Category: Thoughts

Posted in Maternité, Thoughts

Motherhood’s Choices

Posted on by arlanadya

Life happens usually quiet for few weeks in 2017. Not that quiet actually. Been dealing with some exciting stuffs and hope everything goes well. Doing tons of reading about something you’re excited about is soothing and rewarding. There is always some new knowledge. 

The baby is doing fine. Getting chatty and smarter when it comes to get something that she wants through nagging, crying, and whining. Sometimes, it is hard to deal with.

I am not that kind of sweet,loving, and crafty mother type. I lose my patience often and regret it after (often too). It feels like the baby is having more patience than me. 

But then, the choice made to stay with my baby had been decided since long ago. I didn’t have any idea about being a (good) wife, but I am always in when it is about being a mother.

I decided long ago, I would be the main caregiver of my child(ren) once I signed up for parenthood. I have been never into career or office work. I knew I wanted to be a teacher since my elementary school days. Simply because I enjoyed those glorious six years of learning. I loved my teachers, my school, and felt so happy to be there. 

As I grew up older and had my first teaching job in my first semester of college, I was totally sold to teaching. It’s addictive and rewarding at the same time, more than just numbers or recognition.

Since I was also raised by a teacher, it gave more insights how this job doing to my mom’s parenting. It allowed her to be present for her children. Not the kind that always playing with the children or doing things together, but whenever we needed her, she was there.

She was a working mom as well. In our toddlerhood years, she took turn with my father. My father worked from morning till afternoon, went home then my mom left and worked until evening. She left two toddlers and a baby with my father. Left without no hassles. 

When we were left with our father, he didn’t need to do any messy things. My mom had done it all before she went for work. Basically, my father was only babysitting us and he could rest, as we had gone to bed as early as seven pm.

I worked full time few years ago and only survived for one and half years and switched to part time. It was one of the best decisions made. It felt so liberating. I could do more things I love other than teaching (working). I had more time for myself and turned out for my mother when she was sick.

I love money but I love free time more. It makes me happy when I am able to do my regular exercise in the morning, enjoying my breakfast religiously, not rushing here and there, not dealing with traffic jam every morning and afternoon, not being trapped in a building all day, having time to watch serials and korean dramas, and more, doing my prayers and religious things not in a tired condition. 

Having men and a baby to be taken care of is not an easy job. Can’t imagine how I could take care ones that matter for me the most while dealing with too much work outside.

When the baby came, I first had struggles to do those things while dealing with baby’s stuffs. But, as I highly needed those things to keep my sanity, so I put more efforts to have it. I reduced my working hours outside to gain some more peaceful time at home.

It’s a bless that I have been an early morning person thanks to my mother. I always woke up few hours before subuh to do stuff. Practicing piano at 3 am, learning for exams, and preparing breakfast. 

My mother had me and my sister took turn to prepare breakfast for the family since elementary school. It was up to us how we arranged it. Either one week straight or day by day. When piano exams months coming, I had to wake up even earlier so I could practice before breakfast. Breakfast is served before subuh in this house. I really want having what I had as a child once I am a mother.

Until now, it keeps going like that and the baby is surprisingly following the habit. She wakes up minutes before adzan, joins us for breakfast, having a tiny cup of tea or milk with fruit or bread, then sometimes she follows her dad to go to the mosque for subuh prayer, then joins me for Qur’an reading. Then, the real breakfast and the rest of the schedules are going as usual, more or less the same since she started eating. It’s funny remembering that I have been given almost all things that I want and what I have been picturing for a long time. 

Since the beginning of motherhood, I have been even given more. I didn’t trying hard to have vaginal birth since I had high d-dimer during pregnancy, I prepared more to have c-section, but it turned out I had vaginal one. I grew up with formula since birth,and I felt I had nothing against that so I prepared to do the same for my baby. Again, the more I read and know that there’s something better than that and worth to be fought for, I ended up breastfeed my baby up until now. Not yet succesful to wean.

For these two years, I couldn’t be more grateful to have the choice to stay with my baby. Choosing and having many things happened because of that choice are privileges that not everyone can afford. 

I stay at home most of the time while still able to have regular morning exercises class twice a week, go working for few hours three times a week, watch korean dramas daily, take care of my father and house stuff, not have to deal with traffic jam since my workplace is within walking distance and the other one is about 20-30 minutes driving. 

In the other side, I have a chance to witness how this little creature grows up day by day, from knowing nothing to lots of things, from being incapable of doing things until she masters some, being the one she turns to when she wakes up, feeding and taking care her with my own hands, and witnessing how some my habits (good and bad) followed by her precisely.

I absolutely earn much less money than pre-motherhood but alhamdulillah, it never feels less sufficient. It comes through any other ways beyond a human calculation. Putting money over things I consider more important turns out giving more than just larger amount in my bank account. I couldn’t count them enough. Really.

I choose to neglect my baby for a while and let her playing alone to write this, free of guilt. Even to the simplest choice, I believe there is no right or wrong in any motherhood choices we make. In the end, every mother is responsible for any choices that she makes in her life and the children’s. 

For the greatest responsibility that I consciously signed up and given perfectly, I choose one that I think the best way to bear the responsibility, which I consider most important. 

I hope to have the least regret in the future. Having too much absence, literally and unliterally, while I am still healthily present.
Then, time to go back to ‘work’ now.

Bonne journée!

Posted in Thoughts

New Year’s Wishes

Posted on by arlanadya

Bonjour!!

It’s been quite some times after the last post in 2016. New number on the calendar means another year closer to the expired date. Haha, such a gloomy first greeting😀

I stopped having certain clear resolutions after 2012. It was when my steps were finally slowing down after several years running fast, hard, and going here and there a lot. 2012 was the year of fulfilled-dreams. Years after that, life had been more of living the real life dealing with marriage and motherhood.

2016 gave some surprises beyond the wildest thought. Never thought that Paris was finally checked in 2016. The long awaited and most wanted Paris was granted beautifully. 

But then, nothing good comes easy. 2016 also gave one of the most unpleasant surprises. Some relationships meant to be changed due to some circumstances. I nearly forgot there had never been great things fulfilled without having some precious ones taken, like 2012 did to me.

When most people said 2016 was absolutely terrible, I came to say it was terribly great in both ways. Paris was equally worth the pain.
After the big three dreams were all accomplished, I don’t have much to be looked forward to for personal stuff. The wishes become more abstract. Motherhood becomes top priority. I am pretty much done with myself.

So, let’s pray for more strength and patience to be bestowed to go through whatever life brings this year. Health and wealth in true faith until the end.

Amin.

Posted in Langit Senja, Maternité, Thoughts

It’s Matched!

Posted on by arlanadya

I once wrote about five different things about Langit here.

Reading Pamela Druckerman’s Bringing Up Bébé can’t stop me from smiling. 

It explains precisely what I have been applying for these two years raising the baby, those all were done too in French parenting.

I also once wrote about this. It turns out that French gives more influences than I thought. 

After all, no wonder I love this country a lot.

Pamela Druckerman is an American mother who raises her daughter in Paris and found lots of fact how French children act differently from Americans,in a good way. 
Comparing to what happen in Indonesia, here is pretty similar with those American style. Reading this one will give another good point of view about parenting, which I have been doing and finding it works well with me. Very well. Not to say it is the best one, of course😊.

If you’re fond of any parenting books, try not to skip this one!

Posted in Maternité, Thoughts

School is (not yet) Cool

Posted on by arlanadya

Parenting provides many theories that will give you headache when you try your best to follow them. It sounds good and ideal when you read them, but when you go to the real practice, nah, no single good theories seem fit to every parenting. 

Combinations of parents situation, support systems, child preference, and many other things that make one thing works well with some while fails for others. School, baby school to be precise, is one thing that we thought before would work well for the baby but turned out it didn’t.

School here means a playschool. An hour a week, with parents involved. We thought she needed some interactions with other same age kids, and my sister in law recommended one that her child attended.

The first term we joined the class, it was far from our expectations. The baby was hardly enjoy the activities, less attentive facilitators, more, it gives me anxiety. While other families were busy doing what’s been instructed, I was busy chasing the baby here and there. More, le husband was rarely present due to his shift schedules. So, when others were at least a team of two or even three, I was often a solo fighter. Eight out of eight meetings, never once we skipped it. No matter how anxious I had been, I am never a quitter.

Finished one term, did we give up? No, we signed for another term, reluctantly ( for me). Thought it might be better since she had it for the second time. Thought she would and should have been more familiar with the activities, the class, and others.

The second term turned out to be … not any better. It made at least both of the mother and baby felt tired enough. I decided to stop coming after six meetings. We had had enough. 

After she turned two few last weeks, the schooling idea was brought up again, more from her dad, to make the verbal skill better. I have been torn in between. In spite my hesitations here and there, I didn’t just sit around and wait. I visited nearby daycare and pre-school, asked about their programme, and sadly, not one suited me. Instead of explained what they have, do,and offer there, they went with the numbers we should pay first. Such a major turn off.

Last week, she had a trial in another one with le husband while I was working and the result was pretty much same. She couldn’t stand being inside for quite some time, doing any sitting activities, but survived well in the playground.

I am getting more and more certain, she hasn’t been into and ready for school yet.

I decided and had it pictured from a long time ago, once I am a mother, I will stay with my child while working for several hours, in certain days. Lucky enough, the wish is granted. I work three days a week, for maximum of four hours, in a close distance workplace from home. Even one of them is within walking distance.

I strongly believe, no matter what and how, the best nurture in early life of a child comes from the mother. I believe the baby’s first and best school is the one at home with the mother. Even in Islam, it says the children first madrasah (school) is mother. No matter how lazy,ignorant or whatever bad things the mother has, guess no mothers want their child to be lack of something. Same goes with me.

I might be not that expert, nor patient, but I surely care about my own baby. Taking care the baby alone pushes me to read and read more. Combine it with my own intuition, up to now, we’re doing good. Alhamdulillah. I dare say, except the verbal skill, the baby is somehow doing differently well from others, like these and this.

I have been pushing myself to go out more often,bring the baby to groceries, driving somewhere nearby, enjoying ice cream at the restaurant, just two of us alone. Surprisingly, I enjoy it a lot. Even more pleasant, the baby seems happy too. We sing during driving, mentioning name of things, or eating snacks. She sits nicely next to the driver, me.

We have a singing time every Wednesday morning. Sing the children songs while I am playing piano. She is able to sit only up to four songs, the rest she is doing it while going here and there.

Then, today I found a very good reading that matched my questions about sending a baby this age to school. The answers bring my confidence back and happy that what I believe is something that I can still hold on to.

The current best school for my baby is still at home, with me.

Have a good read on this one!

Posted in Past learning, Thoughts

The Other Side of November

Posted on by arlanadya

Like everything in this world, there’s always two sides of something. So is November. After the happy occasion, then we move to the other side.

It’s been four years, yet it still can’t be helped to remember every details without flowing tears. A dark rainy afternoon made the pain felt more hurt and real. As if the sky was crying a lot with her gone.

The one who set the standard how one should live. Do your best, dream and make it real, finish what you have started, give a lot, trust your own self and your God the most, don’t take what is not yours, and know how to feel enough with what you have and been given. 

The one who had the honour to left exactly two weeks after Hajj, paid her zakat, fasting for five days, done ashar prayer, and recited syahadat. 


The one who really showed the best way one should live and the most wanted way one would return.

The woman I call mother.

In this life, I have so many things I have been so grateful for. Being my mom’s daughter was, is, and will always be on the top of my list.

It’s greater than gratefulness. It’s an honour to be given birth, raised, and loved by her.

Sending my best prayer for the one I love the most.

Till we meet again, bu…

Posted in Places, Thoughts, Travel

7 Days in Paris (With A Toddler)

Posted on by arlanadya

It’s been quite some times this one is saved on the draft. It is not a typical clean, straight, and easy to read itinerary. Too wordy. This one is for me to remember.
Why do I put the words on the bracket? Because, the places we chose to visit, when and where also  halfly decided according to the baby. We decided to visit some places in the last minutes.

We started wandering from the very first day we set the foot in Paris. We went out twice a day daily. The morning trip was for main attractions while the afternoon one for the ones within walking distance from our appartment, or just short trip by bus. 

We had a break during morning and afternoon, resting and lazing around while doing photos posting and also prayed once our jama qashar time had expired on the third day. 

We went out around 8.30-9.00 until 13.00 – 14.00, had a break until ashar around 16.00-16.30, then continued wandering until maghrib, around 18.00-18.30. During our stay, daylight saving time, the changing time from autumn to winter happened, so the pray time also became an hour earlier, so was our afternoon trip. 

(Half) Day 1 – afternoon trip only

11.30 : arrived at Charles de Gaulle. 14.00 : check-in, cleaning,resting. 15.30 : first wander around neighbourhood and happened to arrive at Sorbonne University. Then, we stopped by at Franprix for small groceries.

Day 2

Morning trip

9.15 : Monge Mutualité bus stop to Eiffel Tower.

We spent time around park Champ de Mars, the yard in front of Eiffel Tower taking pictures, then crossing the street and found a carousel near Pont d’Iena. Played with Langit for one round, then climbed up to Trocadero.

We proceeded to the unfamous Rue Clér where le husband wanted to see a pop up market and ended up resting in one of the cafe enjoying baguette and hot tea.

14.00 : Back to appartment

Afternoon trip

16.30 : heading to Pantheon by walk. It was close to closing time and our intention was to buy Museum Pass for visiting Louvre and Versailles on the next following days.

Museum Pass is available in almost all museums and main attractions. It is available based on the days validity, either 2 days, 4 days, or 6 days. We only bought for two days. Honestly, I halfly regreted it. 96 euros for two persons couldn’t be used effectively. I prefered use the rest of it for more food or anything else. Never mind, anyway.

From Pantheon, we were heading home and accidentally found a small book store in a smal alley where we stopped for a while. I found some interesting children pop up books. I adore pop up books and ended up went home with three of them.

We then wandered along Boulevard Saint Germain. Watching people, taking pictures, enjoying the lively Latin Quarter. I am not into crowd, but really, I love Latin Quarter. It was crowdy in a pleasant way, for me. Listening the noise of people talking French, I love that sound!


Day 3

Morning trip

8.45 : Heading to Jardin Tuilleries and Musée du Louvre

We took a breath and wandered aroun Jardin Tuilleries for  a while. Rows of autumn trees with morning sunlight were so amazing. It was quite cold and we had a smokey breath.

We arrived at Louvre and luckily skipped the long line. Not because of we had Museum Pass with us but the baby. We went straight to the middle door while having the people stared at us.

Enjoying Louvre for only two sections. Middle age and Islamic Art. I have never been into any art or museums actually. But, Louvre has quite stunning collections. We also saw the reverse triangle before heading to Printemps.

Done with Louvre, we went out and had a lunch nearby. Then, we crossed the street and waited for the bus to Notre Dame. It took quite a while until the bus came, so Langit and I enjoyed playing on the bridge while watching ferries passed by The Seine. I don’t know why, I love watching Seine. Just stood up and watched felt pretty soothing.

13.00 : Notre Dame

We lined up for this one, but of course the line wasn’t as long as Louvre. Surprisingly, there was no entrance ticket checking although we had the Museum Pass with us. 

In Notre Dame, we were just having a round tour. Since I am not going to church, so I didn’t find any particular interest for it. Beside, it was pretty dark inside, so we hadn’t be able to see and actually understand well what had been shown there.

After Notre Dame, we went home by walk.

Afternoon trip

16.30 : Jardin du Luxembourg

The second Jardin for today. Jardin du Luxembourg is a large and beautiful one. Langit enjoyed playing, running, chasing bird, and she was so eager to jump to the pond where some ducks were enjoying their afternoon. We stayed there until the gate almost closed at 18.00. 



Day 4

Morning trip

8.10 : heading to Chateau de Versailles.

It was Saturday morning and we had planned in advance to go north west to Versailles. Versailles is located outside Paris and we needed to take RER C train to get there. We catched the 8.30 bus from Clunny La Sorbonne metro station.

RER train is above my expectation. I thought it is just like KLIA express. But, it turned out bigger and more spacious. It is a double decker train. For departing trip, we chose the below seats while chosed the upper ones for return. The train was quite empty. The fare is slightly higher than metro. For return tickets, we paid 14 euros for 2 persons.

Versailles is one that I was really eager to visit. I read a lot about it, had it pictured in my head about how beautiful it is. Many forums said although the line would be quite long, it would be worth the time doing it. So, I was so full of hope.

Sadly, it was only one third came true. On that Saturday, it was pretty full. The line was quite tolerable, but not the tourists. Specifically, those pretty loud, annoying large group of tourists from China. There were a lot of them, liked taking selfies in almost every pictures, and really, so unpleasant. I skipped rooms where I saw a bunch of them inside. We went around to the King’s room and the main palace. It was surely beautiful. We skipped the park since the museum pass didn’t include the park. Another 9 euro per person is needed to enter the park. Thank you, 18 euros can be saved for a good lunch.

It was colder in Versailles than Paris. So, we finished the main palace, rested for a moment in one of the benches while sipping hot chocolate and sandwich we brought, then went back to metro station for another RER train riding to Paris.

10.30 : back from Versailles and heading to Centre Pompidou
This one was my husband’s idea knowing our museum pass would be expired this day. I was quite against it since I knew that none of us were really into art, let alone modern art. When we saw the queue, I was getting more uninterested. So, we canceled and just wandered around the area while searching places for lunch. We ended up having an outdoor lunch on.

13.00 : Back to the apartment

Afternoon Trip

16.30 : Shakespeare Company and street musician watching around Notre Dame.

Shakespeare Company had been one of a must visit for me and le husband for a different reason. I am Before trilogy shipper and this book store is the place where Jesse and Celine meet again in Before Sunset. While le husband’s reason is the book store is where Hemingway published his first book.

The book store is very small. There was a short queue in front of its door because the number people inside is being limited. We didn’t line up. Next to the book store, it has the cafe. We planned to sit and enjoy some coffee, but it was full.

So, we walked nearby and decided to enjoy the almost evening in one of the bridge with Notre Dame view, watching street musician, sitting on the bench,eating chocolate, and enjoying the sunny autumn breeze. 

Doing merely those simple things, in a place I have been longing for long time, made my heart so full.

18.00 : stopped by at Mason George Larnicol Macarons.

On the way home, we stopped by to buy our first macarons in Paris. We once wanted to buy Ladurée in Versailles. But, it was too expensive and we couldn’t buy it for one or two pieces. We had to buy a pack of eight for 16 euros. Olala, c’etait trop chér pour nous. Two euros for a small macaron, I’d rather go for two pieces of small croissants.

When we passed George Larnicol, it was quite full and the writing on the glass wal said we could buy one or two and it costed only 0,7 euro per piece. Ouiiii, trés bon!! I ended up buying eight and paid 5,6 euros for them. One third from Ladurèe’s. The best part was, they were all good. All flavors were really good. Coffee, chocolate, lemon, and strawberry. 

The baby was sleeping when we bought it, then woke up found her parents were munching something and left her behind. We planned to divide the macarons four for each of us. In fact, I ate two, while le husband and the daughter ate three.

Day 5

Morning trip

08.30 : Heading to Pére Lachaise Cemetry then proceed to Bastille.

Here is where some famous ones like Chopin, Jim Morisson were buried. It is a very large area of cemetry. The ambience was far from creepy and somehow, peaceful. The sound of bird chirping, the sunny autumn breeze were perfect. We took turn to go to certain tomb we would like to visit since the road was not suitable for stroller. The baby was sleeping. I paid my respect to Chopin while le husband paid to both Chopin and Jim Morisson.

Done with the deads, we had a very looonggggg walk to Bastille. It was Sunday, the bus was quite rare. So, le husband suggested that we better took a walk instead of waiting for the bus. What he didn’t tell me it would be a very long and far. I had my face changed from smiley to wrinkled and grumpy. I love walking in Paris. It has no sweat, make us warm, and enjoying the scenery by our own pace. No rush.

BUT, not that far. More, le husband just wanted to see a market. A Sunday market. While I was so impatient to go to… Champ Éllysées.

We didn’t stay for long in Bastille. Bought a croissant and macarons there and the baby rode on a carousel which a failed one. She cried hard once it was running. Surprised because she was there alone, without me or her dad. 

11.30 : Heading to Champ Éllysées

It was one of the rare chance if metro riding. It took no line changing from Bastille to Champ Éllysées and quite a lot stops. So, it was worth the hassle climbing up and down the stairs carrying a stroller and a baby.

We arrived at the world most famous shopping avenue and got into a Disney Store to meet my sister’s request. Champ Éllyesées is such an eye candy. Famous brands are on the left and right side. The scent is surely different. But, guess it wasn’t my happy place. Too crowd and stuffy. 

We had a lunch at Brioche Dorée after couldn’t stand the queue at McDonald. Honestly, I wasn’t good to have my precious euros spent on McD. Glad we found Brioche Dorée and very very satisfied with everything that we eat. Tuna sandwich,  Pizza Poulet Curry, a croissant, and hot chocolate. 

We walked along Champ Éllysées until we saw the grandeuse Arc de Triomph, another Paris iconic monument. It was a clear blue sky when we took some pictures of it while waiting for the bus to back home.

That day also daylight saving time happened. The hour becomes an hour late as the result of season transition from autumn to winter. It changes the prayer time too. We rushed to go home thinking zuhur time was almost up. It turned out my watch still showed the old one.

Afternoon Trip

16.15 : Monoprix second visit and shoes searching.

We spent the afternoon trip by walking along Boulevard Saint Germain looking for shoes, for me and some affordable things for the family. We stopped by at Monoprix to buy some food. Entered few shoes store but ended up with nothing. I always buy when it only suits me in everything. Other than that, I skip it.

Day 6

Morning trip

08.30 : Grande Mosquée de Paris and Jardin des Plantes

The mosque is one of our must visit.     It is located in a quiet neighbourhood in 6th arrondisement. When we visited there, we were the only visitor. We did two rakaat prayer there.

Done with the mosque, Jardin des Plantes is only in another turn. I really envy these Parisiens for having lots of beautiful Jardin around their city. Jardin des Plantes, though is not as beautiful as Luxembourg and Tuileries, still, enjoyable.  A group of oldies was doing a light exercise there. We strolled around slowly and stopped by the bench, sipping our hot chocolate.

10.00 :  Heading to Rue de Commerce

We decided to visit Rue de Commerce in an instant, knowing the nearest metro stasion is the line that took us directly to Rue de Commerce. Such a good coincidence.

Rue de Commerce is located in 15th arrondissement where many small shops are available, which these were more suitable for us than Champ Éllysées. We strolled from one corner to the other, entered almost every shoes stores in the right and left side. Finally, le husband went home with a pair of black suede ankle boots and I brought a man’s leather sling bag for my father with a very decent price with such good quality. My shoes were still not available there.

Afternoon Trip

We didn’t go to any particular places this afternoon. We decided to sit and relax enjoying a crepe in one of an outdoor cafe nearby. Living as Parisiens felt so good.

Day 7

Morning Trip

08.30 : Heading to Galeries Lafayette and Opera

We previously wanted to see Montparnasse Tower. But, after some discussions, we decided to visit Galeries Lafayette and Opera. Galeries Lafayette is a large Department Store located in 9 arrondissement. It wasn’t opened when we arrive there and it was quite unbelievable that people were queuing in EACH of its entrance waiting for the door to be opened. Most of them were Chinese mainland tourists. It was so packed.

I decided to cross the street and looked for the shoes in a less crowded store. Then, after days of searching, it was over. I found mine on the strees across Galeries Lafayette. Done with my shoes, we still went inside the department store to look what it is like.

The famous expensive brands were all there. Another queue happened in the famous Louis Vitton store. It was enjoyable sight seeing, watching people patiently lined up just to buy things with the famous brand. No, it’s not cynical at all. For me, it was something pleasant to see since I guess I would never do such thing even if I had the ability to buy it one day. But then, who knows?;)

We decided to have lunch at the restaurant next to our apartment for our last lunch in Paris. This restaurant was almost always full whenever we passed by. We had a very delicious Chicken Basque with a very big portion there.

Afternoon trip

I had a solo walk for the afternoon trip to the souvenirs shops near Notre Dame while the baby and le husband were spending time in the park nearby. I followed them to the park when I was done. 

Walking alone on the last evening in this beautiful city felt quite sentimental. It had been a very great pleasure to be there. Staying in one of the most lively yet less touristy boulevard, in a nice small apartment that we loved so much, were beyond what we expected to have. 

When others say Parisiens are not friendly, we had been met with those friendly ones. Wherever we went, whatever we asked, we had met the nice ones. Really.

I wonder if my mum could see how happy I had been for those past 7 days from up there. My heart felt like bursting out of happiness.

Those twenty something years of waiting to set my foot in this city was truly paid off beyond my best expectation.

After all, dreams are meant to be executed. The feeling of having all three big dreams executed very well is incredible.

I think I can live and survive any hardships in the future by remembering these great journeys for the rest of my life.

Master degree abroad 2012 : checked.

Hajj 2012 : checked.

Paris 2016 : checked.

​

“And  when you have a dream, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it. It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting”.

Paulo Coelheo, The Alchemist.

Thank you for your great conspirations, Universe.

Posted in Past learning, Thoughts, Travel

A closing

Posted on by arlanadya
    Ah, so we finally arrive at the end of the trip. I have so much to say but couldn’t describe well what I feel.

    This trip arguably is one of the most magnifique one I have ever had. I couldn’t express how much grateful I have been for the past four months, more, for the past eight days I spend here. 

    I enjoyed every steps, every little and big things I saw, every scent I smelt, every words in the language I spoke, every single things happened during the journey in this city.

    There were no easy way to achieve all three dreams. All three had its own hardships, cruel twists, rocky roads, but then, they were all paid off once I was living it. 

    After two years of searching the possible and suitable universities to pursue master degree abroad, Allah sent me to the closest one from home. He knew I couldn’t survive being too far from home for a long period. A part of my heart left in Kuala Lumpur and Selangor. First dream : checked.

    Although I have visited Mecca and Medina twice before, it was on another level when you did it for Hajj. Started saving nine years before the journey, confirmed to be going five years later, and finally went Hajj four years ago (please do the math on your own). A greatest journey, to the greatest place in the world, to the centre of a human’s heart. Second dream, Mecca for hajj : checked.

    The last one has the longest waiting, the furthest distance, the hardest and lots of requirements, the most expensive expenses, and the least help resources available. 

    Once the ticket confirmly booked, the longer path was waiting until the end of the tunnel. Everything was planned without any experts, no wonder though sometimes it was frustrating, it also felt very satisfying. We absolutely did everything from the scratch. 

    When the steps touched every corner of this city, saw all those places by  the very own eyes, walked     around and got lost until the smallest alleys, found a hidden gem where few euros where spent, met the very charming parisiens, greeted by ‘bonjour’ and saying ‘au revoir’ almost everywhere, the heart couldn’t stop crying and spelling thank you for finally  having this dream came true. 

    Re-read this post and smiled. The one and only Paris for the third dream, in the most favorite season : beautifully checked.

    I have three big dreams and had all those three checked greatly.
    Half of me now really can rest in peace. I am completely done with my self.

    The other half part is about passing and teaching this ability to my daughter.

    The ability to live diligently and have good things to pursue, work very hard to make it happen, patiently waiting for the result, stand up again and again after failures, and believe that she will really get there one day.

    I am what I am now because of what my parents showed me. Nothing less. There will be no dreams at all without them taught me.

    I praised Allah endlessly for fulfiling all those three and thanked both my parents whole-heartedly for raising me to the best possible path one could ask for and having their enourmous support to achieve whatever their children want to pursue.

    Thank you for such a great and pleasant journey with all the lessons, Paris. I absolutely have a nice stay.

     I’ll see you again, one day.

    À bientot!

    The best and the last lunch out in a French restaurant.
    ​

    The last evening at Boulevard Saint Germain intersection

    Croissant and coffee for the last breakfast at the cafe which won the 1st place for the best baguette in Paris 2016
    ​

    Last sunset in Charles de Gaulle as the sign end of a day, as well as the trip.
    ​

    Glad to be back home.

Posted in Places, Thoughts, Travel

About Paris III : The Choices

Posted on by arlanadya

Everyone has their own way to enjoy their holiday and nothing’s wrong with that. Being in one of the city which has lots of museums for couple of days, is not necessarily makes me visit all those famous museums.

I enjoy parks a lot. So, visiting Jardin du Luxembourg, Jardin des Tuilleries, and soon Jardin des Plantes and any small parks is compulsory. I love eating and good food, so the money often goes to local food we try. Enjoying quiche lorraine, macarons Maison George Larnicol, Lamb Kebab from Resto de Louvre, Falafe du Liban, and next choosing the best croissant near Boulevard Saint Germain. I spent money happily for that. 

I really love good shoes (with reasonable price), so I spent days going in and out to almost every shoes stores available in Boulevard Saint Michel, Boulevard Saint Germain, Rue Four, Rue de Rivoli, and any other small Paris street and it makes me happy (blessed my husband and my baby who were patiently waiting). Enjoying all the sceneries along the way during the walk, the smell of coffee and bread from the outdoor cafes, so pleasant.
 
I am not into art or too much of history. So, I skipped the famous Museum Rodin or Picasso any those museums that I don’t really understand. I feel it is unwise to spend the precious time and money for something I don’t enjoy.

So, in the end, holiday should be spent with those things we cherish a lot. There’s no must this and must that. You put lots of efforts to go to your dream places, make sure the efforts paid off by being happy and satisfied with the result of your efforts.

A bientôt! 

Posted in Thoughts, Travel

About Paris II : Full

Posted on by arlanadya

Went around to more places yesterday and still felt so incredible whenever these eyes and feet arrived in each places that have been longed to visit and only be seen from the book and pictures.

Those beautiful gardens with breath taking autumn colors, the stunning glass pyramid, the old cathedral of the hunchback, and the river where Moon River sung and Kang Tae Young often daydreamed.

Having lots of walk to those places until the feet felt like jellies, the back ached, the hand felt very cold, yet the heart is absolutely warm.

As an absolute introvert who loves staying at home, going this far is surely something. Nothing will really move this heart to go so far, unless it is something really worth, important, and loved. And when I do it, I do it whole-heartedly.

When people have days to visit Europe, surely they won’t stay in one city for long. They will have at least two or three to visit. Decide to use all days in one city is  bit wasted.

But, for me, in spite those conditions that prevent me, if I were going alone and had the same days available, guess I would still use all those days in this city.

This city is worth every pain years of waiting, every efforts made, and every failures happen during the making of the efforts.

It’s lucky I chose you, Paris. You should be honoured.
Thank you for the very warm welcome. I am full (of happiness).

Posted in Favorite things, Life happens, Past learning, Places, Thoughts, Travel

The Third Longest Dream Unlocked, First Ilana Trip : Autumn in Paris

Posted on by arlanadya

Waiting for today feels like forever since last June. Looking back to all things happened in the last four months make the heart almost exploded of mixed emotions felt.

Let’s go through the past tunnel first, shall we?

Right after the first umra when I was 19, three goals were set to be accomplished before married :

1. Master degree abroad

2. Going Hajj

3. Going to this city

The first two were checked in the same year of the marriage, but not the third one.

This city has been My constant stomachache. Having the language teacher at home made me really familiar about this city. The books were everywhere. The language was also daily spoken. One or two or three words were often used whenever we discussed something.

First time learned the language at 11. Then, it was on and off. During high school, this was one of an elective subjects for two years. Maybe, other than me, no one enjoyed this subject at all.

It has been come closer for several chances. When we visited Manchester in 1994, we had BeNeLux and this country visa with us. Sadly, chicken pox stopped us from going. In 1996, the teacher was sent for a month summer course, but again, joined her was out of option.

The dream was off for quite some times.

Then, I started working on it seriously in 2008. It was a thought of accomplishing number one and three in one shot. Master degree in this country or other countries nearby. Wherever it would be, as long as it was getting closer to number three would be fine.

Had been applying lots of universities in The Netherlands and England and received quite offering letters. Sadly, the scholarship wasn’t available. Back then, scholarships were not widely available. Not to say I would surely get it, but at least could give it a try.

Since Europe was quite hard, then the plan was revised. Instead of doing number one and three, the focus and resources were all used on number one first. It worked better than having two things at the hands. Number one was checked in 2011, after almost two years of searching.

In 2011, life happened a lot. The wedding planning had started rolling. The chance of having number three done before the wedding day was getting thinner. While number two was confirmed, number three was too far to be seen.

In 2011 also, the news of the teacher sent to one of the city in that country broke my heart a lot. She actually supposed to go the previous year, but she had to unveil herself. She refused and declined the offer. Unbelievably, the chance came once more on the following year. This time, she was told that she could keep her veil. So, she did go. As if this opportunity was chasing her until she said yes.

What made it was pretty heart-breaking, it was me who had been trying hard for almost two years, but why it seemed the teacher, who didn’t do anything to go, was the one who could go. It wasn’t fair at all.

Right after Hajj, a month after, it was the wedding day. The hope of accomplishing all three had totally gone. The chance of going within visible time was pretty zero, with le husband’s residency on the running. Until the wedding day, when the teacher was no longer here, number three was still left untouched.

Two years after marriage, the baby came. The hope was even more fading. Let alone that far, going somewhere near for couple of hours now is even not easy knowing this little baby is waiting at home. In the wildest and worse thought, number three was halfly given up. Although, the thought of dying without going there gave me a broken heart.

God has always had a funny, unexpectable, and mysterious way in fulfilling our wish. This year fasting month brought a greater blessing than we expected.

It started when the idea of homecoming to Solo was popped. Since le husband is already in his last year of residency, the schedule has been quite loose. For the first time in four years, we went for a trip by plane. Although the cost made our saving screamed a lot.

Right after bought the homecoming tickets, an idea to check the cost of number three ticket came into mind. Did it as a guilty pleasure, like I have always been doing whenever remembering number three.

Checking several airlines, it turned out one of them currently had some promos. As the curiousity was getting higher, destination and some dates were typed. Nothing serious, just wanted to check how much it would cost.

When the monitor displayed the price for two adults and an infant, the first reaction was…numb.

Such price, return, for three person? Seriously?

It might be not that cheap, but calculating quickly on my head, it was doable. At least, affordable for us. The dates input had been chosen, according to my schedule.

Couldn’t help staring at the monitor for some time. The tab had been opened for a whole day. Went to bed sighing and thinking, it would be still impossible.

The day after had never been the same. It made me checking the website every single day. Reading a lot of reviews. Comparing to almost every airlines possible. Discussing things with le husband, my father, and also my saving account.

For at least 12 days ahead, I had numerous disturbed sleeps. While le husband kept telling me just clicked and bought the tickets, while the courage was there. Telling me that I had been longing for this too long. Maybe it is really the time.

The courage came after sahoor in Ramadhan. The tickets were bought. Never in my life I spent money that much on something. For a stingy person like me, the amount spent was too scary.

Strangely, this time, instead of guilt, it felt good.

Those tickets bought were the first real thing I have done about number three. Although few months later I am still paying the debt for it, it is worth all the pain of having debt for.

The next morning, passports were being registered online and after two weeks, the new passports were ready. Passport done, the next step was one of the most important things about number three. One process which sucked almost your energy, time, and money : Visa application.

Preparing for visa was one of the most exhausting yet enriching steps about number three. It made me do lots of reading, if not to say too much reading. Almost all available articles, with any possible keywords were being read. Made sure I didn’t miss anything for my visa documents so it would be approved or before that, at least no document missing when we came to submit it.

One week after documents submission, the passports were returned. Opened the sealed envelope in front of the locket, opened the passport and… the stamp was there.

It was really there until I really wanted to cry.

The visa was there.

My permission entry to enter this country was granted.

Then, (Maybe), it is really the time.

———————
For me, it’s not a simply mere vacation. Nor an ordinary family trip.

It feels like going for another smaller Hajj. Going to the place which make your heart beating fast and has been giving you a constant stomach ache for almost three fourth of your life.

The place where you almost read everything about that, speaking the language (trying hard) like its people, knowing something about this place more than any common knowledge.

When usually people are having at least two or three countries to visit with their visa during their travel time, I (we) decide only to visit this one country, in this one city. I won’t be a hopping tourist. (Well, it’s actually a soft translation of the money is limited;))).

This one might sound too mainstream for many people, but not to me. It’s the place where some parts of the teacher’s soul lived. By the teacher, I have been talking about my mother.

The teacher who had been teaching me not only about the country and its language, but the more importantly, she taught us about having dreams and working on it until we make it.

Half of this journey, maybe about showing her up there, this time, I finally make it for my third biggest dream. She knew for sure I have been longing number three since a very young age. Sadly, she is not here to cheer with me like the previous two. But, I hope she would be proud to see everything that I have done to make this one real.

The initial plan was going alone, strolling here and there, taking pictures, resting for coffee and cake near the river, shopping till the wallet drop, visiting places on the list every single day all day long, having a day trip to the nearest cities, and many more of self-pleasing things. An ultimate self trip to end my 20s.

It turns out I am going with another two people. One of them is a baby, which gives me a lot of concern. Double and triple preparations, while having less and lower expectation. Instead of the strong 20s, it’s the less agile 30. God truly gives all my dreams checked, according to His will, not mine.

Dream then work on it to the fullest, I am the one who will decide the result, He said.

Then, let’s accept the result.

To the city where my heart has been constantly wrenching for after Mecca and Medina, here I come. I’ll see you there, Mom.

October 25, 2003 : the departure day of the journey when the three dreams were set.

October 25, 2016 : the departure day of the third and longest dream.

Missions accomplished.

Bismillah, off we go.

My First and Second are here.