There are times when your daily hardworks rewarded enormously.
Today is one of them.
The doctor called for so many times this morning but I was still doing things here and there. When I called back, he said he wanted to show me something.
He sent the capture of an email from Royal College of Music (ABRSM) grade 1 performance exam that the little girl took last month.
It has DISTINCTION on it.
The more unbelievable thing is the score.
147/150. Got 30/30 in three pieces. 29/30 for overall performances.
I couldn’t get enough reading the narration on the paper.
I know it’s a bit tacky. But, for now, just let it be. Not everyday you got a distinction from an important exam.
Up until yesterday, the chores that L has been doing only covered around her own things. Wash her own dishes, wash, hang, and fold her own laundry, make her bed, and tidy up her room. It’s been a while since I am thinking to upgrade her chore to involve things she does for others too.
After watching the morning flow for months, I found something that is pretty doable for her. Delegating a little of my morning task would be a good idea. It could start at the weekend only where she has more free time in the morning.
Fruit bowl is our compulsory breakfast. One third of my weekly groceries budget spent on fruits. Every morning, I make three fruit bowls for each one of us. It contains at the maximum four kind of fruits, at the beginning of the week, and two kinds at the end of the week.
So, I told her this Monday that starting this weekend, on Saturday and Sunday, she would be the one who took care of morning fruit bowls. On Friday, I asked her to write down the plan, what fruits she would put for that two days based what we had on the fridge.
Have a colorful weekend!
The nicest thing of teaching new things to the children at her age is, they’re so eager about that. There’s no slightest rejection tone from her mouth, only excitement.
Although in practice it wasn’t as easy as it looked, but still, new experience was always exciting. She did the first days of the new job quite well.
We could consider a household like an entreprise and houseworks/chores as projects. I could consider myself as a mommy manager who is in-charge of many projects and doing the four functions of management (POAC) daily.
Now, for one little project on the weekend, I have the first three functions (planning, organizing, and acting) done by my subordinate and only in charge for the controlling part.
Thus, I don’t listen to those who said ‘what’s the degree for if you ‘just’ stay at home?’
All the learnings I had done in both of my bachelor and master degrees are aplicable in almost all situations in the daily life and I use, appy, and pass it to the one who needs it the most, very well.
Salah satu berkah dari pandemi yang dirasakan adalah bagaimana itu membawa perubahan besar sekali dalam hal pendidikan. Terutama yang terjadi di rumah. Pandemi ini membuka mata bahwa banyak hal tentang pendidikan ini yang sebenarnya ada di tangan kita sendiri dan bukan di tangan guru dan kurikulum sekolah.
Pandemi ini buka banyak kesempatan untuk belajar tanpa batas, baik waktu dan tempat, dengan orang-orang dari berbagai jenis di seluruh dunia dan ini menyenangkan sekali.
Saat ini komposisi pendidikan yang dijalani L adalah 75% kurikulum pribadi dan 25% dari sekolah. Saat ini, sekolahnya lebih mirip dianggap kaya ekskul dibanding yang utama. Apa yang didapat dari sekolahnya saat ini lebih untuk mengatasi apa yang dia ngga bisa dapat dari rumah seperti sosialisasi dengan teman seumurnya, sedangkan di rumah fokus ke hal-hal untuk mengeluarkan kelebihan, mengajarkan hal yang lebih penting seperti cara berpikir dan membangun kebiasaan-kebiasaan baik.
Salah satu fokus yang orangtua sering lupa adalah kita bukan hanya membesarkan anak tetapi juga mempersiapkan mereka buat jadi orang dewasa. Oleh karena itu, selain belajar, L juga punya tugas lain di rumah yang berhubungan dengan pekerjaan rumah tangga seperti cuci piring, mengoperasikan mesin cuci, menjemur dan melipat bajunya sendiri, merapikan tempat tidur sendiri, dan akan terus ditambah seiring waktu.
Dari awal, seperti yang pernah saya tulis di post sebelumnya, saya punya tiga tujuan besar yang saya ingin ada di anak saya :
– self discipline (ngga nemu kata di bahasa Indonesia yang pas untuk ini) untuk dirinya sendiri.
– empati untuk berhadapan dengan orang lain.
– literasi untuk memahami banyak hal di hidup ini.
Tiga hal itu menjadi dasar untuk menjalani kegiatan sehari-hari seperti pernah ditulis di salah satu post ini.
Untuk kali ini, saya mau review tentang tiga aplikasi utama yang sudah kami pakai selama kurang lebih 1,5 tahun ini.
1. Numbots
Ini adalah aplikasi untuk matematika khusus buat penambahan dan pengurangan. Terdiri dari beberapa level dari yang paling mudah sampai yang sulit.
Salah satu point penting dari aplikasi ini adalah repetisi. Satu topik yang sama bisa dibuat di beberapa level dengan cara yang berbeda. Buat kami ini menarik karena repetisi adalah kunci untuk membuat suatu hal menjadi permanen di dalam otak. Dalam hal apapun, termasuk belajar matematika.
Fokus kami bukan tentang seberapa banyak level bisa dihabiskan atau seberapa banyak koin yang bisa dikumpulkan, tapi seberapa konsisten game ini dimainkan dalam jangka waktu yang lama.
Selama kurang lebih 1,5 taun terakhir, dia sudah menyelesaikan 12 dari 18 tahap Numbots yang tersedia. Untuk menyelesaikan satu tahap, dia harus melewati 80-90 level kecil untuk setiap tahap.
Badge terakhir : 365 hari berturut-turut
Awalnya, aplikasi ini diberikan gratis dari sekolahnya di London ketika awal pandemi. Setelah setahun lebih konsisten menggunakan ini sampai kami kembali ke Jakarta, karena khawatir history dia hilang karena sudah bukan murid sekolah tersebut, kami memutuskan untuk pindah ke akun keluarga dengan biaya pribadi.
Buat kami pribadi, harga yang dibayar bukan hanya yang tertera di atas. Untuk harga tersebut, kami terbebas dari sakit kepala mengajarkan matematika dengan cara yang tidak menyenangkan, membuat anak belajar matematika setiap hari tanpa drama.
Dan ini bisa untuk beberapa anak sekaligus. Jadi buat yang punya anak usia berdekatan, makin oke lagi valuenya. Juga bisa dibagi dengan sepupu yang seumur.
(Enak bukan, ibu-ibu?)
2. Time Table Rockstar
Nah, ini adalah kakaknya Numbots. Numbots dan TTRS ini games dari developer yang sama dengan fokus yang berbeda. Kalo Numbots fokus di penambahan dan pengurangan, TTRS fokus di perkalian dan pembagian.
Seperti Numbots, TTRS juga terdiri dari berbagai level di setiap tahap. Kalo di Numbots untuk maju ke level berikutnya perlu menjawab dengan hasil minimal 2 bintang (yang ditentukan oleh kecepatan menjawab), kalo TTRS, ditentukan oleh soal yang bisa dijawab dengan benar dalam waktu 1 menit. Dibutuhkan minimal 20 jawaban benar untuk lanjut ke level berikutnya. Kalo ngga sampe 20 jawaban benar, harus ulang lagi.
Kalo bisa jawab 20, tulisannya continue. Kurang dari 20, play again.
Sekali lagi, kuncinya di game ini adalah repetisi. Jadi beda level bisa tentang soal yang sama dan berulang, dengan metode yang beda.
Fokus di TTRS ini adalah perkalian 1-12.
Biaya per tahun
Untuk saat ini, kami lebih pilih fokus dengan dua aplikasi ini untuk training matematikanya dibanding membayar ke lembaga les tertentu.
3. Epic!
Selain Numbots, ini adalah legacy lain dari sekolahnya di London. Kalo Numbots untuk matematika, ini adalah untuk membaca. Fokus pendidikan usia dini di sana cuma tiga : math, reading, writing. Jadi semua sumber daya untuk tiga hal tersebut berlimpah. Ngga ada PR lain selain membaca, setiap hari.
Ini juga hal yang mau kami tetap jalankan setelah pulang ke Jakarta.
Epic! ini seperti Nettlix untuk buku. Tersedia beribu buku dari semua topik dan untuk berbagai level pembaca. Buat yang belum lancar buku ada fitur read-to-me. Buku-bukunya juga menarik dan selalu diupdate. Ada Epic! Original series, kaya Netflix banget kan?
Statistik setelah 1,5 tahunBisa liat reading history
Buat kami, Epic! ini value for moneynya tinggi sekali. Kebiasaan bacanya dapet, kaya kamus kecil dengan penjelasan komprehensif untuk berbagai topik dan pertanyaan, ngga perlu space buat menyimpan bukunya terutama buat yang tinggal di ruang kecil dan masih pindah-pindah seperti kami. Harga yang dibayar buat semua keuntungan di atas Rp 140.000/BULAN.
Jadi, bukan per tahun ya buat Epic! ini.
Selain tiga aplikasi ini, kami juga sangat bergantung pada banyak aplikasi menarik buat pelajaran musiknya. Beberapa aplikasi musik yang rutin dipakai : Pitch Ear dan Piano trainer.
Salah satu privilege besar yang L punya itu adalah punya dua orang tua yang sama passionatenya di banyak hal untuk pendidikannya. Semua aplikasi baik buat belajar ataupun game, itu hasil kurasi ayahnya yang bukan sekedar asal unduh, tapi diliat dan dicoba satu persatu, kadang ditonton dulu tutorial dan reviewnya.
Semoga review ini bisa membantu dan makin banyak orang yang pakai tiga apps berguna ini!
Done with telling her happy experience at school yesterday , out of the blue, after some period of silence, something came from her mouth,
“When I am older, I’ll have a husband”.
(Stay calm)
“What do you mean?”
“I’ll get married and have a husband”.
(What’s with this sudden idea?)
“Wait until I park the car and we talk about this”.
Glad when this happened it was already near home. It was such a distraction during driving. Off-record convo kept going until we arrived at the parking lot.
Asked the main idea again once the engine was off.
Even asked her once again to get to know what’s her main idea to blurt out such thing suddenly.
A serious talk in a car park
Did I say “gentar” is the word to describe the end of the first 7 years?
This kind is one of the reasons why.
To fully accept and realize that she is no longer a little baby.
To answer many questions without preparations.
To deal with many hard conversations to come.
I don’t know whether it’s the right thing to do or not, as someone who is being next to her most of the time, I almost always take her questions seriously.
So, instead of telling her that this is not something to talk about on her age, I am more eager to know what’s on her mind and how much she could elaborate, in spite of her limitations in language and understanding.
More than worry, I was actually quite happy having this convo because this means she could talk freely about everything on her mind with me. Something that we definitely need in future years to come.
Also a reminder to not underestimate my child for something that she is capable of thinking and doing despite her age and conditions.
Like being capable of describing the qualities she wants for her future partner to the flowers she would like to have for the wedding.
May Allah grant her good wish and grant me (and her dad) more patience and better guidance to walk this journey safely.
At first, the decision to send her to a non-religious school gave certain guilty feeling inside. It was among many (important) things that didn’t go according to initial plan.
But then, since when (big things in) life goes according to your plan?
Never mind. The more important thing is while the goal should be rigid, the strategy needs to be fluid.
The bright side of choosing non-religious school where religious study is not the main menu (and far from adequate), it opens many opportunities to explore other possibilities of good teachers.
Done with a Quran teacher, next searching that I have been doing for months is a (proper) Islamic teacher.
When gender is not a problem for the Quran teacher, as long as the person is qualified and speaks English well, which we go with a male teacher, for Islamic, I strictly want a female teacher.
Why female teacher? Because she will soon go to puberty, where many drastic changes would happen. A period of many turbulences which she needs someone to hold on to, to share things with other than her parents (since maybe the parents would be one that she would have conflict with), someone who understands what she has been going through, more importantly, someone with proper knowledge about the know-how according to our religion. For me, that’s one important thing that I surely couldn’t handle alone.
Been looking around, reading many profiles, did some trials and not working well, until I bumped into a good looking profile in one of the platforms on the internet.
Sent short paragraphs of introduction explained what I looked for, what kind of lesson I expect to have and the learning purpose. Explained thoroughly about her condition and my expectations.
A reply received in an instant. The conversation went well and the first meeting set up right away.
Alhamdulillah, the first lesson done as good as expected. On time, well-prepared, and I loved how the lesson delivered.
Hopefully, the relationship will be as good as the first lesson.
It takes a village to raise a child. Surround her with good and qualified teachers on the subject that we consider important and where the parents don’t have adequate knowledge about, is part of our efforts to provide proper village for her to grow.
(Switch to Bahasa mode)
Menuju periode 7 tahun kedua, hati makin berat dari sebelumnya. Kenapa? Karena sadar ilmu yang diperlukan buat menghadapi periode ini masih jauh dari cukup.
Menghadapi 7th pertama yang udah belajar teorinya jauh sebelum prakteknya aja masih banyak ‘miss’-nya. Apalagi ini, yang baru mulai ‘serius’ belajar beberapa tahun terakhir.
Di parenting Islam, 7th pertama anak adalah raja (master) yang bebas tanpa tugas, main tanpa batas, masuk ke 7th kedua anak adalah ‘slave’ (once elaborated here).
Waktu dimana sudah harus belajar disiplin, ilmu yang baik, punya kewajiban dan tanggung jawab, bahkan boleh dipukul jika umur 10 tahun tidak melaksanakan kewajibannya.
Usaha mencari guru ini yang terlihat buat ngajar anaknya, tapi tujuan utamanya adalah buat ngajarin orangtuanya. Menghadirkan guru buat anak lebih untuk supaya orangtuanya lebih punya ilmu yang benar buat menghadapi ‘battle’ yang akan lebih berat dari sebelumnya.
Seperti dokter yang harusnya lebih tau dari pasiennya, bos lebih jago dari bawahannya, masuk akal kalo tuan harus lebih pinter dari hamba sahayanya. Jadi, ngga ada cara selain belajar lebih keras dari sebelumnya. Anak-anak itu fast learner, yang lambat itu orangtuanya.
Hari-hari menuju akhir 7th pertama, hati lebih sering gentar dari sebelumnya.
I usually write in Bahasa Indonesia for a review, but not this time because no time to think harder.
Camping has been on little girl’s head for quite a while without no clear answer or plan.
Found this quite secluded glamping spot two weeks before, after intense two days researches, after having an official letter about piano school semester break, without knowing any other schedules at school.
Chose the date carefully on weekdays and half weekend. When the weekly schedule released last Sunday, the departure date turned out to be exactly right after the last test day at school, and for the first time, there was no zoom meeting for her favorite subject on Friday.
These little things that seemed like coincidences were things that amazed me how the invisible hand would help you in many ways beyond human calculation.
This glamping site is the closest, the safest, and the most reasonable choice for newbies like us (me and the little girl). It feels like camping like sleeping with some bugs, open air bathroom with pine tree view, night with bonfire, yet it has some adjustments like comfy bed and blanket and acceptably clean bathroom.
It is our first outing after nine months here and it is quite safe space for current situation. Open air, no physical distancing needed, big chance of mask free possible since meeting other group was quite rare. During our stay, there were only other two families.
Some yes points for the glamping site :
– Responsive staff
– Reasonable driving distance from home (2 hours)
– Got the camping feel for the little girl such as sleeping with some bugs inside the tent, campfire with roasted marshmallows, open air bathroom yet got the two most important things comfortably for mommy : bed and bathroom. Not ready to settle for less since this was my first time too.
– Price included 3 meals (BLD) and 3 snacks time.
– Quiet, fresh air, and far from crowded. At that time, we only had other two families with us. Those two checked out the next day, so there was period when we got all the camping site for ourselves.
– Kids friendly activities such ATV, fishing, guling-guling on the grass, walking and bathing in the river, monkey watching (there were few since it’s forest), acceptable tracking route for little girl with some help (tolerable means it depends on the one who got through it).
We took the nature walk to the next level. Conquered quite short yet rocky trail, crossed the river, climbed the rock with some help and managed to reach the finish line.
It was a great chance to entertain all the senses to the fullest. Watched the beautiful view along the hike. Listened to the nature sound and the silence of the forest. Smelled the fresh air. Felt all the things with the hand and feet. Filled the heart with utmost gratitude.
This was also my first time doing such thing and felt so ecstatic to have my pink boots finally been in the place it should have been after a while.
It is quite hard to not to brag about this little traveler who survived all kind of weather, from the deep blue sea to the top of the forest, happily. After live on board in Komodo Island for 5 days two years ago, this was another nature adventure she did well.
Among 11 people who started the tracking, only 3 completed the journey.
Finish what we have started is not something that everyone can do.
It was two days well spent without daily schedule, youtube or Roblox since proper internet or wifi was not available. Yes, they got NO WIFI, although they said they did in the website.
But, it wasn’t really a big problem because we did many things such as playing card for learning bahasa Indonesia, snake and ladder, drawing, or just swinging and went around the site.
“Will we have another camping next year?” she asked.
Well girl, that is a question that only time could answer. For now, let’s say big fat Alhamdulillah for us to be granted this precious chance.
Today, during school from home morning circle, the little girl learned that people would break her heart, made her upset and cried hard, although it was unintentional, and there was nothing she could do to avoid that, no other way than to deal with it, on her own. Those around her could soothe her for a while, but the rest, she had to figure it out herself because it’s her who felt it inside.
A simple thing like when someone forgot to call your name during attendance list and gratitude book reading could turn to be something big. It was far from simple when you had waited for your turn patiently, you had prepared your line carefully, heard that even others who hadn’t prepared at all being called twice, you expected that your turn would come soon and suddenly it said it was done.
I encouraged her to speak up about that. I told her to unmute herself and say it loudly, although it was with trembling voice and teary eyes that she said she hadn’t got her name called. Some excuses given from the other party, but it didnt make things better of course.
Afterwards, I sent text to stress how important this thing for us and reminded to pay careful attention so there would be no second time for this, to anyone, for whatever reasons. Apology sent to me but it was actually the little girl who needed to hear it. She kept asking whether the person was really sorry or had already said sorry.
Other than upset, being confused was totally understandable. Here at home, we (always try to) apologize properly, discuss it, explain the whys, but we couldn’t ask other to do the same. Apology is not something that you ask from other people. It was given from someone who feels it’s the right thing to do after a mistake.
In the society where sorry and thank you are not not trained properly and considered mandatory, it’s hard to expect such thing from others. Even worse, those who think children doesn’t deserve a sincere apology.
At times like this, what helps a lot is to have proper time and space to process everything, to explain thoroughly so having acceptance would be easier. I am glad I was with her when such things happened.
As we make journaling more routine, she also managed to pour her feelings into short writing.
Slightly messier handwriting than usual due to messy heart?“I haven’t got my turn!”
It was not my first time dealing with this, been through worse, yet, it was still heart-breaking to see other people hurt your child.
There’s always homework to do in any stages of motherhood you go through.
Emotional regulation is our main subject which comes with bulk of tasks and lots of unannounced tests, for now.
Some days are Joyful and , some days are awful and bring you displeasures.
The long search about finding a proper Quran teacher who fits all my requirements finally ended. It’s been couple of weeks since having this uncomfortable feeling teaching her this subject. Knowing how far from adequate my knowledge on her current level.
It also doesn’t feel right when we go with professional and qualified teachers for her other education like piano, speech language therapy, gym, so why we go with a mediocre and unqualified one for something as important as learning Quran?
As always, what we ask is what we get.
After clicking lots of profiles in superprof app for months, following few learning accounts, without satisfying results till I just stopped searching. But, giving up on this is not an option.
As always, things always granted when we desperately want it the most.
The right one found me at the first search after long pause of searching at the end of last week.
The teacher accepted the request not long after that.
The funny thing happened when we discussed about the lesson time.
When I offered choices of our free afternoon schedule, the teacher said he could only have mornings since he had fully booked from afternoon till night.
I had certain unusual idea in mind that I would like to propose to whoever that will become her Quran teacher.
To have the lesson at the same time she usually has her lesson daily with me. Right after subuh.
Since the teacher said he wasn’t available during usual and normal hours, so I thought it was perfect time to offer the unsual idea of mine.
I asked.
He agreed right away.
We paid in advance.
He gave the lesson link with the schedule in an instant.
On the day, we requested five minutes before the appointed schedule as we always do.
He accepted at exactly 5.30 am.
This is why we should always ask everything in details.
I want a Quran teacher who :
– has proper knowledge and qualification in teaching the subject
– speaks english well (more because of her first language is English and she thinks in English), not just one that can speak English, like me.
– know how to teach.
– last but obviously not the least, on time to the last minute.
Alhamdulillah, as many other things in life that I have requested so far , this time too, all is granted on the right time.
First lesson done well. Hopefully will continue to do so. Amin.
As we finished isya and she folded her mukena, she came to me and looked at me, then whispered in tiny voice, “Are you binung (bingung)?” since she caught me staring blankly.
“I am not feeling well,”
“Can I help you with anything? Do you want some tea?”
“Ya, i’ll make some tea later,”
“I’ll help you with it. With sugar or honey? Or without sugar?”
“Without sugar. Do you know which glass to use?”
“The green glass,”.
Then I just watched her doing it step by step in her own way.
While mine is put the tea bag on the glass, then fill it with hot water while hers is fill the glass with hot water then put the tea bag.
As her hand went up and down with the tea bag, she asked,
“Enough?”
“Yes,”.
The glass didn’t have any handles on it, when she touched it she knew she couldn’t bring it to me.
I thought she would ask me to just go to the table and drink it there (i still sat on the sajadah), but instead she said, “Wait, I need a tray to bring this, but where is it?”
(there’s usually a little tray for drinking glass on the table)
“In the drying rack, I washed it. Is it dried enough already?”
She took it and answered, “Not really, but it’s fine”.
She put the tea on the tray and put it on the carpet. One sip, it filled the whole body with warmth.
Little cup with enormous effect
Listened to the empathetic tone. Listened to her offering help, even asked with some details. Watched her doing the task systematically and solved the problem well.
It was a joy that no kind of tangible achievement could give.
I once wrote last year, I have three qualities that become my compass in raising her. At the same time, Edward de Bono’s book become one of the on-going readings on the shelf.
Being shown that she displayed one of the qualities properly and showed that she knew how to think accordingly.
This is the kind of learning and training result that matters the most for me.
This might be just a simple thing for others, but this is the kind of event that could wipe all my worries tremendously for a while.
It was one of the moments that I could assure myself that she would be ok.
As always, a sudden plan striked again last Tuesday. Realized that she had only one morning meeting, house cleaned, many hours to go to a simple exam this afternoon, dinner’s secured, then immediate preparations fixed to go to some place that she would love.
Since pandemic began, in London, and especially here, guess I am getting better at making sudden trip happen. Last minutes field trip becomes banal. The tricky thing is, before I could tell her that we would go somewhere, I had to carefully planned everything. Not all the plan successfully executed, but most of the time, it did.
The perks of having all things done at home as early as possible, having plan A and B for weekly meal prep inside the brain, when sudden idea came, we could grab it fast. I could only go outside peacefully knowing everything inside is taken care properly.
Glad also that her current school and homeschool schedules still allow us to have this chance. Packed Monday balanced with easy Tuesday. Some days I look like an ambitious chinese tiger parent that filled her kid with lots of extra activities, some days I could look like a laid back Dutch or Scandinavian parent that let her child play freely all day. That Tuesday, it was the latter.
Left the car and ordered the taxi because of the restriction and again turned out to be the best option. Although his car also one with even number license, the driver knew the routes to beat the restriction which I and goggle maps didn’t. New knowledge is always welcomed.
It was rained right when we arrived, yet it knew how precious the chance for a proper outdoor session. Not long, the sun said hello within few minutes.
Little bunny finally reunited with things that she had been missing for months. Proper playground and (lightly) soaked on the water. This time, I wouldn’t go with the tone saying how pity to live in the city where we had to pay for this kind of basic thing for children.
(But you said it!)
I know.
But, such a nice break from Roblox, isn’t it girl?
A Penny for My Pensieve 