Category: Thoughts

I know it’s quite late. Dangal was on the theatre few months ago. But, actually it wasn’t kind of movie which dominated all studios in every cinema like the one with superheros on it. If I am not mistaken, Dangal was only available in very few certain cinemas in South Jakarta.

I finished watching it yesterday with the doctor on Netflix and I have been repeating some of its scenes on my head. A great movie always stays longer on your head and probably forever in your heart. Dangal has those two possibilities.

It was one based on true story about Indian wrestling athlete who once fought for the country for Olympic and had to be satisfied with silver medal. The thirst for gold medal haunted him for a long time until he decided that one of his children should take the same path like him and accomplished what he’d been dreaming of.

It turned out that his first child was a girl. He tried again then the second turned to be a girl too. Until the fourth child, all he had were girls.

One certain conflict trigerred this father to start training his two oldest daughters to become a wrestler. He trained Geeta and Bambita hard. Started early in the morning, trained them like a professional wrestler. These girls, no matter how unhappy they were with their father doing, they kept going with the training. They tried to fail the plan sometimes and they failed miserably.

Although all of his family were against the idea, including the girls’ mother, he kept going. He asked his wife to give him a year to train the girls. If there were no result, then he would give up his dream forever.

I won’t tell a whole story here and of course, the movie goes like we expect. It’s truly worth your 2,5 hours of time watching it. Unlike my husband, I am rarely into a movie. Unlike dramas, movie often makes me sleep.

I survived Dangal from the first minute until its last credit title. Some tissues surely needed while watching it.

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One of the reasons why I survived Dangal until the very end, and more, even take some time to write a post about this, because it reminds me of some familiar moments.

I was once Geeta and Bambita with a mother like their father. Although the achievement is nothing compared to those girls and their father, I experienced similar things like those two girls went through until the very end. I felt like re-watching my thirteen years of life in the past while watching Dangal.

When the father unachieved dream was about Olympic gold medal, my mother’s was piano. She had been dreaming of being able to play piano for a long time. Until my father gave up one of his Vespas to buy her a decent upright piano. Right after marriage, she started learning privately at home. But, not for long, she was pregnant with me and her pregnancy wasn’t the easy one.

She stopped learning for some time until she had a chance to resume her lesson, after her second child was born. She waited that long. But, again, being a working mom with two little babies were surely not easy. She told me whenever she had her lesson when my sister was sleeping, this little baby suddenly woke up and refused to go back to sleep. Again, she finally had to give up her private lesson.

It wasn’t my mom if she gave up easily. Once we were older, she started searching for a music school to learn. She came to one of music schools in Manggarai, and asking some information to join a piano course. The administrator laughed at her and said they only had and allowed piano course for children age 5-12, maximum, if they hadn’t learned anything before. She came home with a blank form with her.

I was only five when this happened and on my third years in kindergarten due to unsufficient age to enroll primary school. For certain reason, my mother thought it might be boring to spent three years in kindergarten and it was better for me to have something other than school. Then, with such thought, she enrolled me to that music school.

She told me later, if she couldn’t manage to play piano at all, then at least she could see her daughter (and all her children actually. Three of us went to the music school) plays.

Similar to the father in Dangal, she too didn’t have the support from her husband, my father. My father was against the idea thinking it would be burdensome to pay for another bill while it wasn’t compulsory. There were three of us already. For an ordinary government employee, supporting five people was surely hard already.

But, again, it wasn’t my mum if she gave up easily. She stood firm to her decision, told my father that she wouldn’t ask a penny from him to pay the monthly tuition. Luckily, she was working and had her own money too. She even told him, she wouldn’t bother him about sending me to the school. She would take all the responsibilities about this.

She really meant what she said. I still remembered clearly, she sent me to the music school in a bright hot day, by public transport, while bringing her two other children along. My brother was only one at that time.

We walked from home to the nearest public transport stop, about fifteen minutes, put my brother’s stroller in a small warung, then got on a mikrolet until terminal and changed to bajaj to the music school. It went the same for the return trip. Bajaj until terminal, a mikrolet until the residence gate, took the stroller from the warung and walked home. She had been doing that for at least five or six years until my father started to take part in our music course.

I couldn’t imagine how she kept surviving all those hassles,bringing three little children in a hot bright day, by public transport,  twice a week, for a mere 20-minutes piano lesson. Yes, TWENTY MINUTES ONLY EACH LESSON TWICE A WEEK. For this part, I think my mother won a big time over Geeta and Bambita’s father.

She might not be able to train me like the Dangal father, but she never skipped any single lesson for whatever reason. If there were any, I couldn’t remember it at all. It was very similar to the father who never skipped a single morning and afternoon training for his daughters. Although she couldn’t play at all, she accompanied me practising at home. Made a practice schedule daily and sat right next to me.

Similar to Geeta and Bambita, I wasn’t too happy too with such training. It was hard and I came to tell my mother cried and said I wanted to quit. But, she kept telling me to go on and said to finish what I had started.

I won’t repeat the whole story about this since I have written an old post about this here. What I want to point is what my mother and this Dangal father did.

Unlike the recent parenting trend where parents are told better not to push the children to do something related to their ambitions, both parents were doing the opposite way.

I think, with the right nature and nurture, parents who push their ambition, as long as it is something good and worth fighting for, it could give the children something beyond what they could think of.

For many aspects in life, parents know better. They could see something beyond what the children could see. Sometimes, they have to drag the children to the roughest path for them to be able to find a great treasure. But, what some parents forget is they have to go through the same rough path as well and not letting the children go alone.

If it weren’t because of her father, Geeta and Bambita would never ever felt such great feeling standing on the highest podium, with a gold medal on their neck, while hearing (and singing) their national anthem played in a world sport event around the world. Not only for their own pride, but the gave the glory to their country.

Mine was surely very far from what they achieved. But, the feeling of accomplishing something well after long and hard years of trainings, litre of sweat and tears, days and weeks of lack of goodnight sleep, ton of patience, determination, and strong persevereance, I was lucky to be able to feel such feeling thanks to my mother. One of the best feeling I have ever felt in my life.

Dangal told you something about raising a (champion) child : There’s no easy way to avhieve good results in parenting. If you feel it’s easy and relaxing, then it’s almost certain that you are not doing it right.

The children might have hard times to keep up with such parents. But, what I came to understand after being a parent, it was the parents who have a harder and the hardest times. Watching the father massaged the girls feet while they were sleeping, cooking them chicken so they could have more protein to fight well, staying close to the national camp so he could train them early in the morning, booking a whole cinema to watch all Geeta’s matches so he could analyze where she failed, and many more.

My mother had been through the same thing and might be harder. When Geeta and Bambita were surely talented, it wasn’t the case for me. No matter how often harsh comments she received from the teacher about how untalented I was, she swallowed it all and kept going.

Whenever exam period came, she woke me up at 3 am and accompanied me to practice until subuh. Then, twice a week, she sent me to the music school at 7 pm for repclass and my father would pick me up at 12 am. Midnight. For a whole two months every year. She was with me to go through everything until the very end.

I surely have a big doubt if I will be able to keep up with such boldness to my own children. To fight myself to do something right over something easy is a hard work. Even if I feel I have already done and tried hard, sometimes it is just myself who wants to justify the less-effforts work I have done.

So, If you haven’t watched it, Dangal is a recommended one to spend 2,5 hours of quality time with your family. It’s absolutely on my a must watch list to watch it with Langit later insya Allah.

Happy watching!

Sebelumnya saya pernah menulis tentang judul yang sama hanya saja tentang puasa sunnah di sini.

Alhamdulillah hari ini sudah (atau baru ya?) puasa hari ketujuh dan dalam minggu ini saya sempet dua kali olahraga dan masih menyusui. Kenapa mau nulis lagi, karena ternyata dari beberapa kata pencarian di sini banyak yang mau puasa waktu masih menyusui tapi ragu kuat atau ngga.

Puasa Ramadan itu puasa wajib, namun ada keringanan yang diberikan untuk yang ngga mampu menjalankannya karena fisik yang tidak memungkinkan. Ibu hamil dan menyusui (bisa) dimasukan dalam kategori ini, JIKA memang tidak memungkinkan.

Buat saya JIKA ya. Karena, kalau memang memungkinkan jelas puasa lebih baik. Ini tahun keempat saya puasa Ramadan ketika hamil dan menyusui.

2014

Tahun 2014, saya sedang hamil lima bulan dan saya berpuasa tiga puluh hari penuh dan lanjut ke enam hari puasa Syawal tanpa berurutan. Di tahun ini, pola buka puasa saya berubah setelah sekian lama. Dulu, saya ngga bisa buka langsung makan nasi. Sejak hamil ini, ketika buka minum teh sedikit, makan kurma, dan langsung makan nasi.

Biarpun ngga seberat itu, puasa dalam keadaan hamil juga bukan segampang itu karena ya lumayan juga bawa perut kemana-mana, kebetulan masih kerja juga di dua tempat seminggu lima kali, tiga hari diantaranya saya keluar rumah dua kali, pagi nyetir mobil, yang siang jalan kaki karena kebetulan tempat kerjanya dalam komplek rumah.

Energi yang keluar cukup besar buat saya, dan kalo buka dengan takjil dulu, nafsu makan saya keburu hilang dan malah bikin perut ngga enak. Makan nasinya jug bukan yang kalap ya, karena emang pas buka tu pas disirem teh anget aja udah terasa kenyang ngga sih? Saya iya😀.

Bisa puasa full 30 hari, saya lanjut puasa Syawal enam hari. Enaknya puasa pas hamil, ngga ada utang puasa! Saya dan keluarga menganut paham untuk puasa Syawal, hutang puasa wajib harus lunas dulu.

Perumpaan bayar hutang puasa Ramadan dulu baru puasa Syawal  seperti kita punya uang lima juta, antara mau sedekah tapi punya hutang juga. Jelas yang wajib dibayar hutang duluan, bukan sedekah. Setelah hutang lunas baru bisa dan boleh sedekah. Beberapa referensi yang saya baca juga menganjurkan seperti ini.

2015

Tahun 2015, saya puasa Ramadan ketika Langit masuk tujuh bulan dan baru awal-awal MPASI. Saya pikir hamil aja bisa tiga puluh plus enam, yang kali ini ngga akan lebih berat harusnya. Ternyata salah. Tujuh bulan memang sudah ngga ASI eksklusif ya, tapi frekuensi menyusui masih cukup intens. Makanan pendamping masih bersifat support ASI.

Puasa tahun ini buat saya yang paling berat. Awal MPASI masih sibuk cari-cari menu, kasih makan sehari tiga kali, nyiapin buka dan sahur untuk orang serumah, dan kerja. Saya lepas satu tempat kerja setelah melahirkan karena waktu yang ngga memungkinkan untuk tetap di dua tempat.

Lewat jam 12, rasa hausnya mulai dateng karena dari pagi sibuk ngurus semua, sambil menyusui langsung juga. Saat buka puasa, energinya hampir habis. Kenapa ngga batal? Menurut saya batal bukan solusi. Langitnya juga baik-baik aja. Alhamdulillah, saya dikasih istirahat seminggu ketika haid datang. Itu pertama kali saya haid setelah 1,5 tahun absen. Selama ASI eksklusif saya ngga haid sama sekali.

Masuk Syawal, saya mulai cicil bayar hutang. Tenyataaa, puasa di bulan Syawal lebih berat lagi dibanding puasa Ramadan. Mungkin entah karena suasana yang beda, dimana Ramadan lebih terasa santai, semua orang juga memang puasa, jadi ya biasa aja. Saya ngga bisa nyelesain puasa Ramadan saya di Syawal dan cuma bisa nyelesain tiga hari hutang puasa.

Saya sudah puasa sunnah senin kamis sejak tahun 2003. Berenti puasa ketika pas hamil 6 bulan keluar flek. Jadi sampe 6 bulan, saya masih sambil puasa sunnah ketika hamil. Rasanya biasa aja juga. Tapi, setelah melahirkan, lalu menyusui, saya ngga bisa balik puasa sunnah karena… ngga tahan laper karena menyusui😕. Niatnya mau puasa lagi abis Langit MPASI, tapi ternyata hati kurang kuat. Tunda lagi.

Akhirnya karena kesadaran yang sudah terus terganggu, berhasil juga balik puasa senin kamis di akhir tahun 2015. Selain mulai lagi puasa senin kamis, saya juga balik olahraga.
Enam bulan pertama MPASI, benar-benar menyita waktu dan energi. Saya vakum puasa dan olahraga selama enam bulan itu. Ngga heran badan saya kaya ikan paus dengan nafsu makan kaya kuda (karena babi ngga terdengar menyenangkan).

2016

Tahun 2016 Alhamduillah puasa sunnah udah balik normal lagi, olahraga rutin seminggu dua kali, masih terus nyusuin. Ketika Ramadan tahun 2016, saya tadinya mau tetap olahraga, tapi waktu itu saya belum keluar dari masa kegelapan ngasih makan. Langit masih makan diemut. Ngga ada energi sisa untuk olahraga juga, sementara puasa Ramadan wajib dan terus menerus selama sebulan. Jadi, break dulu olahraga sebulan.

2017

Tahun ini, Langit sudah 2,5 tahun dan saya masih menyusui. Iya, belum (berhasil) disapih. Saya lebih milih toilet training dulu, yang alhamdulillah sudah tercapai siang malam, tanpa kecelakaan. Menyusui memang ngga sesering dulu, tapi ya masih lumayan sering juga. Tapi, mungkin karena sudah biasa juga di puasa senin kamis, jadi puasa Ramadan sambil menyusui memang ngga terasa berat.

Selasa lalu saya pertama kali coba puasa, ikut kelas olahraga  dan tetap menyusui. Saya cuma ikut 45 menit karena saya ngga suka bagian latihan lantai. Kebetulan juga ada urusan lagi setelah itu. Sepanjang hari hingga buka, alhamdulillah ngga segitu haus kaya bayangan saya. Selain ngurangin waktu, saya juga sedikit ngerem di gerakan. Ketika high impact, saya sesuaikan aja.

Hari ini, saya olahraga lagi dan instruktur yang hari ini kebetulan puasa juga. Ternyata instruktur yang puasa lebih kejam dari yang ngga puasa. Saya sempet break dua kali. Terakhir dia pake lantai juga saya skip. Saya ngga suka lantai (sama sekali). Ngga papa de perutnya ngga rata.

Sepanjang hari rasa haus sih ngga seberapa, ngantuknya yang parah banget. Abis mandi langsung ketiduran tiga jam penuh😴😴😴.

Satu yang saya tanamkan di hati dan pikiran, puasa Ramadan yang paling penting dibanding olahraga dan untuk tahun ini, sudah lewat dua tahun, menyusui juga bukan wajib lagi (buat saya). Jadi, kalau tetap mau olahraga, harus tau diri juga.

Buat yang ragu, insya Allah puasa sambil hamil dan menyusui sangat mungkin dilakukan kok. Selain niat yang kuat, perlu juga atur kegiatan dan hal lain yang bisa meringankan puasa sambil ngurus bayi. Di hari saya olahraga dan puasa, makanan yang Langit suka wajib ada. Drama makan memang alhamdulillah udah lewat, tapi saya tetap cari aman.

Oya! Salah satu yang menurut saya wajib dilakukan adalah majukan waktu makan anak ketika puasa. Sesudah buka, energi sudah habis. Ngantuk pula. Belum mau solat tarawih juga. Kayanya ngga ada energi lagi kalo harus ngurus makanin anak. Karena saya dari awal Langit makan memang sudah menerapkan hal ini, jadi ketika puasa tinggal ikutin aja. Tiga kali makan besar, sudah harus selesai sebelum maghrib. Setelah maghrib, waktunya tidur untul Langit dan istirahat untuk saya.

Semua urusan yang berat saya selesaikan di pagi hari. Saya juga punya daftar menu makan untuk sahur,masak, takjil, dan makan malam yang saya buat per minggu. Jangan salah, perencanaan yang detil itu sangat menghemat energi lho. Apalagi selain ngurus bayi, saya juga harus ngurus tiga laki-laki lain. Alhamdulillah juga kerjaan rumah ada ART pulang pergi yang ngerjain.

Semoga yang berniat puasa selagi menyusui dan mau olahraga juga dimudahkan ya niat baiknya. Triple ibadah, insya Allah pasti dikasih jalan kalau memang benar-benar mau melakukan semua. Apalagi Ramadan yang cuma setaun sekali. Sayang kalo dilewatkan.

Sehar dan lancar semua puasa dan ibadah lainnya ya!