Posted in Books, Langit Senja, Maternité, Thoughts

Daily Menu at Home

As we have been studying the first batch of Juz amma for more than a year, we brought an exam simulation to the little girl which planned to be done at the end of this month. But, suddenly she asked us to do that yesterday.

“What about now?”

Just like that.

So we wrote down 20 surahs she had learned in a small paper and she would pick it. Passing mark is 70% of 20 surahs. She did it pretty well. Calm and confidently. I asked her another bonus surah since my favorite wasn’t picked up.

Statistically, 20 surahs in a year are not that much. But, just like in any other subjects I have been teaching her, I prefer going slow and consistently done without zero days.

We didn’t enroll her to any school for these six months. We have secured a seat in one of primary school for the next school years. So within this interval, she just studied at home with me.

I can’t and will not teach her like any real schools. Her daily schedule would be like this :

One quran session after subuh only lasts for 15 minutes.

One iqro session after dzuhur only lasts for 20 minutes.

One piano session in the morning only lasts for 40 minutes.

One numbot session before piano only lasts for 30 minutes.

One reading together session before bed only lasts for 15 minutes.

One mixed subjects after piano session only lasts for 30 minutes.

As she loves reading, she is usually doing it in her free time by herself. Other than that, it’s free time. She could play, singing, watching, or whatever. Sometimes I take her outside cycling or just going around to do grocery and bakery visit. She gets one hour of trash in youtube kids everyday and another hour to watch real thing in either Netflix or Prime Video. She always wakes up by 5 am and goes to bed before 8 pm and by 8 pm, her day is done. My shift ends.

Setting such schedule above, we aim for nothing but building good habits. What we want to build is the habit, the exictement and the love for learning. For the sake of learning, not for grade, not for exam, or for any prizes. The habit that will turn into values and in the long run become the character and hopefully the destiny. The legendary Atomic Habits from James Clear summed it well below :

Recently, I also have been reading Simplicity Parenting from Kim Payne. He said in the introduction page :

“Daily activities says a lot about who we are as a family. You can see what a family holds dear from the pattern of their everyday lives”.

The rest of the book told exactly everything that we have been done. What children needs is secure environment to grow. How? Through regularity and daily rhtym at home. They need to know what to expect each day and there’s no better way to do it than setting and having daily schedule at home.

I am currently enjoying the result of rhytm and regularity that has been built since she was baby. She has been waking up at 5 since she was a baby. Few years ago, I wrote two similar in this post and this one.

When she ate for the first time, her first meal was fruit juice right after wake up. Seven years later, the first plate she has after subuh and Quran is still the same.

“Children depend on the rhythmic structure of the day—on its predictability, its regularity, its pulse. They benefit from dependability and regularity throughout childhood, but especially in the first three years, when the greatest learning takes place unconsciously. Not only can children find security in the patterns of daily life, they can begin to find themselves”.

Setting regularity and rhytm to the child’ daily life is not only beneficial to the children. It makes parenting much easier. We don’t have to find new things to do everytime.

Boring? no.

Why?

That explains why she is rarely to never display any tantrum, in whatever setting we have been. We dont only bring this regularity and rhytm in daily life, we bring it everywhere. During our traveling time, we wake up at or before 5 am for subuh and followed by first breakfast with fruit and bread then an hour later for rice. We always go out by 8 am and always back home by maghrib. By 8 pm, we are all in bed.

That explained why I had never enjoyed Paris, Tokyo, or Seoul at night. Three times in London, the one and only night time in London was this day of witnessing the beauty of London Night life.

Do I miss a lot? Not really.

Because it’s more important to enjoy everyday of the whole seven days than to sacrifice the rest of holiday for the sake of enjoying one beautiful night.

More importantly, staying healthy after the holiday is as well a point to note. With keeping our daily regularity and rhytm during traveling, we keep our physical and mental health altogether. We resume our daily activities again right after arrived home.

There are a lot of good points from the book such as the importance of art for young children, the benefit of having silent time, to declutter things like the toys, books, clothes, as well as the schedules. Having clear space has strong relations with clear mind. We simplify things to live better.

Just like the big message from the book : Our life will be simplified by simplifying our child’s.

Yes, it’s really true.

Posted in Review, Travel

Memperpanjang Paspor (+Anak) di MPP Jakarta Selatan saat Pandemi

Mudah, cepat, sepi, praktis.

Setelah tiga kali ganti paspor sejak pertama kali punya, baru kali ini prosesnya semenyenangkan ini. Paspor dewasa di atas tahun 2009 hanya perlu dua dokumen untuk perpanjangan : eKTP (asli dan fotokopi) dan paspor lama (asli dan fotokopi). Ngga perlu ada dokumen apapun lagi.

Sedangkan untuk paspor anak masih perlu dokumen-dokumen lain yaitu :

1. Paspor lama (asli-copy)

2. Fotokopi akte lahir

3. Fotokopi kartu keluarga

4. Fotokopi buku nikah orang tua

5. Fotokopi eKTP kedua orang tua

6. Surat pernyataan izin orangtua untuk memperpanjang paspor tandatangan di atas materai. Ini saya bikin sendiri.

Semua dokumen harus dibawa aslinya untuk verifikasi.

Pendaftaran dilakukan melalui aplikasi bernama APAPO (antiran paspor online). Bisa diunduh baik di Android dan IOS. Setelah memasukan data pribadi pilih mau perpanjang atau permohonan paspor baru. Nanti bisa pilih dimana kita mau perpanjang.

Setelah pilih MPP Jaksel, lalu pilih tanggal dan jam tersedia, lalu keluar barcode. Selesai.

Mal Pelayanan Publik Jaksel ini hanya melayani perpanjangan paspor baru karena hanya seperti outlet kecil di lantai 3. Jadi kalo untuk permohonan paspor baru harus datang ke salah satu kantor imigrasi wilayah.

Dalam situasi pandemi ini, masuk ke MPP perlu scan barcode yang nanti juga digunakan untuk keluar. Masuk ke lantai 1 lalu diberi nomer antrian dan bisa langsung ke lantai 3.

Sampai lantai 3, imigrasi ada di sebelah kanan. Waktu itu kami datang sesuai jadwal jam 11. Kosong ngga ada antrian sama sekali. Cek dokumen masing-masing, isi formulir, dan pengambilan foto dan biometrik.

Imigrasinya cuma bilik kecil seperti ini

Total dari datang sampai selesai untuk tiga orang sekitar 40 menit. Semua nyaman dan menyenangkan.

Kecuali, petugas yang ada di biometrik.

Penuh dengan basa-basi dan pertanyaan ngga penting yang tidak menyenangkan. Komentar-komentar sampah pun sesekali terdengar. Kalo ngga ada dia, saya kasih lima bintang. Tapi, karena ada dia, empat cukup.

Selesai proses foto dan biometrik dikasih tanda terima buat pembayaran dan pengambilan. Pembayaran bisa dilakukan di ATM yang tercantum di kertasnya. Petunjuk pembayaran juga sangat jelas.

Pengambilan paspor bisa dilakukan dalam 3 hari kerja dengan membawa kertas tanda pengambilan, bukti pembayaran dan kalo mewakili orang lain dalam satu keluarga harus menyertakan fotokopi kartu keluarga. Kalo yang bukan satu keluarga harus dengan surat kuasa.

Paspor lama di atas adalah paspor biasa. Paspor baru di bawah adalah paspor elektronik. Harga penggantian paspor biasa masih sama Rp 350.000 sedangkan paspor elektronik Rp 650.000.

Paspor baru sudah ada. Biarpun kapan dipakainya masih tanda tanya.

Posted in Thoughts

Go Public Transportation!

Going around with public transportation is one of the most enjoyable things to do in a city.

Wandering aimlessly is therapeutic. It’s space and time needed to declutter the mind.

Somehow, I feel safer being inside the bus or angkot more than taxi and I prefer Kopaja or metromini to Transjakarta. I love watching people and having small talk with taxi driver is such a torture.

I once survived a year lived in Jakarta alone (without the parents) when I was 12 years old, went here and there by public transportation.

Went to school every morning at 5.15 by Bus 213 Grogol-Kampung Melayu which the route was practically passing almost every part of the city. From west, south to east. I was so grumpy went through it daily. After 213, I still had to chase another angkot which discriminated schoolers badly since they didnt pay full fare. There were days when I really had to hang outside the angkot. Crazy. It was totally exhausting. I almost always arrived at school tired and messy.

But, when you were desperate enough, then you would find a way. While sardened in the 213 bus, for few days, I paid attention and found out this bus passed the flyover to my school. So when I stopped nearby, I just need to walk shortly then continue with the same angkot but heading to the opposite direction which was always empty! So, I just had to stop across my school and went through the pedestrian bridge. Voila.

My life changed drastically by this new finding. Instead of leaving home at 5.15, I could leave a bit longer around 5.40. Instead of arrived at school very close to bell ringing at 7 am, I arrived at school 40 minutes before when the school was still empty. This new route only took 20 minutes instead of 1,5 hours.

How the same route looked totally different from another point of view.

I was so proud of myself.

The journey returning home was no better. Went home by Patas AC 55 Pondok Kopi-Grogol which only available once every 1 hour. Missed the schedule, chose between waiting for another one hour or changing 4 bus and angkot to home. Of course, I chose the easiest one. Life was hard enough already at that time.

Weekly trip from piano course which finished at 21.30 and dealt with the scary and dark terminal Manggarai to take bus 78 Manggarai-Tangerang.

It was one of the hardest trainings in my adolesence years yet proven to be the most useful one. I knew a lot about Jakarta’s street without maps thanks to massive experience of going by public transportation that time.

After being a mother myself, I still couldn’t imagine how ‘brave’ my mother was (insane is more correct word actually) to let a 12 years old little girl went through this by herself.

From other’s point of view they might say it’s crazy, but what she did was actually doing her job properly. To let her child experienced something that she has to deal with. I really adored her strong heart and grateful for the choice she made for me.

Fast forward to recent years, I have been taking this litte girl since few years ago going around by public transportation and I hope to do it more often, for leisure and soon as the part of the training until she is ready to enjoy the fun on her own.

We went for early morning trip by angkot and new MRT few days ago as a warming up. I am more than happy having this little tough walker with me. No complain, no whining, although I knew it must be (a bit) tiring.

MRT Jakarta is such a big milestone for the city. It would be great having it all over the city. LRT is on the way and hope it will be ready soon.

Hope they will keep up the good work and we can continue enjoying more reliable and comfortable public transportation in the future.

Amin!

Posted in Books, Thoughts

Living with Risk and Luck

It’s been almost a year living during this unusual situation. Some countries have more clear view ahead, but sadly, not us in this country with such stupid useless brainless and heartless government.

Unintentional decision to do the smallest thing could lead to something big that we can’t handle. We’re forced to think twice or thrice about everything we do, whether it is necessary, unavoidable, or even as a matter between life and death.

Sometimes it’s quite overwhelming and I found dealing with this in Jakarta is much more overwhelming. How can be deciding to go out for simple walk within less than 5 km take tens of googling for days as if I want to go out of town to the unknown jungle?

But then, it’s truly unknown jungle out there right now to be honest.

This reminds me a lot about the second chapter of a must-read book from last year by Morgan Housel in his Psychology of Money.

Luck and risk are two sides in the same coin and risk is more something that you can’t see. They are dopplegangers. They are siblings.

Many decisions made during this pandemic depends a lot by how we calculate the risks. From daily life to make ends meet to leisure things to keep the sanity.

The tricky part of this pandemic life is your decision is not all about you. It might have impact on other people and it could be the on the risk side instead of the luck. Visiting my parents’ house is no longer something that I could do without the second thought. Calculating time to visit, the duration, and many more.

Compared to London, in Jakarta the risk seems bigger. It’s not (only) about the virus but more of other things outside our control to deal with this new life. Like less reliable health system which gives you (almost) no space for being sick at the moment, the absence of green areas around the neighbourhood for daily walk or small parks with bench to sit and ponder in silence.

In the end, whatever decision we make, whatever risk we take, may we always be favoured with more good luck and protected from something that we can’t see and handle. Amin.

(I) Never going out without asking The Protector for that.

Posted in Thoughts

Prolog : The Stockdale Paradox

If others hope for great days and full of good things in the new year, I prefer going to the opposite.

Instead of thinking that better days are coming, the thought of let’s keep the seat belt fasten is much more soothing. It makes the brain and the heart dont lose the guard, keep alert, keep looking for the way out, stay firm and discipline to prepare for the worst.

If anything 2012 taught me, it was living with The Stockdale Paradox mindset, especially in abnormal situation or when life pushes you to face something that you have no experience which doesn’t give you the option to retreat and survive is the only way out.

The Stockdale Paradox in Jim Collins Good to Great book said :

“You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end — which you can never afford to lose — with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”

The Stockdale Paradox is a survival mindset. I had been through a lot and survived with this. In 2014, once we knew we were expecting, the first thing we did was preparing the fund for c-section. That time, one was working part time, while the other one was a student with small income. We had no insurance to cover monthly check up, nor the delivery. We covered everything on our own expense.

We chose the hospital carefully, not the cheapest one, but the most comfortable one within our budget. We worked hard and saved religiously. But, was it running smoothly?

Of course, it wasn’t even close.

I had to be hospitalized once even only for two days. High d-dimer forced us to spend our saving for some expensive medecines during pregnancy.

No matter how much we prepare for c-section, it would be so hard on us financially after that. But then, the mantra has always been :

“Let’s always prepare for the worst and let Allah take care the rest”.

In the end, Allah really took care the rest as I once wrote in this post.

In 2020, the toughest event that we had to face is flying long haul during this pandemic situation. Scared is an underrated term to express this.

Been researching all about this for months. From the airline to the exact day to fly. I no longer chose the cheapest one, but the safest and most comfortable one within the budget.

If there was something that feared me most, it was other’s review about how unpleasant the treatment they experienced in Soetta. Unfriendly officer, disrespectful army men, even worse when it was crowded. I had all the worst case scenarios in my head.

But, there was nothing I could do about that other than asking The Most Powerful to take care the rest.

And that day, here is the picture when we arrived that Friday afternoon :

Soetta is far from crowded.

In fact, it was totally empty.

We met friendly officers, from immigration check to health counter, everything went smoothly until the end. I couldn’t describe how grateful I was for that day.

Next week and few weeks after would be the first uneasy battle to survive, among many we might (or would) face this year. Facing the battle that no one would know what the price to pay in the end. Sometimes, I think my heart couldnt handle this anymore. But there’s nothing I can do other than to deal with it.

No flowerly words needed for this new year. Surviving January alone safely means a lot and enough for me.

Remember, we are in no better situation regarding the pandemic in this country than few months ago. Since 10 months ago to be precise.

It’s bad. It’s getting worse and the worst part is hoping this will end in anytime soon is such a false hope.

Bonne année à vous!

Stay safe and stay sane.

Posted in Thoughts

Da Capo and Dal Segno : End of Year Note

For the last two years, at the end of December, I did a summary or some rant about things that happened in that year or my feelings about that. I didn’t plan to write any for this year. Not that I dont want to, but due to the high level anxiety towards next year. But, such incredible year is too important to let go.

If there’s anything we could take from everything we have been through this year, it is truly a great reminder to return and take care, first and foremost, basic things in life.

Mastering basic habits like sleep,eat and daily exercise well is a great advantage. Three things that have strong impact to our overall health, physically and mentally. Been writing few times that staying sane could be the most important achievement to deal with this year. Doing those three basic religiously is the (only) way to stay sane.

It’s also the year which truly show the real face of a country. Facing the same test given, each country deal with it differently. We surely have different situation and resources, but the main weapons to beat this pandemic are totally the same everywhere : wear your mask, wash your hands, avoid the crowd.

The main difference is the people. Personally, it feels like watching the result of the failure or the success from one’s educational system. I once wrote something about this here and just few weeks ago I found this picture below and voila, those the most resilience during this pandemic are exactly the same country with the best education system.

Reviewing the last 10 months of the situation here, lack of understanding and implementation about basic things and characters since early age is the root of all evils happened in this country and this pandemic brings out the worst of it.

We’re currently watching the result on the absence of some basic skills that supposed to be nurtured and mastered since early childhood :

Self discipline to deal with themselves in any situations. Following the rules, knowing right from wrong (like stealing social fund during this pandemic, really??), and many more.

Empathy to deal with others without prejudice, whatever background they have (like a neighbourhood who treats their own neighbour who suffers from covid like a germ that should be killed, I am lost for words).

Strong literacy and numeracy to understand how things work, the real situation scientifically, and make decision based on that (unlike the stupid useless government who’s been neglecting their people with their ignorance, killed so many who could have been saved, the highest death number of health care workers, and so many more).

I could go really long with this, but I wont.

This year is when gratitude and anxiety collide. Sometimes, it’s overwhelmingly confusing because you dont know which is the right one to feel. Looking back all the things happened, personally, it’s been a year full of countless blessings and a mere thank you to express the gratitude is not enough. It’s hard indeed, but to consider it’s bad, it doesn’t fit the definition.

But, whenever I look outside, it’s painful. I hope nothing but sincerely pray for everyone who’s been dealing with the hardships would be given the strength to keep going. This too shall pass.

Looking forward to next year, it would be a different battle to deal with. For me, January has always been the darkest winter. Literally and figuratively. By next week, we will return to the less humane (a polite way to say inhumane) shift schedule for the doctor.

My anxiety level was soaring while reading next month schedule yesterday and it’s only few days from now. Bad thought were running wild uncontrollably. The only way to soothe this is through the best ikhtiar and the highest tawakkul. Accept that we have no slightest power to control about the future nor the past.

Is the anxiety gone now? You bet.

Borrowing one of musical terms, 2021 seems like a Da Capo of previous years ago regarding few things like the shift schedule, some of daily life stuffs. In the other hand, it seems like a Dal Segno for certain part regarding the things happened outside. Like in London and some countries, it’s almost totally back to March again.

But, just like every Da Capo and Dal Segno, they all lead to al Fine. So we hope for this pandemic. It will lead to the end, although it would be best to keep our expectation low about the when.

Hope everyone always stay safe, healthy, and sane.

Amin.

PS : It’s quite hard to keep the tone that I want in the usual year end post.

Posted in Favorite things, Places, Travel

London Night Lights

Few weeks before the departure, I finally managed to experience one of the most wanted thing to do after three times being in London : to see London at night.

It was beautiful. It felt even more special because it was also the farewell after more than a year living there. Seeing the city centre full of lights, walking from Oxford Street to Piccadily Circus then a night bus ride to Tower Bridge.

I won’t write long about this. Hope the pictures and the video showed the beautiful scenes enough.

That night, Frank Sinatra’s London by Night became the soundtrack on my head :

London by night is a wonderful sight
There is magic abroad in the air
I’m often told that the streets turn to gold
When the moon shines on Circus and Square
Deep in the dark that envelops the park
There’s romance in each cigarette glow
Down by the Thames, lights that sparkle like gems
Seem to wink at each girl and her beau

London by Night was indeed a wonderful sight.

Posted in Thoughts

Lost in Labyrinth

These days it feel like living a throwback few years ago. The uncomfortable days of having constant thought called “What’s next?”.

This time, it even feels more intense because it wrapped with guilts and insecurities. Guilty about being far above ‘fine’ during this unprecedented year, insecure about the next things to do personally. I have several choices but dont really know how to start. Or maybe, still not really sure about starting it. I feel like torn between upgrading what has been running or starting new from the scratch.

I often wonder whether it is the side effect of staying at home all day with the little girl and it will be more months to go, or maybe another year? Even scarier knowing being outside, meeting with people is also not so recommended thing to do.

Unlike the last six months in London where I felt safe and so relieved being outside, here in Jakarta, whenever I am outside, I feel like my temperature rises and unwell. I continously keep reassuring myself everytime I go outside that I really have to do this and it’s for something essential.

After more than a year of absence from driving, I couldnt believe what a day of driving did to my body. No matter what the advertisings out there said, age doesnt lie. I felt like need two days rest after one day driving. How I missed reliable public transportation in London!

I am worried about many things and as always, it made me read more. As a result, I ended up with more worries. Blimey!

But, I took a tiny step today. For the first time in 10 years and months of consideration, I finally decided to upgrade the blog to a paid one for a simple reason : I want more of unposted London pictures in my blog and I need more storage for that.

For someone who’s too careful about money, deciding to spend money on something that could be done for free, then it must be really important. Thus, it took me months to come at such decision.

Congratulations on finding a tiny way out from your labyrinth, dear self.

Keep figuring out the rest of your homeworks.

Posted in Thoughts

Back to the Jungle

It’s been two weeks since the end of our London days. Two crazy weeks of so many high tension and risky things with current situation. It’s a huge relief that we have been through everything safely.

Finally found another nest to rest for next one year. Repeating the cycle of house viewings for the third time in three years. Taking risks meeting strangers because we didnt have any choice other than that. Luckily, we found one that we liked quickly and all the process went smoothly. After a week of staying at Airbnb, we moved in.

Filling the house was another story. Countless shopping sessions, boxes of decluttered things at the old home, moving things here and there, arguing about things to buy, taking care minor defects that suddenly appeared.

After one week in holiday mode and another week in unsettled house, I couldn’t be more grateful to be finally feel at home and just stay at home without thinking about things we didn’t have and haven’t done. I couldn’t be happier to be finally able to return to daily routines. Breakfast with choices, piano training with the little girl, exercise with Heather, arranging cooking and meal schedules, and many more.

The whole this moving thing is surely tiring. But, if I looked back, I would choose doing this all over again than any other choices.

Next week would be another different jungle to face when the doctor will resume work. It feels walking on the thin line between overthinking of the worst case and putting the highest trust on the Protector of all things. Trying hard to keep the balance to avoid falling into the despair.

Keeping the sanity is a tough job this year. All the uncertainties, unpleasant surprises, sad news, and the sudden changes happened in an instant, staying sane is such an underrated achievement. The tiniest victory, baby step progress, they deserve celebration.

As tiny as being able to beat subuh and resume sahur after two weeks of absence, like today.

Posted in Places, Review, Travel

Long Haul Flight with Emirates during Covid-19

I decided to book with Emirates over Qatar after reading that the latter didnt make PCR test compulsory for flying. Beside that, it’s been a while since I want to try Emirates again after the last time in 1994.

My first flight abroad to Manchester was Emirates and it was so impressive. So, this time my expectation was quite high.

And that became a jinx.

The reality was not up to the expectation. From check-in counter until on-board services.

We spent more than 1,5 hours queuing for check in and it was packed of people. Heathrow was full on the day we fly.

During boarding, it felt like we were not in Europe anymore. It was messy, crowded and the staff didnt do much to fix it. They called us based on seat rows. It was scheduled to take off at 13.40, but the plane was finally taking off at 15.00. Last minutes passengers kept coming.

The plane from London to Dubai was full, at least almost full. Three seats filled with two passengers, while the four seats with three passengers. Not sounds too good for current situation, right?

In a flight, they distributed a snack with hot drinks and a meal time. I didn’t order child meal considering it’s been always too bland but they still gave child meal for the little girl. The food variations on the tray was just so so. From the taste to variations. Fruits were absence. The taste was nothing extraordinary, or this is maybe really about my expectation speaking. The best airline meals that I have tried so far, the best one still goes to JAL. So does the service.

They dont give any special amenities for children, which Qatar does and also, as far that I know, Qatar gives face shield and child mask to little passengers. Safety kit were distributed on London-Dubai flight. It contained 3 ply of masks, gloves and wipes hand sanitizer.

Flight attendants were all wearing face mask, cap, and gloves. They’re attentive enough. In Dubai-Jakarta flight, I asked milk for the little girl to one of the FAs but she said they didnt have any other than the small cup to be poured on tea or coffee. I said it was okay. I just asked few of them. She gave me two and later returned with more in a cup. I said thank you and happy with the gesture. Not long, there were two FAs stopped by my seat and they handed me a box of white milk, and that was so far the most impressive service I had during two flights with Emirates that day.

But overall, I couldnt help comparing them with the service I received during two flights with JAL. So, the standard has been set pretty high. Something that is Japanese always do, in almost every aspect of life, just like when I write here.

Honestly, I didnt have any regrets choosing Emirates over Qatar, although it means losing a chance to earn the Qmiles points. I was curious about how their service and it’s been few times that I canceled Emirates for not losing Qmiles points.

My experience might be different considering the day we had the flights was the first day when lockdown was lifted in England. So people might have been waiting for that. Time they will be able to get out of the cold weather and fly to somewhere warmer.

Despite everything I wrote above, the most important things was they flew me safely back home. In current situation (and any situations), the most important thing of any services could do is to get their job done.