A Penny for My Pensieve

Dear Langit,

If one day the time comes to you to choose a life-partner, would you take this one most important note from me very seriously about what kind to choose?

” Moslem and practising shalat are absolutely non-negotiable”.

You start your screening from these things. The rests, you can argue with me, insya Allah. Prepare yourself well since arguing with me will be never easy. Ask your dad.

I know you’re just one. But, better early than late. I am writing this out of the blue thinking about you because I still can’t sleep because of husband’s battle in Reply 1988.

That’s all for tonight. I love you.

I like watching korean drama. Since many years ago. My first drama was Winter Sonata. Thus, I have been always Choi Ji Woo fans. But, I never ever once write about any dramas either in my daily journal or in this blog despite how good a drama is. But, yeah, never say never. I will break the record now. For the first time after fourteen years watching korean drama, I really want to write about this one.

Reply 1988 is one of the greatest drama I have ever seen. It’s very special in so many ways. The heart-warming story, the strong chemistry, the funny jokes, the enviable friendship, the warm families, and of course the adorable love triangle.

It is even more special because it has longer duration than any usual dramas. Every episode is aired for one and half hours. It’s quite long for two days drama a week, but even with such duration, I still can’t get enough of it every week.

It tells story about five families in Ssangmung dong, Seoul with the setting of the year 1988. From five families, the children also make friends and these four boys and a girl had been very close since they were little. Duk Seon, Jung Hwan, Sun Woo, Dong Ryong, and Taek were almost always together. The year of 1988 was when they were in second year of high school.

Actually, before the 1988, there were the preceeding reply series, 1997 and 1994. The three has similar big picture which is about guessing who will the husband of the female lead. Bien sur, le husband is one of the boy from the gank. I watched 1997 and 1994 roughly, and I didn’t find those two were extra ordinary. Good yes, but not that great. Thus, I had a very low expectation watching 1988 at the beginning. More, none of the leads were those I have ever heard of. So, the chance it would be good were quite small. I thought at first.

But, up to its 18 episodes, I was totally totally wrong. From the very first until the latest, there haven’t been any single lame episodes. It has been so amazing how the writer, director, and the team can make such consistently great drama. You can’t help smiling, crying, laughing, and for me non-stop tweeting everytime I watch it.

I am obviously Jung Hwan supporter to be with Duk Seon. Fyi, you don’t expect a beauty female and male lead like any other good usual drama. Jung Hwan might be not what you call good looking, but, I can guarantee you will totally fall for his charm, his deep thought for Duk Seon, his small funny gestures, although his face was showing no emotions. Me love Jung Hwan very much.

Apart from the love story, it tells us a lot about family, parenting, and life lessons. It has a lot of quotable lines thus I can’t resist tweeting those good lines. Every characters have their own chance to tell you stories and lessons from each of them point of view. You can’t help loving all the characters in this drama. Really.

This week will be the very last week of its broadcast. And I feel so sad about that. So not ready to part with all of them. It’s been very enjoyable watching them for almost three months. Even for someone who don’t watch korean drama, I will surely tell them to watch this. It absolutely worths your precious time.

Langit should really watch this one too someday. More, I hope she will meet such great people and make friends with them like Duk Seon did. For great friends are one of the best present life can give to you.

I have been always want to run away when facing three things although the chances 
were quite rare. Whenever these things come, there will be some things which don’t exist beforehand, suddenly appear. Like non-stop coughing, or even worse the asthma. Just appear like that.

Luckily, among those three, I don’t have to face one of them. Oh well, just realize that it is actually two of them. The one that still here, guess I have to continue facing it in the future. So, the two expired ones were piano exam and someone who liked me. Weren’t they laughable? But, I won’t talk about those two here. It’s the third that makes me a bit anxious for few days and so I decide to write to lessen the anxiety.

It’s about going to hospital.

It’s been always got me on my nerves whenever I have to visit hospital. I don’t like its ambience, the scent, and everything. It’s too uncomfortable and somehow depressing. No matter how much some hospitals have changed to be more sophisticated, still I don’t feel any better. I had rare meeting with hospitals in the past. I mean for myself. So, when I knew that I was pregnant, one of the first thing come into my mind was the thought of giving birth by midwives, not a doctor in a hospital. Bien sur, le doctor husband refused. I delayed to visit an obgyn until a month later to be more mentally prepared.

Whenever the time for obgyn appointment came, I had been so restless. Few times hoped that he might have not come so it would be canceled. The fear was at its highest stake when the nurse called my name. Hah, entering the practice room with sweaty hands, pale face, frighten body gestures, maybe the doctor thought I had seen ghost before seeing him. That is why no matter how long we waited to be served by the doctor, we almost never spent more than 10-15 minutes inside. We only asked one big question to him, whether the baby was healthy. If he answered yes,then we didn’t need to ask for more. Off we went, happily.

I thought that I was getting better at dealing with the doctor after went through pregnancy and delivery. But, seemed that I was wrong. It’s been even more and much more nervous whenever I have pediatrician visit. Going to the hospital for Langit is a lot more frightening for me.

The doctor is nice, the hospital feels comfortable, so what else? I am afraid of the weight measurement. I really forgot what is the term for this. Whenever I see that thing, it feels like the examiner who will judge how I have been doing for month. Whether I am doing well or just bad. Really, maybe I am being exaggerating, but it matters to me.

I should have come to the hospital last Tuesday. But, the vaccine Langit should have is still not available. So I thought why should I go there? Again, skipping the appointment feels like breaking the rules for me. I have been feeling guilty. Because I know the main reason why I didn’t come wasn’t because of the vaccine. It’s my cowardice to face the truth if Langit’s weight is not increasing as much as I expect.

Langit has been more to height baby than weight one. The weight were mostly good. She has been on the green curve, but, the weight has been very much stingy. You don’t ask how it felt when the digital scale showed me some numbers that I couldn’t believe it was only that much. After those daily hardworks, battle feedings, messy preparations, was that all this thing could show me? A mere few differences like the previous month.

It turned my mood to the lowest level. Felt like all my energy had been sucked by that thing. It was just like a very bad paid to those works. Until few days after that, my mood was constantly bad.

Well, I have made up my mind to visit the doctor tomorrow. At least, I have noticed my helper to accompany me. Let see what tomorrow brings then. Now I’d better prepare my heart for the worst.

A bientot!

Here’s another year to come. Until the fourth day, it’s been not too exciting. The asthma is currently here, Langit has runny nose for several days and le husband is busy being the new chief in residency.

What’s the plan for this year? To be honest, no big grand plan. Just some small plans here and there. Doesn’t we sound too lazy?  I am afraid yes:(

That is why the clearest thing we have in short time is having Langit joining a baby class. Combination of busy father and introvert mother like us will make Langit rarely meeting other people. Thus, I need something to push me out of our cave which gives a greater benefit than merely spending money for fun. The class will start on the next April insya Allah.

Le husband starts his chiefing period for the next six months. He’s been busy till he can’t let the phone out of his hand even for a while. This chiefing period will also the highest stage one could be in residency. Somehow, I can’t believe we’re really here.

Me? I’ve been busy daydreaming and watching korean drama. Okay, for the real thing, I’ve been doing some new activity for Langit at home. Toilet training. It’s nothing much yet but at least we’ve started. We skipped potty seat because it didn’t work well. So instead a potty, I use toilet seat directly. It works better. At first, she cried whenever I put her there. But now, she seems understand that she can sit comfortably and have me cleaned her.

Personal plans are not too much. I want losing weight and gaining more money. Sounds uninteresting? No problem. For me, both are not easy. I am weak to the good food which we have a lot here while leaving Langit for more working days still sounds too scary for me. It’s not the leaving time, but more to before and after working. It’s all self-doing.

Then, hope this year brings more blessings and more enjoyable ride. Amin.

Bonne année!