It’s been quite some time I have been thinking about some matters related to the baby class we’re currently joined in. Since it’s not a review, I wouldn’t spell the name.
This class is where the parents are also participating in the class. The facilitators are child psychologists that help you to explain the activities and then they give the job for every family to do it. It is just once a week class for an hour, on weekend. It should be good one at our first expectation.
After two terms joining this class, we realize something about Langit. She is the type who can’t and actually won’t join any activities that don’t give her enough interest.While the other kids are sitting with their parents doing the activites that have been assigned to them, she makes us busy chasing her here and there. Last term, she was really interested in little broomstick around the corner. So, everytime we come to the class, she went to the back of the corner and took the broomstick.
It was surely beyond our expectation knowing our little girl is this type of student. But, worse part about this one, it is enough to make one of the so-called psychologist doesn’t (really) favour her until at the point of ‘leaving’ her behind. I realized this thing after few first weeks of the class but didn’t talk any of it to anyone. The only thing for sure, whenever Sunday came, I felt something hard on my chest,even harder when le husband is not around.
The bell rang when one day le husband threw one sentence told me that certain facilitator didn’t really like her. Ouch, it’s stung and hurt, knowing even le husband who was occasionally absent realized it too. Then, it was pretty obvious, wasn’t it?
As I was being a teacher myself twice in a school, I know this type of student is surely not teacher’s favorite. But then, it was a huge heart-breaking when this type of student is your own child. This class is not only excluding the baby, but also make us feel like an outcast parents. The judgmental look was there and said it all.
However, joining this class also gives something good for us. It’s eye opener and mind-enlighting. We become knowing our baby better and what kind of things we should improve as parents.
Long before, I know Langit is absolutely an introverted-child. She likes being with herself and doesn’t really fond of others, especially strangers’ presence. She doesn’t like to be touched by others too. Even when she and me of are being in the same room, she can play by herself.
She is an observer. She’s not the type who learn things obviously doing trial and error in front of people. She will observe first and then doing it without others knowing. Like going up and down through the stairs all by herself safely, for instance. While most of other children around her age still need assistance and guidance when they’re climbing stairs, Langit has been doing it all alone for some time and it has been okay, Alhamdulillah. Others may say I am careless. But, before that, they just have to witness how the baby is doing it.
In the future, it’s our homework to help her make things work when she should have to be in other circle but home. Being introverted is not something you should ask everyone to understand.
It’s okay to be an observer, but there will come the time when she has to sit, listen and do what she has been assigned. It’s okay if she’s not interested in something, but there are still rules that she has to obey, whether she likes it or not. It’s okay to enjoy herself alone, but there are things that she can only achieve better when she is doing it with other people.
Knowing there are some people who don’t really fond of your cute little daughter exist is surely on another level of heart-breaking. I believe, she will even have to face this kind of people alone later.
It’s not our job to make everyone love her because she is being what she is. But, it’s our job to prevent he to be intentionally unlikeable because of what she does to others and how to deal with this kind of things. She will later learn and understand these kind of people are present to give her lesson and toughen her. She just have to use her brain and heart to overcome this.
It seems that looking for a formal school in the next few years should be carefully selected from now. At least, having teachers who have the least willing to understand every students differences would be a great help to us as parents and the baby herself. How I wish to meet a teacher like the one in this article.
Well, it’s Monday though. Let’s start working (on our problems) now.
Bon Lundi!
Every family, every house have some cultures other than their origin which influence the members, either in the way they live, think, or do things.
In my initial family, it was french. We were exposed by lots of french things since we were kids. My late mom was once a french teacher in previously CCF, now IFI. She also had been teaching in other places like the embassy, schools, or the oil company.
My mom and my dad was a high school friends and they met once again in my mom’s workplace when my dad was learning there for his scholarship. For this part, it is pretty similar with my own story with le husband. Then, my existence also started because of something french.
Some converasations in french were often carried out in the house so it can’t be helped for us to understand some vocabularies in the language. Among us three, I have been the one who is always eager to learn languange. After spent two months in Manchester, I started learning English by myself. Reading and dictionary checking became new exciting routine for this 4th grader.
Started my french lesson for the first time while I was grade six. The teacher of course was the in-house one. But, unfortunately, having your own mom being the teacher didn’t guarantee that you would be fluent in an instant. In fact, some lessons were often cancelled due her personal excuses like fatigue or something more important needed to be attended. It was surely quite dissapointing. But, it didn’t stop me from learning. I love reading and the books about french were everywhere in the house. The big and small dictionaries were also available. So, whenever I would like to learn I just chose one simple reading.
I had a chance to learn french properly after I graduated from college. Signed up for a class at CCF and thanks to my mother, I learnt there for free. I studied for 2,5 years and I really enjoyed it.
Having lots of knowledge and exposed by all things about this surely made me drool a lot to visit the country. Actually, when we went to England, France and Benelux (Belgia, Netherland, Luxembourg) visas were already stamped in our passport. Unfortunately, we got chicken pox. So, the only one who went to Paris was, no one other than the french teacher.
If I am not mistaken, throughout her life, my mother had been to France for four times. She went once before she was married and thrice after. She went in 1982, 1994, 1996, and 2011.
The one in 2011 was a bit special. CCF regularly sent their employée for a month training in one of cities in France. Usually, it’s not the big city one but more to small city like Grenoble, Nantes, or Lille. My mom was chosen to go in 2010 but they had condition she had to wear off her veil. She refused.
A year later, she was chosen once more. They said she really had to go this time and she could keep wearing her veil. It was quite funny as if it chased her persistently. I was dying to join her but it was not impossible. She was so lucky even there were lots of teacher there, twice in two years in a row, she was offered such chance.
I loved the french class a lot. Really enjoyed learning there eventough the class was 7-9 pm after work, but it felt like a stress reliever for me. Like piano, which I didn’t do it because I loved it, this one also I missed the class rarely to never. What made it more enjoyable was because I was above the other students thanks to the teacher at home, hehe.
Other than the language, french cuisines were also something we enjoy at home. My mom, unlike her daughter, was a terribly great cook. One of the best french dishes she made was the quiche lorraine. It was so much better than any cafes have. We also enjoyed lots of french products like the jam, cheese, bread, cakes. The last time she went there, half of souvenirs she brought were all about food like I wrote here.
Learning its language, eating its food, reading a lot about it, even once went to its independence celebration in Jakarta have made the desire for visiting this country becomes a constant stomach ache for me. I desperately want to go there. In my 20’s, I regularly bought USD for me to go there. Few times I planned to go but it seemed out of my reach. Among my three biggest dream before marriage, only this one wasn’t fulfilled. I did the other two : master degree abroad and Hajj.
After marriage, this one keeps haunting me until today. I won’t be able to sleep comfortably for a long time if I don’t keep trying for this. I have told my husband once he finishes his study, I really want to go, alone or together.
I know I will be there one day, by all means possible. I will have my pictures taken in front of La Tour Eiffel, sitting by Le Seine watching sunset, eating ice cream at Jardin du Luxembourg, strolling around in Champ Elysses, admiring Le Palace du Versailles, Musée du Louvre,and Le Cathedral de Notredame, enjoying le soir at une cafe in a little Paris street. I will speak french in its origin country. There will come the day when I will be living like a true Parisienne for few days.
Like I have always been believe, God knows but He waits for the right time. He has been fufilled all my dreams for these 30 years. There’s no way He won’t for this one as long as I keep going for it. My turn will come, someday. Amin.
Woohoo! It’s just another four months to go to the complete two years of breastfeeding. When people said time flies so fast, I would say that years were surely fast, but I live it by days. Days are long.
The twenty months have been like a roller coaster ride. What To Expect The First Year has given a head up that there’s no job which more physically and emotionally taxing than parenting in the first year. Then, for the second year, I would like to add intelligently challenging after both aspect.
Her abilities in many things have been improving significantly, including in speaking. Words start coming one by one clearly. She is getting better at expressing her feeling through some actions like crying, nagging, or any kind of actions that amuse us.
Feeding has been easier and more flexible according to my standard. Currently, we have less rituals. Breakfast, lunch, and early dinner still go as usual. Snacking becomes optional. Sometimes she has it, sometimes not. And that is okay, as long as the three meals done properly. She is totally into a proper portion of meal. Rice and its companions are the key to the peaceful day and night.
She has less sleep during the day, but I don’t mind. Because by 7-7.30 pm she has gone to bed and sleep tightly until morning. During the day, when I am too tired to watch her, I just let her play alone while I am having a quick nap.
She also starts imitating several things that she sees from us like doing some praying movements, watching herself in front of mirror while wearing a hijab, putting some things to her ear as if she talks on the phone, sweeping and mopping the floor and other things. Toddler can be this amusing minus the nagging.
Things that I constantly do also have started showing its result. Like some of daily habits that I teach her for months, she starts doing it automatically. I couldn’t be more proud of her.
Then, Happy 20th, Langit Senja! Keep healthy, happy, and funny like you always be, dear. I love youu!
My mother was one the most visioner person I have ever known. Her thoughts were mostly beyond what others could see. Most of the time, everything that she said in present time, likely to be true in the future.
She liked to keep things that she thought will be useful in the future. Not a short term one but a very long time in the future. Thanks to her, I saved a lot of money from buying some important baby stuffs. These are not only something small like clothes or sheets, but things that you couldn’t buy at the same quality even if you do have the money to buy it. These things have been kept for years neatly and nicely.
The crib has been here for more than 30 years. Me and my siblings have our pictures taken inside this crib. Not only us, some of our cousins used this crib too. Langit is lucky enough to be the first grandchild in the family so she has the chance to sleep in this legendary bed.
This rattan play yard was bought when my cousin was born 10 years ago. My mum bought it with the thought her daughters would surely need this once they had babies themselves. See, she was rarely wrong. Langit enjoys being inside this box a lot. It will soon being moved to my little sister’s house since she needs it more than us when her second child is coming.
Well, this one is freshly built this afternoon. After my sister texted that she would take the rattan box by next week, I keep thinking the replacement of that box. Although it is no longer urgent to keep Langit inside a box, I like the idea of keeping her personal space where she can play and rest, both upstairs and downstairs.
I keep searching any alternatives to replace the box and thinking of buying the second one. But, most of those were above my budget. I don’t eager to spend on something that is not really urgent.
Then, the idea came. Instead of play yard or similar thing, I thought about a baby pool. A large one. But again, it’s quite weird putting a pool inside the house. It doesn’t look good for me. Until I remembered about this tent.
It has been here for 26 years. It was bought in 1994 when we stayed in Manchester for two months. We used to play it often when we were young. We really loved it. It wasn’t big so we had fights deciding who would sleep inside the tent.
The good old memories were flooding inside my mind while me and le husband built this one together. It gives warmth remembering the good old days we had and it is such a pleasure to share this happiness to Langit. She looked so happy and couldn’t help keep smiling when the tent was ready with all her toys inside.
Unlike the current trend nowadays where people do pre-loved sales of their used things like bags, clothes, shoes, my mother often reminded us not to sell things that we have bought. It’s either you keep it or you pass it to other when you’re no longer use it. She was strongly against getting money from selling our stuff, whether when we’re in need of money or not. So, until now, we send out a box or two of unused clothes, shoes, bags, or tableware every few months and give it to our regular recipients.
Along with that kind of mindset, a good taste also follows. Those bags, shoes, clothes, cupboard, bed sheets, or whatever it is, I don’t know how she found such good quality and chic ones. She truly had good eyes. Last four years, I haven’t bought any shoes and bags. The real shoes and bags. I have been using hers. Luckily, we have the same shoes size.
Whenever I think about my mum, I can’t help being emotional thinking how lucky I am having her as my mother and how desperate I am to be as good as her to my daughter.
I had my greatest honour as a child of being able to be next to my mother on her last days. I wish to have another one as a mother.
I wish to be remembered like I remember my mother by my child(ren). Whenever they think about me, they will be happy and proud of having me as their mother.
Selama satu setengah tahun mengurus Langit (90%) sendiri, saya banyak belajar hal-hal yang selama ini saya tidak pernah terpikir bahwa seorang bayi kecil bisa melakukan hal-hal seperti yang orang dewasa lakukan. Hal-hal ini pun bahkan sering jadi pertanyaan orang-orang kenapa atau bagaimana karena memang mungkin hal-hal tersebut agak jarang ditemui pada anak seusia Langit. Dan ya itu, saya pun sebelumnya ngga terpikir tentang hal-hal ini. Oke, kata ‘hal-hal’ sudah diulang terlalu sering. Jadi, mari dielaborasi.
Tidur sendiri di kamar sendiri
Umumnya, yang sering saya liat biasanya bayi yang baru lahir tidur entah bersama orang tuanya dalam satu tempat tidur atau tidur di box bayi sendiri dalam satu kamar. Sejak pertama kali Langit pulang ke rumah, dia sudah langsung tidur di boxnya sendiri di kamar sendiri. Ini banyak sekali ditanyakan orang-orang.
Alhamdulillah bukan sekedar ngga apa-apa, tapi sangat menguntungkan buat kedua belah pihak. Kebetulan dari awal memang ada dua kamar di atas.Ketika adik saya menikah dan keluar rumah, kamarnya kosong. Jadi, ketika Langit lahir, saya dan pak dokter pindah ke kamar adik saya yang lebih besar sedikit, kamar saya untuk Langit. Langit tidur dalam satu box besar, seperti ukuran tempat tidur nomer 1, tapi tinggi, berjeruji juga berkelambu, dan tidak seperti box-box jaman sekarang, box ini kokoh sekali.
Bayi kecil di boks besar
Box ini merupakan box yang sama persis seperti yang saya dan adik-adik gunakan kurang lebih 30 tahun lalu. Ibu saya penyimpan barang-barang yang baik. Box kayu jati ini masih sebagus dan sekuat 30 tahun yang lalu. Bahkan, beberapa sepupu saya pun juga tidur di box ini. Bahkan lagi, kelas berapa SD pun saya masih tidur di box ini. Enak. Ngga kasihan?
Justru saya agak bingung kenapa harus kasihan. Oke, mungkin jawaban selanjutnya akan terdengar agak egois, tapi ini kenyataan. Tidur malam itu merupakan salah satu hal yang paling saya suka dan paling tidak suka kalo itu diganggu. Dengan tidur terpisah seperti ini, di bulan ketiga saya sudah tidur malam semaleman tanpa terbangun. Langit pun ternyata, dia ngga bisa tidur selain di boxnya sendiri. Tau dari mana? Saya pernah ajak dia tidur di kamar saya, dan gelisah bolak-balik ngga berhenti. Ketika dipindahkan di boxnya, langsung diem dan tidur. Ngga usah orang lain, Pak Dokter sendiri pun awalnya suka ngotot mau tidur bertiga. Tapi, jadinya itu membuat semua ngga bisa tidur. Jadi, ya apa untungnya. Tempat tidur saya pun bukan ukuran King atau Queen, jadi emang cuma nyaman untuk berdua. Kesimpulannya, kasihan sama sekali bukan kata yang tepat.
Kalo malam nangis kedengaran?
Jelas kedengaran. Orang kamarnya sebelahan persis, hehe.
Ngga repot-repot bolak-balik?
Awalnya iya, mungkin repot, buat orang. Buat saya ngga. Kebetulan, saya sama sekali ngga bisa nyusuin sambil tiduran. Jadi, kalo ,mau nyusuin saya ke sofa ruang tengah. malah lebih banyak lagi kan bolak-baliknya. Jadi, kalo malam nangis saya ke kamarnya, angkat, trus nyusuin di ruang tengah. Sudah selesai, taro lagi di boxnya, saya kembali ke kamar saya, tidur.
Buat saya, tidur sendiri ini salah satu hal terbaik dari hal parenting yang saya terapkan. Langit pun jadi tau mana yang merupakan teritori dia.
2. Jadwal yang (super) teratur
Saya sudah ngga bangun malam lagi sejak Langit usia tiga ke empat bulan. Tentu ada beberapa saat pengecualian. Tapi, umumnya secara keseluruhan, saya bisa tidur semaleman. Saya adalah orang yang sangat terjadwal. Meskipun saya kerja hanya seminggu tiga kali, tapi saya selalu ingin jadwal harian teratur. Sampai satu setengah tahun ini, jam 8.00 pagi, Langit sudah selesai makan jus mangga jeruk, makan nasi sepiring, mandi, dan ngemil pisang sambil main di luar.
Saya menolak untuk berkutat dengan urusan bayi nonstop karena saya mengerjakan semua sendiri. Saya mau punya waktu istirahat dan jeda antara satu hal dan hal lain. Waktu dan durasi jadi hal yang sangat penting. Sampai bulan lalu, Langit tidur masih sehari tiga kali. Pagi, siang, malam. Tapi, belakangan, mungkin udah lebih besar jadi udah lebih banyak main. Kadang dia hanya tidur pagi atau siang aja. Tapi, malam sekitar jam 19.30, dia sudah masuk kamar dan tidur. Sampai pagi. Itulah saat shift saya selesai. Karena lewat dari itu, saya juga akan jadi uring-uringan.
3. Makan Pedas, apa saja dan (sangat) teratur.
Ini mungkin akan agak terdengar entah sok tau atau pamer, tapi, kalo mau dilihat lebih jauh, mungkin bisa jadi tips. Alhamdulillah, sampe saya menulis ini, saya belum pernah merasakan namanya GTM atau gerakan tutup mulut. Dari awal dia tumbuh gigi sampai sekarang giginya hampir penuh, ataupun ketika sakit, makan tetap berjalan normal.
Jadi mau bilang makannya gampang?
HAHAHAHA, jelas tidak! kenapa hahahanya pakai huruf besar? karena saya jarang dapet kata gampang dalam hal apapun di hidup saya. Termasuk soal makan Langit. Awal MPASI memang agak terjekut juga karena kok cepet amat ni makannya. Tapi, seiring berjalannya waktu, pelan-pelan dia mulai ngemut, dan hal ini terjadi berbulan-bulan. Sampai saya kadang frustasi sekali. Tapi, kata ngga makan itu ngga berlaku dalam kamus saya. Jadi, saya tetap kerjakan kasih makan sehari tiga kali, dengan maksimal durasi sejam.
Biarpun makan diemut, tapi Langit sama sekali ngga pernah nolak makanan. Dia akan selalu buka mulut. Dia pun makan apapun yang disediakan dan dia sangat suka makanan berbumbu atau pedas. Saya punya satu sambel yang selalu dicampur di nasi apapun makanannya, karena emang nambah selera. Sambel bikinan rumah ya. Bukan botolan. Kalo yang dewasa, makan sambal itu dengan teri basah yang digoreng. Langit makan sambal itu dengan apapun.
Langit sudah makan seperti orang dewasa di umur 11 bulan. Jadi, saya ngga perlu masak sendiri untuk dia. Oya, di rumah kami makan masakan rumah tanpa penyedap rasa bermerek dan bukan pemakan nugget dan lain-lain. Saya belanja sendiri pasar untuk semua bahan makanan, yang masak mbak yang bantu di rumah selama 20 tahun ini. Saya terus terang agak fleksibel terhadap garam, tapi agak ketat terhadap gula.
Dia makan semua jenis ayam, ikan, daging, sayur. Beberapa ketawa waktu saya bilang bahkan pare pun dia makan. Iya, Langit makan pare dan ngga terlihat menderita. Dia hanya ngga bisa ngunyah kalau makanannya manis atau rasanya agak hambar. Telor dadar jelas bukan favorit dia.
Waktu mudik kemarin, hampir semua sepupu, tante dan keluarga Pak Dokter terheran-heran ngeliat dia makan dengan sambel seperti itu. Tapi, mungkin itu yang membuat saya ngga pernah merasakan GTM. Saya lihat anak kecil ya kaya orang dewasa aja. Semakin besar makin tau rasa. Makanan dengan rasa yang hambar atau terus berulang pasti akan buat bosan.
Langit tidak pernah makan satu rasa. Misal, Bilandango, tahu santan, terong balado, dan sambal dabu-dabu. Duh, itu enak bangettt. Dan terbukti, makannya emang cepet banget. Atau beberapa hari lalu, Rawon, labu siam, dan perkedel jagung pake sambel. Untuk Langit, dagingnya daging giling. Belum bikin sendokan baru udah mangap lagi.
Selama ini makan sambel itu, Langit ngga pernah mencret. Toh, saya ngga mungkin kasih dia semangkok. Cukup untuk beri rasa di makanannya. Cukupnya saya tentu beda dengan cukupnya orang lain. Jadi, mungkin bisa dicoba kalo pas anaknya lagi GTM.
Langit makan besar tiga kali. Pagi, siang, sore. Saya tidak mau berurusan lagi dengan makan setelah maghrib. Dokter anak saya waktu kecil selalu bilang, bayi rewel malam umumnya karena dua : lapar dan sakit. Selama dua hal itu ngga ada, dia akan tidur nyenyak.
Tapi, emang makan dari sore aja ngga kelaperan? Hm, kemarin malam Langit masuk box jam 7.15. Sampai detik ini saya nulis jam 5.45, dia belum bangun sama sekali semaleman. Kenapa? karena perutnya kenyang dan alhamdulillah sehat. Dan, ini terjadi umunya tiap malam:)
Langit makan duduk dari awal dia mulai makan dan saya ngga punya kursi makan khusus. Sekarang dia makan duduk di kursi meja makan
Awalnya pake kursi ini yang umurnya udah 26 tahun. Ngemut masih sambil senyum.
Udah bisa kabur dari kursi sebelumnya, pindah kesini. Pose tetap ngemut.
Abis bisa kabur lagi, sekarang pindah kesini, yang mana udah bisa kabur juga kalo ngga ditungguin.
Semua pakai kursi yang ada di rumah. Sayang uangnya buat beli kursi sendiri dan ngga ada yang ngasih juga. Seperti yang terlihat juga, semua dalam pose ngemut makanan-___-.
4. Belum pernah minum obat.
Sebelum melahirkan, saya ngga terbayang akan menyusui. Setelah menyusui, saya juga ngga terbayang akan menyusui sampai hari ini. Di atas semua itu, saya ngga terbayang, menyusui itu bisa membantu saya sampai usia Langit 20 bulan, dia belum pernah minum obat apapun. Jadi, sekarang mau bilang ngga pernah sakit?
Hehehe, jelas bukan. Langit jelas pernah demam, pilek, tapi memang jarang dan dia belum pernah minum obat. Kami punya sanmol di rumah dan itu isinya masih sama seperti waktu awal dibeli. Ayah Langit dokter, anaknya belum pernah minum obat.
Ketika Langit mulai terlihat kurang enak badan, hal yang langsung saya lakukan adalah menyusui lebih sering, menyodorkan air putih lebih banyak, dan memperkuat apa yang dimakan. Di hari pertama dia demam, saya akan secara suka rela bangun beberapa kali malam karena tidurnya agak terganggu dan saya akan nyusuin sesering dan selama mungkin. Biasanya, di hari kedua demam sudah turun, pilek muncul. Pilek ini yang mungkin lebih lama. Tapi, saya ngga terpikir juga untuk kasih obat karena itu akan sembuh sendirinya. Saya juga tambahkan jam kena sinar matahari paginya.
Saya sama sekali bukan anti obat. Waktu satu kali Langit pilek yang buat saya sudah agak lama, saya bawa ke dsa nya. Alhamdulillah banget DSA Langit ini bener-bener satu visi misi sama saya. Bukannya kasih resep, dia malah bilang ditingkatin aja asupannya. Boleh madu sedikit pake jeruk nipis. Duh, pokoknya anjurannya sesuai banget sama prinsip saya. DSA yang sejalan dengan kita itu sangat berharga lho. Tapi, ya benar aja, ngga berapa lama pileknya pun selesai.
Hal yang perlu digarisbawahi, poin keempat ini sangat erat kaitannya sama poinnya nomer tiga. Saya rasa nomer empat ini bisa ada banyak karena poin nomer tiga.
5. Introvert, mandiri, dan penyendiri
Langit punya 1,5 orang tua intorvert dan setengah ekstrovert. Saya introvert sampai ke tulang terdalam. Ayahnya masih setengah-setengah. Menghabiskan banyak waktu dengan saya sepertinya agak menular juga ke Langit. Dia ngga terlalu peduli kalo pas main dengan anak seusianya dan lebih suka main sendiri. Makanya, saya sekarang agak sering bawa dia keluar, ya meskipun dia lebih suka main sendiri tapi paling ngga dia lihat anak lain seusianya.
Kadang saya harus mengerjakan sesuatu dan saya ngga bisa awasin, juga ngga ada orang lain di rumah. Makanya di rumah saya punya dua play yard, di atas dan di bawah. Kalau saya sedang sibuk, atau mau mandi, saya taro dia di play yard dan dia main sendiri. Ngga nangis dan ngga keberatan. Dia tinggal pencet tombol musik, lalu dia main sambil baca atau tiduran atau ngoceh sendiri sambil nunggu saya selesai.
Karena kami tinggal di lantai dua, naik turun tangga jadi kebiasaan. Saya ngga menyadari sebelumnya, kalo Langit benar-benar memperhatikan ini. Tanpa bermaksud untuk sok tau, sekarang saya sudah bisa membiarkan dia naik turun tangga sendiri. Ini mungkin terdengar bahaya, tapi, mungkin juga harus liat dulu cara dia melakukan hal ini. Dia naik dan turun dengan sangat hati-hati. Tangga di rumah punya dua tangga datar. Mungkin juga karena sudah terbiasa, dia juga jadi tau kapan harus berhenti dan melangkah naik atau turun. Kecuali dia ngga sengaja, anak ini emang anaknya yang hati-hati. Contoh lain adalah main piano. Awalnya dia harus didudukan untuk duduk dan main piano. Satu hari, tanpa saya liat, dia sudah duduk rapi sendiri atas kursi piano, yang kebetulan agak lebih tinggi dari piano upright pada umumnya.
Waktu saya menyaksikan cara dia naik, saya bahkan heran sendiri bagaimana dia bisa terpikir cara-cara seperti itu. Mungkin itu ya kenapa dibilang tiga tahun pertama otak dan kemampuan bayi berkembang pesat. Mereka bahkan melakukan hal-hal yang ngga pernah dicontohkan untuk menyelesaikan masalah yang dihadapi.
Kenyataannya ngga seseram gambarnya. Itu cara dia naik.
Setelah manjat, lalu dia akan nungging dulu seperti ini sebelum pindah ke posisi merangkak dan duduk rapi.
Saya hanya agak ketat soal makan yang hampir semua masih saya yang kerjakan. Hal lain seperti Langit harus taruh sendiri baju kotor di keranjang pakaian kotornya, pipis di kulset, minum dari gelas sendiri, dan hal-hal lain, saya biarkan dia melakukan sebisanya sendiri. Pada akhirnya, kita ngga akan bisa terus ada di samping anak, bukan?
Kalau ada orang yang bilang ibu yang urus anaknya sendiri bisa buat anak jadi manja,karena selalu ada dekat ibunya, mungkin lima hal di atas bisa jadi jawabannya. Justru dengan urus sendiri, saya jadi bisa menerapkan apa yang menurut saya penting dan baik buat saya dan Langit tanpa dicampuri orang lain.
Silence in Sunday morning while the baby is still sleeping, breakfast checked, and nothing else to be done, always make my mind wander along to the past. Sunday morning used to be filled with lots of good cartoons on TV and fought over choosing which to be watched with my siblings. Sometimes I won, sometimes they did. Thinking about how I hated it those times back then, it is really funny knowing I really miss those things now.
The thought of the (good) old days makes my mind jump into another thing. Sibling(s) for Langit. I have constant battle in my mind about this particular thing. Mostly, you have your first child by will. You ask and wait for it badly. But, for the next one(s), usually for some people, the will is not as strong as they have for the first one. Of course, there are exceptions where some people seem enjoying to repeat the cycles within short interval like Kate Middleton for instance. She’s currently expecting her third child after just giving birth her second this year. But then, she is Kate Middleton.
My mind is constantly changing about repeating all the cycles once again. There are times when I have firmly decided that one is more than enough for me, then the other times, the firm decision becomes as weak as jelly.
I don’t know whether we need to justify the right reason to go for second, third, and so on. Honestly, deep inside, I am not really okay with one. But, when I looked back everything that I have been through alone, it scares me, well, pretty much. I am questioning myself whether I can be keep sane while dealing with one sometimes drained out my low level patience.
People said the first third or five years will (may)be hard, but after that, it will gradually easier and you won’t regret all those years you have been through. Well, okay.. But, my concern is how to go through those first years safely and sanely. When others worry more about money, I don’t really think about that. Money is surely important thing to raise a child well, but for that thing, I have enough confidence and trust that if we are given the next one, it will also come with its adequate sustenance. I have no doubt about that.
I worry more about time. I am in my early 30’s and I don’t know for how many years I have to raise my kids until they can do well on their own. Not having my mother around while I am being a mother makes me realise time is very limited. I am lucky enough to have her around and took as much as lesson from her during her lifetime, until I really can do well even without her presence. For every prayer I spell during shaalat, time and health are all I ask for me so I can do the job well.
Reading the news all over the world recently makes me want more to go for another. The world has become so much scary these days. The thought of leaving the baby alone here breaks my heart. Well, let alone the world, let’s see the nearest circle. If one day those kids are having hard times, whether with us their parents, or with others which they won’t talk about with me or their father, they will have each other back.
I have a certain limit to decide whether I will or won’t for this thing and I have told le husband about this. But then, isn’t all plan will be back to the one who decides for all affairs in our life?
That’s why I keep asking, for whatever, whenever, and whoever that Allah decides to be present in my life, He will give the best of everything according to my need. Amin.
I had this question quite often from close relatives who would like to go to Malaysia for the first time. Most of them think about Air Asia when it comes to cheap price, which is something I don’t (really) agree.
During 1,5 years of master study there, I went back and forth from both Jakarta and Kuala Lumpur 10 times. The very first thing I did once I had the fix schedule of all lectures was searching for the cheapest flight back home. All tabs in my laptop were about all airlines websites. Did I buy it straightly?
Of course, NOT!
I brought those fare comparison to my dream first. Even for days. I rechecked them every day for few times because the fares changed depends the time you checked it. For a stingy student like me, it was sensitive. Being hesitate whether to buy now or later. Imagining it wherever I went. Then, cursed myself when I saw the second time the price was higher. Such a true masochist.
After so many times doing like that, I really found that some airlines were truly cheaper than Air Asia. In fact, Air Asia became my very last choice among other airlines. The ticket price only was maybe cheap, but, once you continued your booking, other cost kept piling up and at the end of your booking, voila! That will be very far from cheap.
So, here’s my preference from the most to the least :
1. Lion Air
SURPRISE!! When domestically Lion Air is known to be the master of delay, I didn’t find it for several times I fIew with them. I found Lion Air had a flight to Kuala Lumpur ( or Jakarta) accidentally. It had been a hard battle inside my mind when two airlines which I regularly used gave me an expensive total fares for my pocket. Even after several days, it didn’t change much.
I just read a tweet several days ago saying ‘Price is the only tool that is able to make people realize they have another choice or they have to find one’. It is very true. Those airlines fares which I think too expensive made me search for other options. Then, instead of one, I found two other options. Lion air is one of them.
The best thing about Lion Air, it shows you directly the total price and with that price comes 20 kg of baggage allowance. No need to pay additional cost. It was very agreeable for me. Even more, they were truly good value for your money. I often got as cheap as IDR 350.000 one way from Jakarta to Kuala Lumpur. It costs the same like you fly to some cities in Java.
The second best thing about Lion Air is they depart from KLIA, not LCCT. It has the price of Low Cost airline, but they depart from high cost airline airport.
Recently, as far as I know, LCCT does no longer exist. They replaced it with KLIA 2.
Third and the last, few times flying with them, I never once experienced any delays. It was very punctual and more, the aircraft was big and clean. Guess it was new.
So, for all those three reasons, Lion Air is on my top of list.
2. Malaysian Airlines
This one is one of the regular that I often use. Before knowing how much cheap the fare between two cities, I used to think MAS was very cheap. When we first went there with my mum and sister, I found IDR 750.000 was a very good deal. Only after that I found out, it became the most expensive fare I paid among all my trips.
But, surprisingly, if you are persistent enough to regulary check their website, you can find a very shocking price like I once had. I once got the ticket price from Jakarta to Kuala Lumpur at IDR 75.000. YEP, three zeros only. Not even reach 10 USD. As for the total fares, it became IDR 239.000. See, it was a very very good deal.
Of course, MAS departs from KLIA and it has a lot of check in counters. The aircraft might not as big as Lion as far as I remembered, the leg room was quite narrow too. One thing is an advantage from MAS, they have lots of schedules in a day. My mum once was late for check in for 7 am departure and she couldn’t fly with her originally booked flight. Then, the check in staff simply changed it to the next flight schedule at 9 am. No additional charge, no grumpy face scolding us for being late. A very good service. Overall, it’s good.
3. Air Asia
Here’s the cheap airline which often turns out to be not cheap at all. Even start from the ticket price only, it wasn’t that cheap. You have to pay more for baggage according how many kilos that suitable for your belongings. After that, you pay for your seat, which is something that I think it’s a bit ridiculous. Do they expect us to stand up during the flight?
The aircraft is far from spacious, the seat is not really comfortable, and they depart from LCCT. Unlike KLIA, LCCT was an airport who looks like a bus terminal. Not my preference. Well, overall, it was just fair.
4. Tiger Airways
I found this when I found Lion Air. It was pretty similar with Air Asia. You pay for your baggage and seat. The price was slightly cheaper. I only tried this once or twice maybe. I didn’t feel too comfortable with this although there was no problem at all during the flight. It also departed from LCCT.
Actually, there were other two airlines at that time, Garuda Indonesia and KLM. But, both were out of my league. Hence, I left them.
So, if anyone ever ask me which one to choose, you surely know the answer.
It took about 30 years for me to finally having a chance to do mudik while it only took 1,5 years for Langit to experience it.
This year, after four years of marriage, we went to Solo, where le husband’s family were living. He still has his grandmother there. We went on the second day of Idul Fitri and… went back the day after. Haha! No return ticket were available until Tuesday so we just chose to go back on Friday’s last flight.
Overall, the first experience flying with the baby was beyond my expectation. All processes went smoothly, no delay at all and one thing that I was really grateful, although it’s a row with three seaters, depart and return we got all seats in a row only for ourselves. Both passengers next to us, depart and return didn’t go on board.
We flew with Citilink because they depart from Halim which is only 15 minutes from home. So, no need to leave home too early and the possibility of meeting traffic jam is pretty low. Since the depart flight left at 6 pm, I couldn’t imagine how I should wake up earlier than 2 am to prepare everything, especially for the baby.
I have never been brave enough to go somewhere without the baby has her stomach full. This one too. I prefered feeding her earlier than leaving with the thought she could eat later somewhere or on the plane. Feeding is my ultimate concern for the baby (and me, of course. I refused to face a feeding battle outside home or a house).
She fell asleep on the waiting room before boarding and woke up when we were about to take off. I started to offer her breastmilk, biscuts, or anything that prevented her from having her ears umcomfortable. But, maybe we, mothers, sometime worry too much. On the contrary, Langit seemed enjoying the flight. She was busy reading in-flight magazine during take off and landing. In between she sit in the middle, either reading, drinking , and eating banana. So, the depart flight was pretty successful.
For return flight, we took the last flight at 17.45 pm. It was as well on time. Usually, Langit starts feel sleepy after maghrib and she did too when we were on the plane. By the time we took off she fell asleep while being breastfed. She continued sleeping almost throughout the journey. Woke up for a moments twice or thrice and cried out loud with her eyes closed. The return flight was done quite good although it wasn’t as peaceful as the first.
I learned from yesterday’s experience some things important to be done or brought when travel with a baby or toddler. First, Baby carrier is a great help. During check in, getting through baggage checking when you have to put all your belongings on the belt, it was absolutely make it easier having the baby being in the carrier. For an active toddler like Langit who can’t help herself to touch everything around her within her reach, it was quite tiring chasing here and there. So, Baby carrier will be your right hand. According to the officer, only Garuda that allows stroller to be brought inside cabin. But, I saw several passengers during depart flight brought their kids on stroller. So maybe other than Garuda, there are others aircraft that allows stroller. But then, stroller is quite uneasy to be brought here and there. It’s bulky and heavy compared to baby carrier. You can’t just shove stroller to your bag. While carrier, just fold it and done.
Snack and drink. Like the depart flight, Langit prefered drink her water than breastmilk and I realized that it was okay. So there’s no need to push your breast to your babies. They want to enjoy the flight so they told you to enjoy it too.
Full stomach. Even for only five spoons, it is still very much better than feeding the babies with just anything we think we could find later. Hunger is the key to a cranky baby. Langit was not really fit that day. She had fever even until return. But, luckily, she never refused food. She ate breakfast as early as 3.20 am for depart flight and ate dinner as early as 3.40 pm.
The first hardest steps were taken. Let’s be ready for wider, further, and longer steps, shall we?
It’s been quite a while since the last sharing of Langit’s updates. I missed her 17 and 18. Some circumstances happened prevented me to write on time.
So, she is now a 1,5 years toddler. Getting bigger, taller, clever, and one thing that is quite tiring, she is getting everywhere around the house, messing all opened drawers, or everything within her reach.
It made me so fussy at first. But, as time goes by, having a toddler teaches you to let some things go. Like having a clean tidy living room as those ones in a magazine has. I learn to let go by not sweating too much small stuff like when she spoiled her milk, my babbles were getting shorter and I just wiped it. For me, it was an accomplishment.
She starts to understand some things like using spoon to feed herself, putting her dirty laundry on the basket before taking a bath, climbing the piano chair and seated herself well and play. She starts to babble clearly in words too.
It’s another six months until the time to wean her from breastfeeding. I hope we both can do well of weaning with love and peace. I keep telling her that sooner she will be a big girl and no longer able to have any breastmilk. She might not understand well, but I just keep talking.
Well, that is that. Let’s have a bit more sleep on this 25th day of Ramadan!
A Penny for My Pensieve 