Posted in Thoughts, Travel

Till Next Time, Amsterdam.

Amsterdam was involuntarily included in the itinerary because of what happened here.

A few months back, some of my weeks were spent by constantly fixing the itinerary. Amsterdam made it more complicated. Based on my research, it wasn’t compulsory, BUT, if you’re being asked in the first border you entry and you couldn’t prove you would travel to the visa issued country, then, you might lose bigger and more than what you can pay by playing safe.

I didn’t only read a bulk of articles. I asked around almost ten travelers on social media, about this case. I also asked travel agents who do the visas. It was 70-30. Seven said it might be fine but just be prepared, the rests said it was too risky.

Up until a week before, I hadn’t bought the ticket for the new itinerary, because of the price was too high for one way trip. I was still thinking, we could just try our luck by leaving Amsterdam behind. There were actually lots of alternatives, much cheaper ones, BUT, with another transit and less reliable airlines. A two hours flight becomes five? I didn’t think we could handle another transit. Flying with unreliable airlines after constant airport moving in 48 hours? I didn’t think that was wise. Train wasn’t doable this time. Bus was available, but 8 hours in a bus? I wasn’t available for that.

I finally clicked the payment button and forgot the rest.

It’s hard to a judge a city where you only spent 6 hours went around and few hours of sleeping.

But, from what I saw, I wasn’t impressed like the first time I set my feet in Paris.

A brief stop was fine. Maybe next time, Amsterdam

Hoping to stay longer and learn how the happiest kids in the world do, according to the research.
Compulsory Amsterdam selfie
The city where the cyclists rule
The city canals
The journey, not the arrivals, matters, said TS Elliot.

What happened in the first EU Border we landed? Safely passed without a single question. No passport checking anymore after that, not even bother to check whether we had the visa or not from the colors of our passports. In my case, no one cares whether we stop by in Amsterdam or not. Even in our main destination, no more passport control. What I understood before, it wasn’t a problem if you travel through the land, but, by plane might be different. It turned out if you travel around Schengen countries, you won’t through any immigration anymore after the first one. Only the security check.

Did I regret the decision? Not really, another review post would do.

If anyone ask me whether they should take the risk by not traveling to the visa issuing country, my answer would be :

Handle your own risk. Basically, it’s not wrong since your visa is valid to enter all those countries . But, if we truly can, let’s show some courtesy to the one who gives the entry.

Posted in Thoughts

Travel Rants

Last Sunday to Tuesday was one of the longest 48 hours this year. Four flights, four different cities (because the necessities), minor to major delays, it was hard to believe we did it safe and sound, with some back (and b*tt) pain.

This trip shows no words could describe how traveling could bring so many life discomforts yet couldn’t help entertain them if an opportunity knocked.

This time, we traveled out of the normal one we do due to several reasons and twists that came along the way.

The sudden change of plans for the last four months, the sudden notifications at the last minute that pushed the brain to think harder than before, the countless zikr spelled, the pain all over the face as usual due to the change of weather, numerous bathroom trips all over the flights, yet, I will still choose to do it all over again once all those things became the past.

If it’s not love, then I don’t know what it is.

What I learn, you want to travel with the right companions. Not only one with the same vision but also one with different functions. When one is good at one thing, the other should cover the other area. Like when one is good at dealing with little details, the other one should be good at taking care of big problems. When one is highly anxious, the other two must be cool and chill.

Another advice: travel light and free when you’re young and blessed with the time and energy, travel comfortably when you’re older when you have the money.

It made sense why Islam strongly recommends us to be rich when I had to deal with the long queue on the few last rows to get out of the plane in the midnight to catch another flight within 15 minutes.

Posted in Travel, Visa

(Drama) Mengurus Visa Schengen dari VFS Belanda Jakarta

Terakhir kali mengurus visa Schengen kurang lebih 7 tahun lalu itu di TLS Contact via Prancis..

Sebenarnya di tahun 2020, sempat urus visa Schengen juga di London buat ke Paris. Sudah submit dokumen dan paspor, tapi akhirnya semua dibatalkan karena pandemi. Setelah 2020, traveling ke Eropa terasa jauh. Tapi karena vakum traveling jauh, alhamdulillah rejekinya bisa dipakai untuk dua hal penting yang sudah diniatkan sejak lama.

Awal tahun ini, tiba-tiba ada kesempatan untuk urus Schengen sekali lagi. Kali ini urus via Belanda, karena ngga sengaja.

Cari tanggal appointment Schengen sekarang susahnya luar biasa.

Tujuan utama trip kali ini adalah nemenin Pak Dokter yang ada short course di Porto. Jadi, harusnya lewat VFS Portugal. Setelah pencarian yang ekstensif, satu-satunya maskapai yang langsung ke Portugal (transit di ibukota negara maskapainya dulu tentunya) itu hanya maskapai negara Turki.

Berdasarkan pengalaman 7 tahun lalu, naik maskapai tersebut kurang pas. Selain karena durasi flightnya yang panjang, sekarang pun masih dan makin ngga pas liat harganya yang kok mahal banget buat ke Porto. Sebenarnya maskapai lain juga ada tapi harus dua kali transit yang total lama perjalanannya bisa dua hari dengan waktu transit yang panjang.

Setelah berhari-hari atau mungkin sampai sekitar dua tiga minggu dengan pencarian dan perhitungan yang intens, akhirnya diputuskan rutenya akan menjadi Jakarta-Paris naik maskapai timur tengah yang transit di Abu Dhabi. Keluar dulu, transit di CDG 8 jam, lalu dengan maskapai Eropa langsung dilanjutkan Paris-Porto di hari yang sama. Ini adalah pilihan yang paling ideal dengan harga dan waktu yang masuk akal.

Ternyata, saat ini, sangat direkomendasikan buat cari dulu tanggal appointmentnya yang sesuai rencana keberangkatan, baru fokus cari tiket dan lain lain. Di sinilah awal semua drama.

Ketika cari tanggal appointment, berkali-kali buka website tulisannya selalu tidak tersedia. Tipsnya ngga ada selain coba cek secara berkala. Kadang tiba-tiba ada satu dua tanggal yang kosong. Rencana awalnya hanya booking buat Pak Dokter. Tapi, setelah beberapa lama, kayanya agak basi kalo ke Eropa sendiri (☺️).

Ketika tanggal appointment Pak dokter sudah aman, mulai cari lagi tanggal buat saya dan anak saya. Berhari-hari ngga dapet, sampai akhirnya ada kosong satu hari sebelum jadwalnya Pak dokter. Langsung booking biarpun yang tersedia hanya premium service yang di luar jam kerja.

Setelahnya agak lega karena tanggal udah aman. Saat itu masih awal Maret sedangkan tanggal perjanjian masih belasan April akhir. Saya pastikan di dashboard akun VFS udah tercantum nomer referensi untuk perjanjian di dua tanggal tersebut. Saya cek email dan berpikir tumben ini ngga masuk ke email. Tapi ya sudah, selama di dashoard ada formnya dan jelas sampai bukti bayar harusnya ngga masalah.

Jeda waktu dipakai buat isi-isi form Schengen. Formnya ngga terasa seribet pertama kali urus.

Kayanya pernah nulis setiap perjalanan yang dilalui itu pasti ada twistnya. Saya inget banget satu malam abis maghrib nyelutuk ke Pak Dokter :

“Tumben nih kayanya ngurus Schengen aman”.

Tanpa berlama-lama, besok paginya langsung semesta bekerja buat kasih pelajaran untuk kesombongan yang terucap di mulut.

Besok pagi, saya iseng cek ke akun VFS yang dipakai buat daftar perjanjian. Udah lama banget ngga cek. Waktu buka dashboard, jantung langsung berdebar karena di dashboard cuma ada satu appointment, punya Pak Dokter. Sedangkan punya saya ngga ada. Panik banget. Langsung refresh berkali-kali tetap ngga ada.

Salah satu hal yang saya syukuri adalah saat pertama kali keluar surat jadwalnya di dashboard, saat itu juga saya langsung download dan simpen di laptop. Karena tanpa ada itu, saya tidak bisa membuktikan sama sekali kalo saya sudah daftar, dapat tanggal dan bayar. Hari itu juga langsung saya datang ke VFS. Alhamdulillah lagi, VFS ini deket banget sama tempat tinggal hanya 10 menit naik angkot.

Pagi itu jadi pagi yang super gelisah. Saya antri buat minta info di VFS Portugal. Saya masih duduk nunggu sampai saya liat satu aplikasi yang nomer referensinya berawalan POR. Sedangkan punya kami berawalan NLD. Serangan panik yang kedua.

Makin panik ketika ada satu orang bapak-bapak mau ke VFS Jerman yang mana surat referensinya berawalan GER. Di sini saya makin yakin kalo ada yang salah.

Saya langsung tanya ke petugasnya tentang kode ini dan ternyata benar kalo lewat Portugal referensinya diawali dengan POR. Lemes banget.

Saya coba telp ke helpline embassy Portugal tanya kenapa websitenya buat bikin perjanjian diarahinnya ke Belanda, padahal saya inget betul saya milih Portugal.

Ternyata, saya salah alamat web. Harusnya saya masuk ke http://www.vfsglobal.com. Dari sana baru pilih mengajukan dari mana dan mau ke mana. Baru akan diarahkan ke VFS masing-masing.

Makin lemes lagi.

Tapi, ngga ada waktu buat lemes lama-lama. Langsung susun rencana ulang. Saya buka VFS Portugal setiap hari berkali-kali. Ngga ada satupun tanggal yang kosong. Pernah akhirnya ada slot kosong di bulan Juli yang mana ngga ada gunanya juga karena short coursenya di bulan Juni.

Kenapa ngga lewat TLS Contact Paris? Itu lebih parah antrinya.

Saya langsung email VFS Belanda buat memastikan surat referensi saya ini valid. Selama kurang lebih 10 hari, saya seperti teman pena dengan VFS. Balas-balasan email non stop. Tapi saya ngga peduli.

Sebenarnya ada satu plot twist kecil lagi sebelum ini. Di surat tanggal perjanjian, saya baru sadar kalo nomer paspor anak saya kelebihan. Waktu itu saya sudah langsung email bahwa ini harusnya ngga jadi masalah. Alhamdulillah ngga masalah meskipun mereka sudah ingatkan buat lebih hati-hati di pengisian formulir aplikasi visa karena akan sangat fatal akibatnya.

Balik ke pengurusan visa.

Pilihan saya waktu jadi hanya dua : berharap ada keajaiban tanggal kosong di Portugal atau ubah route perjalanan yang mana akan nambah biaya lagi.

Agak down juga waktu itu karena dapet tiket PP JKT-Paris harga promo yang oke banget. Liat gini jadi deg-degan kalo ternyata harus lewat Belanda.

(Visa Schengen bisa diurus dari negara terlama yang dikunjungi atau negara pertama kali masuk. Banyak yang bilang ngga masalah urus dari mana aja. Ngga ke negara tersebut juga bisa. Tapiii, itu sangat beresiko. Kalo di imigrasi ditanya kenapa ajukan visa dari negara tersebut tapi tidak ada bukti kalo akan ke sana, urusannya bisa panjang dan kami milih ngga ambil resiko itu).

Makin mendekati tanggal perjanjian, hampir dipastikan sudah ngga mungkin bisa urus dari Portugal. Jadi, saya makin fokus siapin untuk Plan B. Ubah itinerary jadi lewat Belanda.

Beda sekali perasaan urus visa kali ini. Sudah ngga kehitung berapa kali coba otak-atik real itinerary. Bikin simulasi pilihan itinerary di excel beserta biayanya. Perubahan ini cukup makan biaya (banget). Tapi, selama ada rezekinya, yang mana semoga selalu dilapangkan (amin!), sudah dapat tanggal perjanjian yang ideal sesuai waktu keberangkatan jadi satu hal yang uang juga ngga bisa bayar.

Ada satu lagi plot twist yang tiba-tiba muncul : Pemerintah mengumumkan cuti bersama Idul Fitri maju ke tanggal 18 April. Sedangkan tanggal perjanjian kami sehari dan dua hari setelahnya.

Pengen nangis banget waktu tau itu Jumat malam, jadi harus nunggu sampai Senin untuk nelpon ke VFS tentang hal ini.

Meskipun minggu itu bukan long weekend, itu terasa jadi long weekend terpanjang buat saya.

Di periode ini, doa saya makin panjang. Apalagi pas banget bulan Ramadan. Perasaan tiap hari ngga karuan. Sering berpikir, mungkin ini peringatan buat ngga jalan.

Tapi, seperti biasa, dalam periode ini juga saya jadi banyakk sekali belajar tentang hal baru. Terutama dalam mengurus visa Schengen.

Di hari Senin, jam 7.59 saya sudah standby buat telpon. Alhamdulillah lega sekali waktu mereka bilang mereka hanya tutup di tanggal merah sesuai kalendar. Jadi, tanggal perjanjian saya dan Pak Dokter aman.

Saya juga sudah mempersiapkan skenario di otak bahwa di tanggal perjanjian saya, Pak Dokter akan ikut dan di counternya saya akan tanya apa memungkinkan untuk submit sekalian. Mengingat kita satu keluarga dan Pak Dokter adalah sponsor utama trip ini, jadi penting banget buat aplikasi saya dan anak saya mengikuti aplikasi sponsor utama.

Menjelang tanggal perjanjian, setiap hari saya cek semua dokumen. Sudah ngga terhitung berapa kali saya cek formulir aplikasi setiap hari. Di formulirnya, saya putuskan buat tulis hanya ke Belanda saja. Karena jika ditulis akan mengunjungi negara Schengen lain, kita juga harus melampirkan bukti perjalanan dan penginapannya yang mana akan makin ribet lagi.

Itinerary tersebut sebenarnya agak ngga meyakinkan ya. Agak aneh menghabiskan 9 hari hanya di satu negara ketika visanya bisa banget dipakai buat ke negara lain. Jadi, di itinerary yang dilampirkan, saya tulis juga beberapa day trip ke kota lain atau kota negara lain yang terdekat dari Amsterdam seperti Brugge di Belgia. Tapi yang jelas, tanpa menginap. Jadi, ngga perlu ada lampiran bukti penginapan.

Ini juga pertama kalinya saya apply visa dengan tiket dummy. Tiket dummy saya beli lewat http://www.dummyticket.com. Prosesnya cepat dan gampang. Kita bisa rekues juga kita mau sampai di kota tujuan itu tanggal berapa. Karena tanggal mulai visa berlaku itu bisa banget baru di hari kita sampai, sedangkan beberapa penerbangan itu sampai di hari yang sama dengan hari keberangkatan. Jadi, ngga pas. Oleh karena itu harus pastikan dengan benar kapan kita akan sampai dan keluar di dan dari area Schengen.

Pada dasarnya, semua dokumen yang kami punya cukup meyakinkan, bukti finansial cukup kuat, histori perjalanan banyak, secara matematika manusia, harusnya visanya bisa dikabulkan tanpa kendala.

Tapi, semua yang dilewati di atas buat saya makin percaya, apa sih yang iya kalo Allah bilang ngga? Pun sebaliknya.

Meskipun dua minggu tersebut perasaan saya ngga karuan dan gelisah setengah mati, saya lebih dari bersyukur karena dikasih peringatan dini. Kayanya ngga kebayang kalo saya dengan percaya dirinya datang ke VFS Portugal di tanggal perjanjian, dengan bawa dokumen tiket yang pertama kali dibeli, lalu tau bahwa itu ngga bisa dipakai karena itu perjanjian dengan VFS Belanda. Alhamdulillah itu cuma ada di bayangan. Jadi, kalo cuma disuruh belajar lagi, ayo deh. Belajar emang ngga ada yang enak.

Di tanggal perjanjian, saya udah pasrah aja. Semua yang bisa dilakukan sudah dilakukan.

Berhuhung servis yang dipilih adalah servis premium karena di luar jam kerja, pada saat kami tiba di VFS, antriannya hanya sedikit sekali. Duduk sebentar ngga berapa lama langsung dipanggil.

Setelah petugasnya cek dokumen saya, saya mulai beranikan untuk nanya apa memungkinkan kalau aplikasi Pak Dokter juga dimasukan sekarang. Petugasnya minta izin untuk ke dalam buat nanya ke atasannya. Dia kembali dengan jawaban yang diharapkan dengan catatan karena waktu perjanjian suami saya itu di jam kerja normal yang mana harganya lebih murah, kami harus bayar selisih harga untuk servis premium servis.

Sekali lagi, punya keleluasan untuk memilih jadi sebuah privilege yang harus disyukuri.

Secara garis besar, semua dokumen aman. Sempat diminta untuk buat surat pernyataan dengan tulis tangan karena di surat keterangan kerja Pak Dokter tidak tercantum nama saya dan anak. Surat ini dibuat dengan mencantumkan bahwa tujuan kami hanya untuk berlibur dan ngga akan mencari pekerjaan. Waktu itu googling on the spot juga.

Dokumen-dokumen visa lama juga semua dikembalikan, karena ngga berhubungan dengan Schengen. Jadi, yang diambil saat itu hanya fotokopi aplikasi visa Schengen dari Prancis.

Biaya visa Schengen yang kami bayarkan waktu itu sebesar Rp 1.300.000 untuk dewasa dan Rp 650.000 untuk anak-anak. Waktu ke Paris, anak saya masih gratis. Kalo ngga salah visa Schengen buat anak di bawah 6 tahun itu gratis.

Setelah pembayaran di counter kami nunggu lagi untuk biometric. Itupun ngga lama langsung dipanggil. Anak di bawah 12 tahun ngga perlu biometric.

Setelah itu, semua selesai.

Rasanya waktu itu kaya ada beban berat yang terangkat.

————————————-

Menjelang pertengahan Mei, mulai agak was-was lagi karena sama sekali belum ada kabar paspor bisa diambil. Sampai akhirnya saya lupa tanggap berapa, nomer aplikasi Pak Dokter sudah tertulis pasport is ready for collection sedangankan dua yang lainnya belom.

Mulai deh tensi naik lagi. Kerjaannya tiap hari beberapa kali sehari ngecek ngga berenti. Waktu itu Pak Dokter lagi ada konfrensi di Medan selama hampir seminggu. Tadinya kepikiran untuk nyusul, yang mana alhamdulillahnya ngga.

Waktu itu saya baru sampai rumah setelah jemput pulang sekolah, duduk di sofa, iseng cek lagi. Liat semua aplikasi tertulis pasport is ready for collection langsung berdiri tegak dan bilang ke anak saya kalo saya akan keluar lagi sebentar untuk ambil. Saat itu masih jam 2 dan masih ada 2 jam untuk pengambilan.

Untuk kesekian kalinya, saya bersyukur lagi karena tinggal di tempat yang sangat strategis. Dekat kemana-mana, angkutan umum tersedia dengan mudahnya, yang mana ke VFS ada satu angkot gratis ke sana. 15 menit kemudian sudah sampai.

Karena masih jam kerja, VFS cukup ramai dan saya nunggu cukup lama sampai akhirnya nomer antrian saya dipanggil. Pasport diserahkan, tanda tangan, dan saya langsung kembali ke kursi tunggu buat buka pasport.

Alhamdulillah semua paspor terdapat stiker visa yang diperlukan, meskipun durasinya kok ya sebentar banget (untuk effort dan biaya yang dikeluarkan). Yah, nasib jadi negara ketiga.

Begitulah pengalaman mengurus visa Schengen kali ini. Kalo tips teknik mengisi form sudah banyak di luar sana. Tip saya cuma satu :

Cari tanggal perjanjian dulu jauh-jauh hari baru urus yang lain. Cuma itu yang penting.

Semoga bermanfaat (dan menghibur).

Posted in Thoughts

The Highest ROI of Parenting

Certain conversations inside the head finally met its trigger for them to finally be delivered into a writing. A post from Humans of New York was the one who did the job.

I never know how Brandon has always been successful to create a story in a short instagram post yet could give huge effect for its readers.

For the countless time, I rarely envy anyone, except those who write so well.

The caption above says a lot about one of the indicators of highly successful parenting, in my opinion.

One of the highest ROI (return of investment) of successful parenting is when the children voluntarily involve you in their daily life when they’re adults.

The period when they no longer ‘need’ you to navigate their own life, yet they still include you in their daily life, no matter the distance which set you apart.

I am not talking about the occasional holiday together or the monthly visit. It’s good, of course, but, having the kids talk to you, tell you about everything like they’re still living under the same roof with you, I think that is one of the highest achievements one can have in life.

Just like any other great work, there’s nothing easy about it. The father above decided that not his job, not his career, but his family, that he put on the top of his priorities for 30 years. To be able to stick with such decisions is not something that everyone can do. Only one with clear goals and visions who understands what matters the most can do such a thing. It takes a huge leap of faith to keep doing what you believe despite everything life throws.


This is why parenting is a long game. The result is not what you see right now. The result won’t come immediately like some money you earn after a month of hard work. It’s not when the kids behave nicely. Not when she wins any competitions, delivers good results, or any tangible and measurable things that society could label you as a good parent.

The long years of sowing could be so tricky. There were times when it might feel so unrewarding. But, when you really believe in something, you just have to keep going.

It’s even hard to be successfully raised one, because you might be successful with one of your kids, but not really doing as good with the others, yet he did a great job with three!

The actual result of truly successful parenting is something that will come 20-30 years down the line, and it’s not something that everyone can see, but only can be felt at heart by both parent and the child. When both can talk comfortably and respect each other like they are equal. This is why I think, one of the endgame of parenting goals that we should aim is : raising an adult that will gain your trust and respect.

After all, we could only do our best when raising the children. The results are too hard to be predicted. Life rarely happens in one straight line curve. Too many unpredictable things could happen that might not guarantee what kind of result you will get or expect, despite all the efforts you pour into.

But still, no reason not to give your best bet on this. It’s one of the things in life that is worth your time doing it.

Posted in Places, Thoughts, Travel

New Season of Traveling

It’s still hard to believe that after three years, life is slowly returning to old days, including traveling. When I thought Sydney was more than enough this year, then another trip came only few months after that.

This time, it’s way of traveling that we have never been done before. Out of initial plan.

The past few weeks and months, I felt like dealing with the same old and new me while dealing with traveling thing. I am still the same old person who is very determined and detailed in planning, but certain part is totally unrecognizable.

I always know that I am good at waiting, although the reason might not be clear. Sometimes, I am questioning myself too what I have been waiting for. Just click buy and move on to the next thing. Why torture yourself for weeks instead? But still, I just chose to suffer.

When it comes to traveling, I feel like having this different tables inside my brain about few different itineraries with their own strengths and weaknesses. Funnily, these tables were not even fixed. After weeks of feeling certain that those choices were the only way to go, suddenly, I could restart from the beginning and resetting everything again to completely different plans. It was mostly a sudden new insight that came into my mind.

The old me would have started packing right after the visa was granted, mostly two or three months beforehand, but now, up to two weeks, my luggage was still sitting nicely on the cupboard. I wasn’t so sure what I was waiting for.

Previously, I was so sure a transit it’s fine as long as the time and price fit. Then, I found the airline rating was pretty bad. So, I considered another option. When I found one that had a good rating, I was still being hesitant once again. The greedy in me wanted more.

While waiting for this, I suddenly found the price that I had been looking for consistently for weeks. Then, when I was about to type the card number, I started thinking once again. This one fitted the time and price, but with a transit.

I ended up not with the lowest I could get, but it was the best indeed.

As the date of the departure is getting closer, my anxiety is slowly rising. Pre-pandemic travel gave me excitement, but the post ones are making me more cautious. I’ve been wondering why we adult has so many fears inside? Or is it just me?

Since the first time we traveled abroad as a family, we always stay in one city for 7 days. Enjoyed the city as slow as possible (although it was also a soft translation of not having enough to afford more). But this time, we would move to three different countries in 7 days. It’s scary. I didn’t plan to, but, as always, a travel twist made us taking such options.

Well, I wish nothing but hopefully we will survive this new season of traveling safe and sound. We never know if we don’t try. Right? Please, it is.

After having a summer trip in the east, off we go for another summer trip to the west.

Bismillah. Bismillah. Bismillah.

Posted in Thoughts

Alone with Questions

The more I see, observe, and experience, I come to conclusion that everyone is alone.

This life is a solo trip that everyone takes alone. We indeed have companies along the way, but they just crossed paths with us during the trip.

When you travel alone, no wonder sometimes or many times, you’ll get confused. You feel like you don’t know where to go, no matter how detailed you make your plans. You’ll face countless periods when the trip doesn’t go according to your schedule.

This makes the phrase “Know thyself” hit right on the spot. Maybe this solo trip is all about the journey to know ourselves, to realize who we truly are, then live accordingly.

In my country, usually, the confusion starts when it’s time to choose universities after graduating from high school. I think it’s exactly the real solo trip begins after traveling safely with the family for the last 18 years. Maybe some of us begin earlier. But, in general, most of us start at 18.

It’s the beginning of the period of asking endless questions that we ask ourselves. But, based on my observations, not everyone bother to look for the answers.

I have been dealing with many 20s-something in a boot camp where I have volunteered since last year. I am pretty sad whenever I listen to the indifferent tone when they tell me about what they do in life.

I wish everyone understands how precious your 20-s something. It’s one of the most critical periods in one’s life; one should use well and live it to the fullest. This period is all about something you need and want to do yourself. Whatever it is.

The period when you can decide everything on your own, the period where you can go wrong without bearing too many consequences, the season of life you can learn as much as you can, from anyone, from anywhere.

I am not saying that life stops there. But, the next session in life would give you a different set of questions to deal with. For this thing, I have also seen enough examples of the consequences when one is not working on their own 20-s issue. The impact is more extensive than their own lives.

This is one of my biggest fears in raising my daughter.

I am afraid I’m not (or we’re not) raising her well enough to have enough curiosity to ask some crucial questions about herself and her life and the ability to find the answers herself.

I hope when her time comes to start her solo trip, she won’t merely survive. I want her to thrive.

I want her to have lots of courage to deal with real-life problems. I want her to keep going no matter how much and hard she falls. I want her to not only chase pleasure, but I wish her to pursue meaning. I want her to understand the giant bug that prevents her from achieving anything that she wants to accomplish is always inside. I want her to consult not only me or her father or whoever advisor she trusts, but most importantly, I want her to consult Her Creator for every decision she makes because He is the only One who can guide and protect her from any harm in life. After all, whatever she does, wherever she is, again, she is on her own. I want her to involve Her Creator in everything she does in life.

As an 8yo, she asks many questions, and I hope she will keep doing so. I am grateful we have Google now. But Google is there to give some insights. It answers our preliminary questions, but its job stops there. We can use that for the next step, but the honest answer to our most essential life questions will never be found in Google. We have to keep looking to find the best solution where we finally feel at peace.

Tears couldn’t help flowing whenever this thought struck. Guess I have said enough for now.

Wow, a few writings in a row for the past few days. Well done, you, keep going.

Posted in Thoughts

Daily Colors

My day always starts as early as 3 am.

It’s the best time of the day where I have all the silence needed for me without interruption and distractions.

My set of personal morning routines have been running since two last Ramadan. The first two hours after waking up are dedicated for taking care things that matter the most for me. All the conversations inside the head, all the plan for the day, all the to do lists, they were organized at this time. When it feels hard inside, this is also the best time to ‘consult’, to ‘nag’, to be very demanding to the One who takes care all affairs. Problems won’t go right away, but, at least, you know you have filed the complaint.

My working hours start once adzan subuh heard. Breakfast, lunch boxes, early morning lessons, and many more. 

After I am done with things in the kitchen, I’ll open my laptop and start exercising with Heather Robertson. Heather has been my daily exercise companion since 4 years ago. No day passed without meeting her on youtube, wherever I am, home or away. 

Done with Heather, I proceed for dhuha prayer. 

By 7.10 am, my kitchen is closed and cleaned, I get my morning endorphins and all most important personal routines done. Time to leave for school delivery. 

This is what happens 7 days a week, most of the time. Except no lunch boxes preparation on weekend. 

School delivery is done before 8 am. If it’s odd date, I will proceed with my morning walk. If it’s even date, where I send the little girl by car, it means cleaning up at home. Or, a proper nap time. 

Morning walk is my most look forward routine. 6000 steps are the main goal. Usually, boulangerie or grocery becomes the main destination. If it’s not, then I just walk leisurely until it’s time to return by the public transportation. There would be time when I don’t feel like walking. Then, I’ll choose the longer bus route to go home for reading. I usually arrive at home around 10-10.30 am. 

The little store that has been surviving for 6 years opens at 10 am and that when I start working part time from home.

The period between 10 am until school pick up is mostly about taking care my place.

Some cleaning, that’s for sure. 

Some cooking, if there’s a pressure. Some pressure like the fridge is quite empty while the food storage boxes is full. 

Some laundry, if it’s already the deadline. This is my least favorite chore of all.

Without cooking pressure or laundry deadline, then I will be taking some nap or doing some research for the on-going plans. Whenever I have plans that make me excited, my mind is rarely on the rest mode.

After midday, it’s time to prepare for school pick up . Afternoon spent more for taking care the little girl’s afternoon classes while replying customer chat, social media scrolling and being couch potato in between.

Dinner preparation usually starts at five.Here, dinner serves before 6 pm. I want my kitchen cleaned and closed before maghrib prayer. The little store is also closed by 6 pm. So, all works in a day are done by that time.

Above 6.30 pm is reading time for everyone until the last prayer of the day. By 8.30 pm, most of the time, the house is already in the dark mode.

Every two weeks, I have evening class every Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday where I volunteer to be a moderator for online English speaking class discussion. It’s something that I really enjoy doing. For the last two batches, the founder asked me to teach some of the classes. Some of them were pretty good. I realize that I am doing better at listening than talking.

From others, it may look mundane, but for me it’s an ideal daily life that I look forward to each day. I love how each thing that I consider important in life has the their own time slot. The only one which I am struggling is to find a fixed slot for writing. I desperately want a dedicated time slot for writing but still find it’s hard to be committed, although I have tried several ways like turnin on the reminder, etc. 

This one is finished after the early morning prayer and before the early morning shfit starts. It’s only doable when it’s weekend.

Despite of whatever excuse I have about writing regularly, this is a little struggle that keeps me sane along the way. So, maybe I’ll just be struggling then. It’s not a (good) life without a bit of struggle here and there, isn’t?

Have a nice week ahead!

Posted in Favorite things, Langit Senja

Morning Carpool Karaoke

Carpool Karaoke on Monday Morning

We were on the way to school last Monday when a song heard from the radio. After the few first seconds of the intro :
“Is this time after time?”

“Exactly,”

Listened for a while then asked again :
“Is this a remake?”

100 points to Gryffindor.
Other than her strong memory, her ears are indeed one of the best part of her.

Couldn’t help taking my phone and recording this.

The video and the vocal might not be the best quality, but, I hope a session of carpool karaoke on the way to school with mommy becomes one of her strong core memories, as it is for me.

Posted in Thoughts

One Step at a Time

The period of so many drafts yet not even one could be published because it’s always stuck after few paragraphs.

It feels like too much distractions around since the last post. Or maybe, let’s point all the finger to the opposite direction. I take the blame for allowing myself being distracted too often in the past few weeks.

The conversation inside the head is still loud as usual, few important things are on the table which needed to be addressed, yet, couldn’t help silencing them with quick dopamine flow and try to avoid the real work.

I am actually writing this to distract myself from the nervousness of talking in front of audience in less than an hour. This is one of few important things I wrote above. Accepted the offer with the number, have prepared quite thoroughly, yet, talking is not the forte. But, it’s something that I want and need to do. It’s been a while since the last time I heard my heart beating so loudly while my hands are sweaty.

Whenever something is too overwhelming inside the head, the mind spells this casts :

One thing at a time.

One step at a time.

One writing at a time.

Hopefully soon, more writing for next time.

Posted in Places, Thoughts

Eid Holiday

Eid holiday is one of those periods where I always want it to end soon rather than last longer. The multiple house visits, the endless eating, and loud noises have always been overwhelming. I need nap time in between.

We’re having two Eids this year. I joined those who celebrated it on Friday. It was quite peaceful and nice actually. Did the prayer around the area then enjoyed riding around the empty and silent Jakarta to find one that I’ve been craving for along Ramadan :

After several attempts, found this proper Mie Ayam in one of co-working spaces in SCBD.

Before the Bakmie, we stopped by my mum and grandma’s graveyards and proceed to chocolaterie in Senopati for a gift for my aunt and my parents. Then we visited my aunt. Came home right before Dzuhur and we had a long nap. The best Eid day looked like this.

The Friday Eid crowd

The second day of Eid (or the first day for many), had a quick visit to three houses and managed to have proper nap time in my other aunt’s house. This year Eid wasn’t as loud as the previous years. So, it was quite tolerable actually, except, it was scorching hot. Right before Asr, we had already settled down in the carpet and bed at home.

The doctor huge family gathering usually takes place in Solo, but this year, it was in Malang. We chose to go by plane since the train ride was too long and tiring. Only stayed for one day in Malang.

The family gathering itself was quite pleasant compared to previous years ones. It was more relax, fun and less crowded.

I truly appreciate the people behind the event and who worked so hard to make this happen. It made all the unusually high Eid ticket fare, huge effort for a brief trip worth it.

They made a book about the root of the family from the first until the now the sixth generation. They made a name tag for each one of us. Different colors showed from which generation they’re from. I was just a bit sorry that the whole family had to put up with my daughter out of pitch voice for three times from Let it Go, The Sound of Music, and last one was duet with her father. Less skill yet highly confident, she is.

I kept the book as a souvenir and also a reminder about how short life is, the important one is the present. Everyone mostly will become a memory in three generations.

At first, I thought 27 hours there would be too short, it turned out it was more than enough. Experienced two services from one of the famous and highly hyped restaurants and a legendary one there, totally unimpressed by the service they provided.

But, we managed to visit one of the french patisseries which deserves two thumbs up during our morning walk. It’s well-run, well-designed and serious patisserie which opened at 7am and offers wide range of pastry and cake selection. We had three different choices and quite happy with everything we ordered.

Funny that we went far to Malang only to have sets of french pastry instead of nasi pecel. Didn’t find any single warung pecel open along the four kilometers of our morning walk. What even funnier was the patisserie flocked with the locals too.

One of the brainstorming accounts in social media stated this phenomena few weeks ago. These days, urbanization is no longer about people from small cities move to a big one but more of the behavior change and culture. They’re no longer move to the big city, but they adopt big city lifestyles in their hometown. Having breakfast with french pastry looks like one of them.

The taxi driver we met also confirmed the the same thing. Malang is no longer the city for retirement but since 2010, it’s the city for investment.

chocolate cake, Paris Brest, and something au fromage.

Well, that’ all for this year Eid. Alhamdulillah.

May we’ll be granted a chance to meet another one next year healthy and happy. Amin.