Last trip was another hard lessons for myself about the importance of tawakkul, which also much correlated with Tauhid.
From myislam.org :
Tawakkul is having complete trust or reliance in Allah. For all affairs, Allah Almighty is capable, sufficient, and knowing so we should rely on him alone.
Tawḥīd or al-tawḥīd (also spelled touḥīd or tawḥeed) is an Arabic word, which literally means “unification” or “asserting oneness.”
Faith and religion are something personal, and I rarely want to talk about this. But, last trip was too intense, too chaos, too much of anything I felt until it was too impossible for us to return safely, unless it was the mercy of Allah. I really wanted to remember what really happened, what was on my mind during those periods.
The trip was such a strong reminder that you might be overly meticulous planning everything as much as you can, but nothing would prevent you from having everything goes against your plans.
Fully understand that life rarely goes according to the plan. That is one reason to not only rely on ourself in everything. More, in the place when we barely knew anyone, didn’t speak a single word of their language, when no one was having advantage to help us, the urgency to rely on something greater than ourself was even bigger.
The moment when we’re denied check in for Porto-Paris flight was one of worst moments in traveling.
After a long queue to check in the counter, when the officer said we couldn’t use this ticket because we didn’t take the first flight without any notifications, so the airline cancelled the whole flight, my heart was shattered.
My mind was racing here and there.
The officer handed me an email address which I skeptically received, knowing it wouldn’t do much to help us. Who in the world would reply an email on Saturday morning?
We went to a corner trying every single way possible to contact the airline from any platforms. The airline doesn’t have any office in Porto. We couldn’t make a call because we didn’t use any sim card that allowed us to make a call.
An airline whatsapp seemed work for a moment, but it wasn’t really. I already offered the only solution I knew at that time, buying a new ticket for afternoon flight. It was far from the best solution, because it means we missed the whole day and should pay another amount. The doctor still tried to find a way to talk to the airline call center.
At that time, I looked around and saw the long queue in the check in counter was clear. No single passenger was seen. I moved my feet to return to the counter.
I mustered my courage and faced that lady once again. Tried hard to keep my calm and talked without trembling, while kept looking at my watch. The flight would depart in an hour. I kept talking to myself along the way.
My self talk wasn’t about the positive affirmation to myself, but, sincere pleading to The One Who Takes Care all affairs, One who owns the heart of every human being, to help me to go through what I should go through at that moment.
“We couldn’t reach anyone who could help us with this, can you help me, please?”
“Have you make a call?”
“No I haven’t, I can’t. We have tried all the platforms to talk to the airline, but it didn’t work,”
“Ok, I try to call it for you, not sure there will be someone right now”.
Judging from her face and her tone, she was obviously didn’t do it happily, which I totally understood.
At that time, the doctor was already on the phone with someone but they said they didn’t understand what was the problem. The ticket was still there and we could use it. But, I believed, during that critical moment, one who really could help us was the one who had the authority to hand us the boarding pass, not someone who wasn’t there.
She was finally able to talk to someone who kept asking her questions which she relayed to me. Why we didn’t board on the plane, why we didn’t send any notifications, why we went to Amsterdam instead. All the questions I imagined would be asked on Paris border during our arrival were all asked here.
I answered truthfully.
Until she said,
“You can use the tickets but you have to pay a fine because of this. XXX euro,”.
“We’ll pay,”
“How will you pay it?”
“By card”.
“Do you have the card with you now?”
“Yes, I have,”.
I called the doctor from a far asked him to bring all of the luggages.
Few minutes later, three boarding passes issued.
We thanked her so many times. I thanked the One who softened her heart endlessly.
In that moment, it wasn’t my pleading, it wasn’t because of we had the money, it was because He allowed it to happen.
Later we knew, the fine was charged per person. Not for the whole bunch.
The price of tiny mistake could be this expensive.
Sigh.
When I thought we had been through the worst, another came.
It was when we arrived in Abu Dhabi. We had safely landed and got out of the plane. Just few meters after that, the little girl said she wanted to go to restroom.
When I wanted to leave my backpack with the doctor, I realized something was missing.
My handbag where all the passports, boarding passes, money, handphones were inside, wasn’t there.
I ran back to the plane as fast as I could because almost all passengers was out. I told the cabin crews I left my bag on my seat.
One might wondered how could I leave such important bag.
I put it under the arm rest. Both were in brown colors. When I got the bag, the officer almost turned off all the light and ready to close the door so I had to scream, “wait for me!”.
“Ah yes, you’re still here. No worries,”.
He turned on the light again.
I walked out of the the plane and the bridge safely.
My dear heart.
I thought two nerve-wrecking moments were enough to humble me.
But, it seemed that the lesson hadn’t finished yet.
Since we had 8 hours of layovers with another hour of delay, we decided to book an airport hotel so we could sleep properly.
We slept well and checked out an hour before it was boarding time.
During the queue for boarding, the doctor asked me where the other plastic bag I brought from Paris.
I really couldn’t believe myself at that time. For leaving another thing at the hotel room.
The hotel was in terminal one.
Our flight was in terminal three.
Once again, my legs were pushed to do the sprint.
The hotel receptionist was startled, when I arrived,
“Mam, your flight is boarding already!”
“Yes, that’s why, please be quick,”
Another man who helped to open the room asked,
“Where is your gate?”
“32”
“It was on terminal three!” He acclaimed.
“Yes I know, thank you so much,”
I reached the gate on time.
During the sprint, my lips were on constant istighfar and thought I might do harm on someone for having all these chaos.
Three huge mistakes in a row.
How much I failed and felt so off during this trip, yet how near the help had been.
It wasn’t luck, it wasn’t my sudden realization, it wasn’t because we had the money, it was purely because He helped us with any ways possible until we made it.
Without His helps all through the journeys, I didn’t know what my mistakes would do to us.
Couldn’t help crying when the plane was finally landed at the home airport.
This writing was started yesterday and I still had no idea how to finish this. But, this morning, a post from Yasmin Mogahed came to me and it talked about those two titles which hit me hard.
I remembered one of my writings when we returned from London during Covid time, where we had to leave all the safety net we had in London and would walk into the unknown battle we had in Jakarta.
This trip wasn’t about all the experience that taught me lessons in traveling. More importantly, it was one which strengthened the belief inside. . The belief that after doing my best in everything, He did, He does, and He will take care of the rest.
As always.
I just have to put my utmost trust on Him and nothing else.
My big next homework is about how to transmit this important belief and value to the little girl. To have such belief at heart, that all the things that happen to her, no matter how big or small, whatever it is, wherever she is, whoever she becomes of, it is not because of her, not because of her parents, not because of anything, but Allah.
Above any skills and values in life I want her to possess, this one alone is the most valuable I hope her to master and stay with her for the rest of her life.
A Penny for My Pensieve 