’t have.
In the end, May Allah receive all the worship, grant all the prayers, and give us many more chances to return to these blessed places. Amin.
Based on few experiences visiting the Holy Lands for Umra, Hajj in 2012 was one of my best experiences. Hajj is one with the crowd,super massive crowds, but it was when I experienced how peaceful solo travel among the crowd was.
I went with my late mum, but since she was not in good health, I basically wondered around Mecca alone. Not to say, I needed to take bus twice to go from our Maktab to Haram. Sometimes I needed to walk since the bus was full. Looking back, I realized how crazy was that. The best moment of life most of the time not the happiest one, but the hardest one.
Three times here, I had quite few experiences of any kind of Umrah. Ramadan, Private, one with really great service staying in the best hotels, and the government service.
I realized that I only enjoyed the time inside the mosque, the session of sitting and staring in front of Kabah, groceries in Bin Dawood, and bookstore hopping in Hilton. I didn’t really enjoy following the schedules set with so many people, going here and there. I don’t really like small talk which most people love. I don’t like uniforms. I don’t like people telling me what to do and what to wear, unless it’s mandatory.
At that time, the internet wasn’t like it is today. Only Yahoo Messenger and sms worked. Close to no distractions like what we have today.
After COVID-19, Umrah has changed a lot. Now, we can arrange our trips according to our preferences and pace.
After registering for Hajj together three years ago, the desire for Umroh grew. Umrah is part of the family long term plan. Since many years ago, the when is well-described but the exact time is a total mystery.
In spite of the uncertainty, For the past two years, I have sent inquiries to countless travel providers, sending them my terms and conditions and itineraries, and close to none have returned the message. It’s uncommon, but it’s doable if someone is willing to help.
Sometimes, I wondered whether we should just sign up for services that offered the best value and were closer to what I wanted. This is what happens if you have goals without a clear time frame. You even confuse with your own plan.
What I am certain, I want to arrange it personally. Our travelling habits over the past nine years have also influenced our decisions.
Four significant things that I wanted to decide on my own were:
Time
Duration
The flights
The Hotels
On the other hands, I want to outsource few things for which I lack the capacity, little knowledge and capabilities to handle independently.
This is Langit Senja’s first Umra experience and her father and I return after 13 and 22 years. There must be a lot that we don’t understand. No matter how much I read, with few experiences, we need proper guidance from a knowledgeable person to perform the Umrah based on Sunnah and Syariah.
I also don’t want to deal with handling and transportation during the stay.
It was a long, on-and-off search with no result until the green light appeared last year once we set the exact dates we planned to go.
Finally, one service gave me exact numbers for my travel conditions. It was precisely the kind of service I was looking for. They let the customers customise everything, and they will chip in to provide what we need. For our kind of trip, we pay for what they call LAND ARRANGEMENT (LA).
What’s included on the service it depends on the travel or the customers and price will follow. Certain travels have already specific package so you just have to choose.
This kind of umrah is what we call semi-mandiri. We have heard many Mandiri ones, but this one combines Mandiri and private ones.
My experience arranging this trip made me understand why going with a travel service is sensible and more convenient, especially for a first-timer. It’s risky if one does it without proper knowledge and experience and doesn’t have the time and energy to do all the thinking and searching.
Since I am moderately jobless with a certain level of experience, so let’s just try this. Alhamdulillah the doctor has been really supportive (or permissive?) to let me entertain any of my ideas. He’s the best for that.
Only two possibilities for trying new things: winning or learning.
Much of the content about Umrah Mandiri is solely focused on the spill budget and low cost. But, based on what I have been through, there are many things beyond the amount of money paid that cost you other (more important) things than money that we should consider. Umroh is significantly different from any other trips I have ever planned in many aspects.
Umroh Mandiri is not necessarily cheaper, but we only pay what we want to spend, be it money or other intangible costs. We all must wish for the best services with the best price we are willing to pay for such travel conditions.
While arranging the trip, I learned a lot about Umrah 101, what makes the process different, which kind of service is worth trusting your Umrah experience with, what the most significant cost of Umrah is, and how we can customise the trip according to personal and general preferences.
This is when things get complicated. Endlessly torn between “not because you can, then you should” or “What are your priorities, girl?”.
But the good side is that now everyone can go (very similar to the tagline of an LCC, which will take you to Madinah with the price of the current minimum basic income). The options are widely available, and it’s doable.
Other than that, Umrah, like any other ritual, should be done with proper knowledge and understanding. So, arranging a manasik mandiri is also part of my plan. We have been doing it three times since last December and have provided some books for the little girl.
Ultimately, whatever means we use to visit Baitullah is not as crucial as our true intention. For me, more than sticking to the budget set, this is the hardest one to keep on track.
This writing saved way before the departure, not knowing how the trip would turn out.
Safar has always been a platform to test your level of tawakal.
There’s a little thing that amazes me when I look at the pattern of how every time this thing comes.
I recognize one thing since my early 20s that my period is rarely on time, but it always comes at the right time. It always comes right when I need it the most.
It doesn’t happen once or twice. It happens so many times until I could recognize the pattern.
The first time I recognized that it always comes at the right time was when I first went abroad with few of my dad colleagues to Singapore. It turned out that praying time wasn’t in their schedule. I remembered that I hadn’t had my period for almost two months.
Then, suddenly, it just came the night before the departure of the trip. I was quite surprised and didn’t prepare for that. I also wasn’t really fond of having period during traveling. But, after knowing I turned out to travel with a group of people who didn’t really include praying time in the itinerary, I thought “what a perfect timing” and felt so grateful for that.
After that, several situations happened that made me realize the pattern of my period that is rarely on time but very much often comes at the right time.
Another memorable one was after pregnancy and giving birth. After around 1,5 years without having period, it suddenly came when I was really exhausted of feeding and teaching eating while it was Ramadan, juggling with many other responsibilities until it didn’t feel like Ramadan anymore. On the peak of my exhaustion, it suddenly came to give me a break for a while.
It wasn’t only the big thing. It goes down to the smallest details. Last September, I had to accompany the little girl to one of the playdates and it might take quite long. I worried that the location was too far for me to go back and forth, and worried about I might have two prayer times outside. Again, I supposed to have my period a week before, but it didn’t happen. On the morning of the play date, it happened.
Last December, I had to drive quite far to the north to do some tests for the little girl. It was scheduled on Thursday, which means it was a fasting day too. Fasting is not a problem, but driving far while fasting and uncertainty of where we would pray was not really up to my liking. Thursday is the schedule of our weekly Quran night too. So, it would be quite tough.
The period had been coming at the same date since September, October, November. But then, in December, it passed the usual date. Five days after the usual schedule, on the night before the test date, it came.
I could imagine my relief breathing while writing this.
I have many many more to write. But, here is one last example.
Every beginning of the month, I will write everyone’s schedule on the board in the kitchen. The doctor’s shift schedule, the little girl’s classes and my fasting schedule along with the iftar and sahoor time. The parents have a routine that whenever the doctor has an afternoon shift, we will send the little girl to the school and proceed to have brunch after that. It is one of the most anticipated monthly events.
Last week I realized that the afternoon shift would be during the date of ayamul bidh fasting (three days white moon fasting). This January, I expected to have the period on the same date as last month, which is three days before the brunch schedule. So, if it happens on the expected date, there wouldn’t be any problems since I won’t be fasting. I even already decided the place for brunch.
But again, it didn’t happen on the expected date. Not on the following day, not the day after the following day. I became anxious because I didn’t really feel good about dropping fasting for brunch, yet, in the other hand, the promise was made too. Although it’s hard, I know which side to take if the period still hasn’t come. Kept sending tiny whisper asking for help so I didn’t have to choose between doing my regular fasting and keeping the promise.
I woke up as usual around 3 am on the date of the brunch and fasting, then it came.
Just like that.
I remember a line that I wrote on the day we moved back from London to Jakarta. Heavily anxious about the situation at that time, with the peak of Covid and many uncertainties ahead of us.
“The decision to return is about putting the utmost trust to the One who decides all affairs. Allah has been taking great care of us everywhere. To the smallest detail. He will do the same, no matter what situation we have to deal with, no matter where we are anywhere in this world”.
That was one of the most powerful lines I have ever written wholeheartedly during one of highest levels of my anxiety.
A simple line that has been proven through thick and thin, high and low, and any seasons of life, after all the best efforts have been done.
Draft ini sudah tersimpan selama lebih dari empat tahun. Saat itusemua masih kabur dan kalut. Saya tulis panjang lebar karena saya ngga mau lupa apapun yang saya baca dan rasakan saat itu.
Anak saya memiliki kondisi yang dinamakan Hiperleksia.
Hiperleksia adalah kondisi yang cukup langka dan tidak sepopuler kawannya, dyslexia.
Hyperlexiais a syndrome characterized by an intense fascination with letters or numbers and an advanced reading ability.
Children who havehyperlexiaread at levels far beyond what is expected at their age“.
Hiperleksia adalah sebuah kondisi dimana seorang anak memiliki kemampuan membaca di atas usianya dan ini terjadi sebelum usia 5 tahun. Kata kuncinya adalah : self-taught.
Bisa membaca TANPA pengajaran.
Namun, kemampuan ini tidak diikuti oleh kemampuan MEMAHAMI bacaan yang setara dan kemampuan berbicara yang sesuai dengan usianya.
Dari gambar di atas terlihat jelas bagaimana Hiperleksia ada di sebrang dyslexia. Kebalikan dari anak dyslexia, anak dengan hiperleksia memiliki pengenalan word/symbol yang baik namun pemahaman yang kurang.
Salah satu akun advokasi hiperleksia @andnextcomesl yang saya ikuti menjelaskan dengan baik tentang hiperleksia di bawah ini
Butuh waktu beberapa lama untuk memproses semua ini dan tiba-tiba semua kejadian-kejadian yang sudah lalu menjadi masuk akal :
– Tiba-tiba bisa baca sebelum ulang tahun ke empat. Baca ya, bukan mengeja.
– Baca kamus bergambar berulang-ulang dan menghafal semua isinya
-Melihat benda dan menyambungkannya ke bentuk huruf. Ex : Mommy, it’s a …, it looks like A/B/C, etc.
– Cepat membaca not balok dan huruf arab.
– tanpa pernah diajari, tiba-tiba hafal perkalian.
– Menghafal nama bus dan jurusannya ketika di London, bahkan ketika hanya pernah naik sekali atau pun yang bahkan di luar daerah tempat tinggal kami.
Seperti Dyan @andnextcomesl, salah satu pertanyaan besar saya sejak bertahun-tahun lalu :
Ini jawabannya :
Saya menghabiskan satu hari membaca semua post dari akun ini dengan perasaan campur aduk. Rasanya seperti waktu pertama kali berdiri di depan papan DLD di Alfred Salter 6 tahun lalu.
Menemukan (sekali lagi) apa yang saya cari. Tapi kali ini, semua terasa pas dan benar.
Hiperleksia bukan diagnosis yang berdiri sendiri. Dia bisa bergabung dengan kondisi lain seperti ASD, ADHD atau SPD.
Ada 3 kategori hiperleksia :
Secara kasat mata, anak saya bisa berada antara hiperleksia tipe 2 atau tipe 3. Tipe 3 ini adalah hyperlexia dengan autistic trait namun bukan autistic. Ini yang memerlukan tes objektif lebih lanjut.
(Tarik nafas, lap keringet dan air mata).
Apa level anak saya saat ini? (Konteks : 4 tahun lalu)
Anak saya berkomunikasi sehari-hari dengan baik. Bahkan ‘terlalu baik’ jika memang ada kondisi lain selain hiperlexianya. Sangat suka matematika. Sangat suka bermain make-up, baru-baru ini lumayan bisa main skateboard.
Tapi jelas memerlukan terapi wicara yang terstruktur. Jadi bukan buat belajar bicara atau memperbaiki bicaranya, tapi untuk melatih pemahamannya terhadap bacaan.
Sebenarnya, membaca sudah jadi rutin harian sejak bayi. Tahun lalu lockdown di London, sekolahnya memberikan apps membaca dan matematika gratis buat orangtua (Epic! dan Numbots) . Sampai saat ini kami masih menggunakan keduanya. Setiap hari. Jatah Epic! gratis dalam seminggu adalah 2 jam. Idealnya sehari 20 menit, tapi seringnya dia membaca dua kali lebih lama sehingga kadang 2 jam sudah habis sebelum seminggu.
Ada pilihan Epic! unlimited yang kami akan berikan. Langgannya per bulan sekitar 130 ribu. Kalau bayar sekaligus setahun terakhir kali cek sekitar 1 juta. Aplikasi ini bagus sekali. Pilihan bukunya beragam dan menarik.
Di apps Epic! ini, pada sebagian besar bukunya, di bagian akhir terdapat quiz antara 5-8 pertanyaan pilihan ganda untuk melihat pemahaman anak terhadap buku yang baru dibaca. Anak saya cukup bisa menjawab hampir semua pertanyaannya.
Sedikit contoh :
Skor rata-rata quiznya berkisar antara 80-100%. Jadi, pada umumnya, dia paham apa yang dibaca.
Bagian yang memerlukan support lebih baik adalah bagaimana menjawab secara verbal atau menjawab tanpa pilihan. Selain itu juga, perlu banyak berlatih bagaimana memahami kalimat implisit. Salah satu ciri spesifik dari anak hiperleksia ini adalah mereka memahami kata secara literal.
Kira-kira seperti itu gambarannya.
Di satu sisi, saya bersyukur sekali kembali dipertemukan dengan apa yang selalu dicari. Penting sekali buat benar-benar mengerti untuk bisa menerima dan melanjutkan ‘perjalanan’.
Di sisi lain, ngga peduli sudah menghadapi ini bertahun-tahun, ini ngga mengurangi kegelisahan dan pernyataan, dalam tahap apapun, ini tidak (pernah) mudah.
Tapi, mengutip kata-kata dr. Mustafa dan dr. Sally di post ini cukup memberi sedikit penghiburan :
“She’ll be ok”.
“Every child will find their way. Something that we worry too much now could be irrelevant in the future”.
Semoga.
Kata Marthin Luther King Jr :
“We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope”.
Betul. Tanpa harapan, kami ngga akan pernah sampai ‘di sini’. Harapan yang bawa sampai sejauh ini dan saya percaya, akan lebih jauh lagi.
Akhirnya, dari saya setelah semua yang telah dilewati dan akan dilalui :
A Penny for My Pensieve 