Category: Thoughts

Last Sunday to Tuesday was one of the longest 48 hours this year. Four flights, four different cities (because the necessities), minor to major delays, it was hard to believe we did it safe and sound, with some back (and b*tt) pain.

This trip shows no words could describe how traveling could bring so many life discomforts yet couldn’t help entertain them if an opportunity knocked.

This time, we traveled out of the normal one we do due to several reasons and twists that came along the way.

The sudden change of plans for the last four months, the sudden notifications at the last minute that pushed the brain to think harder than before, the countless zikr spelled, the pain all over the face as usual due to the change of weather, numerous bathroom trips all over the flights, yet, I will still choose to do it all over again once all those things became the past.

If it’s not love, then I don’t know what it is.

What I learn, you want to travel with the right companions. Not only one with the same vision but also one with different functions. When one is good at one thing, the other should cover the other area. Like when one is good at dealing with little details, the other one should be good at taking care of big problems. When one is highly anxious, the other two must be cool and chill.

Another advice: travel light and free when you’re young and blessed with the time and energy, travel comfortably when you’re older when you have the money.

It made sense why Islam strongly recommends us to be rich when I had to deal with the long queue on the few last rows to get out of the plane in the midnight to catch another flight within 15 minutes.

Certain conversations inside the head finally met its trigger for them to finally be delivered into a writing. A post from Humans of New York was the one who did the job.

I never know how Brandon has always been successful to create a story in a short instagram post yet could give huge effect for its readers.

For the countless time, I rarely envy anyone, except those who write so well.

The caption above says a lot about one of the indicators of highly successful parenting, in my opinion.

One of the highest ROI (return of investment) of successful parenting is when the children voluntarily involve you in their daily life when they’re adults.

The period when they no longer ‘need’ you to navigate their own life, yet they still include you in their daily life, no matter the distance which set you apart.

I am not talking about the occasional holiday together or the monthly visit. It’s good, of course, but, having the kids talk to you, tell you about everything like they’re still living under the same roof with you, I think that is one of the highest achievements one can have in life.

Just like any other great work, there’s nothing easy about it. The father above decided that not his job, not his career, but his family, that he put on the top of his priorities for 30 years. To be able to stick with such decisions is not something that everyone can do. Only one with clear goals and visions who understands what matters the most can do such a thing. It takes a huge leap of faith to keep doing what you believe despite everything life throws.

This is why parenting is a long game. The result is not what you see right now. The result won’t come immediately like some money you earn after a month of hard work. It’s not when the kids behave nicely. Not when she wins any competitions, delivers good results, or any tangible and measurable things that society could label you as a good parent.

The long years of sowing could be so tricky. There were times when it might feel so unrewarding. But, when you really believe in something, you just have to keep going.

It’s even hard to be successfully raised one, because you might be successful with one of your kids, but not really doing as good with the others, yet he did a great job with three!

The actual result of truly successful parenting is something that will come 20-30 years down the line, and it’s not something that everyone can see, but only can be felt at heart by both parent and the child. When both can talk comfortably and respect each other like they are equal. This is why I think, one of the endgame of parenting goals that we should aim is : raising an adult that will gain your trust and respect.

After all, we could only do our best when raising the children. The results are too hard to be predicted. Life rarely happens in one straight line curve. Too many unpredictable things could happen that might not guarantee what kind of result you will get or expect, despite all the efforts you pour into.

But still, no reason not to give your best bet on this. It’s one of the things in life that is worth your time doing it.

The more I see, observe, and experience, I come to conclusion that everyone is alone.

This life is a solo trip that everyone takes alone. We indeed have companies along the way, but they just crossed paths with us during the trip.

When you travel alone, no wonder sometimes or many times, you’ll get confused. You feel like you don’t know where to go, no matter how detailed you make your plans. You’ll face countless periods when the trip doesn’t go according to your schedule.

This makes the phrase “Know thyself” hit right on the spot. Maybe this solo trip is all about the journey to know ourselves, to realize who we truly are, then live accordingly.

In my country, usually, the confusion starts when it’s time to choose universities after graduating from high school. I think it’s exactly the real solo trip begins after traveling safely with the family for the last 18 years. Maybe some of us begin earlier. But, in general, most of us start at 18.

It’s the beginning of the period of asking endless questions that we ask ourselves. But, based on my observations, not everyone bother to look for the answers.

I have been dealing with many 20s-something in a boot camp where I have volunteered since last year. I am pretty sad whenever I listen to the indifferent tone when they tell me about what they do in life.

I wish everyone understands how precious your 20-s something. It’s one of the most critical periods in one’s life; one should use well and live it to the fullest. This period is all about something you need and want to do yourself. Whatever it is.

The period when you can decide everything on your own, the period where you can go wrong without bearing too many consequences, the season of life you can learn as much as you can, from anyone, from anywhere.

I am not saying that life stops there. But, the next session in life would give you a different set of questions to deal with. For this thing, I have also seen enough examples of the consequences when one is not working on their own 20-s issue. The impact is more extensive than their own lives.

This is one of my biggest fears in raising my daughter.

I am afraid I’m not (or we’re not) raising her well enough to have enough curiosity to ask some crucial questions about herself and her life and the ability to find the answers herself.

I hope when her time comes to start her solo trip, she won’t merely survive. I want her to thrive.

I want her to have lots of courage to deal with real-life problems. I want her to keep going no matter how much and hard she falls. I want her to not only chase pleasure, but I wish her to pursue meaning. I want her to understand the giant bug that prevents her from achieving anything that she wants to accomplish is always inside. I want her to consult not only me or her father or whoever advisor she trusts, but most importantly, I want her to consult Her Creator for every decision she makes because He is the only One who can guide and protect her from any harm in life. After all, whatever she does, wherever she is, again, she is on her own. I want her to involve Her Creator in everything she does in life.

As an 8yo, she asks many questions, and I hope she will keep doing so. I am grateful we have Google now. But Google is there to give some insights. It answers our preliminary questions, but its job stops there. We can use that for the next step, but the honest answer to our most essential life questions will never be found in Google. We have to keep looking to find the best solution where we finally feel at peace.

Tears couldn’t help flowing whenever this thought struck. Guess I have said enough for now.

Wow, a few writings in a row for the past few days. Well done, you, keep going.

My day always starts as early as 3 am.

It’s the best time of the day where I have all the silence needed for me without interruption and distractions.

My set of personal morning routines have been running since two last Ramadan. The first two hours after waking up are dedicated for taking care things that matter the most for me. All the conversations inside the head, all the plan for the day, all the to do lists, they were organized at this time. When it feels hard inside, this is also the best time to ‘consult’, to ‘nag’, to be very demanding to the One who takes care all affairs. Problems won’t go right away, but, at least, you know you have filed the complaint.

My working hours start once adzan subuh heard. Breakfast, lunch boxes, early morning lessons, and many more. 

After I am done with things in the kitchen, I’ll open my laptop and start exercising with Heather Robertson. Heather has been my daily exercise companion since 4 years ago. No day passed without meeting her on youtube, wherever I am, home or away. 

Done with Heather, I proceed for dhuha prayer. 

By 7.10 am, my kitchen is closed and cleaned, I get my morning endorphins and all most important personal routines done. Time to leave for school delivery. 

This is what happens 7 days a week, most of the time. Except no lunch boxes preparation on weekend. 

School delivery is done before 8 am. If it’s odd date, I will proceed with my morning walk. If it’s even date, where I send the little girl by car, it means cleaning up at home. Or, a proper nap time. 

Morning walk is my most look forward routine. 6000 steps are the main goal. Usually, boulangerie or grocery becomes the main destination. If it’s not, then I just walk leisurely until it’s time to return by the public transportation. There would be time when I don’t feel like walking. Then, I’ll choose the longer bus route to go home for reading. I usually arrive at home around 10-10.30 am. 

The little store that has been surviving for 6 years opens at 10 am and that when I start working part time from home.

The period between 10 am until school pick up is mostly about taking care my place.

Some cleaning, that’s for sure. 

Some cooking, if there’s a pressure. Some pressure like the fridge is quite empty while the food storage boxes is full. 

Some laundry, if it’s already the deadline. This is my least favorite chore of all.

Without cooking pressure or laundry deadline, then I will be taking some nap or doing some research for the on-going plans. Whenever I have plans that make me excited, my mind is rarely on the rest mode.

After midday, it’s time to prepare for school pick up . Afternoon spent more for taking care the little girl’s afternoon classes while replying customer chat, social media scrolling and being couch potato in between.

Dinner preparation usually starts at five.Here, dinner serves before 6 pm. I want my kitchen cleaned and closed before maghrib prayer. The little store is also closed by 6 pm. So, all works in a day are done by that time.

Above 6.30 pm is reading time for everyone until the last prayer of the day. By 8.30 pm, most of the time, the house is already in the dark mode.

Every two weeks, I have evening class every Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday where I volunteer to be a moderator for online English speaking class discussion. It’s something that I really enjoy doing. For the last two batches, the founder asked me to teach some of the classes. Some of them were pretty good. I realize that I am doing better at listening than talking.

From others, it may look mundane, but for me it’s an ideal daily life that I look forward to each day. I love how each thing that I consider important in life has the their own time slot. The only one which I am struggling is to find a fixed slot for writing. I desperately want a dedicated time slot for writing but still find it’s hard to be committed, although I have tried several ways like turnin on the reminder, etc. 

This one is finished after the early morning prayer and before the early morning shfit starts. It’s only doable when it’s weekend.

Despite of whatever excuse I have about writing regularly, this is a little struggle that keeps me sane along the way. So, maybe I’ll just be struggling then. It’s not a (good) life without a bit of struggle here and there, isn’t?

Have a nice week ahead!

The period of so many drafts yet not even one could be published because it’s always stuck after few paragraphs.

It feels like too much distractions around since the last post. Or maybe, let’s point all the finger to the opposite direction. I take the blame for allowing myself being distracted too often in the past few weeks.

The conversation inside the head is still loud as usual, few important things are on the table which needed to be addressed, yet, couldn’t help silencing them with quick dopamine flow and try to avoid the real work.

I am actually writing this to distract myself from the nervousness of talking in front of audience in less than an hour. This is one of few important things I wrote above. Accepted the offer with the number, have prepared quite thoroughly, yet, talking is not the forte. But, it’s something that I want and need to do. It’s been a while since the last time I heard my heart beating so loudly while my hands are sweaty.

Whenever something is too overwhelming inside the head, the mind spells this casts :

One thing at a time.

One step at a time.

One writing at a time.

Hopefully soon, more writing for next time.